topic Re: How do you feel about this? in Community Chat

How do you feel about this?

goldensrbest — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:18:19 GMT

When a person dies, it was their time to do so.

Re: How do you feel about this?

makena — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:20:42 GMT

Not sure really. Sometimes people say things like that when trying to console another simply because they really don't know what else to say. I think it really does not help the receiver of the message feel any better. Maybe they would just rather not hear anything at all.

Re: How do you feel about this?

SeaMaiden — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:23:28 GMT

@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.

I do not like it at all. WHO said it was their time?

Re: How do you feel about this?

QVCkitty1 — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:24:20 GMT

No I don't believe this is true.

Re: How do you feel about this?

hoosieroriginal — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:24:58 GMT

@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.

I have always felt that way - that when it's your time, it's your time. There are too many freak things that happen to people - wrong place, wrong time. Just had a woman here in Indiana die - she was a dog lover, last seen chasing a dog that was running loose - they found her dead by a stream. Just a freak accident. My first husband died at age 32 - he told my sister who didn't want to get on a plane to go to Hawaii that year for her anniversary - "When it's your time, it's your time". He told me later he already knew he was going to die. You hear of people who have smoked or drank all their lives and they live to be 100, others who die in their 30s. Just my opinion.

Re: How do you feel about this?

happycat — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:26:54 GMT

I don't really agree. I'm not going to try to change anyone elses mind though.

When an older loved one dies, that can be an easy thing to say...if they have been ill or suffering.

When one loses a child, or baby, however its hard pill to swallow. I know from experience.

Its never easy to say goodbye no matter the circumstances.

Someone told me once, that she just didn't believe the saying "all things happen for a reason" that she felt some things just happened with no rhyme or reason. That is how I feel at this point.

If you have recently lost someone @goldensrbest, I'm very sorry.

Re: How do you feel about this?

mima — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:29:34 GMT

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.
I have always felt that way - that when it's your time, it's your time. There are too many freak things that happen to people - wrong place, wrong time. Just had a woman here in Indiana die - she was a dog lover, last seen chasing a dog that was running loose - they found her dead by a stream. Just a freak accident. My first husband died at age 32 - he told my sister who didn't want to get on a plane to go to Hawaii that year for her anniversary - "When it's your time, it's your time". He told me later he already knew he was going to die. You hear of people who have smoked or drank all their lives and they live to be 100, others who die in their 30s. Just my opinion.

Could you explain more on the highlighted sentence? He already knew he was going to die? How far ahead did he tell you? Did he say how? Why? Everyone dies, so unless he gave more information I don't get it. Thanks!

Re: How do you feel about this?

deepwaterdotter — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:34:01 GMT

My father believed that God decides when one will die on the day they are born.

Re: How do you feel about this?

goldensrbest — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:34:13 GMT

In some ways i agree, but in other circumstances, i just find it hard to think that way.

Re: How do you feel about this?

granny me — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:38:00 GMT

Yes as a bible believer it says in Ecclesiastes 3:2 a time to be born and a time to die. I believe our dates are predetermined. It doesn't mean I walk out into traffic believing if it isn't my day I won't die, but I do believe just as our time to be born is known so is the time to die.

Re: How do you feel about this?

magicmoodz — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:38:53 GMT

I don't think for obvious reasons that is a comforting statement to make to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. But philosophically speaking, yes, I agree with that statement.

Re: How do you feel about this?

Puzzle Piece — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:40:29 GMT

For many, I do believe it's their time to pass on into the next life.

For others, hard as it may seem, it's also hard to accept - i.e. those that died in the towers on 9-11.

Re: How do you feel about this?

SilleeMee — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:41:06 GMT

If a person is murdered...to me this is not ever the time to die.

Re: How do you feel about this?

blackhole99 — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:43:52 GMT

I believe there is no doubt a mathematical equation that could figure out just about when you will die barring freak accidents.

Re: How do you feel about this?

deepwaterdotter — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:46:39 GMT

@blackhole99 wrote:
I believe there is no doubt a mathematical equation that could figure out just about when you will die barring freak accidents.

Isn't this known as actuarialism?

Re: How do you feel about this?

Pqfan — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:49:00 GMT

@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.

I am not really sure.

I do believe there are a lot of circumstances in effect that can cause death when someone didn't have to die.

If someone dies of natural causes it might be true that it was just their time.

Re: How do you feel about this?

Jaspersmom — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:50:06 GMT

@goldensrbest wrote:
When a person dies, it was their time to do so.

I do believe when it's your time, it's your time because I believe in something bigger than all of us. HOWEVER, I would never say something like that to a grieving family member. What I do say is, "No matter how old or young a person is, losing them is painful for those of us who are left behind." Loss is loss. We can cry just as much about losing grandma who was 100 as someone who was young. Don't get me wrong, it is horrible when someone young dies and the pain is great because we thought we had so much more time with that person. But when someone older dies, it is an end of an era. I was deeply saddened when I lost my grandmother even though she had lived a relatively long life.

Re: How do you feel about this?

Mominohio — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:56:44 GMT

@granny me wrote:
Yes as a bible believer it says in Ecclesiastes 3:2 a time to be born and a time to die. I believe our dates are predetermined. It doesn't mean I walk out into traffic believing if it isn't my day I won't die, but I do believe just as our time to be born is known so is the time to die.

Hence the problem when looking at it from a biblical point of view.

If our time is marked, why should we do anything to protect our life? Why eat smart or keep our weight under control? Why not take every risk that suits our fancy?

I have been told by religion all my life that it is predestined. I just really struggle with whether I believe it is or not.

I question that 'a time to...' might mean there is a time, but is it written in stone? Is it 'chosen' in advance, or is it something that a deity decides at any given time in our existence?

Great topic, and one I struggle with!

Re: How do you feel about this?

granny me — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 21:57:33 GMT

I didn't realize the question was would you say this to a grieving person. Of course not, who would say such thing? But for myself, my beliefs, I believe when it's your time it's time. There is no menu from which to choose on how we go, if there were wouldn't we all choose just to go to sleep?

Re: How do you feel about this?

Teddie — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 22:08:34 GMT

Shortly after I lost my dad, I sat at my table with a friend and I was hurting so much and crying. She said every possible cliche you can imagine. Even though I knew she meant well, everything she said hurt me more and I couldn't stop crying. How about just sit with me and tell me how sorry you are? That's all I wanted.

The friendship also died and we no longer see each other. But I've always hated the pat answers some give in trying to make someone feel better.