topic Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned in Community Chat

Trust: Given Freely or Earned

YorkieonmyPillow — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 16:53:05 GMT

Do you trust new people easily and freely, or do you feel that trust is something to be earned?

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

CareBears — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 16:54:39 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow Definitely earned, I have a terrible history of trusting the wrong people and have been hurt over and over!

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 16:58:20 GMT

Ahhhh!!! One of the worst things you can do to me is to lie to me. I get very upset at liars.

However, I also realize that if you back someone into a corner where they'll lie or do anything to get out of the situation, they will often lie.

Once a person lies to me, it is very, very difficult for me to trust them again. They must earn it back and sometimes they just can't do it. I have a terrible memory about most things, I don't usually hold grudges, but a grudge I will hold and never forget is to be lied to.

My daughtes are fully aware of that. They learned very quickly to tell the truth and we move on. It has been wonderful for our relationship because they've always known no matter what, Mom has their back, just don't lie about it. It frees a person up for a better relationship to be able to know that if they say it, 'that's how it is'.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 16:58:32 GMT

Trust I give until a reason not to trust is discerned, respect is earned.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

QVCkitty1 — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 16:59:45 GMT

I was too trusting in my younger days, I fear I've gone too far in the other direction. I don't trust easily.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

Mmsfoxxie — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:04:07 GMT

Trust in new acquaintances, I assume you mean. I trust most people I meet but with limitations. I trust that they are nice everyday people until they show me differently. Now does that mean I'd trust them with my money or my life...no. Now, while getting to know you, you let me down in some way, you have to earn future trust.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

YorkieonmyPillow — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:02:50 GMT

@Annabellethecat66I think you're a very wise person....

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

Oneanddone — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:09:51 GMT

Trust, respect, love, great relationships are always earned.

Nothing is free.

If you can find someone in your life that can live up to that, as well as you living up to that, you are truly blessed.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

hoosieroriginal — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:10:18 GMT

I trust NO ONE unless they have earned my trust.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

Quse — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:11:43 GMT

My entire working career has been in jobs where people lie as a matter of daily course. After being surprised a few times by "wow! never thought she/he would do something like that", I stopped being surprised by much, as human nature is what it is.
Now I live by "trust, but verify", which has been attributed mainly as a saying by Ronald Reagan, in reference to an old Russian proverb; however, the term was used for hundreds of years in Accounting. (Trust the numbers, but verify the math)

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

hoosieroriginal — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:14:29 GMT

I also rely on my great gut instinct about people - it has never failed me. It is instant when I meet someone - like or don't like. Phony or non-phony.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

Pqfan — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:14:44 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
Do you trust new people easily and freely, or do you feel that trust is something to be earned?

For me,trust is something to be earned.

I really have a hard time trusting people.

I am working on it but it doesn't come easy for me.

It never has.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

YorkieonmyPillow — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:19:14 GMT

Not to toot my own horn - TOOT TOOT - but I'm pretty good at reading people one-on-one. 🤣

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

maestra — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:24:43 GMT

earned, and rightfully so.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

NicksmomESQ — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:26:06 GMT

Over the years I've been burned by too many people I trusted.Aside from my DH & son I proceed with extreme caution & trust nobody!! Just the other day I was hurt pretty badly by a close friend.My DH & I are in shock that she did what she did!! We are currently trying to figure out how to navigate through it!!

This just reinforces to me that "you are your own best friend"!! If you don't look out for you no one else will!!

I wish that I didn't feel this way.But I've been kicked to many times.People have continuously taken advantage of my good nature.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

jaxs mom — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:31:43 GMT

Well I'm distrustful of people that seem to be data mining internet forums.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

YorkieonmyPillow — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:32:59 GMT

@NicksmomESQ I feel your pain and can relate. Oh the stories I could tell but I won't bore you with the details.

Ultimately, I blame myself for caring too much, wanting too much to help another person, etc. Better to keep those boundary walls high and well-maintained, IMHO.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

IamMrsG — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:36:06 GMT

@Annabellethecat66, the more I read of your posts, the better I like you.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

IamMrsG — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:44:28 GMT

I don't hold grudges, but once you've taught me you cannot be trusted, I will remember the lesson learned.

Re: Trust: Given Freely or Earned

BalletBabe — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:56:04 GMT

This is a hard question: Like others I have trusted too much and ended up getting stabbed. I am not one to invite someone into my home unless I truly trust them. That seems to take awhile for me. I think I am more cautious since my hubby passed.

I trusted my neighbor when my husband passed, and look how that turned out. He ended up stalking me, and I had to report him to the police. We had been friends with them for 13 years.

I think in this day and age you have to be careful. I definitly agree that trust has to be earned.