topic Re: Hypothetical question in Community Chat

Hypothetical question

YorkieonmyPillow — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:26:49 GMT

Hypothetical question.

You're in your twenties and have had a serious relationship for 4 or 5 years with the person you feel is the love of your life.

He or she is absolutely everything you want and admire in a person, and the two of you have discussed marriage.

Your love suddenly dumps you. The reason doesn't matter; it's just that they broke it off for whatever reason.

Due to how wonderful your love was, would you declare, "If it takes forever, I will wait for you," OR would you move on with your life (after grieving the relationship), and eventually (you hope) find someone else to love?

Re: Hypothetical question

Shanus — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:28:56 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow. I'd move on. After being dumped, I could never trust it wouldn't happen again...and again.

Re: Hypothetical question

CareBears — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:30:40 GMT

I would move on, if it is meant to be it will be, if not there are other fish in the sea!

Re: Hypothetical question

sunshine45 — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:33:22 GMT

move on.....easy decision.

Re: Hypothetical question

meallen616 — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:33:25 GMT

Definitely, move on!

Re: Hypothetical question

qualitygal — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:34:00 GMT

The latter for darn sure. Thank your lucky stars, hypothetically, that person left your life before it could have been ruined. They would have made a lousy other.

Re: Hypothetical question

SilleeMee — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:36:49 GMT

I believe in that saying...

"If you love something set it free..." I would move on. I did it three times!

Re: Hypothetical question

coco14 — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:36:36 GMT

Please move on.

Re: Hypothetical question

cherry — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:37:13 GMT

I would thank my lucky stars for a narrow escape, and move on. It probably would hurt a lot ,and take a while to recover ,but I think it's the best thing to do

Re: Hypothetical question

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:38:47 GMT

"Next contestant please." Or as my mother used to say, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Re: Hypothetical question

CrazyDaisy — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:39:09 GMT

In my 20s I think I might make the mistake of saying I would wait. Knowing what I know now, would just move on never looking back.

Re: Hypothetical question

riley1 — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:39:31 GMT

Move On!!!

Re: Hypothetical question

jaxs mom — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:41:54 GMT

Unless you're in it, you can't really know. I've never been in that exact scenario because we broke up by mutual agreement because we wanted different things at the time and I wasn't willing to wait after living together for 4 years.

Re: Hypothetical question

Tinkrbl44 — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:43:09 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
Hypothetical question.

You're in your twenties and have had a serious relationship for 4 or 5 years with the person you feel is the love of your life.

He or she is absolutely everything you want and admire in a person, and the two of you have discussed marriage.

Your love suddenly dumps you. The reason doesn't matter; it's just that they broke it off for whatever reason.

Due to how wonderful your love was, would you declare, "If it takes forever, I will wait for you," OR would you move on with your life (after grieving the relationship), and eventually (you hope) find someone else to love?

@YorkieonmyPillow

Oh, wow ..... Anyone who would "wait" for someone who dumped them is very naive ..... or delusional ... or both. They are clearly too immature to be in a serious relationship (which might be why the other person left).

Relationships run their course. People grow. Priorities change. The 20s is a time of growth and experimentation. What you feel strongly about at 20 years old could seem totally ridiculous at 25.

If you actually know someone in this situation, the best outcome is that they are open to considering this was a blessing in disguise .... and start to move on. NO ONE should spend years "waiting" for someone that doesn't want them.

Re: Hypothetical question

jaxs mom — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:43:36 GMT

BTW, I don't believe there is only one person in the world for anyone. So there is no reason to wait.

Re: Hypothetical question

SeaMaiden — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:43:57 GMT

Why would anyone want to be married to someone who does not really want them? I would see it as a gift once I got over the shock of getting dumped. Sure it would hurt....but sure would save a lot of grief later and save lots of money too to stop the wedding if they did not really want to marry you.

Re: Hypothetical question

dex — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:47:18 GMT

Why wait around while they explore their opportunities to do better...don't be the consolation prize.

Re: Hypothetical question

151949 — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:47:48 GMT

Boy, OP, I see this from 2 different points of view. I dated my high school boyfriend from junior high thru the year after HS. Then we broke up. I pined for him a long time. Then I met the man who was to be the love of my life. We married - we were totally happy - and he died suddenly when I was 30 years old. I thought I would never get over him. The pain was so horrible ! Even after a couple years I couldn't imagine going on without him. But time & great parents did wonders for me and eventually my old HS boyfriend reappears in my life. To make a long story short - we got married 34 years ago and we're still married.He isn't the love of my life - that is a once in a lifetime position and mine was already filled - but he is my strength, he is where I feel safe & comfortable. He and I know everything there is to know about each other - good & bad and we accept each other totally.We grew up together and now we will grow old together. We have the same values because we developed those values growing up together. He accepts my step children & my grandchildren as his own and loves them completely.

So that is the story of my lovelife ! All I can say is never say never - when we do that , God laughs.

Re: Hypothetical question

DianeFL — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:48:18 GMT

I would move on. I would have already invested 4 to 5 years and he broke off the relationship so I would not be willing to waste any more time on that person. As the saying goes life is too short. Move on and find the person they deserve.

Re: Hypothetical question

ChynnaBlue — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:48:26 GMT

Move on, but with the understanding that moving on takes time.

People don't just magically move on from getting dumped after that. You don't think rationally after that kind of emotional trauma.