topic Re: Valentine's Day Snub! in Community Chat

Valentine's Day Snub!

JSpring — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 01:55:58 GMT

We went to a Super Bowl party at friends we did a lot with when our kids were in high school but now usually just go to their annual party although we have had dinners out on Valentine's Day. It's always fun so I wanted to do more with them and another couple. I suggested we all have a meal at our place. Either Valentine's Day, the weekend before, or the weekend after. The third couple was open for any date. The couple hosting the party was enthusiastic and said they'd let me know what was good.

Last Thursday, I Facebook messaged the wife. I got word that the husband was sick, could they reschedule. I thought it weird since I gave 3 very separate dates. Well, tonight on Facebook, that couple posted a pic enjoying Valentine's dinner at a restaurant. The husband looked very healthy.

Clearly, they really didn't want to come over for dinner. Why lie? You always get caught. I would so love to comment that I thought he was sick but I decided not to. I think I'm just going to avoid them from now on and never reschedule that offer. I will add they pulled something like this once before at the last minute but didn't have the Facebook proof.

Am I being too harsh or missing something? No mean comments, I'm kinda hurt the way it is

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

cherry — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:07:42 GMT

Sometime we just outgrow our friends. I think you are wise to let it go and move on

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

LyndaGee — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:01:32 GMT

You have every right to be angry with the woman. That wasn't nice at all. She sounds like someone to stay far away from - I'm so sorry you had this experience.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

Drythe — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:55:24 GMT

@JSpring

OUCH! I'm sorry this happened.

My feelings would be hurt too + I'd be a bit POed.

Everything has a season, maybe your season with them has come to a close.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

Lucky Charm — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:03:30 GMT

I guess on *thee* day, they wanted to be a schmoozing couple, and I get that.

Maybe you'll call and ask if it's still on for this weekend?

Either way, Happy St. Valentine's Day--it's not over!

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

MezzieStarr — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:03:50 GMT

Maybe they wanted a romantic Valentine's dinner for just the 2 of them and didn't want to hurt your feelings. Or (sorry) they just don't want to hang out with you. I've dumped friendships before. Maybe you should dump them and get new friends.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

Carmie — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:04:21 GMT

I think your friends are rude and have no class. You didn't miss anything. Maybe they wanted to spend V Day alone, if so they should have just said so.

I would write them off of your social list. With friends like this, who needs enemies?

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

happycat — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:04:23 GMT

I'm sorry. I have a friend, who I think has done me the same way. Not over dinner, but just the two of us getting together. Wants to get together unless she gets a better offer.

It gets old, and after the first time, I just distanced her.

Now, when she and I have plans, I don't put that much into it.

I am sorry though, it is never a fun feeling to be snubbed.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

Mz iMac — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:05:06 GMT

Neither one of you guys have phones?

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

JSpring — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:08:12 GMT

Actually the first message about being sick did come across on the phone!

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

Annabellethecat66 — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:10:59 GMT

I agree with every who said you are better off just moving on. I also agree though with @Mz iMac why didn't you just talk on the phone. It's more difficult for people to lie (if that's it) talking to the other person.

I don't know why people lie about stuff. Two of my pet peeves are lying and exaggerating. This has become an epidemic in this country and seems to be acceptable everywhere. Goodness knows what the children are learning by observing.

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt but you don't need those kinds of friends anyway. I wouldn't.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

noodleann — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:11:49 GMT

Do yourself a favor and resist the temptation to fill the information void with your own script.

For all you know, the husband has been unwell because he has an inoperable cancer, or some other untreatable disease, and this may be his last Valentine's Day with his wife. They've decided to keep their bad news private, but they're really not thinking of social graces in the face of this terrible impending event. They just want to wring all the happiness they can out of the time they have left, together, without having to deal with friends and family at the moment.

I certainly hope this isn't the case, but it could be, and wouldn't that change the picture? Doesn't that make you glad you didn't leave a bit of snark on their Facebook page and possibly spoil their day?

Like another person here said, let it go. The day is supposed to be about love, and hopefully that can extend beyond our nearest and dearest.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

JaneMarple — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:15:25 GMT

I would have posted on fb anyway and wrote something like "Oh John looks so well after being sick" and I would have either posted a smiley face or heart.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

Kachina624 — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:15:48 GMT

@JSpring I know how hurtful this must be for you. I don't think I could resist commenting on Facebook how well John (husband) is looking these days. Just to let her know you're wise to her. Then you'll never have a make up an excuse if she calls because she won't call.

Who knows why people do what they do without regard for the feeling of others. Maybe they just felt like having a romantic twosome. Don't let it get to you, it wasn't you who committed the faux pas.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

JSpring — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:18:44 GMT

Thank you for your comments, I think I just wanted to get this off my chest! The old me would have said something that has gotten me in trouble in the past. Moving on is the lesson to be learned. My husband sang the Frozen song to me - "Let it Go....". Lol. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!! xo

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

Kachina624 — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:20:16 GMT

@JaneMarple Great minds think alike... see my post above.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

ROMARY — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:27:37 GMT

Personally, I'd 'drop it'. Forget it ever happened. Lots of folks tell 'little white lies' when they don't want to attend 'this and that'. If you just move on, and forget the past, I have a feeling that you will all enjoy one another's company again at other invites, gatherings, etc. Well, it's what I would do, anyway. Better to skip the resentment, in the long run.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

occasionalrain — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:28:58 GMT

Apparently, either she or her husband didn't want to have dinner at your house. Could it be because of the other couple? Whatever the reason, she mishandled it. Friends don't lie to one another. That she was enthusiastic about the suggestion was either misleading or her husband wasn't interested. I wouldn't invite them again. I'm sorry you were hurt and hope you had the dinner with the other couple because if you ccanciled, they will be hurt.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

ROMARY — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:30:15 GMT

Yes, O/P! 'Shake It Off' (Taylor Swift) is a good song to sing/dance along to.

Re: Valentine's Day Snub!

QVCkitty1 — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:37:57 GMT

I don't know why people just can't be honest with each other. I mean , why lie and then post on Facebook' it's kind of juvenile.