topic Re: The Elderly in Community Chat

The Elderly

Mistreatedbycs — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:02:57 GMT

I wish I could help all the elderly people out there.

The amount of scamming, taking advantage of and overall help they need with bills etc. Wish I could help all these people.

What happens is your "team" is most likely down to 1 person and the other one did so much and now you feel you are just lost. The kids aren't around and you just feel helpless. That's a bad feeling.

Just thinking how sad it is to get old.

Re: The Elderly

151949 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:13:18 GMT

I agree - some stay mentally sharp but they are few and far between. I have friends dealing with elderly parent issues right now and it is very difficult. I have elderly neighbors who are showing signs they are failing and needing help. A few homes in our plan have been sold by the children after Mom can't come to Florida for the winter anymore. Some of the people are only in their 70's.

Re: The Elderly

AKgirl2 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:23:16 GMT

@151949 wrote:
I agree - some stay mentally sharp but they are few and far between. I have friends dealing with elderly parent issues right now and it is very difficult. I have elderly neighbors who are showing signs they are failing and needing help. A few homes in our plan have been sold by the children after Mom can't come to Florida for the winter anymore. Some of the people are only in their 70's.

@151949 ~ one's health is their wealth and unfortunately, not everyone is rich in that respect How blessed people are who have their physical, mental and emotional health.

Re: The Elderly

Plaid Pants2 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:21:42 GMT

You know what else is sad?

The caregiving of the elder usually falls on to one person.

There could be 15 kids, and it usually ends up being just one person having to take care of the elder.

It is hard, heart-breaking work.

You do it because you love them, but the job comes with its own stresses.

Re: The Elderly

dex — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:25:27 GMT

@Plaid Pants2 I agree that it is stressful for a caregiver especially knowing that the only end to it will be final.I think this part of life is just so sad.

Re: The Elderly

Puzzle Piece — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:26:28 GMT

Yes, it's contemptable how villians prey on the elderly.

We had a care taker steal and burglarize my late in-laws. The accomplice went to jail, was released, violated parole and went back to jail for 6 years. The criminal care taker got off scot free because she gave up the accomplice and his where abouts to the police who had been looking for him for several years. She still got away with it all. She will do it again and be smarter about it to not get caught.

Re: The Elderly

Vivian — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:28:21 GMT

I am 70; My husband is 74. My mother is 94. I am totally aware of the scams out there and have never been taken in. My mother, on the other hand, has fallen for a few scams, fortunately not too damaging. I think there's a generational phenomenon going on here. We baby boomers know that there are some slippery characters out there and we're not suckered in as much as our parents have been.

Re: The Elderly

dex — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:29:42 GMT

@Puzzle Piece that is just ugly...how does a person find someone to trust and who will treat these frail elderly people with kindness.

Re: The Elderly

Bri21 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:32:26 GMT

It's heartbreaking. Some are so lonely. We need to take care of our elderly.

Re: The Elderly

AKgirl2 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:41:26 GMT

A couple of years after mom passed, I moved dad from FL to our home in UT. He lived with us for four years, until the decision was made to place him in assisted living, dad was 90 at the time. He had health issues, surgeries that led to declining mobility and I wasn't able to give him the supervision and care he needed. Dad was falling a lot, needed help with bathing, etc. Between family, work, and dad it became overwhelming. To this day, I still feel bad and guilty about putting him in assisted living. I don't think he forgave me for that. Pop lived to be 93❤️

Re: The Elderly

AKgirl2 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:53:20 GMT

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
Yes, it's contemptable how villians prey on the elderly.
We had a care taker steal and burglarize my late in-laws. The accomplice went to jail, was released, violated parole and went back to jail for 6 years. The criminal care taker got off scot free because she gave up the accomplice and his where abouts to the police who had been looking for him for several years. She still got away with it all. She will do it again and be smarter about it to not get caught.

You hope what goes around comes around much sooner for these

poor excuses of a human being.

Re: The Elderly

Puzzle Piece — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:46:53 GMT

@dex wrote:
@Puzzle Piece that is just ugly...how does a person find someone to trust and who will treat these frail elderly people with kindness.

She was recommended by a questionably neighbor and the late FIL just hired her because she was relatively inexpensive. She was an immigrant also and her accomplice was a burglar, robber, drug pusher, and assaulted people to take their wallets or handbags.

After she was found out, my late FIL hired a reputable care taker service that screens and does extensive background checks. Never recovered his losses.

Re: The Elderly

Catty2 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:52:12 GMT

I know what you mean. My mother has passed away but when she was still with us, and in the early stages of Alzheimers, somehow she subscribed to a bunch of magazines with her Visa card. And one time when I went over to see her I noticed a new pan in her kitchen and asked where she got it. She said a salesman came by and gave it to her. The fact that she let a stranger into her house really upset me. Who knows what could have happened.

Re: The Elderly

QVCkitty1 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:52:40 GMT

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
You know what else is sad?

The caregiving of the elder usually falls on to one person.

There could be 15 kids, and it usually ends up being just one person having to take care of the elder.

It is hard, heart-breaking work.

You do it because you love them, but the job comes with its own stresses.

You are so right, I've seen it time and time again , no matter how large the family one person does it all. I'm an only child, so iIt was all on me, and I don't regret a minute of it,but I ha e friends whose siblings give them no assistance, and it's shameful.

Re: The Elderly

kaydee50 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 22:55:37 GMT

@AKgirl2 wrote:
A couple of years after mom passed, I moved dad from FL to our home in UT. He lived with us for four years, until the decision was made to place him in assisted living, dad was 90 at the time. He had health issues, surgeries that led to declining mobility and I wasn't able to give him the supervision and care he needed. Dad was falling a lot, needed help with bathing, etc. Between family, work, and dad it became overwhelming. To this day, I still feel bad and guilty about putting him in assisted living. I don't think he forgave me for that. Pop lived to be 93❤️

I don't think you should feel guilty at all. You did the best for him and your family and yourself come first. I know people say that your parents raised you, you owe them but taking care of an elderly parent is not the same as taking care of a child. No way. My favorite scene in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is when Sidney Poitier says to his father, "I owe you nothing. You did what you had to do." Amen!

Re: The Elderly

10grands — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 23:00:31 GMT

Wow! How insulting, I am 80, and am just as up to date on scams, etc., as anyone else. I do not answer the phone if I do not recognize the caller, etc., etc. Just because we are older, please do not assume everyone is not still capable of taking care of themselves. I am a widow, still live in my own home and take care of my own business. I have many friends and acquaintances who are also very able to care for themselves.

Re: The Elderly

cherry — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 23:02:06 GMT

I don't understand why it was pertinent that she was an immigrant?

Re: The Elderly

AKgirl2 — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 23:25:04 GMT

@castlenv wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
A couple of years after mom passed, I moved dad from FL to our home in UT. He lived with us for four years, until the decision was made to place him in assisted living, dad was 90 at the time. He had health issues, surgeries that led to declining mobility and I wasn't able to give him the supervision and care he needed. Dad was falling a lot, needed help with bathing, etc. Between family, work, and dad it became overwhelming. To this day, I still feel bad and guilty about putting him in assisted living. I don't think he forgave me for that. Pop lived to be 93❤️
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. You did the best for him and your family and yourself come first. I know people say that your parents raised you, you owe them but taking care of an elderly parent is not the same as taking care of a child. No way. My favorite scene in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is when Sidney Poitier says to his father, "I owe you nothing. You did what you had to do." Amen!

@kaydee50 ~ thanks and appreciate your thoughts. As far as the

"I owe you nothing" easier said than done. I think for many of us, its just not as simple as that. No one on earth could've done more or loved me more and I wish I could of given as much, or at the least the same.

Re: The Elderly

esmeraldagooch — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 23:11:55 GMT

@AKgirl2 wrote:
@castlenv wrote:
@AKgirl2 wrote:
A couple of years after mom passed, I moved dad from FL to our home in UT. He lived with us for four years, until the decision was made to place him in assisted living, dad was 90 at the time. He had health issues, surgeries that led to declining mobility and I wasn't able to give him the supervision and care he needed. Dad was falling a lot, needed help with bathing, etc. Between family, work, and dad it became overwhelming. To this day, I still feel bad and guilty about putting him in assisted living. I don't think he forgave me for that. Pop lived to be 93❤️
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. You did the best for him and your family and yourself come first. I know people say that your parents raised you, you owe them but taking care of an elderly parent is not the same as taking care of a child. No way. My favorite scene in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is when Sidney Poitier says to his father, "I owe you nothing. You did what you had to do." Amen!
@kaydee50 ~ thanks and appreciate your thoughts. As far as the
"I owe you nothing" easier said than done. I think for many of us, its just not as simple as that. No one on earth could've done or loved me more and I wish I could of given as much or at the least, the same.

Ive seen quite a few do too much and end up worse than the person they are caring for. Don't beat yourself up.

Re: The Elderly

dex — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 23:13:35 GMT

@Puzzle Piece I feel so sad for your FIL to be taken advantage of when he and your Mil really needed some help.Thankfully he made a good choice the second time.I really don't know if you can avoid scammers no matter where you hire from.People just seem to have less morales and the consequences of their misdeeds aren't much these days.