topic Re: Unwanted gifts in Community Chat

Unwanted gifts

Nomorebirthdays — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 14:17:03 GMT

I have always make sure my family knows I have enough stuff, they know I like to clean, but dusting not so much.

Every Christmas they give me more, this year 3- 12x12 matching pictures for kitchen. Nothing wrong with them, not cheap, but I just do not want them.

Also a large glass weather thing, glass balls in liquid. Very modern in style, my home is very country-traditional.

The problem is they are family and both scan my home every time they enter.

I am not hard to gift, they know I like jewelry, gloves, sweaters, cozy Jammie, socks, Pima t-shirts from llbean.

What to do??????

Re: Unwanted gifts

qualitygal — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 14:30:32 GMT

IMHO, if this is just about your Christmas gifts, give them a specific list. Consider what they can afford, according to your list.

I never wanted "house" gifts, personal gifts are fine. Maybe that needs to be clarified to them. Not everyone remembers from year to year what someone else wants.

If you want specifics, I think you may want to be more specific with them.

Re: Unwanted gifts

cherry — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 14:32:49 GMT

I guess the only thing left for you to do, is to be as tactfully, honest, as you can with them. I'm glad I don't have to figure out a way to tell someone, please don't buy me certain things.

They might think they hit on the perfect gift for you. But, if it truly upsets you, honestly is the best policy

Re: Unwanted gifts

Sooner — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 14:42:41 GMT

Don't display any of the items they get you. When asked where they are simply say "I have enough things to display already, I just don't have any room for more. I don't want to dust them."

THey will get the idea or they won't.

Re: Unwanted gifts

Trinity11 — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 14:47:42 GMT

Smile and tell them everything was put in storage. If they further ask you about where they are......change the subject.

Re: Unwanted gifts

goldensrbest — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 14:51:41 GMT

Oh boy, i went through this so many times with my now deceased mil, i lied for years, made excuses,then finally had to tell the truth to her.

Re: Unwanted gifts

pattypeep — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 14:59:20 GMT

@qualitygal has a great idea. Make a list prior to each birthday, Christmas or Mother's Day (if they give to all ) letting them know what you would like. It may take a burden off their shoulders as well. I believe this to be the kindest way to let them know.

Re: Unwanted gifts

reiki604 — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:07:20 GMT

How about thanking the gift givers graciously and donating what you don't like to charity? There are some things worth making an issue about and some that aren't. IMHO not getting the GIFT you wanted is not worth making a big deal over.

Re: Unwanted gifts

Suziepeach — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:11:50 GMT

It's not that we don't want or appreciate what we're given but they all know " we want Cracker Barrel gift cards" for when we travel. Now we did get one at Christmas but also included were a few little things.

I am going to propose to them for this season, let's not give each other anything, just give for the kids'. It's my husband's family and we butt heads over it.

Re: Unwanted gifts

qvcaddition — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:19:49 GMT

@reiki604 wrote:
How about thanking the gift givers graciously and donating what you don't like to charity? There are some things worth making an issue about and some that aren't. IMHO not getting the GIFT you wanted is not worth making a big deal over.

Exactly what I do. I got two of the cheapest spur of the moment gifts this Christmas from two aquantices, not family, and they went in my good will donation bag in the garage. I could tell these were given to them. I just smiled and thanked them.

Re: Unwanted gifts

Bri21 — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:25:46 GMT

@reiki604 wrote:
How about thanking the gift givers graciously and donating what you don't like to charity? There are some things worth making an issue about and some that aren't. IMHO not getting the GIFT you wanted is not worth making a big deal over.

I agree.

I always include a gift receipt when I purchase a gift. I would never want the recipient to feel obligated to keep the gift. Return it, exchange, it, be happy with it...

Re: Unwanted gifts,

gidgetgh — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:27:05 GMT

@qvcaddition wrote:
@reiki604 wrote:
How about thanking the gift givers graciously and donating what you don't like to charity? There are some things worth making an issue about and some that aren't. IMHO not getting the GIFT you wanted is not worth making a big deal over.

Exactly what I do. I got two of the cheapest spur of the moment gifts this Christmas from two aquantices, not family, and they went in my good will donation bag in the garage. I could tell these were given to them. I just smiled and thanked them.

I do the same thing, put them in the donations bag, but the OP noted that the family members who gave them to her regularly come to her house so it makes it a little trickier. I'd put them away for about a year and then donate. If asked, just say I put them away for now.

I always feel a little bad when I donate a gift, but sometimes you get something that just doesn't work for whatever reason. I make the decision to donate quickly and move on.

Re: Unwanted gifts

MacDUFF — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:35:45 GMT

I went through this many years ago with my siblings...none of us could afford to give gifts...no problem with a tin of cookies or a nice lunch out, but I have never liked dust-collecting gewgaws.

I made several attempts to tactfully and kindly tell them that I did not want or need a single thing, every year being more and more forceful...after a few years of this, all but one of my sisters "got it." When Christmas rolled around, this sister gave me a gift, and I returned it to her, unopened, with as nice a note as I could muster.

Everyone finally got used to it and eventually even appreciated it...spend your $$ on the kids for pete's sake!! How many ways can one say: "I don't want anything for [fill in holiday]...please do not give me anything...thankyouverymuch."

I understand that your family will come over and look for their gift...that's a bit more delicate situation! You may just have to say "thank you," and then exchange the gift for something you want/need and flat out tell them you did so. "What happened to the fancy indoor barometer you gave me? I exchanged it for these cool socks...see? I love them! Thank you so much!" Easier said than done, I know. In the meantime...

Re: Unwanted gifts

jackthebear — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:33:03 GMT

Re: Unwanted gifts

Nomorebirthdays — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:34:08 GMT

I do thank them all. I guess I was not clear in my post. I do say I like socks, jewelry, pj's.

I think "nothing I have to dust" is pretty clear. I should also they are the Queens of clutter, they both have every flat surface in their homes covered with things.

I even suggest get me nothing, just the kids and grand kids. Six children total.

Last year when the asked, I mentioned a pair of slippers, another gave me 5 pair, and got me 2 more pair this year.

We are a close family and know each other well. They just do as they please. I am very grateful for family, health and love. The important stuff.

This a small thing, just annoying.

Re: Unwanted gifts

on the bay — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:36:14 GMT

@MacDUFF

LOL!!-I love the "dust collecting geegaws"

Re: Unwanted gifts

Nightowlz — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:53:09 GMT

ITA with the OP. I'm in the same situation. I don't want to dust all that stuff either. I have packed up most of my knick knack stuff for that very reason. We told DH's family during Christmas that this year was it & we were not going to do the gift giving during the holidays anymore. Some were not happy & I can see why. I buy what I consider nice gifts only to receive krap like an ove glove or chia pet or something along those lines. I'm so tired of all the krap we receive. It all goes to the attic. DH has slowly been taking most of the stuff in the attic to the dump.

Re: Unwanted gifts

Krimpette — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 15:57:18 GMT

Pardon me, but I think they're being kind of rude...especially when you gave them suggestions. Next time, I'd be inclined to say that " I really can't use any more things for the house, but I'd love to have........(insert wish here)". And if they still give you something for the house, I'd have no qualms about putting it away and not feeling obligated to display it. (Just me, I guess.)

Re: Unwanted gifts

Suziepeach — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 16:02:00 GMT

Truth be known I don't want "little" stuff as we don't need a darn thing. If you want to buy us something then get gift cards!!!!! LOL

Re: Unwanted gifts

Nightowlz — Thu, 26 Jan 2017 16:03:23 GMT

@Krimpette wrote:
Pardon me, but I think they're being kind of rude...especially when you gave them suggestions. Next time, I'd be inclined to say that " I really can't use any more things for the house, but I'd love to have........(insert wish here)". And if they still give you something for the house, I'd have no qualms about putting it away and not feeling obligated to display it. (Just me, I guess.)

@Krimpette This has happened to us over & over thru the years that's it's ridiculous. We have been married almost 41 yrs. I'm sure his family knows what we like & don't like. Does no good to leave them suggestions as they really don't seem to care. I'm sure they all know the stuff they give us goes in the trash or attic as it's no place in site. LOL!!! I don't really care what they think I did with the gift they gave us.