topic Re: Kissing Children in Community Chat

Kissing Children

fortune — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:46:37 GMT

The man across the street has two children--a girl around 9 and a boy about 7. His wife works a lot and is out of town a lot. He doesn't work and spends a lot of time with the kids when they are not in school.

The little girl plays with my neighbor (also 9 or 10), who spends all her time across the street with her little girl friend, the dad, and the little boy.

I've seen the father kiss my neighbor girl on the lips several times. Is this normal or should this indicate red flags?

Re: Kissing Children

CareBears — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:53:44 GMT

@fortune Maybe I am from a reserved family, but my own father did not kiss me on the lips always just on the cheek, maybe I am reading your post icorrectly, he is not kissing his daughter on the lips but his daughters friend who happens to be the same age?

Re: Kissing Children

woman63 — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:54:32 GMT

Tell the child's parents. Do it right now.

Re: Kissing Children

RainyDayGal — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:54:38 GMT

Define "kissing"?

I'm not even going to jump to conclusions on this.

Re: Kissing Children

fortune — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:57:49 GMT

@CareBears wrote:
@fortune Maybe I am from a reserved family, but my own father did not kiss me on the lips always just on the cheek, maybe I am reading your post icorrectly, he is not kissing his daughter on the lips but his daughters friend who happens to be the same age?

@CareBears

He kisses both his daughter and her little friend on the lips every time they or he is leaving. This is the only time I see them--when they are outside. I don't know what goes on inside. They mostly play inside with the father and little boy. Both are around 9 or 10 years old.

Re: Kissing Children

fortune — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:59:51 GMT

@CareBears wrote:
@fortune Maybe I am from a reserved family, but my own father did not kiss me on the lips always just on the cheek, maybe I am reading your post icorrectly, he is not kissing his daughter on the lips but his daughters friend who happens to be the same age?

@CareBears

I didn't kiss either of my parents on the lips either.

Re: Kissing Children

CareBears — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:00:37 GMT

@fortune Not knowing the people involved I do not want to speculate but being a mother who has had a teenage girl, if she had ever come home and told me that one of her friend's father was kissing her on the lips, that just sounds really bad, you need to talk to this girls parents and tell them what you have witnessed, again I don't want to speculate, but GROSS!

Re: Kissing Children

Sooner — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:02:27 GMT

It's inappropriate. Especially now with so many people you wouldn't expect being accused of inappropriate behavior with children, I would kiss kids on the cheek, and teach them NOT to be kissed on the lips by others. If that would happen then they would probably report it to you.

That way, I'd think you have a better shot at knowing when someone is handling the child in a way you wouldn't want them to.

Lip kissing can come later and not from parents and older friends of parents or people they associate with. You just can't be too careful these days.

Re: Kissing Children

Trinity11 — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:07:34 GMT

Fortune, I would go by my gut. You asked the question here so clearly there most definitely IS something wrong. I am a very reserved person who rarely if ever gets involved in anyone's business but this I would intervene and tell my neighbor what you are seeing....

Re: Kissing Children

Cakers3 — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:11:29 GMT

@fortune wrote:
The man across the street has two children--a girl around 9 and a boy about 7. His wife works a lot and is out of town a lot. He doesn't work and spends a lot of time with the kids when they are not in school.

The little girl plays with my neighbor (also 9 or 10), who spends all her time across the street with her little girl friend, the dad, and the little boy.

I've seen the father kiss my neighbor girl on the lips several times. Is this normal or should this indicate red flags?

@fortune Where is the mother if this little girls spends ALL her time with the dad and his children?

As disturbing as that kiss may be-it is just as disturbing that this girls mother seems to be delegating the care of her daughter to a neighbor.

And do the children of this dad ever play at another house??

Isolation of children is not necessarily bad but it can also indicate issues behind closed doors, although usually outsiders are not allowed in homes where abuse may be going on.

This is not an easy one to answer; I would seek the advice of a professional child protection worker and let them decide.

Re: Kissing Children

Pqfan — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:13:26 GMT

I don't know them but I wouldn't want him to be doing that if those were my kids.

No way!

Re: Kissing Children

RainyDayGal — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:16:41 GMT

How do you know the parents aren't aware of this? Surely they've seen him and his daughter when they leave.

My husband comes from a family of kissers - on the lips (little pecks, it's not like they're KISSING). So just because someone hasn't experienced it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen in families.

Re: Kissing Children

Cakers3 — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:17:56 GMT

@RedConvertibleGirl wrote:
How do you know the parents aren't aware of this? Surely they've seen him and his daughter when they leave.

My husband comes from a family of kissers - on the lips. So just because someone hasn't experienced it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen in families.

@RainyDayGal This is true.

I think the OP should consult child services.

They can determine if any course of action is needed.

Re: Kissing Children

blackhole99 — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:20:10 GMT

I think kissing a neighbors child is inappropriate period, I would tell her mother ASAP. I have a brother in law who is very kissy face and kisses every female in the family no matter what age on the lips. You have to tell him to back off, he doesn't seem to know when to quit. His behavior with his 9 yr old grand daughter really bothered me until I heard her say for him to back off.

Re: Kissing Children

CareBears — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:20:42 GMT

@RainyDayGal As a parent I would feel obligated to at least tell this girls mother so she is aware of it, maybe she is and finds this acceptable, no harm done then, but if she is unaware give her the choice to handle the situation.

Re: Kissing Children

makena — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:23:32 GMT

@Cakers3 wrote:
@RedConvertibleGirl wrote:
How do you know the parents aren't aware of this? Surely they've seen him and his daughter when they leave.

My husband comes from a family of kissers - on the lips. So just because someone hasn't experienced it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen in families.
@RainyDayGal This is true.

I think the OP should consult child services.

They can determine if any course of action is needed.

I would not do that. If it's nothing, it could cause all kinds of problems for the family. MYOB.

Re: Kissing Children

Pqfan — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:25:04 GMT

I wouldn't even know what to do because if you tell her it might be an uncomfortable thing to say but not saying anything could be worse.

Re: Kissing Children

RainyDayGal — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:27:06 GMT

I would definitely not call Child Protective Services. They will ruin peoples lives before even getting any kind of proof. I've seen it happen. If she is concerned, she can ask the mother. But I find it hard to believe the mother hasn't observed this interaction.

Re: Kissing Children

CareBears — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:30:23 GMT

@Pqfan It will be an uncomfortable situation, but a child's welfare is at stake, no one should just assume anything, the childs mother should be made aware of the situation!

Re: Kissing Children

CareBears — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 21:32:51 GMT

@RainyDayGal I agree I think it would be premature to involve the authorities until the childs parent has been consulted, let the parents handle it from there, but do not do NOTHING!