topic Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here? in Community Chat

If you lived in another country, would you move here?

Shorty2U — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 17:28:54 GMT

Hypothetically, if you lived in another country would you move to the USA? I'm talking about if you lived in a civilized country (because of course someone in a war torn country would move here). Please don't make it political because that is not my intention.

I love the USA, but I can honestly say "if" I lived in another "civilized" country, I would not move here and leave my family for this faster paced life. Heck I wouldn't even move to another state..lol. because I would be lost and miss my children and grandchildren too much. They are my life, (along w DH).

You see my granddaughter (almost 19) has a very good male Scottish friend (20). He has been here 2X. Once with his Mom, and once alone. (When he came here alone his mom was in tears).

He is a very nice young man, with great values, intelligent, and from a good family. Presently he goes to college in Scotland (and works). College is free over there (and I think? they have free healthcare). He has his mom and dad (separated), a grandfather, and an aunt. (He has no cousins and no siblings).

Well my granddaughter and him like each other very much. He is thinking of moving here (for reasons I will type below), and going to college. I guess he would get a visa to attend college, (in addition to work?), which he says all of this can take like a year to get interviewed and paperwork etc? And not just for those things but to live here FOREVER.

Granddaughter is starting college Fall 2017, since she took a year off after graduation and is working. She is also very intelligent, a really good girl with values, and she's a beautiful young lady!

Anyway, when he was here he couldn't get over the way people focus on "things" and he couldn't get over the way the houses here all look different. He said over there they are in a row and look the same. They don't focus on things, they focus on family and simplicity. Also, he is very thin, but he gained 12 lbs the last time he was here! lol. He loves a lot of our restaurants and some of our treats, which granddaughter sends him (non perishables).

Frankly from what he described, I'd rather live there than here!...lol.. DH said the same and cant believe he wants to live here. But he says he misses granddaughter, doesn't fit in over there anymore, and is bored. I guess it boils down to the grass is greener on the other side, etc. (but is it?). Well you get what I mean.

DH and I have NOT given our opinion to anyone, we just listen to everything. I have learned to stay out of things that arent my business (for the most part..lol). BUT we feel his family will be very heartbroken if he moves here. Yes, I know people have done this forever (my grandparents did it), and young people have no fear.

So I hope whatever he decides is right "for him" and he has "no regrets" later, as those of us who are older know, "with age comes wisdom"

Oh PS in case anyone wonders, they met as modern day pen pals online (for a few years) and his mom came with him the first time for weeks. Then he came here alone (supervised heavily by granddaughters parents!). And we all like him very much, hes a good kid.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

cherry — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 17:34:27 GMT

I doubt that I would move.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

sandraskates — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 17:38:23 GMT

@Shorty2UYour story has me smiling! They sound like a good match for either a strong friendship or beyond, as their lives unfold.

I actually lived in England for a couple of years and it was a good experience to see how others live (we'll stick to the civilized country scenerio). It was more difficult to do day-to-day tasks and errands but I thought people were much more polite to each other. And where I stayed there were many rowhomes that all looked alike. It's not like that everywhere in England, it just depends on the boroughs.

I was glad to "come home" at the end of my stay.

I sometimes wish that one could live anywhere they want without all the red tape involved. I can think of many countries I'd like to live in - Denmark, Australia, Maurituis. . .

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

Laura14 — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 17:41:07 GMT

I think you have it right with "the grass is greener" and they are definitely young and not thinking straight. When you spend 24/7 with someone, you understand absence and the heart growing fonder. It's not going to be the fantasy in their heads.

I don't think you can just move to another country in this day and age (especially the USA) without a good deal of paperwork and government approval so he may be in for a shock if he really thinks he can do that. A long vacation maybe but I doubt he'll go further than that without a good job offer or god forbid marriage to your granddaughter meaning they are way too young to take that step.

You have it right to sit back and enjoy the show. Reality is probably going to bite hard personally and legally.

And to answer the question, I personally wouldn't move myself out of my country unless I married a husband with an international job and we were going some place I thought I could handle. I like to travel but I was done with Europe after a week and very glad to get back home.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

blackhole99 — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 17:56:10 GMT

My husband and I have been thinking of movng out of the country since he retired, but where to go is the is the problem. We want to go where it's warm,my son lived in Mexico and liked it so maybe we'll try there. We like the states and if you have plenty of money, it's a great place to live. Of course everything here is about bigger and better from homes to peoples's height. I think we need to check our values in this country.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

Lucky Charm — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 18:12:51 GMT

So I'm assuming he verbalized how much he couldn't get over how much 'we' focus on "things" and 'over there' they "don't focus on things, they focus on family and simplicity".

I don't understand what "things" are. Maybe you could explain?

If I ventured to guess, maybe our cars, our electronics, our different shaped/sized homes?

If that's the case, I personally don't think I focus/obsess on any of that. I own homes worth hundreds of thousands of dollars more than the one I live in.

But getting back to him and what he says their focus on is family, and sadly his parents are separated.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

willdob3 — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 18:14:41 GMT

I'd say it depends where I was living but, honestly, I doubt it. I live here and I'd move out of this country if I had the money & could figure out where to go.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

MarthaStewardess — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 18:20:25 GMT

I have lived in another country at different times of my life. I have family both here and there and if I had it all to do over again, with hindsight, I'd more than likely not move back here.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

Pqfan — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 19:58:03 GMT

Oh I would do anything for love.

I would do anything for love.

But I won't do that.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

SahmIam — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 18:30:17 GMT

This is a conversation we have with family members every year as they either come here or we go there (England). My inlaws own a home here in the US as well as England, Provence and Italy; they travel here and there to see family and to enjoy what each home has to offer.

We are looking at the possibility of relocating to England due to the needs of our son. However, whenever there has been a SERIOUS health issue, my in-laws and other family members overseas have come to the US for their medical care. They will NOT come here to live permanently, however.

There is a consensus among family and friends in Europe that if you are well educated, have an excellent skill set and enjoy a wonderful quality of life, then you don't move to the US. Friends can not imagine having to worry about medical bills, having to choose between heat or Rx's, etc. They don't understand the issues with guns and why the US needs them. They don't understand why we have such a woeful public transportation system. There is also the fact that for less than a $100 in air fare, you can have breakfast in England, lunch in Paris, dinner in Germany and then be home in your own bed that night; That wouldn't get me to New Jersey! (from DC).

Overall, the pros are there for staying in England, France, Germany, Italy, Australia and Japan (where everyone lives) for those who have been to the US for extended stays.

It's a difficult choice, being VERY honest.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

SilleeMee — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 18:30:40 GMT

I know one thing...if I met someone who wanted me to move to THEIR country for whatever reason, I would not do it. Simple as that.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

AngusandBuddhasMom — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 19:04:39 GMT

Depends on where. I would not want to live in Europe but have lived in the ME so I guess I have a different take on things.

And just because a country is war torn does not mean that all people in it are not civilized. The US and other western countries have been war torn and they were never considered uncivilized. Living in the US is not everyone's golden ticket dream.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

faeriemoon — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 19:05:29 GMT

No; I would definitely not move here.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

Moonchilde — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 19:44:39 GMT

How willing one would be to "move country" depends a lot on their age when they're thinking about it, and their innate ability to cope with change and adapt to new situations. You'd have to enter into the move seriously wanting to do it and being aware you will have to give some things up that you now take for granted.

At my age, there are pros and cons. Healthcare and housing are much less expensive/"free" if one has no job and/or is retired - Europe doesn't let you starve without a roof over your head; the basics are there for you. But it is a walking society (and many fewer people have cars) and I wouldn't be able to do the walking required to shop and schlepp home. There are many people who are neither handicapped nor athletically fit.

The healthcare is not always (or even usually) timely/available when needed/wanted. You'll be waiting a lot, and in pain sometimes. Your cancer might spread because you have to wait 2-3 months for treatment, but your treatment will be free. You might have to suffer 6-9 months with gallbladder problems before it will be removed.

I have never lived in a snow-cold climate so moving to somewhere that it's down in the teens & 20s all winter would not appeal, especially being that heating in older buildings isn't always or even usually as good as it is here.

For me the answer would be probably not - but I'd love to spend six months trying it out ;-)

As far as moving here from Europe, I think those who do so successfully are people who are more emotional misfits in their own country and have a natural mindset more akin to the way most Americans look at life.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

RainCityWoman — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 01:59:03 GMT

It's very expensive to move, even just state to state. It's even more difficult to move to another country. It depends on what you're hoping to find in the move. I would love to move to London, but there is no way I could afford to live in that expensive city. It's just a dream.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

KaySD — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 19:34:40 GMT

That's a nice story, and I love it that we are all becoming more aware of and connected to many parts of the world.

No, I wouldn't move here, especially, unless for a particular reason. A wonderful work opportunity or relationship, maybe, or to spend time somewhere that just calls out to me. True, the U.S. is a beautiful country with much to offer, but this is equally true of many places. "Perfect" is more a state of mind than a place, anyway, don't you think?

Perhaps some day the idea of a "country" will seem very antiquated. I mean, right now, we have to have a passport from (and pay taxes to) someplace, right? But maybe it would be more wonderful if there were no boundaries or conflicts and we all got along. A person can dream!

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

itiswhatitis — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 20:13:56 GMT

@Shorty2U wrote:
Hypothetically, if you lived in another country would you move to the USA? I'm talking about if you lived in a civilized country (because of course someone in a war torn country would move here). Please don't make it political because that is not my intention.

It would depend on where I am living in comparison to coming to the US.

If I lived in Finland, Norway or one of those countries, NO I would not move to the U.S. I'd stay put in that region.

If I lived in any of the European Union Countries, I might move to the U.S. I'd stay in France, UK, Netherlands, or even Austria. I'd leave Greece, Italy now. I'd stay in Russia, Germany and Portugal.

If I lived in an Asia-Pacific Country like India I'd come to the USA. Japan I'd stay home. China, Phillipines ~ I'd move to the US. If I lived in Pakistan, Afghanistan or some such place like this, I would likely stay put too.

If I lived in Africa, I might stay home or move to the US. If I were in Senegal, Ghana, Algeria, Tunisia, Nambia, Morocco, South Africa, Botswana, I would not leave. No Egypt, no Sierra Leone, No Nigeria.

I'd stay in Australia, Greenland and New Zealand.

I'd stay in Canada and be happy as a lark. I would leave Mexico, Colombia, Argentina, Honduras, and Haiti and move to the US.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

itiswhatitis — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 19:41:16 GMT

@KaySD wrote:
That's a nice story, and I love it that we are all becoming more aware of and connected to many parts of the world.

No, I wouldn't move here, especially, unless for a particular reason. A wonderful work opportunity or relationship, maybe, or to spend time somewhere that just calls out to me. True, the U.S. is a beautiful country with much to offer, but this is equally true of many places. "Perfect" is more a state of mind than a place, anyway, don't you think?

Perhaps some day the idea of a "country" will seem very antiquated. I mean, right now, we have to have a passport from (and pay taxes to) someplace, right? But maybe it would be more wonderful if there were no boundaries or conflicts and we all got along. A person can dream!

@KaySD, excellent observations.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

StylishLady — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 20:15:06 GMT

I did. I was a 28 year old single working girl when I met DH around May of 1963. We were married on August 31st and I moved with him to his new job right in the US after. I kept my Canadian citizenship until 2004, when I became a US citizen.

This is me in Tampa FL right after the ceremony. I felt quite proud.

Re: If you lived in another country, would you move here?

Moonchilde — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 20:25:51 GMT

O.M.G.