topic Re: Mean postings in Q Talk

Mean postings

Imadickens — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 07:00:55 GMT

I may not be in the right place for this, but I'm saddened by the amount of snarky posts and/or replies I have been seeing on various Forums. We have just witnessed the slaughter of 19 children in one community, and the killing goes on. People are dying from Covid (yes, still!...my daughter is vaxed and boosted and still got seriously ill with Covid recently), and prices are out of sight. Isn't there enough misery in the world?
My father was dying and I convinced my mother she needed to get out and get something to eat. I could see how the short outing to get nutrition was helping her. An old woman came up to our table and made a rude comment because my mother sent her spinach salad back. No scene, no raised voice, she simply explained the salad still had grit in it and was inedible. What that woman did to my mother's spirits was criminal.

My point is, we never know what another person may be going through. If someone makes a comment that someone doesn't like, or agree with, what's the big deal? Unless the host is related to "you" or "you" made the product in question, politely disagree and move on. There really are more important things to do and say than to berate someone over liking a host or product. One of my favorite sayings is, "Never underestimate the power of kindness". Another saying worth remembering is, "What goes around, comes around". So true.

Re: Mean postings

BalletBabe — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 07:47:01 GMT

@Imadickens I personally think most on here are very nice. People are not thinking about the things going on in the world. You can't expect people to be different, because of things going wrong in the world. These boards are for different opinions. We will never agree with everything any poster says. The internet is a wicked place, but this board is one of the best I have been on. Like I said most people are very nice on here.

Re: Mean postings

AngelPuppy1 — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 10:29:36 GMT

@Imadickens

First off, I want to say that I am very sorry about your father. And it saddened me that your mother had the experience that she did when she went out for a little meal to try to get her mind off of things. Yes, it is sad that some people find it necessary to be rude or nasty when there is really no call for it. As for the covid situation, yes, this is so true. I hope your daughter is all better from it now. I, myself, was fully vaccinated as well and got covid and have been very sick. I finally tested negative but still m not feeling that great. When I get in a situation where I am around people who are very negative or mean or nasty, I just thank my lucky stars and am very grateful that I don't have these people in my family or in my every day life that I have to deal with all the time! I think --- oh, their poor families, friends and/or co-workers! I agree with you when you say, you never know what another person is, or may, be going through. Having empathy is a very powerful thing and goes a long way. Blessings!

Re: Mean postings

amyb — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 11:00:34 GMT

@AngelPuppy1 wrote:
@Imadickens

First off, I want to say that I am very sorry about your father. And it saddened me that your mother had the experience that she did when she went out for a little meal to try to get her mind off of things. Yes, it is sad that some people find it necessary to be rude or nasty when there is really no call for it. As for the covid situation, yes, this is so true. I hope your daughter is all better from it now. I, myself, was fully vaccinated as well and got covid and have been very sick. I finally tested negative but still m not feeling that great. When I get in a situation where I am around people who are very negative or mean or nasty, I just thank my lucky stars and am very grateful that I don't have these people in my family or in my every day life that I have to deal with all the time! I think --- oh, their poor families, friends and/or co-workers! I agree with you when you say, you never know what another person is, or may, be going through. Having empathy is a very powerful thing and goes a long way. Blessings!

Well said, and @Imadickens I too felt so sad thinking of that instance with your mom, for the same reasons @AngelPuppy1 stated. You just never know what someone is dealing with, and I'm sorry her attempt to get out and get a little reprieve wound up making her feel bad. I hope she feels more compassion out there from other sources, and I'm sorry about your dad.

I just don't engage with the negative, but sometimes it does take me aback how someone will jump down someone's throat...to me, it always says much more about them than whatever they are criticizing. Of course, everyone's entitled to say whatever, I guess...but not what I come here for so I just keep moving on.

I'm thankful I don't have the same need to be angry or negative, and hopefully they get to a better place too.

Not trying to be all high and mighty about it...just saying how I feel. I mean, I can't say I've never ever made fun of a host...there were some, in the past that used to drive me nuts...but I quit doing that a long time ago, for the most part. I thought to myself at one point, why? Ironically, I follow one of these hosts now on Instagram, think differently now and have had pleasant exchanges with this person. Live. Learn. Check myself!

But as for "fighting" with people I don't even know here? No...not for me.

I once heard a priest use this term when speaking about some of the negative, hate, bad things happening in the world...that even more so we need to "double down on love." Focus there.

I hope your mom feels the love & support of good people around her.

Re: Mean postings

FranandZoe — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 11:22:29 GMT

Maybe you should have told that old woman to mind her own business - or worse. People that rude need to be told off.

Yes there are many terrible things going on in the world today. But the everyday annoying things are still there and people like to vent - it's good to vent and very normal. And that doesn't make people "mean." It's just human nature.

When something - even minor - is irritating and ongoing and bothers a lot of people what's wrong with talking about it here?

Some people just can't take being disagreed with - a different opinion to them is "mean."

Furthermore isn't berating others for using these boards to vent rather "mean" as well?

Re: Mean postings

CalminHeart — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 11:21:14 GMT

A couple of thoughts.

People need thick skin to post on any forum. If not, stay away from forums, social media, etc.

Don't let some anonymous stranger get under your skin. It only bothers you, not them.

Don't read more into a post than is there. Someone may think a reply is snarky when it really isn't. Some people are very direct, others mush up their responses.

Different opinions are not snark. If a person wants only replies that agree, they need to find a closed group that thinks like they do.

Yes, a few posters here are snarky but the vast majority are sincere.

Re: Mean postings

Shanus — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 11:56:51 GMT

@Imadickens I've noticed Covid and recent crime has changed many people. They are anxious, afraid, short tempered and sometimes are without thinking before speaking.

Most of the time, I just go on and ignore them...especially here where snarky remarks from posters are just seeking attention. I do not reply.

Re: Mean postings

meallen616 — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 12:10:41 GMT

Re: Mean postings

LindaSal — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 13:53:51 GMT

Yes we all can use kindness in our lives. I feel for the OP but we have to remember there are a lot of different personalities that come together on here. Of course we will not all agree on many topics and I know some posters get really crazed at times but I agree with many that most people on here on nice, helpful and even funny! I come here to chat and learn from others, I am guilty of responding a few times when I felt "attacked" but you have to move on when someone is being snarky. I do make that effort. I take it most times as maybe they are not happy people in general or just having a bad day.

Re: Mean postings

reviewer from sc — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 14:34:34 GMT

You're only responsible for YOUR words and actions. You can't always help what someone else thinks of you or what someone else says. You can control how you react to that person.

Re: Mean postings

pieman — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 14:54:35 GMT

Agree,,,I would call it scolding...

Venting is one thing I understand, followed by letting us know thats what is happening, thats understandable, we/ve all been there.

I do hope all gets better for the original poster.

Re: Mean postings

manny2 — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:04:58 GMT

I agree with you @Imadickens There are some nasty posters on this board. There is no reason for it. We can disagree, and still maintain decorum.

Unfortunately you need to strap on your suit of armour to post. I don't need a button, I just ignore. I don't engage. I post around them.

I am sorry for you and your family. I hope you can find peace during this stressful time.

Re: Mean postings

Sooner — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:11:31 GMT

You can't make people do, think, say or act the way you want them to. The only thing you can do is to do unto others as you would have them behave, show them the way and exhibit kindness when possible, and carry on being an example.

It is not easy, it is not impossible, it is not what any of us always do. Forgive and hope others forgive me is the best I can do or offer.

Re: Mean postings

CAcableGirl2 — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:11:55 GMT

I just consider that it says more about them, then it does about what I'm doing.

You can always just smile and tell them "have a nice day", and move on, which to me is more of a "I don't care what you think, and you must be miserable to act that way". Too bad, some people are just negative and want to spread it around to make them feel better.

My family is going through some awful things right now too, and I send you and your Mom nothing but blessings and good thoughts.

Re: Mean postings

qbetzforreal — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:39:14 GMT

I guess in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter if hosts over share about themselves or their families, or if they overdo it with the self tanner or mispronounce words or misrepresent what size they wear.

They are not important.

Re: Mean postings

Pearlee — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:43:18 GMT

@Imadickens FYI There are moderators here who moderate what is posted on this board. It it's OK with them, then it's OK. If you don't think a post is OK within the board's terms of use, you can report it to them and they will decide about it.

Re: Mean postings

manny2 — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 15:56:10 GMT

@CAcableGirl2 wrote:
I just consider that it says more about them, then it does about what I'm doing.

You can always just smile and tell them "have a nice day", and move on, which to me is more of a "I don't care what you think, and you must be miserable to act that way". Too bad, some people are just negative and want to spread it around to make them feel better.

My family is going through some awful things right now too, and I send you and your Mom nothing but blessings and good thoughts.

@CAcableGirl2 Your post is spot on. It is more about them. That is why ignore is the best option.

I'm sorry for your family too. I am sending good thoughts your way.

Re: Mean postings

KathyM23 — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 17:19:46 GMT

There are a few posters on the forum that go beyond just venting into total bashing IMO. Their comments would be very hurtful to those receiving them. I have often wondered if they would be rude enough to actually say those things in the same way face to face to the person rather than anonymously to a screen. When all is said and done, they are people that are being bashed. It is possible to express your opinion in a constructive way rather than a nasty way. There is no need to deliberately hurt another person's feelings.

Disagreements are a totally different thing and this type of post should be welcomed as they provide a different viewpoint than your own and often can be quite helpful and informative as we all think differently and it is interesting to hear other opinions

Re: Mean postings

ciao_bella — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 18:37:06 GMT

@Imadickens I'm sorry you had to deal with someone rude and obnoxious. As far as some here being snarky and always seeming to be ready to 'pounce' on their prey, it does happen, but thankfully not as often as nice and considerate posters. For those that aren't, here's a good one just for them:

Re: Mean postings

jubilant — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 19:02:29 GMT

I'm not shocked by rude people. They are now... and always have been around. The world seems to be getting more and more of them. Most rude people I have known may come on as arrogant.... but.... I have found that "deep down in" they are.... sadly..... very insecure.