topic Re: Help me understand this! in Wellness

Help me understand this!

Abrowneyegirl — Wed, 04 May 2016 12:35:57 GMT

I work with two women who are both of poor health they are amazingly similar in age, symptoms, and issues. They both have rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia and the one has lupus.

I finally talked the one into going to work with my dietitian who helped me so much and it's about four months later and she's doing great. We are all so happy for her she is sleeping better, has less pain, more energy, looking better, and her doctors are thrilled - she is even on less medicine. The other woman was astounded with our co-workers improvements so she went to see the same dietitian.

The day after her appointment we asked her how did it go and she replied it was a great appointment and she learned a lot but she doesn't think she's going to follow the advice or the diet given to her as there are too many foods on it that she doesn't want to give up!

I was speechless.

Our co-worker almost fell off her chair!

I can not understand why someone so sick would be unwilling to do something so simple as change their diet if it could mean dramatic improvement in their health!!!

Re: Help me understand this!

morganjen — Wed, 04 May 2016 12:40:02 GMT

It's not that uncommon. A coworker (in poor health) here said "I guess I'm not sick enough" to want to do an elimination diet.

Re: Help me understand this!

hoosieroriginal — Wed, 04 May 2016 12:53:05 GMT

Maybe she likes the sympathy - some people are attention getters - whine, whine, whine - I've known people like this. Truly, I think she enjoys the attention.

Re: Help me understand this!

violann — Wed, 04 May 2016 12:53:53 GMT

I agree. Some people seem to be satisfied with making poor choices for themselves, and also underestimating the strength that is within them to make better choices.

It is shocking to me to consider how much more difficult my life was before my life changing event, and how frequently I said to others, and to myself, that I couldn't do anything about my situaion.

So graifying to have proven to myself that I COULD, and DID change!

Re: Help me understand this!

millieshops — Wed, 04 May 2016 13:19:26 GMT

I don't find it so surprising that one woman decided not to follow the dietician's advice. I think food can be as much an addiction as alcohol is. No, it doesn't have the same range of negative affects as alcohol (or tobacco), but that doesn't mean there are not addictions involved - maybe to specific foods, maybe to certain eating habits. etc.

Why one person accepts and another denies a chance to feel better - I don't really know; I'm just not surprised.

Re: Help me understand this!

eyeron — Wed, 04 May 2016 13:22:39 GMT

Food can be very addicting and hard to give up. Just like a person with terrible lung disease who still smokes. The cravings for sweets and carbs (and other foods) can be extremely strong and extremely hard to even imagine giving up- even if it means better health.

Re: Help me understand this!

GRACIE — Wed, 04 May 2016 13:22:44 GMT

Why try to understand it? There is a old saying ''you can lead a horse to water ,but you can't make him drink it'. That means you gave her the guidance to change or you lead her in the direction for change. If she chooses not to take the advise given to her,that's not your fault, it hers. You have to want to change, as her health issues continues to go down hill, maybe she will see the light, so to speak.

Re: Help me understand this!

reiki604 — Wed, 04 May 2016 13:48:10 GMT

Her life, her body, her choice. It is not up to any of us to judge what another decides to do given that they have the information needed to make an informed choice. We all make decisions and choices that others find questionable or do not agree with.

Re: Help me understand this!

PhilaLady1 — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:03:46 GMT

For me, it has always been a battle between two attitudes. Do I want to live a lifestyle that is as healthy as possible that includes all of the recommendations about food, exercise, etc.... ? Or do I live for the pleasure of the moment? As an older person with much more of my life already behind me, do I indulge in what makes me happy? I do not want to be at the end of the road regretting that I had been too restrictive and wish that I did have that ice cream when I had told myself that I better not. For me its about balance, finding a happy medium. But I really can and do understand a person that may not want to heed advice, no matter how well intentioned, and just live the way that they want to.

Re: Help me understand this!

colliegirls — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:29:03 GMT

How restrictive is the new diet?

It is all about choices. We have all seen people with lung cancer smoking a cigarette.

Re: Help me understand this!

Abrowneyegirl — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:41:42 GMT

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
Maybe she likes the sympathy - some people are attention getters - whine, whine, whine - I've known people like this. Truly, I think she enjoys the attention.

I think you are on to something.

We have noticed that now when she cries about the terrible side effects or the high $$ of her meds and people suggest maybe if you follow the diet like "Abby" you can reduce your meds too.

When she cries about her pain, or is too tired to do anything, needs to go home early and people again suggest doing something to improve the quality of her life (now that people see the transformation of Abby) that her life doe not have to be this bad

She fumes!

I guess she is looking for sympathy not help and support to feel better.

It is such a shame for a girl in her young 30's to chose to not try something that could help her.

Re: Help me understand this!

Tinkrbl44 — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:44:16 GMT

@Abrowneyegirl wrote:
I work with two women who are both of poor health they are amazingly similar in age, symptoms, and issues. They both have rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia and the one has lupus.
I finally talked the one into going to work with my dietitian who helped me so much and it's about four months later and she's doing great. We are all so happy for her she is sleeping better, has less pain, more energy, looking better, and her doctors are thrilled - she is even on less medicine. The other woman was astounded with our co-workers improvements so she went to see the same dietitian.

The day after her appointment we asked her how did it go and she replied it was a great appointment and she learned a lot but she doesn't think she's going to follow the advice or the diet given to her as there are too many foods on it that she doesn't want to give up!

I was speechless.
Our co-worker almost fell off her chair!

I can not understand why someone so sick would be unwilling to do something so simple as change their diet if it could mean dramatic improvement in their health!!!

@Abrowneyegirl

It's shocking, but not surprising .... and maybe it's been such a long time since she felt fine that she doesn't even remember how good she could feel ...

I think it's also possible that she is so worn down by sickness and pain that she wouldn't be able to muster the energy to do something ambitious .... even if it might produce great results.

If this is an ongoing conversation, perhaps you could suggest she make some of these changes in "baby steps". Maybe she'd feel less overwhelmed that way?

Re: Help me understand this!

1jenniferjuniper — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:00:24 GMT

Not every diet, pill, medication works for everyone. Chronic pain is debilitating...... Walk a mile in her shoes before you criticize.

Re: Help me understand this!

151949 — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:17:19 GMT

I can't even begin to imagine what diet would get rid of lupus, RA, fibrfomyalgia and some undisclosed additional autoimmune disease. (lupus is an autoimmune disease.) I can't comprehend what effect diets have on these disorders, other than weight loss if the person is heavy.

Re: Help me understand this!

sydsgma1 — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:23:16 GMT

I must agree with 159.. I have a severe form of rheumatoid disease and over the years I have tried, low acid, gluten free, paleo, vegan and none made a difference in my pain level. Each person is different..and Ichoose a med cocktail that usually works.

Re: Help me understand this!

MaggieMack — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:35:16 GMT

I have two dear friends that I see weekly at our service club meeting over lunch. They both have significant problems and eat the worst stuff on the buffet, while I always fill my plate from the salad bar. I have discussed things at length with them, but have given up hoping they will change. I love them anyway. They want to be healthier but are unwilling to give up their addictions, which I definitely understand. What people in the throes of food addiction don't understand is that those food cravings go away fairly quickly when your body gets good food and starts craving the good instead. It is so true about leading a horse to water. When people decide they are ready for a new and healthy paradigm for their lives, they will make that choice. And not before.

Re: Help me understand this!

ChynnaBlue — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:40:40 GMT

Because what's simple for some isn't simple for others.

What I don't understand is people who want to manage the lives of others. Maybe you could explain that for me.

Re: Help me understand this!

wilma — Wed, 04 May 2016 16:03:50 GMT

If everyone followed their doctor's orders, and did what they knew they should do, we would probably have a healthier society, but that is not the case. We all do exactly what we want to do. While some people may not understand the choices of others, it really is not our business. Some people feel they need to justify their decisions because they know others will be critical of them. None of us truly know what someone else may be dealing with in making decisions. I try to be supportive of people who are going through medical issues even if I don't agree with their choices.

Re: Help me understand this!

Trinity11 — Wed, 04 May 2016 16:11:40 GMT

@Abrowneyegirl wrote:
I work with two women who are both of poor health they are amazingly similar in age, symptoms, and issues. They both have rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia and the one has lupus.
I finally talked the one into going to work with my dietitian who helped me so much and it's about four months later and she's doing great. We are all so happy for her she is sleeping better, has less pain, more energy, looking better, and her doctors are thrilled - she is even on less medicine. The other woman was astounded with our co-workers improvements so she went to see the same dietitian.

The day after her appointment we asked her how did it go and she replied it was a great appointment and she learned a lot but she doesn't think she's going to follow the advice or the diet given to her as there are too many foods on it that she doesn't want to give up!

I was speechless.
Our co-worker almost fell off her chair!

I can not understand why someone so sick would be unwilling to do something so simple as change their diet if it could mean dramatic improvement in their health!!!

I think it speaks to the addictive nature of some of the food we eat. Amazing that anyone would give up their health to eat but it happens all the time. Our population is more than half either overweight or obese. If it was so easy to give up different foods, then we would be a nation of fit and healthy individuals.

Re: Help me understand this!

Q4u — Wed, 04 May 2016 16:26:49 GMT

@Abrowneyegirl wrote:
I work with two women who are both of poor health they are amazingly similar in age, symptoms, and issues. They both have rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia and the one has lupus.
I finally talked the one into going to work with my dietitian who helped me so much and it's about four months later and she's doing great. We are all so happy for her she is sleeping better, has less pain, more energy, looking better, and her doctors are thrilled - she is even on less medicine. The other woman was astounded with our co-workers improvements so she went to see the same dietitian.

The day after her appointment we asked her how did it go and she replied it was a great appointment and she learned a lot but she doesn't think she's going to follow the advice or the diet given to her as there are too many foods on it that she doesn't want to give up!

I was speechless.
Our co-worker almost fell off her chair!

I can not understand why someone so sick would be unwilling to do something so simple as change their diet if it could mean dramatic improvement in their health!!!

As a Diabetic.... I can say that I believe it's because she just can't and she knows it. It's not easy to change the habits of a lifetime and especially give up the foods that you love, even when you have to.

When I started this Diabetic journey I first gave up all sugars and simple carbs and counted all complex carbs. I lost 35lbs and dropped my AICs from 12 to 6.3. The next part of this journey told me that my cholesterol was too high, so I've had to give up many, many items I depended on to help me with the sugar aspect of it. THAT's actually been the hardest part! The sugar/carb thing I mastered and am ok with. Giving up real eggs, most cheeze, beef, etc. etc. has been the hardest but I'm managing.

I've had to change my entre outlook regarding food and it.is.not.easy~! But I'd rather feel good and do the things I want to than eat what I want!

And btw, I, too have an autoimmune disease (Pulmonary Sarcoidosis which is (thankfully) in total remission.

Good luck to anyone having to change a lifetime of habits~!!