topic Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands in Wellness

Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

bluejeansluvr — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:03:51 GMT

Any advice or tips ladies? I'll take anything here. How to deal with husbands and explain things so they understand what we're going through? How to be more communicative with them perhaps? How to stay sane while we deal with symptoms? Tips that have worked for you? Thank you ladies.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Desi — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:12:47 GMT

Nothing will help them "get it", short of making them wear a coat in summer followed by pouring ice-water on them. If he uses the computer, send him a link to Web Md or another site where they explain it - but it won't help. They don't understand what they don't want to.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Clover29 — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:23:19 GMT

I'm 53. My last period was in June (went from normal monthly to just stopping dead). I haven't had any other symptoms. I don't have anything to explain

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Scooby Doo — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:32:54 GMT

That's like explaining your car's malfunction to a mechanic who's never driven a car.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Annabellethecat66 — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:34:57 GMT

I took hormone pills. I have similar issues but it's caused by my Thyroid (just had the whole thing removed).

Even when I didn't have an excuse sometimes I'd feel like my head was going to explode!

My late husband would look at me and eventually he'd say, "Ok, are you finished?" I tend to go bonkers over anything/everything.

I'd look at him and start laughing. When he died on the way home from the hospital I told my girls, "You guys are going to see another side of me. Dad was the 'gate keeper'.

Now the joke is, "Dad, we need some help down here."

No man will really get it. I'm telling you, honey. You go right ahead and send him every link in the world. Number one, he'll be bored and not read it. Number two, unless his pe*n,is is put in a waffle maker, he'll never get it.

If you can find a way to use the above mentioned object (maybe a show and tell) to make him understand what your body is going through, perhaps he'll maybe (probably not) get your 'issues'.

Good luck honey and please keep us informed. I have 3 daughters (41, 39 and 34) who will be entering it. I also have 5 granddaughters. The little ones are already complaining about their brothers. See, it starts early. I'm telling you, you are working against nature if you think a male will EVER understand.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Pinkroses — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:44:55 GMT

I have no symptoms and have not had a period in 3 months. My friend has a flooding epsoide every two weeks. I hate that for her, I agree go to web md to explain it.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Tzu4u — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:56:10 GMT

Women do not talk about menopause much, except for the hot flashes. The hormones that make you a sensual woman are no longer being produced. Your ability to naturally reproduce is over. The effects of these changes are VERY hard on some women, some breeze through it.

There is not a lot of specific information about menopause. I will be 10 years into menopause in May. Still have hot flashes, intimacy is not the same, but it is better than 5 years ago.

I find it very difficult to accept that my body is no longer young.It makes me embarrassed. I keep fit and look good, but heads no longer turn when I walk into a room. It is hard to navigate not being youthful. There is a fine line between looking good at 60 and looking foolish.

You can't turn back the clock, but you can accept what is, and count your blessings, and love your husband. He still wants you to love him. He is still attracted to YOU. It's not about how you look anymore. Don't forget that. Took me 5-6 years to figure out how important that his attraction to me is. I don't know how long until one of us will be gone, and I am not going to spend my days being miserable or worrying about the past.

Bless you and I hope this made sense.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

poshmini — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 04:02:17 GMT

I guess I am blessed to have a husband to truly understand what I am going through. We have a lot of talks about things and one is going through menopause. While I have a bit of the hot flashes, I do experience mood swings at times as well. I guess open communication works best for me, he realizes it's just a stage in life we women have to go through. I feel as he does, that men seem to go through a stage in their lives as well. We've been married 36 years and we've been through a lot, I think just keeping them informed of how we feel while going through this change in our lives keeps us closer in touch with our feelings for one another.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Zoologist_1 — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 05:37:12 GMT

I was slammed into menopause way too early when our fertility clinic messed up my shot protocol and basically fried my ovaries. Within a month, I was into full-blown meno .... breasts deflated, mood swings, night sweats, hot flashes, zero more Aunt Flo.

Thankfully, my dh was always an angel, but it didn't hurt that he was also a pharmacist and even thru that mess was more than understanding.

Good thing, because we went on to do IVF via donor eggs, and just as soon as I gave birth to our next baby - BAM! All of the menopause symptoms started again immediately for another year.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Donnalona — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 05:53:17 GMT

So well said Wadzlla! You nailed it!

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

m2p — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 06:10:07 GMT

I knew a man that received hormone therapy for prostate cancer. He started getting hot flashes and finally told us, he got it.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

debcakes — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 07:01:13 GMT

On 1/1/2015 Clover29 said:
I'm 53. My last period was in June (went from normal monthly to just stopping dead). I haven't had any other symptoms. I don't have anything to explain

Same here. No symptoms and I am 10 yrs. older. I have known some people who really suffered.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

lucylover64 — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 07:37:36 GMT

I just turned 50 and believe am experiencing a few small symptoms.....my DH "scoffs" at times and uses humor when I complain or make comments about menopause lurking in my near future. Does he just think I make this stuff up?! LOL! He just doesn't get it. Or....sometimes he gets that deer in the headlights look, sort of like he want to run far, far away!

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

FranandZoe — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 09:23:24 GMT

I remember sitting in a restaurant - sweat pouring off of my face and back of my neck - and my darling husband telling me it was my imagination. No they do not get it. A$$holes. How to deal - read 'em the riot act.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Bestdressed — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 09:29:50 GMT

On 1/2/2015 Frannie said:
I remember sitting in a restaurant - sweat pouring off of my face and back of my neck - and my darling husband telling me it was my imagination. No they do not get it. A$$holes. How to deal - read 'em the riot act.

I am sorry but your comment made me laugh. Menopause is no laughing matter..you are right some men will never get it!

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Azcowgirl — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 10:38:42 GMT

It's the Pitts I tell you, I just went through surgery to have uterine fibroids removed, maybe because of estrogen from taking hormones.... I don't know. I know this, I can't stop taking estrogen and go back to night sweats, lousy sleep, drenching hot flashes, and all that jazz. DH tries to be sympathetic but he doesn't get it.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

IEscapedLosAngeles — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 12:49:09 GMT

I just bluntly tell him Its like going through PMS all month. Not something drastically controllable that a pill will completely handle. I tell him when its over we'll both feel better trust me but to hang in there with me and continue to have patience. So far so good. Its amazing what the truth will do. Also, when I feel myself too hormonal I do retreat to a degree to not say or do anything too unpleasant in a snap of hormonal behavior.

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

AngelPuppy1 — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 13:20:20 GMT

If you have an understanding husband, then you are blessed. I had a horrible time every month before I went into meno. I always felt horrible -- so sick --- headache, sick to my stomach, weak, bad pain, hurt all over, tired ---- so, my husband knew that when this happened, he had to give me a wide berth!

So, of course, I did not go into meno easily either. Peri-meno was horrible also. I have had terrible hot flashes, headaches, mush for brain, irritability, etc., etc., and now about 8 years later still suffer from many of these symptoms. They have lessened but not enough!

My husband tries to understand, but I know he can't really comprehend the full extent of it and how much it really affects a woman. He probably thinks I am exaggerating but in fact, I try to down play it as much as possible.

Show him well written articles and ask him to read them. I mean, you have good reasons for feeling the way you do.

Hopefully, he will try and get it as much as men can really get it!!! Best of luck!!!

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

ID2 — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 13:47:21 GMT

Now that I'm in menopause I am totally unsymptomatic. I used to be much more moody and obstinate while having my monthlys. My dh is delighted that those monthly mood swings are long gone... never to return! ChaChing for menopause!!

Re: Tips on dealing with MENOPAUSE and husbands

Vivian — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 14:28:02 GMT

My husband tried to be understanding but did not get the full import of what I was going through. I was fortunate that I didn't have the mood swings or forgetfulness but the hot flashes were bad. I worked as a university advisor for over 30 years in upstate NY. The hot flashes were driving me nuts one freezing February day so I opened the window. A male student walked into my office and asked me why I had the window open on such a cold day. My response..."Ask your mother." My assistant almost fell off her chair, she was laughing that much.