topic Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!! in Wellness

QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Mon, 04 Aug 2014 18:53:09 GMT

I thanked QVC via email to their email reply that they reconsidered and decided this delayed grief thread should be reopened as many need help and understanding from others who have already posted on that thread.

As long as I am at home and not traveling abroad I will check it daily and reply as needed, but in my absence if my friends who I also helped on that thread could please also find a few seconds to just check the thread, and reply to anyone needing a response

I hope this Delayed Grief Thread again proves to be invaluable to those who are grieving, and may you all find comfort, acceptance, wisdom, and solace, from reading all the replies.

The information already posted really makes the difference in any grief journey.......especially the post I posted for the 5 steps of grief and what to expect.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 22:38:40 GMT

I also posted this information on the other grief thread but that reply is all the way in the back of the thread....I want to ensure this is read should anyone need grief support.

I kept checking the delayed grief thread to see if there have been any grieving visitor's, and do not know if I should feel relieved that no one has visited yet.

I do hope at this point in time no one is grieving and needs support....but somehow I find that to be impractical considering how many thousands of QVC participants there are on the bb's, both as guests and members.

Regardless I hope this delayed grief thread will remain active if someone really needs it, but if no one visits I am sure it will eventually close again, and even though QVC said I should contact them again to reopen it I probably will not. That thought that would make me so sad again, because this month is the 3rd year I lost my beloved husband of 45 years and 2 weeks to the day my beloved Mother also died.

They were both unexpected swift deaths and I never had the chance to say goodbye, until we meet again in Heaven, I love you.....I never had any closure.......just this big jumbo hole my heart, and that hole will always remain.

My point is I hope this thread does not close again due to inactivity this time.

I know in my heart others will eventually need it for all the experiences and wisdom so many of us have provided in all of our replies, to our own personal grief journeys as noted herein, and the wisdom we learned along the way as well as all the great QVC friends we encountered.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

Big Sister — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 09:56:28 GMT

Adore, good to hear from you and I will check in here frequently to see how everyone is doing.

What you just wrote: "They were both unexpected swift deaths and I never had the chance to say goodbye...." That's what is so difficult to get over. I don't think we get over the deaths, but we have to learn to adjust to them.

That's how I feel about my little sister's unexpected death when she died in my home in her sleep, one year ago. Oh, to just have one more hour with her to say goodbye......

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 12:21:38 GMT

Hello biigsister,

ITA........Oh how I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you big hugs.

We have come a very, very long way on our grief journey's haven't we?

Thanks so much for checking this thread. I just hope it helps others as it really helped us, and hope it remains active.

I know how you feel.....I wish I could have all of them, back even if only for a second, wouldn't that be great!!!

You know I always felt that when the exited into that open door and were taken to Heaven all their earthly suffering ended, but that is when ours began.

The pain, the guilt, the loneliness, the abandonment, all of these emotions take a toll on those left behind. I believe not having closure with them is also a great pain that never subsides. (When a person loses all their immediate family and relatives it is very difficult to want to even try to go on....but we must, and we pray for the strength to continue to do God's earthly work.

As time and years pass yes we go on, but it does not mean we forgot or it has become easier for us.....We will never forget, and at times it still is not easier for us.

It signifys that we have hope. There is that saying and belief "Where there is life there is hope". We at least have hope bigsister. Through our religious beliefs in Jesus Christ, we will also enter Heaven, and be reunited with those we loved who just went a little ahead of us. They are smiling down and waiting patiently........after all Heaven is eternal and Father Time does not reside there.

Now every year as August approaches I become more sad as their anniversary approaches. Same with every holiday.......but as they say dear friend, life marches on and that blasted Father time does not slow down for anyone, or anything.

Still even getting remarried can not take away the sadness I feel for losing them all, and I truly love Philip, but they will always have a place in my mind, heart, and spirit.

This is a very sad month for me my friend.....but alas this too shall come and then the holiday rush begin....that is when I will be reading my Bible even more for wisdom and even more understanding and comfort.

Take good care bigsister and please know wherever my footsteps take me you will always remain in my heart....

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

lobstergal — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 20:20:58 GMT

Mine is not delayed grief as I've been grieving nonstop since my husband died unexpectedly in December. It's an unbearable pain that I know will never go away.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

Big Sister — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 00:23:18 GMT

On 8/10/2014 adoreqvc said:

Hello biigsister,

ITA........Oh how I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you big hugs.

We have come a very, very long way on our grief journey's haven't we?

Thanks so much for checking this thread. I just hope it helps others as it really helped us, and hope it remains active.

I know how you feel.....I wish I could have all of them, back even if only for a second, wouldn't that be great!!!

You know I always felt that when the exited into that open door and were taken to Heaven all their earthly suffering ended, but that is when ours began.

The pain, the guilt, the loneliness, the abandonment, all of these emotions take a toll on those left behind. I believe not having closure with them is also a great pain that never subsides. (When a person loses all their immediate family and relatives it is very difficult to want to even try to go on....but we must, and we pray for the strength to continue to do God's earthly work.

As time and years pass yes we go on, but it does not mean we forgot or it has become easier for us.....We will never forget, and at times it still is not easier for us.

It signifys that we have hope. There is that saying and belief "Where there is life there is hope". We at least have hope bigsister. Through our religious beliefs in Jesus Christ, we will also enter Heaven, and be reunited with those we loved who just went a little ahead of us. They are smiling down and waiting patiently........after all Heaven is eternal and Father Time does not reside there.

Now every year as August approaches I become more sad as their anniversary approaches. Same with every holiday.......but as they say dear friend, life marches on and that blasted Father time does not slow down for anyone, or anything.

Still even getting remarried can not take away the sadness I feel for losing them all, and I truly love Philip, but they will always have a place in my mind, heart, and spirit.

This is a very sad month for me my friend.....but alas this too shall come and then the holiday rush begin....that is when I will be reading my Bible even more for wisdom and even more understanding and comfort.

Take good care bigsister and please know wherever my footsteps take me you will always remain in my heart....

adore, once again, thank you for reaching out to me. I believe you and Philip truly love each other and you are on a new, happy journey. I also know that there is also a continuing sadness just under the surface, but its focus becomes dimmer, not extinguished, but dimmer. I send my love to you and Philip.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

Big Sister — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 00:31:03 GMT

On 8/10/2014 lobstergal said:
Mine is not delayed grief as I've been grieving nonstop since my husband died unexpectedly in December. It's an unbearable pain that I know will never go away.

lobstergal, your grief is so new and raw and I feel the pain you are in. The unexpected death of your DH is what makes your grief so intense. There are just too many things we have to bear, i.e. "I wish I had," "I should have," "If only." The sadness and disbelief are always there. You just can't believe he is gone; it's not real. I believe that the "unbearable pain" you feel every minute of every day will become less unbearable as time goes on.

I am so sorry for your loss but I am glad you opened up to us here.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

Oneanddone — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 01:10:14 GMT

I don't know what "delayed" grief is.

In 2006 I had a marriage of 20 years end and then I lost my whole family seven months later. I was 46 years old and left completely alone.

There was no delay in my grief.

It all hit me like a ton of bricks.

I think a very tall well constructed building falling on me would have been less painful.

I tried my best to stay strong but I ended up in the hospital two years later with a nervous breakdown.

Now I take Ativan every morning. I don't like that I have to take it, but I have to take it.

It balances out my brain because after all of the loss, my brain took a big hit.

I've since put the shattered pieces of my life together as best I can and I am still working on it and I am doing better than I ever thought I would.

But there are those days.

And the grief doesn't delay, it's there and it always will be.

Some grief lessens as time goes on, some doesn't.

Everyone handles grief differently.

Just pray, reach out for help when you need it...and you know when you need it...do the very best you can and take care of yourself.

Remember, you still have a life to live.

A life and a gift that God gave you.

He doesn't want you to give up, so don't give up.

Recognize your grief, cry when you need to, accept the bad days just as they are and know tomorrow is another day.

A brand new day, a new day to heal a little more. Even if you don't feel it, just look at it that way.

Also, don't ever forget, your loved ones who are not on this Earth anymore, love you.

They are always with you in your heart. You carry them in your heart every single day and night.

You grieve the loss because you love them and always will.

And what is better than love?

Nothing as far as I know.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 01:38:58 GMT

Hi Lobstergal,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear husband.

Please if you have not already do go to the beginning of the delayed grief thread and read the replies.

Many offer insight as to what to expect during the grief journey. Others offer real miracles they have read about which were published, as well as real life miracles they also personally witnessed along with others in the room.

The help and support system displayed in the delayed grief thread is miraculous. On that thread and everyone tries to support each other with understanding, compassion, kindness, wisdom, and a humane love for others, knowing they too share in the grief journey.

Even though this is the 3rd year anniversary for my Beloved Mother & Husband it is not ever easy....None of the holidays are.

Those who lost loved ones will always look at those places which held their plates and recall the shared laughter, joy, wisdom, and tears, all of us shared and our hearts and spirits still weep with loss.

Nothing and no one can ever replace them even though life does go on, and perhaps we also must move on, but the truth is for me I know I can never forget my first love, my first kiss, my first everything.........and that was with my husband of 45 years. Now I am building a new life with my new husband, but I will never forget my departed husband.

As for my beloved Mom yes she is gone but while she was here I had the best most wise loving kindest Mother and felt very blessed, as did my husband who also adored her....now it is as if I can still feel her watching over me at times.

This month she has come to me in my dreams more so than ever before....perhaps she knows August is the moth I lost her and my husband, and so she comes in my dreams to offer her comfort, and I recall the dream quite well when I awaken. It does comfort me.

I lost everyone and relatives too.....being an orphaned sole survivor is not fun...but I do believe when one door closes another opens for the departed and for the survivors.

We just have to have a belief system in a higher Creator who knows what is in store for us all, and believe that we will again see our loved ones when it is our time to travel into that Heavenly plane of eternal life and spiritual existence.

Lobstergal I always said take small steps and if you need to cry......cry.....no need to explain. We are humans and feel the loss and pain deep within our spirits so understand the process and eventually it hopefully will become a bit easier to bare....We all need to remember they are now pain free in a wonderful place as younger people without the burden of the outer shell of our earthly vessels. A place filled with religious love, loving angelic spirits that bring joy, and everyone reunited with their clan, pets & friends....now that is a glorious vision and one I do not fear to eventually become part of with God's Grace.

Tale good care Lobstergal.....and remember small steps lead to larger steps filled with never ending strength and wisdom.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 01:42:45 GMT

Dear bigsister,

ITA dimmer is perhaps a wonderful word to use....gone but never forgotten...we will never forget them........ and yet life does go on.

God Bless and keep you too dear friend, and please know I am a better person for having you in my life bigsister.

"Phillip and I both thank you for your kind words from the depths of our hearts".

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 01:55:40 GMT

Dear Oneanddone,

I have paged you a few times when I returned from my travels abroad, but you never replied.

I am relieved to see posting on this thread now.

I recall your heartache and the pain you felt during your time spent with us on the delayed grief thread.

Father Time marches on.... and so we must all do the same.

Yes our loved ones are in a better more joyous pain free eternal place, up there past the fluffy white clouds is the Heavenly Realm of God's Kingdom.

A miraculous place, and I read it holds many mansions.

That is where true peace exists, and it is a non stop everlasting joyous loving eternal life existence, which our souls seek when our earthly vessels are laid to rest.

Those thoughts comfort me, as I am sure they also comfort you and others.

I have remarried to a very nice kind caring man named Phillip.

I never expected to remarry but we met and what brought us together was being on the same cruise.

We enjoyed many different cuisines along the Mediterranean, and sharing the same cooking passions and religious beliefs, along with many commonalities of other interests as well. we believe drew us together.

I read you also married your GG. Congratulations to the both of you!!!

Oneanddone.....see now you are two and not one really Oneanddone anymore.....and that is a good thing dear friend.

Take good care Oneanddone and hug the kitty for me and Mr. GG too......and here are many hugs for you straight from my heart to yours.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

lobstergal — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 02:28:36 GMT

Thank you all for your kind words.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

AuntG — Sun, 07 Sep 2014 12:26:48 GMT

On 8/10/2014 lobstergal said:
Mine is not delayed grief as I've been grieving nonstop since my husband died unexpectedly in December. It's an unbearable pain that I know will never go away.

I hope it does lessen with time. There are so many thoughtful posters whose comments I just read on this thread. The posts that make me think the most come from people who speak from experience.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Sun, 07 Sep 2014 22:29:35 GMT

You are correct in your assumption AuntG......those who have experienced their very painful grief journeys also share their experiences, and in that way truly help others entering, or continuing in their grief journey.

lobstergal please know that the pain WILL eventually lessen with time.

The memories remain, as they are cherished gifts........but that constant pain and lonliness that engulfs us, and robs our ability to breath, as that ever familiar raging tsunami of tears races from sad red eyes day after day, and night after night, will with time eventually cease.

In its place will be acceptance of what we cannot change, along with the wisdom to continue to cherish what we have shared in the past, with all our departed loved ones. (If you read the entire thread you will see the first post I contributed was the 5 steps of grief information, and that is what everyone who enters a grief journey encounters).

It is those memories filled with love, laughter, photographs, and video's which will constantly sustain us as they are also part of the past, part of the times shared, and built into our memories. No one can take those precious gifts from us and in that way we are truly blessed.

When we begin our own journeys through that other door which opens when our earthly life here ends, then the only thing we take with us is our love for those we leave behind, and our own lifetime of memories to sustain us into the next realm.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

violann — Mon, 08 Sep 2014 14:16:56 GMT

Dear ones, this may have been mentioned previously, but I'm having one of my "bad mornings" (I think you all know.....) Anyway, are sudden losses always worse? My latest was relatively well at the beginning of March and died April 7. I'm still feeling absolutely blind sided. Just can't seem to move forward yet. I think of you all and hope we will all soon start progressing forward, however slowly.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc — Mon, 08 Sep 2014 14:42:53 GMT

Dear violann,

I am so sorry to read this!

Sudden losses are always the hardest to deal with because they are out of the blue and unexpected.

As the saying goes here today, gone tomorrow.

That is what I experienced losing my husband and mother 2 weeks apart.

violann at least if a person is very ill we are perhaps at times some what prepared that anything can happen, but on the other hand many times we are not because we always hope they will get better.

The grief journey is different for everyone. Remember there are the 5 steps of grief and we all go through each one.

Speak with your Priest, and I know you will feel better. The Church is there so reach out to them.

If you are finding it very difficult see your physician and perhaps meds will also help you cope a bit better.

Talking with a group therapy grief counselor definitely helps, and many organizations offer grief counseling at no charge. Your area hospital may offer those sessions, or your Church, or you can even have those benefits in your healthcare plan, so please do check. Group therapy sessions also help as people grieving meet and speak about their feelings and losses, so you never feel quite so alone in your grief journey.

Look at the delayed grief thread and read about the 5 steps of grief which I posted as the first reply on page one I believe.

violann please accept my deepest condolences for your loss, and know your loved one is in Heaven now enjoying everlasting life, and hopefully that will be a blessings for them and a great comfort to you.

I always felt when their suffering ends, ours begins, and it does but on Earth that is the order of things when we must learn to deal with losing those we love and care about.

Please keep me updated as to how you are dear friend, and please also know that I will hold you in my daily prayers.

God Bless, take good care violann, and as they say in Greek.... Life to you....

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

violann — Tue, 09 Sep 2014 22:06:41 GMT

adoreqvc, you are very special. I rarely speak of her, and Thank God you were there to hear me. This morning was actually better, and I have to keep reminding myself that in the scheme of things, any bad day can be followed by a better one. lobstergal and oneanddone and bigsister, I am thinking of you and hoping that your tomorrow will be at least a little better than yesterday. Sent with hopes and caring thoughts.........

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

lulu2 — Tue, 09 Sep 2014 22:43:23 GMT

On 9/8/2014 violann said: Dear ones, this may have been mentioned previously, but I'm having one of my "bad mornings" (I think you all know.....) Anyway, are sudden losses always worse? My latest was relatively well at the beginning of March and died April 7. I'm still feeling absolutely blind sided. Just can't seem to move forward yet. I think of you all and hope we will all soon start progressing forward, however slowly.

There is no easy answer to that question. We hate to see our loved ones suffer so there are times we welcome their death. When a loved one leaves us suddenly, we feel cheated we were not given a chance to say good bye.

In July we had a 4 generation family trip to Ireland. The flight over I sat next to my 90 year old father. The second day there he died in his sleep. I brought him home in my carry-on. We should all be so lucky to live to be 90 with few bouts of sickness. That does not make my grief any easier to bear.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

Lipstickdiva — Wed, 10 Sep 2014 17:17:07 GMT

On 9/9/2014 lulu2 said:
On 9/8/2014 violann said: Dear ones, this may have been mentioned previously, but I'm having one of my "bad mornings" (I think you all know.....) Anyway, are sudden losses always worse? My latest was relatively well at the beginning of March and died April 7. I'm still feeling absolutely blind sided. Just can't seem to move forward yet. I think of you all and hope we will all soon start progressing forward, however slowly.

There is no easy answer to that question. We hate to see our loved ones suffer so there are times we welcome their death. When a loved one leaves us suddenly, we feel cheated we were not given a chance to say good bye.

In July we had a 4 generation family trip to Ireland. The flight over I sat next to my 90 year old father. The second day there he died in his sleep. I brought him home in my carry-on. We should all be so lucky to live to be 90 with few bouts of sickness. That does not make my grief any easier to bear.

lulu, this is just awful. I'm very sorry.

I recently lost an aunt who was like a second mother to me. She too was 90. She was fairly recently diagnosed with cancer and had a myriad of other health issues. So while she was suffering greatly at the end and we didn't want her to suffer anymore, it was still a very hard loss.

Re: QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

Rottie_mama — Thu, 11 Sep 2014 18:15:13 GMT

Can I say this.

My best friend committed suicide a week ago. A woman who hated heights jumped out of a window. She was my best friend since college. My family thought of her as one of ours.

I have no answers. She was a NYC gal. I lived in So. Cal. and now Florida. I regret not dragging her out of that city and forcing her in to therapy.

It is surreal not being able to pick up the phone and chat, text a joke, or send a picture. How do you fill a void after 20+ years. I have experienced loss, it is part of my profession. It is the intentional act that bewilders and confounds me.

Does anyone ever figure it out? What did I miss?