topic Re: Can I practice on you? in Wellness

Can I practice on you?

CalminHeart — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 13:24:41 GMT

I need to tell my family something and would like to practice on you. I'll find a nicer way to say it to them but here goes.

I was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's, my worst nightmare. I'm at the very beginning so have a long ways to go before I am unable to live on my own.

I have a great specialist who is kind and an expert in the field of dementia and alzheimer's. I go back this week for the 'what's next' conversation.

There are a lot of treatments available from medicine to infusions. I want whatever I can get to help keep it from getting bad.

I don't need advice. I don't want jokes (at least, not yet). I don't need others to run my life (yet). Don't be afraid of me. Don't avoid me.

I do need support, people to talk to about my fears, people to walk this journey with me. I need hugs, compassion, empathy, not pity. I need my kids and family like never before. I want to be loved like I always have been. Don't forget me when the disease takes over my brain. I will feel them in my soul when they visit even if I can't remember or respond or remember.

------

Stress is a huge detriment to this disease and it's been over the top since I found out. I am sure I'll do better once I see my dr this week and we can plan treatment.

I've been praying a lot. I'm Catholic and the first thing I did was call my priest to receive 2 Sacraments - Confession and Annointing of the Sick. The Eucharist takes on an even more sacred meaning.

I'm begging God to not make me go through this but His will be done.

I had my Will, medical & financial POAs, and Living Will redone early this year so they're set. I've also written a lot of notes for my kids and paid for my interment, urn, etc.

Something that made me chuckle - I quit smoking in 1981. I've always joked I'd start again if I found out I was terminal. I can't because smoking can make Alzheimer's worse.

Re: Can I practice on you?

goldensrbest — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 13:40:42 GMT

I am not quite sure about your post, if this is what you have been told,i am truly so sorry you have received this diagnosis, you have to do what you know is best for you.

Re: Can I practice on you?

Dusty1 — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 13:34:06 GMT

@CalminHeart You sound like a very strong person & you have done the best to prepare your life for wherever it takes you.

I think that the way you have explained your needs is perfect & well thought out.

I hope your family & friends accept your needs as you have stated them.

There is no way to know how this progesses & you have life to live!

Your family will follow your lead.

Re: Can I practice on you?

grandma2pkmh — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 13:34:37 GMT

@CalminHeart You sound like a wonderful lady and you wrote a great post. I would print your post and make as many copies as needed and hand it to your loved ones. When speaking to anyone regarding a personal illness we sometimes become emotional and also get interrupted and forget to convey things.

Best wishes to you in the future.

Re: Can I practice on you?

haddon9 — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 13:46:21 GMT

@CalminHeart I may not always agree with your point of view but on this you have my support. I am so sorry for your diagnosis and hope and pray that you are able to stay cognizant for as long as possible.

As another poster mentioned, printing out your message I think is an excellent idea. You have spent time collecting your thoughts on this and when you need to share this information with family things could get emotional. You could say that this is going to be hard but you need to let them know something important and either read your remarks to them or print them out.

I wish you the best.

Re: Can I practice on you?

freakygirl — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 13:55:53 GMT

i’m sure when it’s time to tell your family, whatever is in your heart will be the right thing to say at the moment. if they know you well and are used to you and your ways, they will understand where you’re coming from. good luck nevertheless. i will keep you in my thought and prayers and hope for the best outcome. you can do this

Re: Can I practice on you?

DSD2 — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 14:03:51 GMT

@CalminHeart My dear lady...

You said everything so eloquently, there is little to add.

I agree that printing out your heartfelt, beautifully written missive is the first thing you should do as @grandma2pkmh suggested.

Talk to your family as you have spoken to us.You will be surrounded by love, caring and unwavering support by those you love and who love you.Continue to live your life fully and savor every precious moment; you are in the here and now, not the future. We never know what is to come, life is fragile, precious and fleeting.

I wish you strength, courage but most of all I wish you hope. Sometimes it is all we have but sometimes it is enough.

As a Catholic, my faith has sustained me in many a dark day. In the end, it is He who will watch over you and will guide you through.

Offering you prayers and staunch support.

Re: Can I practice on you?

ThinkingOutLoud — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 18:09:03 GMT

First, I'm so sorry you're facing this.

Second, you're contradicting yourself. In one paragraph you say you "want whatever you can get to keep it from getting bad" but the very next sentence is that you "don't need advice". Your family may be confused about what you really want. To explain, I know someone who's been diagnosed with early onset dimentia (not a genetic cause) and I know 3 easy things that will drastically help and relayed that info and can only hope my advice to keep it from getting worse is being followed.

{Hugs}

Re: Can I practice on you?

jubilant — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 14:08:39 GMT

@CalminHeart You have my full support. I am and will be praying for you. My stroke 2 yrs. ago left me with significant short term memory problems.

Even though I don't have your diagnosis...I have felt some of what you are feeling now. Your faith seems to be holding you up as mine does. I know God will give you the right words to tell your family. Your practice post here sounded "pretty darn good" to me!

Re: Can I practice on you?

geezerette — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 14:09:13 GMT

@CalminHeart

First, I'm truly sorry to hear this. I think for most of us that diagnosis would be one of our worst fears so you are not alone in feeling that.

I think telling your family what you have said here is a good way to start the conversation. You are a strong, practical, and intelligent woman and if there is any good about this it is that you have a diagnosis early in the disease while you can still prepare for the possible consequences as much as can be done. In the end, who knows what will happen? Maybe it won't turn out as bad as what is most likely going through your mind right now.

At any rate, things will change as time goes on and since you seem to be close to your family, I'm sure you all will be able to work with the changes. Thanks to the advances in technology we have today, you and your family can continue to share the "you" you are now for a long time.

God Bless. 🧡

Re: Can I practice on you?

kaydee50 — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 14:28:44 GMT

@CalminHeart I'm am so sorry to hear this. You are one of the few posters that I enjoy reading.

I too am a Catholic and will say a prayer for you. A good friend's husband was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. They are taking it one day at a time. It is a slowly progressing disease.

I wish you strength and peace and do hope you keep posting. God bless you.

Re: Can I practice on you?

Sooner — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 15:27:37 GMT

@CalminHeart My heart goes out to you. We have been through this with a number of relatives, parents, aunts and uncles.

First of all, the docs are good, but don't take it as gospel in that your situation will be different from anyone else's! That's because it is God's plan for you, and faith is the best medicine.

Take it a day at a time, because God's plan is usually full of surprises to get you and your soul to where you belong at the end--home with him. It may be a long journey, and I hope for you it will be a warm and peaceful one! I have witnessed that and it can happen!

Re: Can I practice on you?

hopi — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 15:30:40 GMT

Dear kind, friendly, sweet @CalminHeart your practice is perfect. God will get you through this. Prayers for you. Everybody's journey is different so stay positive,strong and focused as you are right now. God Bless you.

Re: Can I practice on you?

on the bay — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 16:38:47 GMT

@CalminHeart,

I hope your whole family hugs you and surrounds you with love after you read or tell them. I thought your post was so well written and said everything you need to say. It never has to be perfect because life certainly isn't.

One thing a close neighbor friend did who had either dementia or Alzheimer's that I will never forget,

is she wrote me a card saying how she wanted to let me know and to say goodbye while she could. I thought that was such a loving, brave, and wise thing to do.

I hope all of your coming journey goes the best it can possibly be and that you will feel loved every step of the way.

And may God hold you always in the palm of his hand!

Re: Can I practice on you?

hayseed00 — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 16:16:50 GMT

@CalminHeart Your post made me cry, I can't imagine the faith and strength you are needing for this journey. May the Good Lord hold you tight in his arms.

Re: Can I practice on you?

wagirl — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 16:28:46 GMT

OP---sounds like you are totally in the drivers seat with this--I commend you for that. I am very sorry for all this but am encouraged that it is still very early and who knows what kind of treatment could happen that will do something to manage this. Telling your family is very important and being prepared for what they will likely go thru is too. I believe finding out as much information as possible is key. Having a few people to help bounce things off without any drama is key too. Stress is a nasty beast and that is what needs to be addressed one way or the other. I went thru stage 3 lobular breast cancer 13 years ago. I didn't have good family/friend support so had to do most of all that on my own. I did have 1 friend I could go too, but mostly was on my own as far as decisions and treatments and the stress and day to day living was concerned--my then spouse was useless as te@ts on a boar-- But I am still here. Have to say, I am not a religious person so that is not a thing for me. Having my affairs in order is something I still need to do-----reach out to your family when you can actually tell them that you have a plan and are comfortable with it. It will be hard on them but that is something they will have to adjust to. Try not to put anymore on your shoulders. I found there were many offerings for cancer patients at the hospital I dealt with--- that might be helpful for you.There is online therapy too, which is a great way to help with stress. Once again, so very sorry.

Re: Can I practice on you?

KailaS — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 16:41:26 GMT

@CalminHeart

I am sorry for your diagnosis. Alzheimer's runs in my family, and I buried my mom, cared for in her home, less than two years ago. She was almost 98. I remember praying a few years ago that I not have to deal with the disease myself. Right now, I am losing my vision, something that also ran in mom's family for as far back as I could trace. Oh well. I never included blindness in my prayers.

You seem calmer than I am right now, and I am sure there are good and bad moments.

That you have family, may be a great blessing. If they know and love you, they should understand your message. In some ways, it may be harder for them to hear right now, than it is for you to deliver.

I wish you peace and strength moving forward in this journey.

Re: Can I practice on you?

DSD2 — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 17:00:39 GMT

@on the bay wrote:
@CalminHeart,
I hope your whole family hugs you and surrounds you with love after you read or tell them. I thought your post was so well written and said everything you need to say. It never has to be perfect because life certainly isn't.

One thing a close neighbor friend did who had either dementia or Alzheimer's that I will never forget,
is she wrote me a card saying how she wanted to let me know and to say goodbye while she could. I thought that was such a loving, brave, and wise thing to do.

I hope all of your coming journey goes the best it can possibly be and that you will feel loved every step of the way.
And may God hold you always in the palm of his hand!

"I hope all of your coming journey goes the best it can possibly be and that you will feel loved every step of the way.

And may God hold you always in the palm of his hand!" was just lovely @on the bay

Beautifully phrased.

Re: Can I practice on you?

GingerHead — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 21:18:26 GMT

@CalminHeart

This really saddens me to read, no one wants a diagnosis such as that.

Just realize and I think you do that NOTHING is written in stone in this day and age.

Things like this really hit home that we never know what others are dealing with in their real lives so we should try our hardest to be kind to one another and you've always been kind to me here and I thank you for that.

I also agree with just letting your family and friends know exactly what you wrote here. It was very well written, concise and to the point.

edited: I do remember you talking about your diagnosis before in My homebody thread (I think that's where... I just didn't want you to think I forgot.)

Re: Can I practice on you?

PA Mom-mom — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 18:15:17 GMT

@CalminHeart My brother got the same diagnosis this week. He is also in the early stages and will be looking into possible treatments. He sent a text to us - his siblings - saying just that, and only that. I wanted to reach through the phone and give him a hug, but that just isn't his way. I told him I'd be praying for him every day, and I do.

You sound like you have thought this through, and I know you will be able to tell your family in the same way you have conveyed it to us. You've got your life in order, and now you just have to see what God has in store for you as you explore the options.

Prayer is so important! Pray with others or by yourself. I like to go outside to listen to the Bible and pray, and I also like to do it in the quite of the morning with a cup of coffee. Don't stop praying. It gives you peace and strength.