topic Re: Would you ever in Wellness

Would you ever

Jo1313 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:25:33 GMT

Report a doctor to the head of their department

for treating you as if you were stupid?

Re: Would you ever

KingstonMom — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:30:42 GMT

No, I wouldn't. I think Dr.s must assume you know nothing about a particular ailment/treatment, with so many these days resorting to the internet for their 'medical knowledge'.

I would want my Dr. to assume I'm stupid and tell me everything I need to know!

Re: Would you ever

ahoymate — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:30:43 GMT

No, change MD's.

Re: Would you ever

Desertdi — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:31:58 GMT

I'm mulling it over. My dentist's new hygienist treats me like I'm deaf and senile....sorta speaks loud "baby talk" to me.

Since I've been a patient there for over 20 years, I seriously think I should say something....

Re: Would you ever

jlkz — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:33:00 GMT

@Jo1313

Before I would report him / her, I would confront the doctor directly on his/ her treatment of you. Did the doctor realize that this was how their behavior came across ?

Then I would restate why you made the comment or question put to the doctor. Do you understand why I made the comment or asked the question.... Etc.

Only then would I report the doctor. If the doctor is a specialist and the "best" in that specialty, you may want to rethink your options.

Re: Would you ever

Trinity11 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:33:23 GMT

@Jo1313 wrote:
Report a doctor to the head of their department
for treating you as if you were stupid?

Yes and I have. After a second heart attack I had a cardiologist who consistently disparaged me because my cholesterol was not perfect. He wanted unrealistic numbers and constantly chastised me for eating too little. One day he brought me close to tears so I went over his head to the head of the group and head of the hospital cardiac unit. He was wonderful and set me up with a kind doctor who is the very best. BTW, he also treated Susan Lucci when she had her heart attacks. The man is a life saver and I cannot say enough about him.

Re: Would you ever

chrystaltree — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:34:31 GMT

It depends on what he said to me. Many doctors, especially older ones, can be short and snippy to patients and everyone else. I worked in healthcare for 40 years. If I had a dollar for every doctor who talked down to me, I'd be wealthy today. But I would never accept demeaning, insulting or bullying. It was actually a doctor who told me that when first started working. If you feel you have cause to complain, I would not go to the department head. I'd lodge a written complaint with the president of the hospital and with the director of human resources. Don't get overly emotional. Don't write a novel. Just explain the circumstances and what was said to you.

Re: Would you ever

haddon9 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:39:28 GMT

@KingstonMom wrote:
No, I wouldn't. I think Dr.s must assume you know nothing about a particular ailment/treatment, with so many these days resorting to the internet for their 'medical knowledge'.

I would want my Dr. to assume I'm stupid and tell me everything I need to know!

@KingstonMom I could be wrong but I'm assuming that the OP means the doctor in question had a very patronizing manner with her.

I would hate if any of my doctors spoke to me that way. Of course I would want them to explain things well. It's how the message is delivered.

Re: Would you ever

Jo1313 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:43:24 GMT

@ahoymate wrote:
No, change MD's.

Dr.'s here are few and far between..

"Specialists" like this one seem to take the job bcause it offered a huge bonus to come here.

As soon as their "contracts" are over the leave like a fly in the night. So there is one "specialist" in the field if you're lucky.

This person knew almost nothing about my condition.I said google it!.. I was the lucky one... of the 1 in 100,000 that get this.

Re: Would you ever

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:48:15 GMT

Report a doctor to the head of their department

for treating you as if you were stupid?

@jlkz wrote:
@Jo1313

Before I would report him / her, I would confront the doctor directly on his/ her treatment of you. Did the doctor realize that this was how their behavior came across ?

Then I would restate why you made the comment or question put to the doctor. Do you understand why I made the comment or asked the question.... Etc.

Only then would I report the doctor. If the doctor is a specialist and the "best" in that specialty, you may want to rethink your options.

@Jo1313

I'd like to know what's behind the reluctance to discuss this directly with the MD and think "reporting" them is a better option. Do you have trouble standing up for yourself?

I agree with @jlkz .

We're all grownups here and the first step is always talking to the person you feel is problematic.

Obviously I know little about the background or how long you've had this doctor. However, not saying anything to the doc and then going to their superior seems a bit childish to me.

JMO, of course.

Re: Would you ever

GinaV24 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:49:32 GMT

It's really complicated thats for sure -- if the specialist is the best person to treat you, sometimes you have to deal with the doctor being a jerk.

There was a doctor when my brother was in the hospital. I was waiting in my brother's room for him to wake up. This doctor I had never seen before walked in - looked at my brother, then at me and asked me if he was DEAD! I looked at him and said - really? do you think I'd be sitting here reading a book? No, he's asleep. Jerk just wanted to listen to his heart so woke him up to do that.

I didn't get his name and he was someone I had not seen before. I was very upset and unhappy about that.

Re: Would you ever

PansyBoo — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:49:47 GMT

No.

Re: Would you ever

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:50:42 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
It depends on what he said to me. Many doctors, especially older ones, can be short and snippy to patients and everyone else. I worked in healthcare for 40 years. If I had a dollar for every doctor who talked down to me, I'd be wealthy today. But I would never accept demeaning, insulting or bullying. It was actually a doctor who told me that when first started working. If you feel you have cause to complain, I would not go to the department head. I'd lodge a written complaint with the president of the hospital and with the director of human resources. Don't get overly emotional. Don't write a novel. Just explain the circumstances and what was said to you.

@chrystaltree

From your perspective, don't you think the OP should talk to her doctor FIRST?

Re: Would you ever

Kachina624 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:53:20 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
I'm mulling it over. My dentist's new hygienist treats me like I'm deaf and senile....sorta speaks loud "baby talk" to me.

Since I've been a patient there for over 20 years, I seriously think I should say something....

@Desertdi. Well, why don't you tell her you feel like she's speaking in a condescending manner? Advise you that you are an adult, not a senile old lady.

I definitely think you should say something. She may not realize she's doing it.

Re: Would you ever

Jo1313 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:53:55 GMT

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

Report a doctor to the head of their department
for treating you as if you were stupid?

@jlkz wrote:
@Jo1313

Before I would report him / her, I would confront the doctor directly on his/ her treatment of you. Did the doctor realize that this was how their behavior came across ?

Then I would restate why you made the comment or question put to the doctor. Do you understand why I made the comment or asked the question.... Etc.

Only then would I report the doctor. If the doctor is a specialist and the "best" in that specialty, you may want to rethink your options.

@Jo1313

I'd like to know what's behind the reluctance to discuss this directly with the MD and think "reporting" them is a better option. Do you have trouble standing up for yourself?

I agree with @jlkz .

We're all grownups here and the first step is always talking to the person you feel is problematic.

Obviously I know little about the background or how long you've had this doctor. However, not saying anything to the doc and then going to their superior seems a bit childish to me.

JMO, of course.

I did confront the "dr" so now it's their word against mine.

Just because I'm old and gray..doesn't mean I'm deaf and stupid! Talking to a few other people..I'm not the only one with an issue..

It's like dealing with a child "playing doctor".

Re: Would you ever

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:56:13 GMT

@GinaV24 wrote:
It's really complicated thats for sure -- if the specialist is the best person to treat you, sometimes you have to deal with the doctor being a jerk.

There was a doctor when my brother was in the hospital. I was waiting in my brother's room for him to wake up. This doctor I had never seen before walked in - looked at my brother, then at me and asked me if he was DEAD! I looked at him and said - really? do you think I'd be sitting here reading a book? No, he's asleep. Jerk just wanted to listen to his heart so woke him up to do that.

I didn't get his name and he was someone I had not seen before. I was very upset and unhappy about that.

@GinaV24

It also depends on whether the MD is someone you'll see regularly versus someone you might see only a couple times.

If I needed brain surgery, for instance, and the very best doc was a "jerk", I'd keep them.... and tell them what I really thought AFTER my brain surgery. LOL

Re: Would you ever

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 18:00:23 GMT

@Jo1313 wrote:
@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

Report a doctor to the head of their department
for treating you as if you were stupid?

@jlkz wrote:
@Jo1313

Before I would report him / her, I would confront the doctor directly on his/ her treatment of you. Did the doctor realize that this was how their behavior came across ?

Then I would restate why you made the comment or question put to the doctor. Do you understand why I made the comment or asked the question.... Etc.

Only then would I report the doctor. If the doctor is a specialist and the "best" in that specialty, you may want to rethink your options.

@Jo1313

I'd like to know what's behind the reluctance to discuss this directly with the MD and think "reporting" them is a better option. Do you have trouble standing up for yourself?

I agree with @jlkz .

We're all grownups here and the first step is always talking to the person you feel is problematic.

Obviously I know little about the background or how long you've had this doctor. However, not saying anything to the doc and then going to their superior seems a bit childish to me.

JMO, of course.
I did confront the "dr" so now it's their word against mine.
Just because I'm old and gray..doesn't mean I'm deaf and stupid! Talking to a few other people..I'm not the only one with an issue..
It's like dealing with a child "playing doctor".

@Jo1313

Thank you for adding that clarification.

So what did they say when you confronted them?

Re: Would you ever

Mz iMac — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 18:04:51 GMT

@Jo1313 In a heart beat!

Re: Would you ever

skatting44 — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 18:28:21 GMT

More info is needed . Are you a colleague and part of a health care team or are you a patient ? How did he tell you infomation that you say you alreday know . Did he speak using lay terms or do you feel he was to basic in the medical information he was speaking to you abt ?

In any event , I would thank the Doctor for providing me more infomation or for presenting teaching info. Then say that you have a wealth of knowledge and that you'd appreciate discussions abt medical issues on a higher than basic level with him.

Speak directly with whomever you may have a complaint abt .

Re: Would you ever

RedTop — Mon, 09 Oct 2023 18:56:06 GMT

YES. As an advocate for my husband in the VA health system, I have made numerous fact based complaints that were investigated and have resulted in changes to help other veterans. We have had several meetings with the Administrator as well as Chief of Staff over physician issues.