topic Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers? in Wellness

Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

emmysmom — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 01:37:39 GMT

I'm a caregiver for an 8 yo boy..he has aspergers..all I can say is OMG! I need advice, not sure I can take care of him. Tia!

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

betteb — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 01:41:36 GMT

I know what it is, but never really interacted with a child that had it.

The Wiki page has some really good info. HTH

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

dsky — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 01:49:48 GMT

My son has Aspergers, he is sixteen years old. I can tell you that raising him has been a very trying journey, however there is hope. The early teen years were really hard, but this year we have noticed a great improvement in his demeanor. There is alot of info and sites on Aspergers, myautismteam . com is a good one to connect with others with similar issues. Gosh ask me anything you want, I am totally honest about the problems, and I will help you in any way I can.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

Tissyanne — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 01:49:52 GMT

I do know a little child about that same age with this. I know he does not want to be hugged or touched very much. There are varying degrees, but he does okay in familiar settings. He does go to school without problems.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

emmysmom — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 03:31:31 GMT

On 4/23/2014 dsky said:
My son has Aspergers, he is sixteen years old. I can tell you that raising him has been a very trying journey, however there is hope. The early teen years were really hard, but this year we have noticed a great improvement in his demeanor. There is alot of info and sites on Aspergers, myautismteam . com is a good one to connect with others with similar issues. Gosh ask me anything you want, I am totally honest about the problems, and I will help you in any way I can.

Thanks dsky..I'm still not sure I can take care of him. I feel for his grandparents, they have the 2 boys, 8 and 9. I've only spent one day with the 8 yo and I was worn out. He's very hyper too, volatile, exhausting. His older brother is a doll..what a shame! What is autism anyway?? Thanks to ALL for the advice..! I am sure I will be asking!! I am so glad your son is doing better, thats great news!!!

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

lovesrecess — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 03:44:54 GMT

while all kids with ASD are not the same, Asperger kids will have some common traits:

they thrive in routine schedules; predictability; if you must change his routine such as the time he will eat lunch one day, give him notice as far in advance as possible....

tendency for sensory overload: too much noise, movement, lights can be too much and cause a real overload; he might "meltdown" or get upset...designate a safe space" for him where he can go when things are just too much for a bit

I worked with ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorders students for decades and with Aspergers since it was first acknowledged in the 90's.......I think you will benefit from caring for this young man....you will learn a lot from him!

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

TexasMom1 — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 03:49:24 GMT

Where are the parents of this child?

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

emmysmom — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 19:20:55 GMT

On 4/23/2014 TexasMom1 said:
Where are the parents of this child?

They gave up rights and the grandparents are adopting. So sad. They have a lovely, happy home now, something they didn't have before. More and more grandparents are raising their grandchildren these days, whether its drug use, alcoholism or abandonment.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

emmysmom — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 19:30:08 GMT

On 4/23/2014 lovesrecess said:
while all kids with ASD are not the same, Asperger kids will have some common traits:

they thrive in routine schedules; predictability; if you must change his routine such as the time he will eat lunch one day, give him notice as far in advance as possible....

tendency for sensory overload: too much noise, movement, lights can be too much and cause a real overload; he might "meltdown" or get upset...designate a safe space" for him where he can go when things are just too much for a bit

I worked with ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorders students for decades and with Aspergers since it was first acknowledged in the 90's.......I think you will benefit from caring for this young man....you will learn a lot from him!

Yesterday they put him in a safe room at school. Today I got him ready for school and he was doing great. His grandmother called me later and they were sending him home with a therapist, since he was rowdy in class. The therapist said they aren't taking care of him correctly as he's in a special needs school. I am hoping he can return to school. This is so stressful for his gp's!! I want to help and hoping I will be needed next week. So glad there are women here who can give me advice. Have you heard that gluten can cause these problems?? I suggested he try going gluten free..it couldn't hurt. Thanks so much for your help..I am sure you will be hearing from me!

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

emmysmom — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 19:32:08 GMT

On 4/23/2014 dsky said:
My son has Aspergers, he is sixteen years old. I can tell you that raising him has been a very trying journey, however there is hope. The early teen years were really hard, but this year we have noticed a great improvement in his demeanor. There is alot of info and sites on Aspergers, myautismteam . com is a good one to connect with others with similar issues. Gosh ask me anything you want, I am totally honest about the problems, and I will help you in any way I can.

I will be in touch..thanks!

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

Meeras — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 19:35:10 GMT

wiki link really helps.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

PalmTree11 — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 23:11:51 GMT

This is a very informational site with further links:

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/detail_asperger.htm

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

Mindy D — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 23:18:01 GMT

Hi I am both a Special Ed teacher and a sScience teacher. I have taught many students with AS. May I suggest the web site Autism Speaks. The site is helpful. One thing I will say, is that every student is different and will have different needs. You can do it. The first step is to be armed with information from this site.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

walkingal — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 23:24:00 GMT

I don't know anyone with Asperberger's, but I recently read two sweet and touching novels where the main characters have the disorder: The Good Luck of Right Now by Matthew Quick; and Rosie's Project, can't remember that author's name. Don't know if they'll help you, but your thread reminded me of them.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

JEHART — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 23:45:24 GMT

My son was diagnosed at the age of 5. 38 years ago it wasn't that commonly known but he was rocking , self destructive, no eye contact, no touching, no speech and deaf. He screamed if I took him in a store or theater and couldn't stand to have any items on any flat surface. He shoved it all on the floor. We finally put him in a couple different live- in programs that were very structured and they taught him signing. He has those "pockets of functioning" and remembers every date of our lives, everyone's age and birthday and draws in 3d. We brought him home on weekends while he went to a school for the deaf and stayed at a group home. I know that seems cruel to some people but he now works at McDonald's and lives in his own house that he keeps up pretty much on his own. We pay his bills and grocery shop. I have taught him to cook and he is gluten free. We still bring him home whenever he wants and he is very happy now. He doesn't talk much, wears hearing aids and we use sign language. He continues to grow and mature and is very adorable. It has been a long, difficult journey but it sure paid off to be persistent. I wish those generous grandparents the best.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

house cat — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 00:20:20 GMT

Emmiesmom… if you possibly can arrange to meet his teacher, that will be helpful. You will need permission from his guardians to do this, but if you are to be spending a lot of time with the child, it will be worth it. The school has a learning plan in place for him, with specific goals in mind. It's good that you know what they are and how to interact with him.

If it's just a short term arrangement, then be sure to communicate your concerns to the grandparents. They can tell you what works and what doesn't.

Asperger's kids are characteristically not good with changes in their routine. It is very likely that he will calm down as you become more familiar with each other.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

dfyre — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 01:22:42 GMT

Our 14 year old grandson is profoundly autistic - no speech, can't dress himself, needs to be taken to the bathroom (and asked repeatedly if he needs to go). He goes to special classes and can sign a bit - and is an absolute wiz at finding movies on an iPad which is what he does most of the time. He only "relates" to his parents and pretty much ignores everyone else like they're not there, including his older sister. He is also prone to seizures. Since he's 6' tall, 200 lbs. and growing, there's no way we can take care of him. He just doesn't notice much about his surroundings - once at our house one of my cats climbed into his lap. He didn't appear to notice the cat was there, only that there was something in his lap. His mother insists on feeding him gluten free although she will admit that it does nothing for his condition but that it seems to keep him "regular."

His older sister (17) does very well academically but is socially inept. Not at all shy, but cannot get along with others, has no friends and has never been on a date. I believe she has a form of Aspergers (there are many forms and degrees) but keep my mouth shut.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

lolakimono — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 01:35:46 GMT

Kids on the spectrum (Aspergers- Autistic) don't "get" sarcasm, so make sure that you are explicit with your requests and direct with whatever speech you use.

Others have mentioned previously the "routines" and they don't like deviation from routines. Something "simple" as having a substitute (even if they know it in advance) can be a huge disruption to the day.

There might be "trigger" words that will set them off. I have had a few that will argue a point to death, even if it is not related to the topic, because someone has used a trigger word.

They also might not like to interact with others, like in a small group setting. You might find that others do not like to interact with them because of poor social skills (lack of eye contact, interrupting, etc.) or behaviors that shouldn't be public. Some things that I have seen (which required intervention by the aide) are nose picking and placing their hands in inappropriate places.

You might also witness "self-soothing" behaviors or gestures like flapping when they are irritated or frustrated. Some behaviors can become OCD, like scratching or picking the skin, tapping a pencil, etc. If the child is verbal, you can use code words so they can express how they are feeling before the meltdown. If non-verbal, you might use pictures and have a picture board (the size of a bingo card) where he can point to the picture that matches the problem or request. Frequent breaks and movement are important to maintain attention.

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

emmysmom — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 01:41:33 GMT

On 4/24/2014 JEHART said:
My son was diagnosed at the age of 5. 38 years ago it wasn't that commonly known but he was rocking , self destructive, no eye contact, no touching, no speech and deaf. He screamed if I took him in a store or theater and couldn't stand to have any items on any flat surface. He shoved it all on the floor. We finally put him in a couple different live- in programs that were very structured and they taught him signing. He has those "pockets of functioning" and remembers every date of our lives, everyone's age and birthday and draws in 3d. We brought him home on weekends while he went to a school for the deaf and stayed at a group home. I know that seems cruel to some people but he now works at McDonald's and lives in his own house that he keeps up pretty much on his own. We pay his bills and grocery shop. I have taught him to cook and he is gluten free. We still bring him home whenever he wants and he is very happy now. He doesn't talk much, wears hearing aids and we use sign language. He continues to grow and mature and is very adorable. It has been a long, difficult journey but it sure paid off to be persistent. I wish those generous grandparents the best.

Thank you so much for posting..I think you are an amazing mother. Thats wonderful news that your son is self supporting, you have taught him so much. I am sure he is adorable, your story brought me to tears!

Re: Anyone familiar with Aspergers?

emmysmom — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 01:47:05 GMT

On 4/24/2014 dfyre said:
Our 14 year old grandson is profoundly autistic - no speech, can't dress himself, needs to be taken to the bathroom (and asked repeatedly if he needs to go). He goes to special classes and can sign a bit - and is an absolute wiz at finding movies on an iPad which is what he does most of the time. He only "relates" to his parents and pretty much ignores everyone else like they're not there, including his older sister. He is also prone to seizures. Since he's 6' tall, 200 lbs. and growing, there's no way we can take care of him. He just doesn't notice much about his surroundings - once at our house one of my cats climbed into his lap. He didn't appear to notice the cat was there, only that there was something in his lap. His mother insists on feeding him gluten free although she will admit that it does nothing for his condition but that it seems to keep him "regular."

His older sister (17) does very well academically but is socially inept. Not at all shy, but cannot get along with others, has no friends and has never been on a date. I believe she has a form of Aspergers (there are many forms and degrees) but keep my mouth shut.

Does this mean that autism is heriditary?? I feel for his parents, and you...its so sad! Thanks for posting..I had no idea how common this disorder is..I'm glad I'm getting involved with this boy..I haven't heard from his grandmother tonight..I hope everything's ok.