~ so down ~

abbycat — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:07:16 GMT

Just venting here .... I am so down today - it's been gray and rainy all week and I deal with SAD anyhow. And, yes, I do have a lightbox, take my vitamins, exercise, and visit friends whenever I can. This time of year is so hard for me .... I live alone - divorced after 40 years of marriage - my children are 4 hours away and the closest one is 1 hour away - not far, but he's in D.C. and a lawyer - very busy. I can't depend on my kids to change this for me.

I thought of renting a well-equipped cabin about 3 hours from here for the holidays, but the one I usually go to is in the deep, deep, forest, back 5 miles off a dirt road, fording a creek, and then up a steep hill to get to the cabin. But, with the possibility of snow this time of year, even though I have a 4-runner, I could be stranded - not good.

This time of year is always hard for me .... too many bad memories of the holidays when I was a kid ..... it was merely a time for all the adults around me to get drunk - I was an only child in the world of crazies. I hid a lot and frankly still have that propensity.

I'll be going down to my daughters in VA for Christmas and that will be good. But, right now, things are just dark. I do see a therapist and am on medication, so I'm doing everything I can. It just seems to be "me" in the winter.

Thanks for listening,

abby

topic ~ so down ~ in Wellness

~ so down ~