topic Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief in Wellness

Delayed/Complicated Grief

KarenQVC — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 04:38:23 GMT

If 400,000 Americans die of covid by the end of the year, we will have about 4 million people dealing with very messy grief. I am counting 10 mourners for each death.

Services have been delayed or abbreviated. Some of my friends blame others for the death of a friend or relative.

This sounds like a mental health crisis is coming after the physical crisis ends.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

FancyPhillyshopper — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 04:47:26 GMT

Yes, grief is a powerful and frightening emotion. My deepest sympathy to all the families who have lost loved ones because of this terrible pandemic. People are also suffering from loss of homes, jobs and income, illness, isolation and many other issues.

We need to practice love, kindness, patience and generosity much more!

Healing will take time and a lot of support.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

EatWell — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 06:23:28 GMT

@KarenQVC wrote:
If 400,000 Americans die of covid by the end of the year, we will have about 4 million people dealing with very messy grief. I am counting 10 mourners for each death.

Services have been delayed or abbreviated. Some of my friends blame others for the death of a friend or relative.

This sounds like a mental health crisis is coming after the physical crisis ends.

Agree. It is a pretty grim scenario, especially without a vaccine available.

I have had 5 friends die as a result of Covid. 2 with no underlying medical issues, 2 with diabetes, heart conditions, obeseity. 1 by suicide.

And many I know now have fear of dying from Covid. And may die from the virus.
From young to elderly. With and without underlying medical conditions. No one is immune from being infected by the virus and dying a horrible death. Dying alone, on a respirator is a horrible thought.

And there will be many more suicides. Suffering economy, and fragile mental health issues.

I have made my last will and testament. I hope y'all have too.

Everyone should be prepared, especially now. 🙏

~Life is short. Enjoy everyday as if it is your last day on earth. You could die tomorrow.~

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

CalminHeart — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 11:35:29 GMT

@KarenQVC wrote:
If 400,000 Americans die of covid by the end of the year, we will have about 4 million people dealing with very messy grief. I am counting 10 mourners for each death.

Services have been delayed or abbreviated. Some of my friends blame others for the death of a friend or relative.

This sounds like a mental health crisis is coming after the physical crisis ends.

My son is a therapist and has seen a huge increase in the number of people needing help with anxiety and depression this year. And it's just begun.

I've often thought of this. It's been a year of death, grief, and anxiety. It's hard to imagine the impact on families. Add long-term health issues for those who survive. Include all the anxiety and stress for everyone. It's a recipe for disaster when it comes to mental health.

All we've heard about this year is death. New numbers every day. New suffering every day. Risks are increased because people go to parties, rallies, other crowded places, and some who refuse to wear a mask.

My state has been #1 and #2 in the country for massive increases in covid. It's insanity that our governor refuses to try anything to reduce the spread and that people don't listen to science.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

Witchy Woman — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 11:48:22 GMT

@CalminHeart

@KarenQVC

All you have said is profoundly sad to me.

I've not lost anyone, but think every day of those who have. My sis is a critical care nurse in NJ and was caring for Covid patients early on. I was crazy with worry. Things have improved, but she is older and, continues to work, so I am always worried.

Every day I try to be grateful for all I have, but my mind turns to those who have lost so much and will never be the same. We are not out of the woods, and won't be for a long time.

It's beyond belief knowing it didn't have to be this way.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

CalminHeart — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 11:50:59 GMT

@Witchy Woman wrote:
@CalminHeart
@KarenQVC

All you have said is profoundly sad to me.

I've not lost anyone, but think every day of those who have. My sis is a critical care nurse in NJ and was caring for Covid patients early on. I was crazy with worry. Things have improved, but she is older and, continues to work, so I am always worried.

Every day I try to be grateful for all I have, but my mind turns to those who have lost so much and will never be the same. We are not out of the woods, and won't be for a long time.

It's beyond belief knowing it didn't have to be this way.

I love your last line. I've been thinking this too. It could have been so different.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

kaydee50 — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 12:38:38 GMT

Not only a mental health crisis but a financial disaster is also looming.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

SilleeMee — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 13:16:00 GMT

I consider myself a survivor of covid. I was very sick for a long time and I am facing long-term health problems b/c of it.

Letting go of my anger and fear of the financial burden that covid has caused is my only saving grace. My life is changed forever, financially as well as physically and emotionally, and I struggle each day with finding ways to stay positive about it all. I live alone and sometimes that is not an easy thing to do.

ETA - In a peculiar way I feel a bit grief-stricken b/c I am no longer the person I use to be before covid. I am physically not the same and with that I cannot do the things I did before I got sick. The person I was is gone and I'm grieving the loss is what I'm trying to say here.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

tends2dogs — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 13:49:21 GMT

Your post makes me sad.....hearing what you have been left with as a result of having Covid. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that SO MANY people here missed you very much when you didn't post. Please know that you are NOT alone. You are respected and loved by many on this forum. We are thrilled that you are posting again.

I pray that you regain your preCovid health and strength.

Tends~

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

CrazyDaisy — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 14:20:32 GMT

People suffer losses everyday; cancer, heart disease, flu, auto accidents, murder etc....

Would be interested in where you got your numbers.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

ID2 — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 15:46:42 GMT

Where I live I really don't even feel like we are still in a "pandemic". We've been pretty much open for many months now. I don't know anyone that's had this virus. I never experienced sorrow. I've taken the time of the lockdown to get a better handle on my well being. Which includes my head. I never live my life always thinking of doom and gloom. I'm probably the only happy person out there through this whole mess.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

Sooner — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 15:56:40 GMT

We are always in jeoparty from illness, financial ruin, a volcano or and earthquake or massive drought world wide.

Pandemics have happened before and will happen again. Science cannot save us. Medicine cannot save us. Governments cannot save us from biology and natural forces.

We live by grace and faith because to do otherwise is not wise. We are at the mercy of the earth--the earth is not at the mercy of us. That is one concept we have very wrong.

My point is that we are not in charge. Never have been, never will be. We are frail little beings, so live your life and do the best you can and be thankful when you think how much worse most people on this planet have it than any of us in this country.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

Bri369 — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 16:04:17 GMT

@KarenQVC wrote:
If 400,000 Americans die of covid by the end of the year, we will have about 4 million people dealing with very messy grief. I am counting 10 mourners for each death.

Services have been delayed or abbreviated. Some of my friends blame others for the death of a friend or relative.

This sounds like a mental health crisis is coming after the physical crisis ends.

I'm curious where you're getting your 400,000 figure from? As of now, we're just around 200,000.

Regardless, there are mental health agencies or other avenues of help for people dealing with Covid.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

KarenQVC — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 16:10:08 GMT

I don't know. Canada had no deaths yesterday and we had 1000. Just this AM I was thinking about trying to make a break across the border. (We live very close.) I admire the Canadians. It seems their human intervention has been successful.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

tends2dogs — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 16:26:07 GMT

@ID2 wrote:
Where I live I really don't even feel like we are still in a "pandemic". We've been pretty much open for many months now. I don't know anyone that's had this virus. I never experienced sorrow. I've taken the time of the lockdown to get a better handle on my well being. Which includes my head. I never live my life always thinking of doom and gloom. I'm probably the only happy person out there through this whole mess.

No, you aren't the only happy person "out there" going through this. I feel for the ones that have let this paralyze their life. You could walk outside and get hit by a car, bullet, fill in the blank.

My DH and I are living our life basically the same as before with a few changes....masks, social distancing, etc. We are going to most of the same places as before. We have a strong faith base and that helps us get through. We have been through tougher times than this.

I understand that not everyone can carry on so to speak. It is a heavy, scary burden for many. As I said above, I have compassion for them and am thankful everyday that I don't have this heaviness laid on me.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

KarenQVC — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 16:57:21 GMT

I understand there are people who expect little from the government and they will suffer less grief.

However, there are many who expect more and they will suffer complicated grief. There will be quite a few in this class and they are citizens.

I just know how proud Canadians are of their response and their health care system.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

jeanlake — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 17:20:21 GMT

For those of us who have not experienced global tragedy at home (war, acts of nature, health pandemics) this season is the most unkind season of our lives and no one in our country has been spared. Some are more fortunate than others and I'm glad to see those who have been spared are compassionate towards those who are on the front lines to potential tragedy. Add to this, our country is passionately divided on crucial issues.

Hold tight to your faith and keep that faith simple. In my opinion, there's a reason the Sermon on the Mount was taught in the beauty of nature. Keep your eyes soft. Leave room in your hearts for compassion and grace. Be wise as you go about your day. Reconfirm your purpose. I've been alarmed at how harsh people have become. I know this is how weak people handle stress, but it is so destructive to our society.

I am so thankful those I know who tested positive for covid19 never went to the hospital. Grateful beyond words. My heart breaks for those experiencing loss. Everyone take care.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

shoesnbags — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 17:23:27 GMT

@Bri369 wrote:
@KarenQVC wrote:
If 400,000 Americans die of covid by the end of the year, we will have about 4 million people dealing with very messy grief. I am counting 10 mourners for each death.

Services have been delayed or abbreviated. Some of my friends blame others for the death of a friend or relative.

This sounds like a mental health crisis is coming after the physical crisis ends.
I'm curious where you're getting your 400,000 figure from? As of now, we're just around 200,000.

Regardless, there are mental health agencies or other avenues of help for people dealing with Covid.

@Bri369

I believe this is the number they were reporting as the latest prediction yesterday - a doubling of the death count by the end of the year. I don't believe these dire predictions help anyone. And I don't think they change anyone's behavior. It just serves to further depress people who really don't need any more stress at this point. (Speaking of stress, I have a hurricane headed my way at this point. I'm getting numb to bad news. )

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

CLHS68 — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 17:33:10 GMT

If people would take this seriously & follow guidelines maybe we would have the success that Canada & other countries have. But no people refuse to wear a mask , don't social distance & gather in crowds. Our cases are growing & the college campus is exploding with cases but no they had to open schools instead of online learning.

Re: Delayed/Complicated Grief

noodleann — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 17:34:13 GMT

@KarenQVC wrote:
If 400,000 Americans die of covid by the end of the year, we will have about 4 million people dealing with very messy grief. I am counting 10 mourners for each death.

Services have been delayed or abbreviated. Some of my friends blame others for the death of a friend or relative.

This sounds like a mental health crisis is coming after the physical crisis ends.

It's September 13th today. This has been going on all year, with the first deaths reported in Jan. or Feb. here. Our death count in this country (of Americans and non-Americans alike) is under 200,000. I don't see how we'll have another 200,000 dead of COVID-19 in 3.5 months. The global total of new deaths today was around 2,700. The US total was 158. It would take nearly 2,000 deaths every day in the US to reach your predicted total.

Your mourner count is also off. I will have one mourner of my death, and I believe several family members are in the same situation. Many in nursing homes don't have anyone to mourn their passing. "We" will not "have about 4 million people dealing with very messy grief." Grief is often an emotionally chaotic experience. Coping with loss can be challenging. That's normal.

"Services" do not necessarily help with the grieving process. I know of several deaths that had no services by the choice of the dead person, and there were no problems that I know of for the people who survived. I can speak to this because I was one of them and knew the others. For those who want and need services, they can be done in a limited way now or a memorial service can be done when things are safer. If people don't know this, they'll learn when they need to know.

"Some of my friends blame others for the death of a friend or relative." Some of your friends may be right, but that's a whole other matter.

It's a bit hypocritical to be ginning up anxiety when you're warning of a coming mental health crisis, which also appears to be your conjecture. Stuff like this only makes things worse, especially for some of the more fragile posters who frequent this forum.