topic Re: Shoulder Surgery in Wellness

Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 13:29:11 GMT

i in mid Jan my other half is having surgery to repair a muscle tear in his right shoulder. He will have to wear an imoblizer 24/7 for 3-4 weeks. He will be on heavy pain killers for a few days

He will probably sleep on the recliner for a while while I am in the other room

I am really scared of the stress this will put on our lives. He still works and commutes to NYC via car/Railroad and Subway. We are working on getting him liberal work at home for this time period.

I have my own medical issues and I am so scared this will send my compromised system over the edge.

I am not sure how I will deal with this is its throwing me into anxiety attacks.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Travone — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 13:37:37 GMT

Can he take medical leave while he is recupperating? That may help ease your anxiety a bit.....at least he wouldn't have to commute.

Can you reach out to the social services department of the hospital where the surgery is being done....they may be able to help you so everything doesn't fall on you. Also, reach out to the doctor's office, they will know of resources to help you too.

Don't try to do this alone, ask for help.

Prayers to you.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 13:45:41 GMT

@Travone

Thank you but he is stubborn and does not want to take any more leave than necessary, I am not sure what you mean by social services, we are under 65 and there is little available I tried when he had his hip surgery 3 years ago

@Travone wrote:
Can he take medical leave while he is recupperating? That may help ease your anxiety a bit.....at least he wouldn't have to commute.

Can you reach out to the social services department of the hospital where the surgery is being done....they may be able to help you so everything doesn't fall on you. Also, reach out to the doctor's office, they will know of resources to help you too.

Don't try to do this alone, ask for help.

Prayers to you.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Eileen in Virginia — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 14:04:09 GMT

Talk to your husband’s doctors about his post-surgery care options. They may have him go to a rehab facility immediately after he’s released from the hospital or they may order home health care from visiting nurses, physical and/or occupational therapists. Be sure you tell them about your own physical limitations so they know how much or how little you’re able to care for him.

If I remember correctly, he works for the Federal government. Although I retired from the Federal government over 9 years ago, at that time it was a strong proponent for working at home. Federal managers were very sympathetic in situations like your husband’s, especially if the person’s doctor recommended it or stated that work at home was the only way the employee could “return” to work until fully recovered. If his manager won’t agree, your husband can request an extension of his sick leave, apply to receive leave from the leave-sharing program, request an advance on sick leave or request approved leave without pay (this is a form of approved leave, not AWOL). The goal is to agree to a solution that works for both parties - your husband gets the time he needs to recuperate from his surgery and his manager helps his employee become productive again, either from home or at the office. Good luck!

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 14:26:09 GMT

@Eileen in Virginia Thank you I have tried before to get a housekeeper or Visitng Nurse and in all honesty it is very difficult. We are working on the work from home option at the moment and then if that does not happen we will find other options. Rehab is not an option he would never conscent.

@Eileen in Virginia wrote:
Talk to your husband’s doctors about his post-surgery care options. They may have him go to a rehab facility immediately after he’s released from the hospital or they may order home health care from visiting nurses, physical and/or occupational therapists. Be sure you tell them about your own physical limitations so they know how much or how little you’re able to care for him.

If I remember correctly, he works for the Federal government. Although I retired from the Federal government over 9 years ago, at that time it was a strong proponent for working at home. Federal managers were very sympathetic in situations like your husband’s, especially if the person’s doctor recommended it or stated that work at home was the only way the employee could “return” to work until fully recovered. If his manager won’t agree, your husband can request an extension of his sick leave, apply to receive leave from the leave-sharing program, request an advance on sick leave or request approved leave without pay (this is a form of approved leave, not AWOL). The goal is to agree to a solution that works for both parties - your husband gets the time he needs to recuperate from his surgery and his manager helps his employee become productive again, either from home or at the office. Good luck!

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Pook — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 15:06:36 GMT

@I am still oxox I know 4 people who have had the same issue and were not released to do any work until they had successful therapy and could just wear a sling. His doctor should have told him all that or given him a pamphlet explaining it. My suggestion is that he begin now to learn to do everyday things with only his other arm/hand and forget about work. I had a broken humorous and wore the heavy imoblizer for a month and was not allowed to do anything for a month. Nearly 3 months later I still wouldn't have been released for work if I wasn't retired. I think therapy started for those who had a muscle tear right away though. The more he can do for himself, the less stress for you so if he is not willing to learn to do as much as he can for himself then maybe he should put it off until he can.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Mindy D — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 16:25:22 GMT

@I am still oxox wrote:
@Eileen in Virginia Thank you I have tried before to get a housekeeper or Visitng Nurse and in all honesty it is very difficult. We are working on the work from home option at the moment and then if that does not happen we will find other options. Rehab is not an option he would never conscent.

@Eileen in Virginia wrote:
Talk to your husband’s doctors about his post-surgery care options. They may have him go to a rehab facility immediately after he’s released from the hospital or they may order home health care from visiting nurses, physical and/or occupational therapists. Be sure you tell them about your own physical limitations so they know how much or how little you’re able to care for him.

If I remember correctly, he works for the Federal government. Although I retired from the Federal government over 9 years ago, at that time it was a strong proponent for working at home. Federal managers were very sympathetic in situations like your husband’s, especially if the person’s doctor recommended it or stated that work at home was the only way the employee could “return” to work until fully recovered. If his manager won’t agree, your husband can request an extension of his sick leave, apply to receive leave from the leave-sharing program, request an advance on sick leave or request approved leave without pay (this is a form of approved leave, not AWOL). The goal is to agree to a solution that works for both parties - your husband gets the time he needs to recuperate from his surgery and his manager helps his employee become productive again, either from home or at the office. Good luck!

Hire a housekeeper once a week for the four week period to relieve the stress on yourself. It is definitely worth the money. Your insurance from work might entitle your

husband to some home health benefit. Each plan is different. If your husband requires physical therapy after he gets home most insurance allows twelve visits with the doctor’s order. I would still speak with social services at the hospital. They work with finding the resources you are entitled to and this has nothing to do with income. It has to do with your insurance coverage. I’d also call your insurance administrator at work and ask for help. Unfortunately, federal workers don’t have short term disability coverage. There is a bill in The House right now to allow them to purchase short term disability. I’m shocked that this isn’t available to them.

You could also also contact a home health company and pay for three days of pat time help right after your husband gets home or ask a relative to stay over with you for the first two days to help you get settled.

Try buying foods that are ready to eat with no prep at all. Ready-made sandwiches, salads, yogurt, pudding, fruit, cheese. You can also order dinner to be delivered a few times in the first couple weeks.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

fthunt — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 16:16:18 GMT

A lady friend of mine had surgery on both shoulders - 2 operations - and doc sent her directly to rehab facility for ?? 6 weeks. She had no choice - and since your husband commutes via car part way....I would expect driving - lifting - is a big "NO".

You seem to be throwing cold water on all our suggestions and good advice.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 17:06:42 GMT

@fthunt Driving will only be out while he is on pain killers Thank you for the good suggestion but they are not viable viable NO, if you are under 65 there are few things that are available I have tried. There is no reason for him to go to a rehab, he was not sent after his hip and I see no reason for him to go now, he is a very active fit 64 year old man

@fthunt wrote:
A lady friend of mine had surgery on both shoulders - 2 operations - and doc sent her directly to rehab facility for ?? 6 weeks. She had no choice - and since your husband commutes via car part way....I would expect driving - lifting - is a big "NO".
You seem to be throwing cold water on all our suggestions and good advice.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 19:39:14 GMT

Thank you all for the kind replies, we have decided to most likely put the surgery off unil May 2020 when he retires, it will be less stress on all parties involved

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Sooner — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 19:49:27 GMT

@I am still oxox wrote:
@Eileen in Virginia Thank you I have tried before to get a housekeeper or Visitng Nurse and in all honesty it is very difficult. We are working on the work from home option at the moment and then if that does not happen we will find other options. Rehab is not an option he would never conscent.

@Eileen in Virginia wrote:
Talk to your husband’s doctors about his post-surgery care options. They may have him go to a rehab facility immediately after he’s released from the hospital or they may order home health care from visiting nurses, physical and/or occupational therapists. Be sure you tell them about your own physical limitations so they know how much or how little you’re able to care for him.

If I remember correctly, he works for the Federal government. Although I retired from the Federal government over 9 years ago, at that time it was a strong proponent for working at home. Federal managers were very sympathetic in situations like your husband’s, especially if the person’s doctor recommended it or stated that work at home was the only way the employee could “return” to work until fully recovered. If his manager won’t agree, your husband can request an extension of his sick leave, apply to receive leave from the leave-sharing program, request an advance on sick leave or request approved leave without pay (this is a form of approved leave, not AWOL). The goal is to agree to a solution that works for both parties - your husband gets the time he needs to recuperate from his surgery and his manager helps his employee become productive again, either from home or at the office. Good luck!

@I am still oxox Please talk to your physician. Give him a call, talk to his office and tell them your husband is resisting help and tell them you can't do it. Sometimes the doctor has to step in and say this is the way its going to be. Talk with YOUR doctor and his.

It's not fun, it makes people upset and mad, but sometimes life is what it is and we don't get to choose how we want it to be. Your husband will figure that out I hope.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 20:42:32 GMT

@Sooner

When did I say he was ever resisting anything, he has decided to put the surgery off until he retires and can heal properly without compromising the surgery and his recovery

@Sooner wrote:

@Eileen in Virginia wrote

@I am still oxox Please talk to your physician. Give him a call, talk to his office and tell them your husband is resisting help and tell them you can't do it. Sometimes the doctor has to step in and say this is the way its going to be. Talk with YOUR doctor and his.

It's not fun, it makes people upset and mad, but sometimes life is what it is and we don't get to choose how we want it to be. Your husband will figure that out I hope.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

riley1 — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 22:53:54 GMT

@I am still oxox - I had rotator cuff surgery several years ago. It is a painful recuperation (and I could not take any thing for pain). Had the surgery in April and started PT about a month later. My arm at that point was still in a sling and PT was tough. Please encourage him to have PT as part of his rehab - especially if he wants full use of his arm.

I would also suggest he have several pairs of sweat pants and a couple of larger t-shirts to pull on. And start practicing with his opposite arm to do things - brush teeth, comb hair, eating, etc.

The few things I could not do were drive, carry anything. Hubby would bring the laundry down for me and I could get the washer going then one-handed things to the dryer, lol.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 23:06:59 GMT

@riley1

Thank you and he is not fighting PT at all in fact the doc agrees we should put the surgery off until early May so he and I will not have to worry about the commute

@riley1 wrote:
@I am still oxox - I had rotator cuff surgery several years ago. It is a painful recuperation (and I could not take any thing for pain). Had the surgery in April and started PT about a month later. My arm at that point was still in a sling and PT was tough. Please encourage him to have PT as part of his rehab - especially if he wants full use of his arm.

I would also suggest he have several pairs of sweat pants and a couple of larger t-shirts to pull on. And start practicing with his opposite arm to do things - brush teeth, comb hair, eating, etc.

The few things I could not do were drive, carry anything. Hubby would bring the laundry down for me and I could get the washer going then one-handed things to the dryer, lol.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

alicedee — Fri, 15 Nov 2019 23:13:44 GMT

@I am still oxox Sounds sensible to wait til his retirement. By May the winter weather will be over, it will be easier for you driving him, and less chance of him having a slip and fall outdoors. And no work pressure.

Glad that was worked out! Now you can enjoy your holidays.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Mindy D — Sat, 16 Nov 2019 19:16:36 GMT

Oxox, After reading this thread yesterday, I became interested in what the health insurance benefits are for federal employees so went to the website for this. I checked and compared multiple policies for workers. I was shocked at the benefits that federal workers do not have. I couldn’t believe that federal plans only cover a non disabled adult child that lives with you through age 22 when even the ACA Plans cover through age 26. I couldn’t believe that there is on option to buy short term disability. I expected the opposite.

If your husband is going to be 65 or is 66, I strongly suggest you check the benefits he could get with the various Medicare Advantage Plans and the various Medicare Supplement Plans with add on medication plans. These plans exceed the coverage benefits I saw yesterday for federal workers. These plans have coverage for skilled nursing care facilities, home healthcare following hospitalization or surgery, and so much more. Just compare a few of these plans with whatever you have now and you will see what I mean.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Misplaced Parisian — Sun, 17 Nov 2019 04:14:40 GMT

@I am still oxox So glad he is delaying surgery until he is retired. When I read he commuted via public transportation (like me) I was so concerned about his shoulder being jostled. Yikes. Whew. When the surgery does happen know that you have people here who care and will offer compassion & ideas. That might help a wee bit with the stress and anxiety. Wishing you and your hubby the absolute best!

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Mon, 18 Nov 2019 08:52:54 GMT

@Mindy D

Thanks we are all set with our Medicare coverage, as a Fedral emplyee his has the right to keep our current coverage. Our current primary insurance will become our secondary with no out of pocket costs, I have spent many days doing this research. Dleaying the surgery will benefit us in many ways

@Mindy D wrote:
Oxox, After reading this thread yesterday, I became interested in what the health insurance benefits are for federal employees so went to the website for this. I checked and compared multiple policies for workers. I was shocked at the benefits that federal workers do not have. I couldn’t believe that federal plans only cover a non disabled adult child that lives with you through age 22 when even the ACA Plans cover through age 26. I couldn’t believe that there is on option to buy short term disability. I expected the opposite.

If your husband is going to be 65 or is 66, I strongly suggest you check the benefits he could get with the various Medicare Advantage Plans and the various Medicare Supplement Plans with add on medication plans. These plans exceed the coverage benefits I saw yesterday for federal workers. These plans have coverage for skilled nursing care facilities, home healthcare following hospitalization or surgery, and so much more. Just compare a few of these plans with whatever you have now and you will see what I mean.

Re: Shoulder Surgery

Hooty — Wed, 20 Nov 2019 00:03:55 GMT

@riley1 @I am still oxox , I had rotator cuff surgery (compete tear) in June and started PT about a week later, and went for 9 weeks 2 times a week for 1 hr each time, and it was hard! Yes, I was still in a sling when I started! When the Dr. did my surgery, it was more intense that he intentionally thought, because I had lots of arthritis mixed in. I was already taking Meloxicam, since I was still in a fair amount pain after 4 mos., the Dr. increased my dosage to 15 mg., which is the highest you can take, but it has helped with the pain. I don't know your DH's age @I am still oxox , but the older you are the harder it is to get over the surgery, I am 70. It takes about a year to get completely over! I am not happy about taking the large dosage of Meloxicam, but it is better than being in pain all the time. If I don't get better, the Dr. says I may have to have a complete shoulder replacement, which I am not happy about!

Re: Shoulder Surgery

I am still oxox — Wed, 20 Nov 2019 00:10:27 GMT

@Hooty

So sorry about your recovery my Dh has a high pain toleramce and is a bit of a gym rat I have no doubt that he will do will in his recovery and PT

@Hooty wrote:
@riley1 @I am still oxox , I had rotator cuff surgery (compete tear) in June and started PT about a week later, and went for 9 weeks 2 times a week for 1 hr each time, and it was hard! Yes, I was still in a sling when I started! When the Dr. did my surgery, it was more intense that he intentionally thought, because I had lots of arthritis mixed in. I was already taking Meloxicam, since I was still in a fair amount pain after 4 mos., the Dr. increased my dosage to 15 mg., which is the highest you can take, but it has helped with the pain. I don't know your DH's age @I am still oxox , but the older you are the harder it is to get over the surgery, I am 70. It takes about a year to get completely over! I am not happy about taking the large dosage of Meloxicam, but it is better than being in pain all the time. If I don't get better, the Dr. says I may have to have a complete shoulder replacement, which I am not happy about!