topic Re: After surgery needs/advice please in Wellness

After surgery needs/advice please

Laura14 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 15:39:52 GMT

My mother is having surgery next week and probably recuperating at my house. Don't think she is going to do a 6 hour drive back to her home in FL with her husband the day after. It's an overnight stay and then home with a 2 week check up back at the hospital.

She mentioned she is wondering how to keep herself and her husband occupied in what may be a 2 week stay. This is my first experience with this level of illness with a parent and they are obviously out of their own home without their own "stuff" around them.

I don't know what to prepare to have for her (food, entertainment, household items, etc...) and you guys were so wonderful with her birthday suggestions that she absolutely loved, I thought I would ask again so I could have what she might need.

Anything you would suggest, I would love to read. Thank you!

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

JeanLouiseFinch — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:17:24 GMT

Depending on the extent of her surgery and pace of her recuperation, she may not want to do much of anything, at least in the beginning. If she's in pain and on meds for it, she may be sleepier than usual. Being able to sit out on the porch or patio might be all she's up to at first. As she progresses, maybe a walk around the neighborhood and eventually maybe a little walk in a park or mall, maybe go to a movie. It's hard to gauge something like this since it's new territory.

As for what to plan for menu ideas, that also depends a bit on her surgery and aftercare plan. Her doctor or nurse will go over that with her prior to discharge. You could ask your mom what she and her husband would like to have in the house, but that could all change after her surgery.

Household items, they should probably pack their most needed items as if they were going on vacation somewhere. Depending on your mom's level of strength and ability, you might consider renting a shower chair if there's a chance she may be unusually weak or have limited abilities at first.

It's good for you to be concerned and want to prepare, but you might be better off talking with a nurse who knows how the particular surgery could affect a patient. She can also make recommendations on activity levels and appropriate diet, if there is one. If your mom can return to a normal diet immediately, ask her what she and her husband would like you to have in the house.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Group 5 minus 1 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:06:19 GMT

Ask!

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

qualitygal — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:09:26 GMT

Does he or she have a lap top? Retired?

Puzzle while setting should help keep them occupied. T.V. They could bring some books for reading too. Don't think they need to go out.

Find out what they like to eat, snack on, for as close to home as that is, it'll help. Think of yourself, as a temp B & B. Temporary.

Card game? Be sure and ask them what they do at their house, that they can do at yours. Depending on Doc., and med's, and how they'll get about will have a lot to do with it. HTH

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

D Kay — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:09:53 GMT

It all depends, of course, on her level of ability following surgery. You might consider if she is able, a shower bench for use in the shower or to sit in front of the bathroom sink to bathe. A bedside table within easy reach is always useful to serve meals or access items frequently used such as lip balm, lotion, etc.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

fthunt — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:11:55 GMT

Mom is probably more concerned about hubby just sitting around - - that will make her nervous - so how about supplying your home with puzzles with subject of 'p' being something of interest to him. Also, if he likes cross word puzzles - I believe they have little booklets (check magazine sections) of various word games, etc. Even some kids word/picture games are interesting = Find Waldo

LOL

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

SandPiper — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:15:21 GMT

The hospital should have a social worker that can help you with your mom’s needs post surgery. They should also have any diet restrictions, if your mother needs that.

I would suggest that your mother bring the things that she uses daily, toiletries, skin care, etc. Also any comforting items like her pillow and favorite loungewear.

As for entertainment and household items I think you should wait to see how your mother feels. And take one day at a time.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

LTT1 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:16:01 GMT

@Laura14

Good suggestions are here.

i will think on it and read what others post.

The idea of renting (?) a shower chair sounds good.

I would need a heating pad...no matter what!

For meals you might want to order meat balls and freeze ahead. If there is an Italian place that makes Italian dishes, they might do those for you to freeze.

Will add more later.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Ketra — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:20:43 GMT

Ask your mother what they like to eat for breakfast, lunch & dinner..(chicken salad, pasta....) then make enough for leftovers. If you can’t cook, there’s always ready made foods at Costco or other stores. Does she like to read, be on her IPAD, movies, T.V. or do puzzles? Ask what do they normally do when shut indoors for entertainment. It’s best not to guess about things, and ask them directly what they like as it will make for a more pleasant time for all while she is recuperating. Take each day one at a time, helping your Mom and try and keep her husband busy. Take him on walks, trips to the store when possible so he feels included. You must love your Mom an awful lot to have started this thread. Just be there for her and that will be enough. God bless😊

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

wishmoon — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:25:49 GMT

Lots of night lights to luminate their way at night time. If, after her operation, she'll have trouble getting around, rent a rollator (a walker with wheels).

Best of luck to all of you.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Mominohio — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:34:44 GMT

She is your mom, so you should know the basics. What foods they like or can have (will she have any restrictions after surgery?), and have those on hand.

Can you give them an area to themselves? The master suite with their own bathroom for example. And in that area have anything she will need to be comfortable (or him if he has health mobility issues) like a recliner for relaxing, their own TV etc.

Can her husband go with someone like your husband or other men to some functions that will keep him occupied for a few hours at a time. Golfing, fishing, men's groups, church groups etc.? Have someone take him to a show or a symphony or anything else like that he would enjoy?Getting him out and doing might keep them both from going stir crazy.

What do they do? Do they have favorite TV shows that they don't want to miss? Do they have a strict schedule (my grandparents got really locked into a strict schedule and didn't handle it well when it was changed) that you can be sure to accommodate?

It sounds like a long time maybe to keep them occupied but it will go fast!

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Laura14 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:45:00 GMT

Thank you so much all!

My mom is having a hysterectomy (robot so small abdominal incisions not the major cut). I love the shower bench idea and the puzzles. I think both of them love crosswords so I will grab a bunch from the store.

I think they both read on their tablets so they should be good there with whatever they download. My sister lives down the street and I'm sure her husband will be out and about with her husband and his friends from time to time but that is a good idea to ask her to see if he is available.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the suggestions.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Mj12 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 17:54:31 GMT

There are some great suggestions here, I would just be repeating. Just want to wish your Mom a very successful surgery and recuperation. You’re a great daughter, @Laura14!

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Laura14 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:55:40 GMT

@Mominohiowrote:
She is your mom, so you should know the basics. What foods they like or can have (will she have any restrictions after surgery?), and have those on hand.

Can you give them an area to themselves? The master suite with their own bathroom for example. And in that area have anything she will need to be comfortable (or him if he has health mobility issues) like a recliner for relaxing, their own TV etc.

Can her husband go with someone like your husband or other men to some functions that will keep him occupied for a few hours at a time. Golfing, fishing, men's groups, church groups etc.? Have someone take him to a show or a symphony or anything else like that he would enjoy?Getting him out and doing might keep them both from going stir crazy.

What do they do? Do they have favorite TV shows that they don't want to miss? Do they have a strict schedule (my grandparents got really locked into a strict schedule and didn't handle it well when it was changed) that you can be sure to accommodate?

It sounds like a long time maybe to keep them occupied but it will go fast!

@Mominohio Thanks! I actually have him set up to use the golf course around the corner if he wants. That was a fantastic idea.

And she is staying in a master suite. I live in her old house and I never moved into her old room so it's all there waiting for her just like when she visits.

I knew you guys would know so much better than I about what to have on hand. Thank you! Thank you!

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

151949 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 17:02:15 GMT

First - her NEEDS will be told to you at the hospital before she is discharged. Other than that most answers would depend on what surgery she is having.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

judy0330 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 17:05:19 GMT

@JeanLouiseFinch hit the nail on the head! This is something that is very difficult to plan in advance. I had surgery on 2/5. I had a list a mile long of everything I was going to get done while I recovered. What did I do? Nothing. I was on round the clock pain meds for the first 3 days --- which I try to avoid at all costs -- but there was no choice. I basically slept for the first week. After that I pretty much read or watched tv. Exactly the opposite of what I had planned. As far as food -- I ate whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. If the surgery is a difficult one -- real structure afterwards is next to impossible. After the first week I couldn't sleep which made the days very long. I feel like I have finally emerged on the other side. If your mom is having a difficult time -- please keep telling her that this too shall pass and it will get better. I wish both of you well.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Laura14 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 18:03:30 GMT

@151949wrote:
First - her NEEDS will be told to you at the hospital before she is discharged. Other than that most answers would depend on what surgery she is having.

@151949 I was going more for wants and as much as I would love to be at the hospital upon discharge, I am the lone working person in my immediate family so others will be there for that. Can't do it all!

But if it makes you feel better, I did go over her prescription orders with her and warned about some questions the pharmacy may have for the doctor and exactly what she has been prescribed and how it should be taken.

There is a lot more to what is going on with her than I choose to reveal right now so I am asking that you just not participate with this post if you can't be polite because I have enough unpleasantness around me now as anyone would infer from the topic of this thread.

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

151949 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 17:09:14 GMT

@Laura14 So you can't say to her "Mom, what were your discharge instructions? Let's see if there is anything I need to do or get for you."

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Laura14 — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 17:11:40 GMT

@judy0330wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch hit the nail on the head! This is something that is very difficult to plan in advance. I had surgery on 2/5. I had a list a mile long of everything I was going to get done while I recovered. What did I do? Nothing. I was on round the clock pain meds for the first 3 days --- which I try to avoid at all costs -- but there was no choice. I basically slept for the first week. After that I pretty much read or watched tv. Exactly the opposite of what I had planned. As far as food -- I ate whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. If the surgery is a difficult one -- real structure afterwards is next to impossible. After the first week I couldn't sleep which made the days very long. I feel like I have finally emerged on the other side. If your mom is having a difficult time -- please keep telling her that this too shall pass and it will get better. I wish both of you well.

@judy0330 and @JeanLouiseFinch Thank you both very much.

That's the problem is she doesn't know what to expect or how she'll feel and who would until you go through it? I was hoping there would be some universal things to have on hand but you just don't know until it actually gets here do you?

I appreciate everyone so much!

Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Hoovermom — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 17:18:55 GMT

@Laura14: You are being a great support to your mom by anticipating what her needs may be. I am sure some of the things we often worry about don't come to fruition (thank goodness). I know that there are couriers that delivery just about anything to your home if an emergeny arises or you just need a little help. Best wishes for healing for her, your dad and everyone ( including you) involved in this journey.

P.S. I just saw your response to the last poster. I had a hysterectomy a few years. My sister reminded me the other day about climbing the stairs to my bedroom when I came home from the hospital. I think all of our strengths/will is different and we all respond differently. I didn't want to be sick, so I did follow the doctor's instructions.