topic Re: Yes in Wellness

Yes

halfpint1 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 06:22:25 GMT

I tried calling my son and I don't know if he has his phone or is ignoring me for he doesn't want to cope this time. In the past when i cant be by myself I wslkd 5 blocks after minight to sleep at his house but it is noisy and I aftaid what the machine if it is that could do plus my cats are here

and I don't want to leave them here with an unknown noise if anything should happen.

Re: Yes

MarkeieMark — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 06:40:46 GMT

I would just go to bed.

Re: Yes

hckynut — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 07:10:53 GMT

@halfpint1

I am sorry, but I am not sure I am getting this whole story, I know I don't understand it. Thus I really don't have anything I can say that might help you. Hope everything works out for you,

hckynut(john)

Re: Yes

AuntG — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 10:55:13 GMT

Hi @halfpint1. From reading another thread, I believe you are an 80 year old widow whose air conditioning unit is loud so you cannot sleep. I take it that your only relative (a son) is annoyed with you. I'm sorry that you feel poorly, but I urge you to put in some earplugs and try to get some sleep. Your son may need to be alert for his job so it's probably best not to bother him. I wish you well.

Re: Yes

ID2 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 11:19:43 GMT

Huh??

Re: Yes

Plaid Pants2 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 11:35:26 GMT

@halfpint1 wrote:
I tried calling my son and I don't know if he has his phone or is ignoring me for he doesn't want to cope this time. In the past when i cant be by myself I wslkd 5 blocks after minight to sleep at his house but it is noisy and I aftaid what the machine if it is that could do plus my cats are here
and I don't want to leave them here with an unknown noise if anything should happen.

What????

Re: Yes

tansy — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 12:34:26 GMT

@halfpint1, you sound so upset. I haven't read all of your other thread but maybe you, and hopefully your son, should talk with your primary care physician.

Re: Yes

freakygirl — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 13:09:25 GMT

@AuntG, i appreciate the kind and sympathetic tone of your reply.

Re: Yes

mistriTsquirrel — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 20:41:06 GMT

Hi, @halfpint1. It sounds like you are having anxiety about being alone and the sound heightens your anxiety. It also sounds like you are concerned about your cats dealing with the noise if you are not around to soothe them, or that the machine could explode or catch fire?

I hope you were able to get some sleep. Do you have a landlord or neighbor who could help with the noise? Or are you able to call a professional to have it looked at? Is there a way to turn the thing off (assuming you don't need it to run)?

As far as the anxiety about being alone, I think that is common when you are used to having someone around all the time, and then they are gone. I don't have cable anymore, but I often fall asleep to a YouTube video because the sound comforts me. Talk radio would be another thing that could make you feel less like you're by yourself.

You may want to check with your local hospice organization to see if they run grief groups. Many do that for free regardless of whether or not your husband was under their care before his death. If that is not available, you can contact someone at NAMI.org to find a group to join or a counselor who can help you adjust to your new situation. Although NAMI is a mental health organization, you don't have to have a mental illness to seek help, advice or guidance from them. They may be able to connect you with resources that you didn't think a mental health organization would dabble in. If you can't find a ride to a group or counseling appointment, hospice or NAMI may be able to help you with that as well, or direct you to someone who can help you.

It's also worth thinking about checking out ways to connect with others socially. Maybe a church group or a seniors group in your area would be a good way to not feel so alone, and they also may be able to help you with transportation if you need it.

If these are things that don't seem like anything you are willing to pursue at this time, there are always online groups. This board is not always the kindest, but there are boards that deal with grief specifically, and the issues that go hand-in-hand with grief (like anxiety). A Google search for online grief forums should help you find them.

I don't know if AARP has resources that can help you, but you could call them and find out.

Night time can be a prime time for anxiety, and if you're having a lot of anxiety at night that counseling or being social during the day doesn't address, you may want to talk to your doctor, who can give you something to take the edge off of nighttime anxiety.

Just brainstorming here. I apologize if I've misinterpreted your situation. I hope you're able to find relief.

Re: Yes

KingstonsMom — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 14:44:40 GMT

@mistriTsquirrel

Excellent post and suggestions that may help the OP....I'd give you 10 's if I could!

Re: Yes

mistriTsquirrel — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 15:06:27 GMT

Thanks, @KingstonsMom. I hope she can work something out that will alleviate the problems she's having. It's hard to be alone and have no one to count on. Sometimes it becomes necessary to reach out to agencies, neighbors or doctors for help.

Re: Yes

muttmom — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 15:28:23 GMT

@halfpint1

We cannot take for granted our children will take care of us. Have you considered moving to an assisted living facility?

Re: Yes

KathyM23 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 15:38:09 GMT

@halfpint1 If your air conditioner is making excessive noise, have it looked at to put your mind at ease. Probably it is just making its normal sound, you do not have to be afraid of it. I know that it is hard to get through the night with anxiety, but your son and his family also need their sleep. The suggestion to turn on the television until you are sleepy enough to fall asleep is a good one. May help take your mind off the noise that seems to be the trigger for your anxiety. The noise is not the cause of your anxiety, but is the trigger. You also mentioned your son's house being noisy The cause is adjusting to being alone. Late night is hard, I can see you start thinking about the air conditioning noise in the evening and by late night having it worked up into anxiety.

I know what I would do in your situation. I would see my doctor and get a mild anxiety pill to take at some point each day BEFORE your anxiety gets in control. I personally am a night person and would not have too much trouble adjusting to changing my habits and use the unsleepable late night hours to do readng, small chores, TV viewing, reading and responding to this and other forums, or other things you would do during the day. Better than laying there, trying to sleep, thinking more about the noise and becoming more anxious. Go to bed 3 or 4 a.m. (you would be really sleepy then, the scary part of the night would be over and you could then go to sleep and sleep through the morning hours. I did this at a time I was have anxiety and could not sleep at night. It worked for me. Switch your late night and early morning routine to awake late night doing things to occupy your mind and asleep early morning) You must do something to get enough sleep as lack of sleep adds to anxiety. Don't put off talking to your doctor regarding a mild anti-anxiety medication if he feels that would help you.

Find some type of activity with other people would help a lot. Do you have a Senior Ciltizen's group in your community or church group. People and activity to give your mind something to think about other than anxiety producing noise.

Re: Yes

QueenDanceALot — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 18:00:41 GMT

@mistriTsquirrel

And here I thought the reason I liked squirrels was their cute fluffy tails and their penchant for pizza.

Re: Yes

mistriTsquirrel — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 18:09:44 GMT

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@mistriTsquirrel

And here I thought the reason I liked squirrels was their cute fluffy tails and their penchant for pizza.

Of course, those things alone are reason enough, @QueenDanceALot.

Re: Yes

QueenDanceALot — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 18:18:02 GMT

@mistriTsquirrel wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@mistriTsquirrel

And here I thought the reason I liked squirrels was their cute fluffy tails and their penchant for pizza.

Of course, those things alone are reason enough, @QueenDanceALot.

And then there are those facile little squirrel feet.

Re: Yes

mistriTsquirrel — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 19:31:59 GMT

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@mistriTsquirrel wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@mistriTsquirrel

And here I thought the reason I liked squirrels was their cute fluffy tails and their penchant for pizza.

Of course, those things alone are reason enough, @QueenDanceALot.

And then there are those facile little squirrel feet.

@QueenDanceALot I looked out the window earlier, and my two squirrel friends who live outside were on my deck chairs resting their facile little feet after eating the grapes I put out for them.

Re: Yes

halfpint1 — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 20:31:13 GMT

T am having a bad day eith the noise Ithink I hear ecen if my son doesn't--I can't even wtitre due to xataraxts. I will see the doxtor tomorro. I had bteakfas at my sons It is ao hqrd when I can't have anyone hear what I hear.

Re: Yes

mistriTsquirrel — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 20:38:13 GMT

halfpint1 wrote:
T am having a bad day eith the noise Ithink I hear ecen if my son doesn't--I can't even wtitre due to xataraxts. I will see the doxtor tomorro. I had bteakfas at my sons It is ao hqrd when I can't have anyone hear what I hear.

@halfpint1 I'm wondering if you have an inner ear problem. Ask your doctor about that.

Re: Yes

mistriTsquirrel — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 20:44:08 GMT

@halfpint1 I edited my previous post to you on this thread to make the print larger. I hope you will be able to read it now that the print isn't so small.

Please keep us updated on how you are doing.