topic Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move... in Wellness

How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

terrier3 — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:20:17 GMT

I work with a woman a few years older than I am. She is an office assistant, and spends the day behind a desk.

She has arthritis, high BP, is on coumadin for an irregular heartbeat, and more. She had back surgery about 10 years ago. She is also at least 100 pounds overweight.

She recently has missed a lot of work due to back pain and numbness in her right leg. The doctor diagnosed sciatica and nerve damage and said she might need another operation. She's now on several pain meds. It's tough to watch her suffer. She says the only time the pain lessens is when she is standing.

I have a FitBit HR (the TSV) which has me get up and walk 250 steps if I've been doing desk work for an hour. I have tried to get her to walk with me to the kitchen to get some water...or at least stand. She sometimes does it - and says it makes her back feel better. But she often won't budge and at the end of the day she needs help to walk to her car. She once fell and it took 3 of us to get her up!!!

Is there a positive way to help?

I'm dreading Monday. It's tough to see someone suffer and not be able to do anything to help...

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

GCR18 — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:27:58 GMT

There is not much you can do if she is not willing. She has to want to change. Keep being her friend and inviting her to go get water.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

pigletsmom — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:32:00 GMT

Probably tough to get her moving. Maybe your office could look into the standing desks though. I think I would have to use one of those if I had a desk job.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

tansy — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:33:38 GMT

Don't laugh, @terrier3, but you might see if there are any seated exercise or yoga classes in your area and then volunteer to attend a few with her. Baby steps...

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

Plaid Pants2 — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:49:59 GMT

You can not make her do anything that she does not want to do.

The more that you thry to force her to do something, the more that she is going to resist.

Don't keep harping on it.

Nagging and harping won't work.

Don't try and guilt her either.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

ALRATIBA — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:52:12 GMT

I'm surprised the doctor didn't send her to physical therapy.

In her condition (as you describe it) .... she should be careful about the types of exercises she does. Yoga could also cause additional problems.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

VaBelle35 — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:52:41 GMT

She has to want to help herself. No one can do it for her.

All you can do is live your life and be there if she asks a question. Don't shove your fitbit in her face or make passive aggressive comments about diet and exercise.

People know what they have to do. They have to choose to do it.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

Sooner — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 20:00:26 GMT

Leave the poor woman alone. It isn't like she doesn't know she has these problems is it? Just be nice and let her be. She obviously has issues she can't or won't cope with--and you probably don't know all the story.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

jackthebear — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 20:01:50 GMT

you can't help her

she has to want it

its hard to watch

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

SeaMaiden — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 20:14:27 GMT

@GCR18 wrote:
There is not much you can do if she is not willing. She has to want to change. Keep being her friend and inviting her to go get water.

This is good advise. You can only help her if she wants the help. I am sure she is depressed being in pain and all. If you wanted to gift her with a fit bit type tracker, you could encourage her to start walking with you perhaps.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

terrier3 — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 20:17:16 GMT

@ALRATIBA wrote:
I'm surprised the doctor didn't send her to physical therapy.

In her condition (as you describe it) .... she should be careful about the types of exercises she does. Yoga could also cause additional problems.

The doctor gave her a script for PT...but she says she's in too much pain to go.

I have told her (and other workers have too) that exercise almost always feels bad when you start...but after 10-15 minutes, she would feel better.

No one has mentioned her weight - although when we had to pick her up from the floor after she fell, we knew she was embarassed. We figure that's what her doctor is for - it's HIS job!

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

sidsmom — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 20:27:05 GMT

It's not the moving which is the issue....it's the food.

@terrier3

I understand your concern & passion when you see the simple solution.

That's how I feel when posters on these boards ask for

nutritional help and/or complain about this ache/that ache.

My solution of a low fat plant based diet is such a simple answer,

I can't understand why people don't want this amazingly easy WOE.

But at the need of the day, they have to make their own choices.

Just offer the education & be the inspiration.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

Vivian — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 20:31:06 GMT

I work out M-F. I've been trying to get my elderly mother to move more, She has osteoarthritis and cardiac problems. Her orthopedist and cardiologist have told her to move more. She refuses. Her sedentary behavior is affecting her blood pressure and her arthritis, making both conditions worse. I have given up.

In the case of the O/P, my experience tells me that giving advice, even if right, is a waste of time. Your co-worker has very likely been advised by her health care providers to get moving and she won't do it. She won't thank you for your efforts to help. Just remember that no good deed goes unpunished.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

Moonchilde — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 20:58:50 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
Leave the poor woman alone. It isn't like she doesn't know she has these problems is it? Just be nice and let her be. She obviously has issues she can't or won't cope with--and you probably don't know all the story.

Not only does someone who's a co-worker not know the whole story, they don't know all issues and physical ailments that the person doesn't talk about. And no one really knows another person's pain or discomfort level. I think it's very common to assume, for example, if you have arthritis pain and it's a 3, everyone's arthritis pain must be just like yours. Um, no. For some people it's an 8.

I went to work many days in agony from physical issues that were/are chronic and that nothing could "fix" - I was continually told surgery was not a viable option. It was depressing and demoralizing and I rarely spoke of it unless I was visibly limping and someone asked. I don't know how I did some of what I did, for years, without having a meltdown. But I needed a roof over my head, so I just got on with it.

If someone suggested to me that going out and getting exercise was just the thing, and all my problems would fade away if I would, I really had to bite my tongue not to respond that they could **** off and didn't have a clue. And no, genuinely, it was never said out of sincere concern for me - not once.

My advice? If she "bothers" you, leave her alone. If you genuinely like her, give her that part of you. Be cheerful, friendly, thoughtful and a good listener. Otherwise, leave the poor woman alone - she has enough on her plate.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

RedTop — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 21:35:45 GMT

5 years ago much of this could have been written about me. My knee was bone on bone, and I was miserable. It took every bit of energy within me to get myself into the office; no, I did not want to attend meetings or inservices that were being held in the farthest corner of the hospital. I was barely able to get down the hallway to the bathroom, or around the corner to the cafeteria. At the end of the day, I was in tears by the time I made it to my vehicle, and often parked illegally to shorten the distance I had to walk.

My friends knew I was in pain, but no one truly had a clue how much until I returned to work a different person after my knee replacement.

I think your co-worker is just trying to hang on for as long as she can, before she has to face the fact she must have surgery or stop working because of her health issues.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

Kachina624 — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 21:58:53 GMT

@terrier If she uses a computer, you might tell her about the new type of desk I see advertised that is made to be used standing up. I believe it also adjusts to the sitting position. Perhaps the company would purchase it under the provisions of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

Caligurll — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 22:16:19 GMT

@terrier3 I think you are doing everything you can to help her. Just be her friend and listen to her, and hopefully she will come to you when and if she is ready to accept help.

She needs someone like you in her life, no judgment, just friendship.

High five for you to care about her!

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

phoenixbrd — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 22:18:30 GMT

Being a Role Model speakers louder than words....and if that doesn't inspire her, I would not say much about her condition. She needs to be willing. There are so many people I would like to talk to about health issues, but it is presumptuous if they are not asking for some suggestions. I know your intentions are good, keep up the good work you are doing and spend your energy there. Eventually, without effort, people will take notice and ask what you are doing. Stay strong!

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

NYC Susan — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 05:46:20 GMT

I wouldn't encourage her to move. I would feel that whether she moves or not is her business, not mine. Only she knows what she's capable of, her level of pain, what alleviates it, etc. If she chooses not to move, that's a choice she's allowed to make.

I would treat her the way I would treat any other co-worker. Smiling and friendly, and ready to listen if she wants to talk or if she asks for advice or help. She's probably struggling emotionally as well as physically, and the last thing she needs is to feel singled out, judged, or criticized, no matter how well-intentioned you are and how kind you may be.

You know her personality and your relationship with her better than any of us here do. But my advice would be to simply just be nice to her. Maybe she'll come to you for help, but until then I would take a step back from encouraging her to move.

Re: How to Encourage a Co-Worker to Move...

hckynut — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 06:30:40 GMT

@terrier3

It has been my experiences, with co-workers and others the following. If an when they realize that it is themselves that want to better their physical life, a majority of the time, there is nothing anyone else can do.

I worked in a very hot and "hazard to your health" factory, and it involved very hard and heavy work. Some of my co-workers I could describe as similar to the one you mention, except they were not on thinners, and I was the only one that had back surgery.

They were overweight/high blood pressure/considered our job as e exercise, and were exhausted at the end our shift. Some had to stop and rest walking to their cars in our huge parking lot.

Some often referred to me as "the exercise nut", and unless one of them asked my for suggestions on how they could get in better physical condition, it was not my place to bring it up. The majority of the co-workers that worked that particular job have died, from a variety of different causes.

Could I have done anything to help them? Only if they had asked.

hckynut(john)