topic Re: Finding New Meaning in Wellness

Finding New Meaning

NycVixen — Fri, 19 May 2017 18:51:07 GMT

I'm not sure if this is the correct place for this post. I wanted to begin a conversation about what has helped me to finally shift my attention from acquiring material items for the sake of to finding new meaning, purpose and utility from other more healthier sources.

First of all, I'll state that I've been going through a very difficult time trying to have a baby since 2015. That struggle definitely was a main reason why my shopping got really out of hand since then. However, Since September of last year, I was able to make significant change.

I began to change my mindset little by little. I am a lover of beautiful things mostly jewelry, handbags and outerwear. It was hard for me to say no to acquiring just 'one more' because my thinking was of how that item would increase my happiness and therefore I justified the expenditure. However, it was never 'just one more' but many more.

I began to focus on how my spending was making other people rich and myself poorer. I began to focus on how having more savings would allow me to really do and have the things that I dream of and therefore would in the long run bring me true happiness. Things such as being able to travel to places I dream of or take more cruises. Buying the house of my dreams. Relocate to a place I'd rather live. Help others. Importantly, how increased savings would empower me as a woman and a person.

Re: Finding New Meaning

NycVixen — Fri, 19 May 2017 18:55:33 GMT

Significantly, in tandem to this change of mindset was my a renewed focus on my health. I began to eat healthier by consuming less and less red meat and more vegetables, fruit and whole grains. Since I was shopping less, I was able to finally invest in a Vitamix. I also began to cook with more interest and pride in becoming a better cook.

I began to exercise every day in earnest. I began with power yoga and I just bought a stationary exercise bike which I love to use each day. I drink more water. I also began to meditate every day using the Headspace app. This has helped me to train to control my thoughts so I can find peace, motivation and to have better interpersonal relationships.

Now, when I think of buying anything, I actually find joy in not going through with the purchase if it's not something that I really need or want. I weigh and think about how that purchase will add value to my life, how it will just add clutter to my apt and how I can really live without it. Seeing my bank account go up by simply being mindful of what I spend money on has been life changing. When we are in the fog of spending we minimize how much money we just kind of throw away. Yet, when you stop, the impact is immediate.

Sorry this is so long. I truly hope that my experience and how I overcame mindless shopping can really help many of you as well. The important thing is to realize change happens a little at a time. Whenever I do make the decision to indulge, it's in something that really adds meaning and is worth the expense and all the energy and time that making that purchase takes. It's not only money but time out of our lives that we expend buying things that don't really make us happy. Using that time, effort and capital to achieve the things that you really want and need, I find is what leads to increased happiness and well being.

Re: Finding New Meaning

software — Fri, 19 May 2017 18:55:50 GMT

@NycVixen Life is a journey, a process. We all move through life, setting and re-setting our priorities. I enjoyed reading your posts and wish you well in your continued journey

Re: Finding New Meaning

Still keeper of the koi — Fri, 19 May 2017 18:58:21 GMT

@NycVixen, it is so empowering to find what life is about...It often takes a struggle to open our eyes ,hearts and minds.Peace of mind is priceless.I often look at expensive things by saying how much physically is sacraficed to earn that money, mine or my husbands.Would i rather have that time or that trinket?I have a feeling life will fall into place the way it should in lifes time frame not ours..Good luck, peace and happiness....Hugs , Maryanne

Re: Finding New Meaning

meallen616 — Fri, 19 May 2017 19:01:53 GMT

Re: Finding New Meaning

qualitygal — Fri, 19 May 2017 19:14:51 GMT

It all begins with your first step. You're on your way, good luck, you're doing good.

Re: Finding New Meaning

SilleeMee — Fri, 19 May 2017 19:21:00 GMT

I found "new meaning" when I had to retire from my loved career. Disability has taken me to much different place in life that I never would have expected in a million years. At one point I thought I had it all. Now I couldn't care less about what my money can or can't buy. I have found true happiness in simplifying my life...all aspects of it. When I was much younger healthy person, my mother told me you don't have anything unless you have your health first....so true.

Re: Finding New Meaning

sidsmom — Fri, 19 May 2017 19:40:55 GMT

@NycVixen

Sounds like you're in a really good space!

Stay strong...and focused.

Look forward to your future posts.

👍🌼

Re: Finding New Meaning

happycat — Fri, 19 May 2017 19:42:39 GMT

You are so right, not sure of your age, but you seem very mature and intuitive.

Many years ago, I was diagnosed with a very serious health issue. Had to quit my job, and had two major surgeries, and just knowing that we had money in our savings account was priceless.

Money isn't everything, but the piece of mind it can bring, is worth a million in my opinion.

Not that I'd know. I don't have a million

Anyway, my best to you.

Re: Finding New Meaning

Trinity11 — Fri, 19 May 2017 20:11:45 GMT

@NycVixen Such a beautifully written thread and some wonderful contributions.

I had my second heart attack thirteen days ago. All that was important to me while I reviewed my life was my family and friends and things were the last on my list of importance. Cultivate good friendships, let the people you love know it. Tomorrow is never promised and material possessions really take a back seat in the scheme of things...

Re: Finding New Meaning

hoosieroriginal — Fri, 19 May 2017 20:31:52 GMT

@NycVixen wrote:
I'm not sure if this is the correct place for this post. I wanted to begin a conversation about what has helped me to finally shift my attention from acquiring material items for the sake of to finding new meaning, purpose and utility from other more healthier sources.

First of all, I'll state that I've been going through a very difficult time trying to have a baby since 2015. That struggle definitely was a main reason why my shopping got really out of hand since then. However, Since September of last year, I was able to make significant change.

I began to change my mindset little by little. I am a lover of beautiful things mostly jewelry, handbags and outerwear. It was hard for me to say no to acquiring just 'one more' because my thinking was of how that item would increase my happiness and therefore I justified the expenditure. However, it was never 'just one more' but many more.

I began to focus on how my spending was making other people rich and myself poorer. I began to focus on how having more savings would allow me to really do and have the things that I dream of and therefore would in the long run bring me true happiness. Things such as being able to travel to places I dream of or take more cruises. Buying the house of my dreams. Relocate to a place I'd rather live. Help others. Importantly, how increased savings would empower me as a woman and a person.

@NycVixen - I totally agree with you - when you finally start purging things from your life, your mind is clearer - you start to realize that "things" aren't what make you happy. Then you start to realize how much larger your bank account could be if you hadn't bought all that "stuff". I have reached that place in my life - clothes, jewelry, shoes, none of it means a thing to me anymore - I have given away everything but the basics in my house. I feel so much lighter and my bank account is in such better shape. Shopping on a daily basis is "mindless spending". I always ask myself, "do I need it, or do I want it". I replenish things as I run out, I try not to hoard anything.

Re: Finding New Meaning

dex — Fri, 19 May 2017 20:48:10 GMT

@Trinity11 perfectly said.I hope you are doing well now.You will have to take special care of yourself and do what it takes to be strong.So happy that the heart attack didn't take the fight out of you and you are here to post with us....thank you for the reminder to take time for family and friends and how important they are n our lives.

Re: Finding New Meaning

LTT1 — Sun, 21 May 2017 13:50:09 GMT

@NycVixen

Thank you for your post.

When I make the choice to NOT purchase an item, it is part of a shift in thinking from the standpoint of "collecting."

I have to think of a collection of items as representative of what? and then I picture them needing "upkeep."(dusting, washing, sorting, storing)

The "collecting" mindset is not helpful toward making my days count.

I like your sign off line "live with intention."

For instance, my goal when first retiring was to "re-capture" lost time. I did this sub-consciously.

Who can ever do this? We cannot; and more importantly I really don't want to try and "recapture" lost time. I want to enjoy my world as it has been given to me NOW.

Your post helped me put this in perspective.

Re: Finding New Meaning

Trinity11 — Fri, 19 May 2017 20:56:32 GMT

@dex wrote:
@Trinity11 perfectly said.I hope you are doing well now.You will have to take special care of yourself and do what it takes to be strong.So happy that the heart attack didn't take the fight out of you and you are here to post with us....thank you for the reminder to take time for family and friends and how important they are n our lives.

I am blessed. There was no damage this time. I was assured that I will have a new lease on life if I take the meds and eat very healthy.

Thanks for the well wishes. I really appreciate it.

Re: Finding New Meaning

dex — Fri, 19 May 2017 21:01:42 GMT

@NycVixen I know the frustration of not conceiving.I had countless expensive surgeries while other women in the hospital were ending their pregnancies.It seemed that life was really unfair to me and overly generous to those who didn't appreciate their blessings.It was easy to make myself feel better for a moment by shopping too.I never was able to conceive but we did adopt the most wonderful baby boy.His birth mom was fourteen when he was born.She was an amazing young woman and wanted more for her baby than she could offer at that time.She asked us to be present at birth and I have to say that I felt so much love for her and our baby that day he was born.I am forever grateful to her for the greatest gift a person can receive.

Re: Finding New Meaning

x Hedge — Fri, 19 May 2017 21:14:20 GMT

In other words, you've started to make some choices consciously rather than reflexively, and with that comes a need to prioritize beyond the often impulsive, 'I want'.
Welcome to adulthood.

Re: Finding New Meaning

NycVixen — Fri, 19 May 2017 21:15:09 GMT

@Trinity11 wrote:
@NycVixen Such a beautifully written thread and some wonderful contributions.

I had my second heart attack thirteen days ago. All that was important to me while I reviewed my life was my family and friends and things were the last on my list of importance. Cultivate good friendships, let the people you love know it. Tomorrow is never promised and material possessions really take a back seat in the scheme of things...

Wow @Trinity11. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Many thanks for taking the time to write and for your kind words. My husband is always telling me that I write well but it's hard for me to take a compliment due to having a really critical mother.

Love is so important yet it's the one thing that gets trampled on and taken for granted the most. I hope you continue find yourself surrounded with all the love and support necessary to facilitate a speedy recovery . God bless .

Re: Finding New Meaning

NycVixen — Fri, 19 May 2017 21:29:44 GMT

@LTT1 wrote:
@NycVixen

Thank you for your post.
When I make the choice to NOT purchase an item, it is part of a shift in thinking from the standpoint of "collecting."

I have to think of a collection of items as representative of what? and then I picture them needing "upkeep."(dusting, washing, sorting, storing)

That mindset is not helpful toward making my days count.
I like your sign off line "live with intention."

For instance, my goal when first retiring was to "re-capture" lost time. I did this sub-consciously.

Who can ever do this? We cannot and more importantly I really don't want to. I want to enjoy my world as it has been given to me NOW.

Your post helped me put this in perspective.

@LTT1 I'm so happy to hear that my post helped you. That brings me joy. My signature line is a motto I embraced a few years ago but really came into it's own since I made these changes.

Collecting can be a beautiful thing but it can definitely get out of hand. I strongly recommend meditation.

As human beings, we are either stuck thinking about the past or the future but seldomly on the present; we need to take steps daily to make the future happen and we can't change the past. As a result, unbeknown to us, we stop moving forward. Being aware of how you feel and being mindful of your thoughts helps to regain a sense of calm and focus so we can be present in the now, which will ultimately dictate our future

Re: Finding New Meaning

LilacTree — Fri, 19 May 2017 21:33:39 GMT

@dex wrote:
@NycVixen I know the frustration of not conceiving.I had countless expensive surgeries while other women in the hospital were ending their pregnancies.It seemed that life was really unfair to me and overly generous to those who didn't appreciate their blessings.It was easy to make myself feel better for a moment by shopping too.I never was able to conceive but we did adopt the most wonderful baby boy.His birth mom was fourteen when he was born.She was an amazing young woman and wanted more for her baby than she could offer at that time.She asked us to be present at birth and I have to say that I felt so much love for her and our baby that day he was born.I am forever grateful to her for the greatest gift a person can receive.

@dex

A prime example of "If you love someone let him go." This young girl had the courage to let her child live and give him to you so he could experience all that life has to offer.

I didn't know this about you, Whatnow, but now I do. This was a beautiful gift, for all of you.

Re: Finding New Meaning

NycVixen — Fri, 19 May 2017 21:37:06 GMT

@x Hedge wrote:
In other words, you've started to make some choices consciously rather than reflexively, and with that comes a need to prioritize beyond the often impulsive, 'I want'.
Welcome to adulthood.

@x Hedge Not necessarily. It was mostly due to the pain I was going through suffering pregnancy loss and not receiving the love and support I needed to deal with the sadness and depression. Shopping allowed me to have a distraction and I have to admit it did help but it's not healthy.

I would urge you to try to remain open minded when someone is honest about their experience and is trying to share to help others. Sharing is not easy. Judging sometimes is too easy.