topic Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery in Wellness

Preparing emotionally for surgery

ccassaday — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 03:05:34 GMT

In two weeks I go in to have the bone cleaned out in my tmj joints and have spacers put in. I then will go back a few months later to have the new joint put in. I am scared to death. I just want to cry. Any advice on how to stay calm and not get anxious before surgery. I have so much to look forward to after it's over. We should be breaking ground on our house shortly after my surgery. I just can't calm my self and am so scared.

Three years ears ago I ended up in the hospital for three months with a infection. You would think that this would be a piece of cake. I will be in the hospital for one to two nights. But the thing about that is it happened so quick I didn't have time to worry about it. I have to much time to think about this and I am freaked out.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

KLm — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 04:02:24 GMT

I sympathize. Fear is normal when facing these serious procedures. Sometimes though, we have to endure them. That's where courage comes in.

I don't know if relaxation techniques would help or going to your "happy place" mentally (if you have one) would calm you at all.

When I faced medical challenges, I just put one foot in front of the other and step by step I made it through. But I had few choices. I guess it was a form of mind control for me. Try to imagine yourself on the other side of all this, how much better your quality of life will be. And when the fears rear up, as they will, reimagine your future happy self. I truly hope this helps.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

RedTop — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 04:13:15 GMT

@ccassaday,

I too am weeks away from surgery; 5 years after my first joint replacement, my other knee is ready for surgery. Things are very different this time, as I'm ready to just have the procedure now, and not let myself get into the very painful stages I suffered through the first time. I'm retired and want to live this stage of my life on my feet, not sitting in a chair because of the pain and discomfort.

I am busy cleaning my house, stocking the freezer and pantry with food, and getting my bag packed to do this again. I well remember the pain, the sleepless nights when I just couldn't get comfortable, and the PT sessions that took up so much time, but yet I'm ready to do it all over again, because I remember the wonderful feeling immediately after surgery when I realized the stress and tension in my knee was gone.

I worked 27 years in the hospital where I'm having my surgery. I well know the risks, the what ifs, and what can happen, but I also know this bad knee stands between me and what I want. Attitude is everything, and my attitude is that I will do my very best to have another good surgery and recovery experience.

I come from a family of anxious and nervous people. I choose to face my issues, deal with my challenges, and keep moving forward living my life. I'm sorry you are scared and worried about your upcoming procedure, and hope you find a way to find the confidence you need. If you choose to spend the next 2 weeks worrying, you will only have wasted time that you can't get back. Focus on getting this done and moving forward. Best wishes to you with your procedure!

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

KLm — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 04:28:04 GMT

Good luck to both of you! Nice post @RedTop. Well said. ITA.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

ccassaday — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 04:30:10 GMT

Thanks. Those post really help. There is a slight chance it still may get postponed. As a few weeks ago it was still pending with the insurance. I will be calling tomorrow to see if it has been approved yet. I have a checkup at the doctors tuesday so I also need to find out what I need from him Tuesday. I have such mixed emotions. I am ready and anxious to get it over with and move on to getting moved in to our new house. It's a exciting time but also a scary time. Then the next minute I am scared to death. I need to focus on all the fun things that will be happening after surgery. Because it is going to be a very fun summer.

Kind of a funny story. We are taking out the shower room we turned our dining room into when I moved in. It will be going back to a dining room to sell the house. We have decided to stay while the house is for sale. We have a hot market so we fully expect it to be sold within a couple days. But that means I have no shower and I have to go to my sisters to shower. So it's kind of good timing because I am sure I won't be wanting a shower very often after surgery.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

dooBdoo — Tue, 04 Apr 2017 13:09:01 GMT

@ccassaday, I really can understand because I was a champion worrier for years, and I still have to work at calling a halt to it when I feel the worry machine start up in my head. When I was a child, I had a couple of difficult medical experiences and became unreasonably fearful of doctors and all medical settings... if I can turn around such worries, I know you can. 😊 I've had surgeries and procedures along the way. And, ironically, I've ended up working most of my life in hospitals. Taking the Dale Carnegie course opened my eyes to the destructive nature of worry and the fact that we truly can learn to control it, and one of the books we read is a practical guide: "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living." It's old... but still popular because it's effective and wise.

The anticipation of most things is far, far worse than the actual event. And our mind is powerful... so it's essential to learn how to use it for the positive, and make it work for us instead of against us. Methods such as biofeedback, positive imagery, and breathing techniques can be life-changing, and a good therapist can help you make these a natural part of your daily life -- please ask your doctor about these. I know some people dislike quotations, maxims, dismiss the value of "platitudes," but the fact is that many of them are still with us because they are true and applicable. I found they often were the inspirations or the "light bulbs" I needed to awaken my brain and change my destructive thought patterns. So keep your eyes open for inspirational quotes and positive affirmations.

Here are some practical statistics about worries that can help us to see them more clearly and realize they're not serving us well:

"~ 40% of the things we worry about never actually happen.
~ 30% of the things have already happened and there is nothing we can do about it.
~ 12% are needless worries about health. Worrying actually counteracts the efforts we put into good health. It creates internal chemical reactions that result in negative physiological maladies over time.
~ 10% are trivial and miscellaneous issues.
~ 8% (if that) are real worries, of which only half are something we can do about, while the other half we can only do a little about."

Also, I love this quote and I've learned that it's true:

"Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength -- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie ten Boom

Sending you good wishes. My faith is a significant component of overcoming worry... so I send not only positive thoughts but also prayers for you and for your health care team. All will be well... I just know it.❤️

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

KingstonsMom — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 13:51:55 GMT

@ccassaday wrote:
Thanks. Those post really help. There is a slight chance it still may get postponed. As a few weeks ago it was still pending with the insurance. I will be calling tomorrow to see if it has been approved yet. I have a checkup at the doctors tuesday so I also need to find out what I need from him Tuesday. I have such mixed emotions. I am ready and anxious to get it over with and move on to getting moved in to our new house. It's a exciting time but also a scary time. Then the next minute I am scared to death. I need to focus on all the fun things that will be happening after surgery. Because it is going to be a very fun summer.

Kind of a funny story. We are taking out the shower room we turned our dining room into when I moved in. It will be going back to a dining room to sell the house. We have decided to stay while the house is for sale. We have a hot market so we fully expect it to be sold within a couple days. But that means I have no shower and I have to go to my sisters to shower. So it's kind of good timing because I am sure I won't be wanting a shower very often after surgery.

@ccassaday

Your excitement and enthusiasm about your new home is obvious and maybe that's your ticket?

When you find yourself worrying about the surgery, replace that worry with thinking about all of the plans you have for your new bedroom and new home!

You'll be able to have things much more accessible to you, what will you put where? What color scheme do you want in your room? What wall art/pictures will you choose and where will they go? New bedding? What kind, what color?

I wish you the best with your upcoming surgery!

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

Shaunac — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 14:17:03 GMT

Crying and/or worrying won't change the outcome of the surgery. Just let go. There's nothing you can do about it. Worrying creates stress and that is not good for the body and especially the mind.

Good Luck

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

IamMrsG — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 16:40:08 GMT

The discussion of religion is not permitted in these forums. The conversation in this thread is about conquering an evil crippling fear. Faith, as I understand it, is about connection with an energy we call Love. In that vein I offer this advice and hope it does not get skewed along the way by another energy, the one we call Hate.
_____

I once had to face a monster in my life. I heard a sermon just prior to its arrival, before I knew it was coming. It is decades later and I still firmly believe this message is what got me through the ordeal: In the story of David and Goliath, when little David had to face the giant, he went out and deliberately selected five stones to hurl. The first one he used got the job done. When you have a giant in your life, choose five verses, “stones,” to hurl at it every time it raises its ugly head. Hurl them as often as you need.

So that this post does not get deemed as ‘religious,’ by all means, choose your stones from whichever source you find wisdom and strength, whatever bolsters your spirit. Mine came from the Bible. There are several that talk about faith making you well/whole, but the one verse that killed my giant was Philippians 2:10.

I wish you peace of mind and health, @ccassaday.

Edited to correct a typo.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 14:38:49 GMT

I was in agony before my gallbladder removal surgery, and while surgery scared me some, the pain I was in made that fear pale in comparison.

So think about why you're doing they surgery and what the benefits are. If the benefits don't outweigh the risks and the fear, then reconsider the surgery

And talk to your surgeon. He or she should have fully explained every step of the procedure to you. If he didn't, make an appointment and make sure that happens. I did a lot of research on the surgery in between my diagnosis and my meeting with the surgeon, including watching some videos that walked through the entire process. That helped me get a better understanding of what would happen and prepared me to ask better questions when I met with the surgeon. He explained everything that would happen and what he would be doing and what might happen if there were complications and it matched everthing I'd read and heard, so that made me feel better, too. And before I left, I asked him what would happen if I didn't do they surgery. In my case, he said that if I didn't have scheduled surgery, I would likely wind up having emergency surgery that would mean more cutting, bigger scars, more pain, and a much longer recovery time. I also talked to a friend who had that emergency surgery for a galbladder removal and it sounded as bad as the doctor said. I scheduled the surgery that day.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

ccassaday — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 14:39:45 GMT

You guys are I need to think about the positives after surgery like the house. My parents have already been approved for the loan and they should be finalizing the blue prints this week. Then all the bank has to do is do the appraisel on the bid. So it shouldn't be to much longer before we start.

The post above is right. Things are usually never as bad as what you expect them to be. The unknown going into something is almost always what drives a fear.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

ccassaday — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 14:44:39 GMT

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
I was in agony before my gallbladder removal surgery, and while surgery scared me some, the pain I was in made that fear pale in comparison.

So think about why you're doing they surgery and what the benefits are. If the benefits don't outweigh the risks and the fear, then reconsider the surgery

And talk to your surgeon. He or she should have fully explained every step of the procedure to you. If he didn't, make an appointment and make sure that happens. I did a lot of research on the surgery in between my diagnosis and my meeting with the surgeon, including watching some videos that walked through the entire process. That helped me get a better understanding of what would happen and prepared me to ask better questions when I met with the surgeon. He explained everything that would happen and what he would be doing and what might happen if there were complications and it matched everthing I'd read and heard, so that made me feel better, too. And before I left, I asked him what would happen if I didn't do they surgery. In my case, he said that if I didn't have scheduled surgery, I would likely wind up having emergency surgery that would mean more cutting, bigger scars, more pain, and a much longer recovery time. I also talked to a friend who had that emergency surgery for a galbladder removal and it sounded as bad as the doctor said. I scheduled the surgery that day.

The surgeon I have is very good. She spent so much time with us. Never rushed us. I go back on the 13th right before surgery. I am sure she will go over everything again. She is a very young surgeon. My guess around the age of 35. She is the only one in Indiana that does the surgery.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 16:52:17 GMT

@ccassaday wrote:
In two weeks I go in to have the bone cleaned out in my tmj joints and have spacers put in. I then will go back a few months later to have the new joint put in. I am scared to death. I just want to cry. Any advice on how to stay calm and not get anxious before surgery. I have so much to look forward to after it's over. We should be breaking ground on our house shortly after my surgery. I just can't calm my self and am so scared.

Three years ears ago I ended up in the hospital for three months with a infection. You would think that this would be a piece of cake. I will be in the hospital for one to two nights. But the thing about that is it happened so quick I didn't have time to worry about it. I have to much time to think about this and I am freaked out.

@ccassaday

Wow. I'm sorry you're having this reaction .... do you ordinarily have problems with anxiety?

If you have done your homework, and have faith in the doctors, why not let them worry about your surgery?

I once read that "Worry is vividly and emotionally picturing life as you DON'T want it to happen".

I've had 3 major surgeries, and several "procedures" over the years. I think trusting your doctors and having a support person is the way to go.

For your own sake, please stop with the negative indulgence. You'll be in good hands ..... have faith in your doctors.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

ccassaday — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:01:13 GMT

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@ccassaday wrote:
In two weeks I go in to have the bone cleaned out in my tmj joints and have spacers put in. I then will go back a few months later to have the new joint put in. I am scared to death. I just want to cry. Any advice on how to stay calm and not get anxious before surgery. I have so much to look forward to after it's over. We should be breaking ground on our house shortly after my surgery. I just can't calm my self and am so scared.

Three years ears ago I ended up in the hospital for three months with a infection. You would think that this would be a piece of cake. I will be in the hospital for one to two nights. But the thing about that is it happened so quick I didn't have time to worry about it. I have to much time to think about this and I am freaked out.
@ccassaday

Wow. I'm sorry you're having this reaction .... do you ordinarily have problems with anxiety?

If you have done your homework, and have faith in the doctors, why not let them worry about your surgery?

I once read that "Worry is vividly and emotionally picturing life as you DON'T want it to happen".

I've had 3 major surgeries, and several "procedures" over the years. I think trusting your doctors and having a support person is the way to go.

For your own sake, please stop with the negative indulgence. You'll be in good hands ..... have faith in your doctors.

The crazy thing is I don't usually get anxious about things. Except medical things.

Just got off the phone with the doctors. Everything has been approved and its all set. I have to be there at 7 for a 9 am surgery.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

AndiCat — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:38:00 GMT

Wishing you a speedy recovery and hope you find joy in planning for your new home.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

sfnative — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:38:01 GMT

@ccassaday

Prior to my husband's double hernia surgery, his anxiety was ramping up. I came home one day from work to find him on the sofa just staring at the wall, hugging a pillow. That did it.

He never talks about anything bothering him, but, boy, was it evident. I sat down and started to talk to talk to him in order to assess his level of anxiety. Well, on a scale of 0-10, I'd say he was at least an 8, so I told him I was going to call his surgeon's office, indicate as such and get an anti-anxiety drug prescribed for him.

This was on late Monday afternoon. His surgery was scheduled for Friday that week. A drug was prescribed, he balked a bit at taking it, until I gave him the low-down on the physiological effects of going into surgery a nervous wreck. By Thursday morning, he said, "I don't care about anything." That's the best answer!

If I were in your shoes, I'd call my surgeon's office, tell them how high your anxiety level is and tell them you need something to ramp down this condition, as you're a nervous wreck. On the phone, be to the point and if the person talking to you isn't interested in your plight, tell that person that you're NOT a drug-seeking 19 year old. You're a pre-op patient with a bad case of anxiety which is not common for you. If you still get hit with a brick wall, do 2 things:

1. Write the surgeon a letter. Tell him/her how insensitive the staff person was to your pre-op needs;

2. Call your PCP and make the request of this person;

3. If this fails and you have a Neuro, make the request of this person.

Good luck!

p.s. Please know that all of the drug abusers and drug seekers in the U.S. are making it extremely difficult for ANYONE to get many types of medications required, even on a short term basis such as your need. I wouldn't hesitate to bring up this. subject.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

ccassaday — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 18:00:26 GMT

I am going to do a little of retail therapy. I am going to get a cute duffle bag to pack my stuff in. I also need some pajamas that button up. All of mine pull over the head. They recommend button up so your not hurting your face. So maybe a little fun shopping will also help. Why o why do Victoria secret Panamas cost so much. Cute but no way.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

Oznell — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 19:09:06 GMT

Ccassaday, hoping that all the good feedback you've gotten is helpful. I have been a "basket case" before surgeries before, and understand. Deep slow breathing helped me a lot. There is tons on the internet about simple breathing techniques to relax. Since I have a Christian world view, repeating the 23rd Psalm to myself helped me to calm down and accept what was happening.

I hope you will not mind if I add you to my prayer list for your regained serenity and complete recovery.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

KingstonsMom — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 19:16:33 GMT

My Grandma used to say that worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair.......it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.

I think there's some truth in that.

Re: Preparing emotionally for surgery

Tinkrbl44 — Tue, 04 Apr 2017 16:40:40 GMT

@ccassaday wrote:
I am going to do a little of retail therapy. I am going to get a cute duffle bag to pack my stuff in. I also need some pajamas that button up. All of mine pull over the head. They recommend button up so your not hurting your face. So maybe a little fun shopping will also help. Why o why do Victoria secret Panamas cost so much. Cute but no way.

@ccassaday

I hope you're doing better!