topic Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor) in Home

Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

homedecor1 — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:24:41 GMT

a very good friend of mine built a beautiful new home moved in and decorated fully the month of November. She knew she wanted a light, airy & beach theme. During the building process we did ALOT of shopping, deciding what she could use from her previous home & purchased new furniture to enhance her home. Everything is beautiful, well appointed & beach theme.

our good friend relocated to same community 2 blocks away and had NOTHING as this is 2nd home (winter). She came and stayed with her for awhile waiting for her

closing, of course, shopped with her too!

Fast forward, this friend stated "I really don't want anyone to stop by or come in my home til it's completely furnished". No problem....

OMG, imagine our surprise she decorated her home almost exactly (furniture, drapes, theme) as my friend!

My friend is so angry - of course, she told her "thanks for the compliment that I have good taste but I don't want to walk into your home and see mine". The other friend said "it's ridiculous your so upset about it". They had words and believe it or not, after this she went out & bought the exact kitchen & patio furniture.

I think you can figure out the rest of the story...friendship over😥

Of course, I'm friends with both of them and I'm just wondering "would you be upset or flattered".

I know I would be annoyed if she was my "neighbor" but it's the "principle" that she doesn't seem to get my other friend being upset over this & she feels she should be flattered! Ugh....🤔

Forgot to add in my original post: I wouldn't really care personally because I think it's nice of her to think I had good taste, and frankly, I was the first one to have some of these pieces in my own home!

i hope I explained this so you could understand & give me your opinion -- I'm feeling a little stressed over it as we've been friends for 25+ years (really puts me in middle)! Thank goodness I live 2 hours away...lol

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

ccassaday — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:17:01 GMT

I think it's silly to be upset. So she liked her decor so much she got the same thing. What's the big deal. Ruining a long friendship over this is silly.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

Desertdi — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:20:23 GMT

Stay "neutral"...........(don't get involved)

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

homedecor1 — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:25:22 GMT

@Desertdi

im so trying🙃😉

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

Desertdi — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:28:54 GMT

@homedecor1 wrote:
@Desertdi

im so trying🙃😉

@homedecor1 I know it's difficult............I had a friend who used to "one-up" me all the time. House, car, jewelry...........she always had to have a bigger and more expensive version...........

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

PurpleBunny — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:30:32 GMT

I'd be upset. My SIL used to copy everything I did and then act

Iike she had "NO idea." It got old fast. The only satisfaction I got was that after the divorce, my BIL confirmed that she DID copy me! Ha!

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

homedecor1 — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:39:06 GMT

@Desertdi

I hear ya!!!!

Sometimes I wonder & geezzzzz this week I've had more than I could ever imagine ... I'm glad I stayed "quiet" for once!!! Lol

😏

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

sandraskates — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:35:08 GMT

I remember when I was in junior high my friend and I used to do a lot of embroidery. One time I copied her and emboidered the same hockey mascot because I thought it was really cute. She was NOT HAPPY. So I can understand the copied woman's feelings.

I am wondering though: you said the theme is airy and beachy.

Is this a beach area? If so, then my observation is that home decor tends to follow that type of theme in beach areas. Same in mountain cabins - they tend to be decorated in a woodsy / homey way.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

homedecor1 — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:46:49 GMT

@sandraskates

yes and another thing is almost every furniture store sells some slight variation -- most stores here carry coastal / beach theme!

This is is what I selected for my home only with different tables, lamps, but, I did love the accent pieces (and I found them at other stores 2/3 of the cost!)

Living room (top pic), family room (bottom pic)

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

GenXmuse — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:47:27 GMT

I'd be bewildered for sure but not so upset I'd let it ruin the friendship.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

Big Joanie — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:47:41 GMT

I certainly hope this is the worst thing your friend has to handle on this journey called life ....

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

Sooner — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:48:02 GMT

Of course the second friend knew exactly what she was doing and that it would make the other friend mad. She wouldn't have hidden her activities otherwise. It was mean and underhanded.

If you want to be friends with both of them, talk about something else when you are together with one or the other. Otherwise, it is between them and not you.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

PurpleBunny — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 04:52:12 GMT

Anyone remember that Frasier episode where his boss so admired his decor, that he completely, 100% copied Frasier's apartment? Then the boss has his apartment featured in a design magazine?

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

homedecor1 — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 12:00:40 GMT

@Big Joanie

yup that's what I say...of course, I tried to stay out of it! Goodness it's furniture ... but being rationale right now isn't happening - lol! Thank you for your input! 🙂

@PurpleBunny

never watched Frazier but her home could probably be in a magazine! Now that's a compliment !!! Thank you for pointing that out!🙂

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

qualitygal — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 12:22:49 GMT

You reminded me of something like that from a long time ago. Person A had great taste and Person B no taste at all but admired A so much, she went out and bought same as A.

I know it happens and doesn't mean anything bad, except B needed a lot of help. This had to do with clothing (office) not home. It happens...

For you, do things with one, not both at the same time. When you're with one, don't discuss the other. In time, maybe they'll become friends again. That happens too.

Good luck.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

Peaches McPhee — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 12:40:41 GMT

I think your first friend is way over-reacting, and is showing her petty side.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

faeriemoon — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 12:41:30 GMT

I'd be miffed if someone copied my decor to that degree. Decorating is kind of my thing, and I wouldn't want my ideas ripped off.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

queendiva — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 13:00:38 GMT

Your friend who did the copying is very insensitive. Copied the mutual "friend" by moving to the same community (ok) and then bought same decor and some same furnishings. Then invites her to see the place and wonders why she's miffed?

Copier should have been upfront with the friend from the start and asked for her help and decorating advice from the start. Copier breached your friend's trust. Kinda like stealing intellectual property, in a way. It was dishonest. Clearly, you will have to remain friends separately with these women. Trust was broken, without apology. That's no kind of friend.

You might want to think about the copycat as a friend of yours. She seems quite immature and lacking confidence as well as lacking empathy.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

alicedee — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 13:11:12 GMT

Hard to say without knowing the people. If Friend #2 was motivated by trying to "one up" her friend....then I understand #1's anger. But if was done simply because #2 admired it so much...then it wouldn't bother me...probably just an inward eye roll!

it will be hard to stay neutral, but try! If the motivations weren't bad, it will blow over in time.

Re: Opinions please on this situation (friends & new home decor)

birkin baby — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 13:23:44 GMT

I realize this seems like a big deal... one good friend "copying" another. It has ended a friendship, and you are trying to figure out what to do and how to react.

As someone who has lost her two best friends to sudden deaths, I think it is a most trivial thing. I would give anything to have my friends back. They could copy ANYTHING about me!