topic Re: It's Over in Home

It's Over

Mistreatedbycs — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 03:11:49 GMT

Closing was last week, so it's over. Never could I even imagine that house being sold, just seems like last week that we as a family lived there and everything was all OK. The time has gone by and both my mom and dad are gone, my other siblings somewhere and living their own life, the entire family structure gone.

As suggested, I did stop in every room and say goodbye. The house needed another family, it was a family home, not for someone single. It needs attention, I just can't believe how a house starts to fall apart once somebody isn't living in it. It wasn't like I didn't take care of it, didn't open the windows, keep it clean etc. it just needs a lot of love and I couldn't dedicate myself to it.

I do have the memories, that oven made the most delicious dinners, baked the best home made baked goods, broiled the best lamb chops. That stove cooked the best soups, fried the best french fries, made the most delicious beef stew. I sure hope both the stove and oven does the same for the new owners.

I put the check in the bank and it does feel final, I turned over the keys and I'm sure they'll do their own thing to the house. I'm not going to drive by, I won't put myself through that. I've had some friends that told me how many trucks were there and how many people helping to move in, but I'm not interested. If the text messages continue, I will be polite and say, thank you but that was a part of my life that was in the past and I need to move on.

Life goes on, I know it was just a building with 4 walls but it was my home.

Re: It's Over

tedEbear — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 03:34:07 GMT

JustBling----How long Did you live there? I totally know the feelings you are having. Nearly 50yrs of FAMILY, sad, happy parties, babies born, Holidays and neighborhood parties. All the pets through, dogs mostly, but 1 duck, 1 opossum, Big giant spider, chipmunk, and dozens of baby white mice.

I feel such sadness for the younger generations, they won't have those things, those wonderful memories. Everything is disposable. I still remember the phone number that went from party line to private line. Occasionally I call the number to say hello. Crazy right there.

Many blessings for your new road to travel.---tedEbear

Re: It's Over

Julie928 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 03:49:19 GMT

After reading your post I can feel how difficult this is for you and I completely understand. You are correct ~ life does go on but that doesn't make things any easier. Just the other day I was thinking about how different everything was when I was a kid. The holidays, the summers, everything. Don't get me wrong, things aren't terrible now but there was just something about that time in my life. My parents live nextdoor to us which is wonderful but a lifelong friend who was like a father to me passed away a couple years ago. He lived just down the street ~ I have no choice but to drive by his house almost everyday and wonder about who is living there now. I do understand. I wish you nothing but the best! It certainly sounds like you deserve it! :-)

Re: It's Over

Jeannie29 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 04:00:12 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs Prayers for you during this trying time

Re: It's Over

qualitygal — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 09:13:22 GMT

I understand this. But as we move on from going through this, we take wonderful memories. We can go on to the next chapter of our lives. You kissed that time goodbye in your life, but you can keep and treasure those memories forever. They are yours to keep.

Best wishes to you.

Re: It's Over

meallen616 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 09:52:07 GMT

The memories will be with you forever,

Re: It's Over

meallen616 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 09:55:33 GMT

Re: It's Over

gidgetgh — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 10:12:53 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
Closing was last week, so it's over. Never could I even imagine that house being sold, just seems like last week that we as a family lived there and everything was all OK. The time has gone by and both my mom and dad are gone, my other siblings somewhere and living their own life, the entire family structure gone.

As suggested, I did stop in every room and say goodbye. The house needed another family, it was a family home, not for someone single. It needs attention, I just can't believe how a house starts to fall apart once somebody isn't living in it. It wasn't like I didn't take care of it, didn't open the windows, keep it clean etc. it just needs a lot of love and I couldn't dedicate myself to it.

I do have the memories, that oven made the most delicious dinners, baked the best home made baked goods, broiled the best lamb chops. That stove cooked the best soups, fried the best french fries, made the most delicious beef stew. I sure hope both the stove and oven does the same for the new owners.

I put the check in the bank and it does feel final, I turned over the keys and I'm sure they'll do their own thing to the house. I'm not going to drive by, I won't put myself through that. I've had some friends that told me how many trucks were there and how many people helping to move in, but I'm not interested. If the text messages continue, I will be polite and say, thank you but that was a part of my life that was in the past and I need to move on.

Life goes on, I know it was just a building with 4 walls but it was my home.

@Mistreatedbycs- I loved reading your post. When we sold my parents condo in April (they'd lived there since 1983), I also took a final walk through every room, took pictures and said goodbye and thank you to each room. It seemed like the right thing to do. And I understand what you mean when you say "the entire family structure is gone". Sending my best wishes to you.

Re: It's Over

violann — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 10:37:22 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs I'm grateful to you also, for articulating some of the things that have been part of my life since my mom got ill.

I know that even if you cherish what you have in the present, the ghosts of sites and faces and experiences are still hanging around and always need to be put in their proper place.

Thank you for posting this.

Re: It's Over

January121 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 10:49:56 GMT

I want to wish you the best of everything in the future .... time goes by & things change .... when things don't go exactly the way I want them to I think of a line from the Sound of Music ... "when God closes a window He opens a door" .... this has always been true for me .... GOOD LUCK!!!! 🌷🌸🌷

Re: It's Over

ID2 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 10:54:18 GMT

We just moved a year ago and when we shut the door I was done! But when we sold our first house, where my children grew up, it was a much more difficult move. I actually wrote the new buyers a note, that I left on the kitchen counter. I briefly told them what a great little house they are getting and I hope they are as happy in it as we were.

Re: It's Over

Boehm Collector — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 13:51:00 GMT

Hi @Mistreatedbycs ... I know how you must feel. I had to sell my childhood home after my Mom passed away. The home had been in our family for over 50 years. Before I emptied it out I took photos of every room. I still look at them occasionally and reminisce... so many memories. I also went through every room to say goodbye on the day of the closing. Then I sat down on the steps leading up to the second floor and cried like a baby. A nice family moved into the home. It was too emotional for me to attend the closing so I didn't meet them until a couple years later. They are always inviting me to go back to see what they have done to the house. I think I will take them up on it.... but I am not quite ready yet. I still have childhood friends who live on the block.... so I see the house often. I just haven't been inside since October 2012.

Re: It's Over

Ohio St8 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 14:27:37 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs.................I could have written those exact words a few years ago, especially about the stove making the best soups & those delicious oven meals. The family that bought our family home love it as much as we did, if not more. They have landscaped the lawn & made a few improvements. It looks fantastic & it warms our hearts knowing how much that house was loved then & now. I hope you find comfort with your new owners.

Re: It's Over

Mominohio — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 14:39:49 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
Closing was last week, so it's over. Never could I even imagine that house being sold, just seems like last week that we as a family lived there and everything was all OK. The time has gone by and both my mom and dad are gone, my other siblings somewhere and living their own life, the entire family structure gone.

As suggested, I did stop in every room and say goodbye. The house needed another family, it was a family home, not for someone single. It needs attention, I just can't believe how a house starts to fall apart once somebody isn't living in it. It wasn't like I didn't take care of it, didn't open the windows, keep it clean etc. it just needs a lot of love and I couldn't dedicate myself to it.

I do have the memories, that oven made the most delicious dinners, baked the best home made baked goods, broiled the best lamb chops. That stove cooked the best soups, fried the best french fries, made the most delicious beef stew. I sure hope both the stove and oven does the same for the new owners.

I put the check in the bank and it does feel final, I turned over the keys and I'm sure they'll do their own thing to the house. I'm not going to drive by, I won't put myself through that. I've had some friends that told me how many trucks were there and how many people helping to move in, but I'm not interested. If the text messages continue, I will be polite and say, thank you but that was a part of my life that was in the past and I need to move on.

Life goes on, I know it was just a building with 4 walls but it was my home.

I know this has been hard on you, and I'm glad at least the physical part of it is over, even if the emotional part will take longer to feel 'done'.

I think that if the new people moving in love the place, and start to fix it up their way, improve it (even if we don't like what they do) and make it a home, it is a wonderful thing, and lets the legacy of 'home' live on there.

I know when my mom sold her house that we grew up in, it was sad, not because it wasn't ours anymore as much as they way the subsequent owners simply took a stately solid brick home that was in a lovely and elegant neighborhood, and simply trashed it over the next two decades.

I hadn't been back inside the house (which ended up in foreclosure at one time, even) since 1988....until this summer, my mom and I were driving by, and saw a man outside. We stopped and chatted, he has been slowly fixing it up and invited us inside. I could begin to see how he was repairing the damage and neglect of the last few decades, and the heart and soul of the home was still there.

I honestly expected to be much more emotional than I was, but much time has passed for me, and you are still new in your 'grief'. I hope that some day you will be able to drive by or even stop in should the house be on the market again, and revisit it with a more calm heart and have only good feelings about the times you spent there, and have naturally moved on from.

Re: It's Over

Mominohio — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 14:47:09 GMT

@Julie928 wrote:
After reading your post I can feel how difficult this is for you and I completely understand. You are correct ~ life does go on but that doesn't make things any easier. Just the other day I was thinking about how different everything was when I was a kid. The holidays, the summers, everything. Don't get me wrong, things aren't terrible now but there was just something about that time in my life. My parents live nextdoor to us which is wonderful but a lifelong friend who was like a father to me passed away a couple years ago. He lived just down the street ~ I have no choice but to drive by his house almost everyday and wonder about who is living there now. I do understand. I wish you nothing but the best! It certainly sounds like you deserve it! :-)

I don't know what it is, but I was thinking along the same lines as you @Julie928 just the other day. How summer doesn't 'feel' the same and how many people are gone and with them many of the traditions we had for holidays and getting together.

Some of us younger ones are trying to make 'new' traditions, stay in touch with each other, get together for those times like showers, holidays or just lunch with cousins, but it just doesn't feel the same. And while most of my older relatives lived all in one close area, we are now spread out much farther, making getting together not the easy thing it was in my childhood.

I think everyone that had a good childhood tends to get nostalgic about the past, and then we go through missing our own kids growing up, and it seems like we are 'suffering' two losses. Two lifetimes that just seem to be gone and greatly missed.

I, too, still have some family, still get together with them, and have no real complaints about my life, but there definitely does come a time when none of it (holidays, summers, reunions, etc.) feel like they did when we were young. I guess it is the way of the world.

Re: It's Over

Mistreatedbycs — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 15:17:07 GMT

Oh my gosh ladies, sitting on the steps going upstairs and crying..that was me! A brick home in a great neighborhood, that was the house.

I think I'm the only one and take comfort that I am not, it happened to you, it happened to me and I'm sure others will feel the same.

Letting go is the hardest, I want it all, I wanted the memories, I wanted the house, I wanted everything but I knew better, it just wasn't happening.

I respect each and every one of you for trying to make it easier for me, I will take a moment and say thank you but I need to move on to the next chapter. Hugs to all.

Re: It's Over

Leeny — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 15:29:26 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
Oh my gosh ladies, sitting on the steps going upstairs and crying..that was me! A brick home in a great neighborhood, that was the house.

I think I'm the only one and take comfort that I am not, it happened to you, it happened to me and I'm sure others will feel the same.

Letting go is the hardest, I want it all, I wanted the memories, I wanted the house, I wanted everything but I knew better, it just wasn't happening.

I respect each and every one of you for trying to make it easier for me, I will take a moment and say thank you but I need to move on to the next chapter. Hugs to all.

Hello, Just Bling,

I know how you feel. It was tough when we sold our family home, where we lived for 25 years and raised our 3 kids. You are so smart in saying you will not drive by and look at the house. We made the mistake and drove by later and it hurt us so bad in seeing how things were left go. As the old saying goes, You Can Never Go Back. The neighbors we had are now gone and the whole neighborhood is in a sad situation. What can happen in 13 years is unreal.

Re: It's Over

SilleeMee — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 15:35:36 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs,

I love your story. It touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

I am a lone survivor of a family of five. Both my siblings gone. My mother passed several years ago and left her house in an estate for purchase. I bought it and still live here.

The memories in this house are overwhelming at times and I find myself crying over them...even after all this time it's just hard to get over the times with my family. All I have left is memories of them and I cherish them dearly.

I wish you luck with your changed life and surroundings. (((hugs)))

Re: It's Over

sweetee2 — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 19:25:15 GMT

I wish I had memories like that. It's harder at Christmas time I long for old memories. But I've made a lot for my children and grandchildren, so they can go through it.

Re: It's Over

Mistreatedbycs — Mon, 25 Jul 2016 21:13:26 GMT

sweetee2...oh my gosh, it is so selfish of me as to expect everyone at some time experienced what I did.

I ran into a waitress who told me she never knew her mother, one of my out of state friends tells me she has a mother but doesn't her know her as a mother. The family house was a distant past.

Forgive me for assuming, I should be happy I have memories and overall it was a great family and a great house.