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Why do you do what you do?

Mominohio — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:10:17 GMT

Looking for really honest answers here, and none are wrong, in my opinion, but why do you decorate in the style(or level) you do, maintain, improve, update and clean your home? Is it mostly for you (what you like, want, enjoy), is it because you feel you must (what is expected of you, based on family or society's ideas of what should be done), is it because of social status (keeping up with the Joneses, equaling those in your social circle, neighborhood, profession etc.)?

I do it for me, as I enjoy it, but I will admit, I think there is a 'standard' that was set when I was a child, and to fall behind that would somehow make me feel like I was doing less than is acceptable. In other words, I do feel that I have a certain standard to live up to, but at the same time, I don't feel any resentment in doing so, and think I have just internalized a level of standards that were taught/demonstrated, but now are a part of me.

Weigh in on why you do what you do.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

traveler — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:20:41 GMT

We never have visitors. We live too far away for relatives to ever visit. So I clean and decorate for my family and myself. My husband works in electronics and I often find cables, connectors and other detritus scattered where he sat. Son is a photographer and ditto for me. Since I can be accused of losing something, I put items in their tray or basket near them.

Decorating is pretty much my choice as long as it's not in their way.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

Marsha2003 — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:31:37 GMT

I decorate my home because I enjoy the process and the result. I don't care much about personal adornment...clothes, make-up, accessories...but I take pleasure in feathering my nest and then snuggling into it.

...

debic — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:31:54 GMT

I'm the self proclaimed clutter queen. It's homey to me. Now inside my cupboards are immaculately clean and organized.

Re: ...

Ladybug837 — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:44:17 GMT

I decorate for me and pick things I like even if others don't like it. I'm the one that lives in the house and sees my decor everyday! I think this will make you a lot happier than doing things just to impress or keep up with others.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

Sooner — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:47:55 GMT

I clean and decorate and buy clothes and accessories that to me say a lot about who I am. We live the way we want to live, and project an image with what we surround ourselves and cloth ourselves in. It is all part of who we think we are/want to be.

My image of myself is someone who has a house that is clean and not a mess. I clean because I think that that is who I am. I have to work to be who I am. It's just what it is. . .

I think most of us try to make our lives who we want to be. . . don't we?

I have to work to be who I want to be. . . I wouldn't have it any other way. I was raised to work hard. . . Respect! That's the word for it: to be respectible. I have to be that for me first.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

Nightowlz — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:49:20 GMT

I decorate with what I like & less is more for me. I just updated a few years ago. I have to have change after a while. I have boxed up or got rid of all the clutter. Makes my life so much easier when it comes to cleaning. I'm a clean freak. I don't care what the style is, what status I am or what I should do. I have a couple of family members that think they need to keep up with the Joneses. Sad.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

jlkz — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:50:18 GMT

Raised I a very strict household with chores all the time. Grew to enjoy neat and orderly surroundings. Didn't do everything " three times to be sure it is clean " as mom insisted on.

Don't care about anyone else's style of decorating: mine has to make DH and me feel relaxed and comfortable. The neatness part enables me to save time looking for things or even losing them.

The complete picture of a room has to be inviting and relaxing with things in their place. The symmetry and blending form a peaceful surrounding shell for me.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

OnlyShopsOnline — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:01:44 GMT

I was brought up watching obsessive levels of housekeeping. And, when I went out on my own, thought I had to live up to those expectations. I didn't enjoy that level of housekeeping. It caused me a lot of stress thinking I would be judged...and, believe me, my mother would have judged.

I also think back to all of the time I'll never get back that I spent repeatedly cleaning my clean house. Time that could have been spent with my family.

Then, I developed a chronic health disease and I could no longer live up to those expectations. AND, after years of beating myself up over it, I realized that all that I had been doing wasn't necessary to maintain a neat and orderly home.

I do what I can, on the days when I can. My husband helps out with the floors, and other more strenuous duties. We spend a fraction of the time cleaning compared to what I used to do. The house looks fine...maybe just a little more dust, but I can tolerate that until I can get to it. But, in the course of a year, all curtains, windows, and other deeper cleaning gets done. The bed skirt, etc, get done a couple of times a year.

And, when we have something enjoyable that we want to do, housework takes second place. We just go out and do it. Life's too short to spend it cleaning, lol.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

cerb — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:04:10 GMT

I like this question mominohio. The way I've decorated is a blend between what I like and what is practical. My husband for example, gets his clothes dirty at work, and insists on sitting on our couch while wearing them. It's not worth having a daily fight with him, therefore I selected a couch with a dark print because it's practical.

Our house is not visible from the road and we have few visitors, even so, I enjoy a few seasonal decorations that only we can see. I have a garden flag, door wreath, and welcome plaque that I change throughout the year. I also have a couple of seasonal vignettes inside the house that I change out. It just makes me happy to look at them. I don't decorate the whole house, just a couple of places.

As for cleanliness, alas, I think I have a higher tolerance for "stuff" than some others might, but I don't want to have a messy or dirty home. So, even though we have few visitors I often ask myself "How would I feel about my home if somebody were to show up unannounced?", and then I clean accordingly. That keeps me from letting things get too messy.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

mousiegirl — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:05:17 GMT

@Mominohio I only realized, after decorating my entire adult life, that I must have a need to constantly be creating. I create gardens, I designed all of the remodeling, telling the so called designer I hired to just put it down in blueprint form and advise if anything was undoable, I create recipes almost daily, I scrapbbook, havn't done this in years so am really backed up, and I decorate. I not only feel good after I have created something, I then have it to enjoy until the next project comes along.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

Mominohio — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:29:14 GMT

@OnlyShopsOnline wrote:
I was brought up watching obsessive levels of housekeeping. And, when I went out on my own, thought I had to live up to those expectations. I didn't enjoy that level of housekeeping. It caused me a lot of stress thinking I would be judged...and, believe me, my mother would have judged.

I also think back to all of the time I'll never get back that I spent repeatedly cleaning my clean house. Time that could have been spent with my family.

Then, I developed a chronic health disease and I could no longer live up to those expectations. AND, after years of beating myself up over it, I realized that all that I had been doing wasn't necessary to maintain a neat and orderly home.

I do what I can, on the days when I can. My husband helps out with the floors, and other more strenuous duties. We spend a fraction of the time cleaning compared to what I used to do. The house looks fine...maybe just a little more dust, but I can tolerate that until I can get to it. But, in the course of a year, all curtains, windows, and other deeper cleaning gets done. The bed skirt, etc, get done a couple of times a year.

And, when we have something enjoyable that we want to do, housework takes second place. We just go out and do it. Life's too short to spend it cleaning, lol.

@OnlyShopsOnline

I come from a background similar to yours, when you speak of the cleaning expectations. And by the sound of what you do as deep cleaning on a regular basis, combined with your (what I consider a healthy) attitude about living life before over achieving on cleaning, you are spot on to where you need to be for a happy and balanced life. I feel like I have reached that place as well, but will admit that I love to not only have the results of cleaning but really love the process of most of it as well, and I know many people don't.

What I'd like know is what you experienced (growing up) as obsessive levels of housekeeping. I'm asking not as a judgement, but as a comparison to what I was raised with. I find interesting what some call necessary, while others deem something as excessive or obsessive. I also get interested in why people see things the way they do.

I know that for my mom, it was because she had nothing as a child, sometimes not even a home or family, and so her home, family and things were her whole world, and she 'obsessively' (by some people's standards) over did her homemaking and cleaning. To her it was gratitude for having what she thought she never would, and showing that gratitude by taking special care of it.

For example, many would consider it obsessive that we were raised to not wear shoes in the house, while she saw it as simply a cleaner way to live. Just wondering if you wanted to share some examples of those kinds of things. Oh, and I get the 'would have judged' thing. Yep, moms can be good at that.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

natureluvr — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:29:44 GMT

Interesting question. I may be considered by some to be obsessed with "clean" but hey it's my home. I clean once a week and 2-3 times a year deep clean, carpets etc. I don't wear shoes in my place. I enjoy it when my place is all clean. I am the same way about my car. I do enjoy decorating for the seasons, fall being my favorite. Twenty years ago after my parents died and we had to clean out their house I became very unsentimental in a hurry. Also, since I have retired I have purged many items clothes for work etc. without any second thoughts. I have given many items to my friends daughters who are just starting out and he is grateful and I also donate. Items I inherited that were never used by my mother that I also wouldn't use so donating was easy. I would rather see items used than tucked away and collecting dust. I like to surrounded by things I truly enjoy.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

Mominohio — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:33:32 GMT

@mousiegirl wrote:
@Mominohio I only realized, after decorating my entire adult life, that I must have a need to constantly be creating. I create gardens, I designed all of the remodeling, telling the so called designer I hired to just put it down in blueprint form and advise if anything was undoable, I create recipes almost daily, I scrapbbook, havn't done this in years so am really backed up, and I decorate. I not only feel good after I have created something, I then have it to enjoy until the next project comes along.

@mousiegirl

I have discovered the same thing you did. After many years of thinking I had no talent or creativity (I never sewed, crafted, sang, danced, acted or did any kind of art), I realized I was exhibiting and expressing it in my homemaking endeavors.

It took many years to understand this about myself, and I won't claim to be all that talented or creative, but I finally 'get it'!

Re: Why do you do what you do?

hoosieroriginal — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:38:46 GMT

I pretty much keep my house spotless, I think that is because my mom kept our house the same way. (Although my children are slobs). I think it is a personality type thing - I'm pretty much a A personality - like things in their place. I love decorating and I do it for myself. I rarely get company, but when I do they love how I decorate. I hate clutter - so I go through the house regularly and get rid of things I don't use regularly.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

nana59 — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:42:02 GMT

@Mominohio wrote:
@OnlyShopsOnline wrote:
I was brought up watching obsessive levels of housekeeping. And, when I went out on my own, thought I had to live up to those expectations. I didn't enjoy that level of housekeeping. It caused me a lot of stress thinking I would be judged...and, believe me, my mother would have judged.

I also think back to all of the time I'll never get back that I spent repeatedly cleaning my clean house. Time that could have been spent with my family.

Then, I developed a chronic health disease and I could no longer live up to those expectations. AND, after years of beating myself up over it, I realized that all that I had been doing wasn't necessary to maintain a neat and orderly home.

I do what I can, on the days when I can. My husband helps out with the floors, and other more strenuous duties. We spend a fraction of the time cleaning compared to what I used to do. The house looks fine...maybe just a little more dust, but I can tolerate that until I can get to it. But, in the course of a year, all curtains, windows, and other deeper cleaning gets done. The bed skirt, etc, get done a couple of times a year.

And, when we have something enjoyable that we want to do, housework takes second place. We just go out and do it. Life's too short to spend it cleaning, lol.
@OnlyShopsOnline

I come from a background similar to yours, when you speak of the cleaning expectations. And by the sound of what you do as deep cleaning on a regular basis, combined with your (what I consider a healthy) attitude about living life before over achieving on cleaning, you are spot on to where you need to be for a happy and balanced life. I feel like I have reached that place as well, but will admit that I love to not only have the results of cleaning but really love the process of most of it as well, and I know many people don't.

What I'd like know is what you experienced (growing up) as obsessive levels of housekeeping. I'm asking not as a judgement, but as a comparison to what I was raised with. I find interesting what some call necessary, while others deem something as excessive or obsessive. I also get interested in why people see things the way they do.

I know that for my mom, it was because she had nothing as a child, sometimes not even a home or family, and so her home, family and things were her whole world, and she 'obsessively' (by some people's standards) over did her homemaking and cleaning. To her it was gratitude for having what she thought she never would, and showing that gratitude by taking special care of it.

For example, many would consider it obsessive that we were raised to not wear shoes in the house, while she saw it as simply a cleaner way to live. Just wondering if you wanted to share some examples of those kinds of things. Oh, and I get the 'would have judged' thing. Yep, moms can be good at that.

Your post reminds me about the times my mom would scrub the INSIDE of the toilet tank.....and then tell us how good she felt about knowing it was clean.....

Re: Why do you do what you do?

hoosieroriginal — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:42:08 GMT

@OnlyShopsOnline wrote:
I was brought up watching obsessive levels of housekeeping. And, when I went out on my own, thought I had to live up to those expectations. I didn't enjoy that level of housekeeping. It caused me a lot of stress thinking I would be judged...and, believe me, my mother would have judged.

I also think back to all of the time I'll never get back that I spent repeatedly cleaning my clean house. Time that could have been spent with my family.

Then, I developed a chronic health disease and I could no longer live up to those expectations. AND, after years of beating myself up over it, I realized that all that I had been doing wasn't necessary to maintain a neat and orderly home.

I do what I can, on the days when I can. My husband helps out with the floors, and other more strenuous duties. We spend a fraction of the time cleaning compared to what I used to do. The house looks fine...maybe just a little more dust, but I can tolerate that until I can get to it. But, in the course of a year, all curtains, windows, and other deeper cleaning gets done. The bed skirt, etc, get done a couple of times a year.

And, when we have something enjoyable that we want to do, housework takes second place. We just go out and do it. Life's too short to spend it cleaning, lol.

@OnlyShopsOnline - My mom was a neat freak - hand waxed our wood floors. One of the last words of wisdom she gave me before she died was "don't waste your life making everything perfect and clean." I don't feel like I'm wasting my life keeping my house clean - I really enjoy it and it is therapeutic to me.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

mousiegirl — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:43:35 GMT

@Mominohio wrote:
@mousiegirl wrote:
@Mominohio I only realized, after decorating my entire adult life, that I must have a need to constantly be creating. I create gardens, I designed all of the remodeling, telling the so called designer I hired to just put it down in blueprint form and advise if anything was undoable, I create recipes almost daily, I scrapbbook, havn't done this in years so am really backed up, and I decorate. I not only feel good after I have created something, I then have it to enjoy until the next project comes along.
@mousiegirl

I have discovered the same thing you did. After many years of thinking I had no talent or creativity (I never sewed, crafted, sang, danced, acted or did any kind of art), I realized I was exhibiting and expressing it in my homemaking endeavors.

It took many years to understand this about myself, and I won't claim to be all that talented or creative, but I finally 'get it'!

@Mominohio I never thought of myself as creative/talented either, until I discovered scrapbooking. It then took a decade more for me to realize that I was creative in daily life as well.: When I was young, I danced, played the piano and owned a horse so lots of riding, but these were activities, not anything I created.

Right now, I am enjoying my Easter decor, but can't wait to get started on Spring/Summer, lol, always looking ahead to the next project.

Re: Why do you do what you do?

Mominohio — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 18:30:51 GMT

@nana59 wrote:
@Mominohio wrote:
@OnlyShopsOnline wrote:
I was brought up watching obsessive levels of housekeeping. And, when I went out on my own, thought I had to live up to those expectations. I didn't enjoy that level of housekeeping. It caused me a lot of stress thinking I would be judged...and, believe me, my mother would have judged.

I also think back to all of the time I'll never get back that I spent repeatedly cleaning my clean house. Time that could have been spent with my family.

Then, I developed a chronic health disease and I could no longer live up to those expectations. AND, after years of beating myself up over it, I realized that all that I had been doing wasn't necessary to maintain a neat and orderly home.

I do what I can, on the days when I can. My husband helps out with the floors, and other more strenuous duties. We spend a fraction of the time cleaning compared to what I used to do. The house looks fine...maybe just a little more dust, but I can tolerate that until I can get to it. But, in the course of a year, all curtains, windows, and other deeper cleaning gets done. The bed skirt, etc, get done a couple of times a year.

And, when we have something enjoyable that we want to do, housework takes second place. We just go out and do it. Life's too short to spend it cleaning, lol.
@OnlyShopsOnline

I come from a background similar to yours, when you speak of the cleaning expectations. And by the sound of what you do as deep cleaning on a regular basis, combined with your (what I consider a healthy) attitude about living life before over achieving on cleaning, you are spot on to where you need to be for a happy and balanced life. I feel like I have reached that place as well, but will admit that I love to not only have the results of cleaning but really love the process of most of it as well, and I know many people don't.

What I'd like know is what you experienced (growing up) as obsessive levels of housekeeping. I'm asking not as a judgement, but as a comparison to what I was raised with. I find interesting what some call necessary, while others deem something as excessive or obsessive. I also get interested in why people see things the way they do.

I know that for my mom, it was because she had nothing as a child, sometimes not even a home or family, and so her home, family and things were her whole world, and she 'obsessively' (by some people's standards) over did her homemaking and cleaning. To her it was gratitude for having what she thought she never would, and showing that gratitude by taking special care of it.

For example, many would consider it obsessive that we were raised to not wear shoes in the house, while she saw it as simply a cleaner way to live. Just wondering if you wanted to share some examples of those kinds of things. Oh, and I get the 'would have judged' thing. Yep, moms can be good at that.
Your post reminds me about the times my mom would scrub the INSIDE of the toilet tank.....and then tell us how good she felt about knowing it was clean.....

@nana59

Oh dear! I'm right there with your mother.

I have to clean the inside of our toilet tanks because we have high iron levels in the water, and they get very yucky, to the point that a black scum builds up and ends up in the bowl every time you flush, if I don't. So they have to be cleaned out several times a year. I will say, until we moved here, I'd never done it or even heard of doing it in my whole life!

Re: Why do you do what you do?

151949 — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 20:16:45 GMT

I clean because it gets dirty and I appreciate cleanliness. I decorate the way I do - eclectic cottage style - because I like a home to feel cozy and warm. I find this style to be very cozy. i love beautiful antiques and have them all through my home, and when I obtain something I do whatever I can to make it as close to it's original beauty as possible. No old peeling, chipping paint on my antiques. I think whoever built that beautiful piece of craftsmanship did not intend it to be seen with peeling old paint on it.I keep that craftsman in my mind as I work to make his masterpiece as close to how he made it as possible. people are always saying that I take away the value of antiques if I remove the old paint - well I don't buy them to resell them, I buy them because I love them, and I think that preserving the old paint is really just an excuse for someone too lazy to restore the piece. And how do they know that is "original paint" ? Heck a piece could have been stripped and refinished 20 times in 100+ years.