topic Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it? in Home

Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

SaggingGal — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 09:13:03 GMT

We live in an upscale condo building in a large metropolitan area. The public areas of the building are not well maintained, despite numerous requests by residents for improved service. The concrete floor of the garage has not been washed in a year. Carpeting in the public hallways and in the public staircases has not been shampooed for nearly two years. The lobby is often littered. The parking lot is notorious for bits of broken glass residue from visits by the garbage truck. We ask our visitors to remove their shoes when they enter our condo. We are concerned that they can easily track in anything into our home.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Rabid1 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 09:27:07 GMT

Personally? Yes. It seems awfully pretentious when your carpet is more important than your guests comfort. Even if you had a stark white carpet what is more important? How your carpet looks or how your guests feel?

I had a friend who built a house out in Napa Valley. For some reason they used a ridiculously expensive soft wood for the flooring. They threw a house warming and asked everyone to take off their shoes. The next party hardly anyone showed up.

If you let people know well in advance and they still come then they are fine with it. I also know someone who has booties that go over shoes because they have antique carpeting in their den and parlor. Still a little uncomfortable but at least you don't have to take off your shoes.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Montana — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 10:32:01 GMT

Aren't you paying condo fees to maintain public areas? I would be more concerned about that.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

IEscapedLosAngeles — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 11:07:24 GMT

Unless you have a family member with a severely weakened immune system and are trying to avoid tracking in anything extra with shoes, I would say yes.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Meeras — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 11:19:11 GMT

i guess yes..

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

docsgirl — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 11:47:28 GMT

I just moved into a condo. In fact, today (12/26) I am there exactly one month. I had the entire condo re-carpeted and painted. All condos are on one level and people can enter through the attached garage or the front door. I have door mats at each entrance so people can wipe their shoes. Several of my friends have come over and all ask if they should remove their shoes and I always say 'NO!' I want people to feel at home in my home. Carpeting can always be cleaned but the way you make people feel will remain forever.

To the OP, how upscale can the condo be if it is so poorly maintained? Residents need to get together, take photos and ask the condo association to hold a special meeting to address these issues. You pay an association fee and that fee includes, I'm sure, maintenance of the common property. Just my opinion. docsgirl

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Big Sister — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 12:17:04 GMT

I wouldn't mind but would want to be told ahead of time.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Pook — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 13:17:30 GMT

I think it's placing more importance on material things than any friends/relatives you invite and in poor taste. It would be better to just not invite anyone if you feel that way or like others have said if you are upfront about the policy to have to remove shoes then it would be the guests choice whether to attend or not. I, personally, would not go to anyone's home where it's an edict and if told this at the door I would say good bye and leave! If they were coming from the outdoors where there is wet muddy earth I would see no problem with having them wipe their shoes off.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Desertdi — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 13:48:05 GMT

On 12/26/2014 Montana said:
Aren't you paying condo fees to maintain public areas? I would be more concerned about that.

especially if it's ""upscale""........

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Love4cats — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:09:04 GMT

I don't think it is rude at all. I don't want shoes that have been in disgusting public parking lots or any other place where people sp*t or throw the gum, on the floor and carpet where my pets are. Its OUR home and if people don't like it, they don't have to visit.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Love4cats — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:19:00 GMT

On 12/26/2014 Pook said:
I think it's placing more importance on material things than any friends/relatives you invite and in poor taste. It would be better to just not invite anyone if you feel that way or like others have said if you are upfront about the policy to have to remove shoes then it would be the guests choice whether to attend or not. I, personally, would not go to anyone's home where it's an edict and if told this at the door I would say good bye and leave! If they were coming from the outdoors where there is wet muddy earth I would see no problem with having them wipe their shoes off.

You apparently have never been in a public parking lot and seen someone sp*t or toss their gum. If you want to wear shoes that you wear in public in your home go for it. I certainly don't want to bring sp*t into my house, onto my floor where I have pets and sometimes walk with bare feet. It has NOTHING to do with material things!

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

gardensla — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:25:44 GMT

I think it sets an unpleasant tone and since my goal is to create a welcoming place, this isn't something I would ever ask of a guest.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Tribesters — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:29:04 GMT

The way I was raised it's rude NOT to remove your shoes before entering someone's home.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

circles — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:30:19 GMT

I would be embarrassed to take my shoes off in someone's home....I don't have the best looking feet...bunions...ugly toe nails that have to be maintained by a podiatrist...(of which I can only go to every 10 weeks)..so my nails might be long and really ugly...I know TMI....lol..

That being said ....if I am told I will have to take off my shoes ahead of time....I would bring some slippers to put....and I don't mind that....but I would not want to be told at the door that was the rule....

I rarely wear socks...so you can see my issue...

BTW....I have NEVER been asked to take off my shoes EVER no matter where I have visited..i have been around for 72 years...and have always lived in states with variable weather...Mich...N.J. and Pa....

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

ID2 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:32:30 GMT

I never need to ask any of my guests to remove their shoes when they enter my home. They automatically do on their own! My friends are very considerate.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Perkup — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:41:49 GMT

It's your home, be it upscale condo or slum gum. Your home, your rules. I would be sure to let people know about your feelings before they come, so that they can decline if there is an issue. If someone in your family has immunity problems, you should explain that to prospective guests.

I do think, however, that I wouldn't care for people's bare feet either because of foot fungus, etc. ; so I would get a supply of "inside" slippers or socks in varying sizes and ask my guests to wear those. Just be prepared to have a significant decrease in the number of your friends.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Snicks1 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:43:43 GMT

I would never ask anyone to remove their shoes at my door, but, if I am asked at someone else's house I do so without any hard feelings. That being said, if you keep your home on the cool/chilly side, it is inconsiderate and I would not stay long, as I don't care to have cold feet. As to whether or not it is rude...that would be in the mindset of the individual being told to remove their shoes.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

151949 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 14:59:28 GMT

I think if you saw some of the diseases that people have on their feet you would prefer the shoes. I keep a throw rug at each entrance for people to wipe their shoes on and most do that.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Group 5 minus 1 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 15:09:08 GMT

Growing up my parents (Mom) always asked people to remove their shoes. They had a sun room off the kitchen and places to sit to remove the shoes. Us- we live in the country and have NO carpeting but it seems like country people always remove their shoes.

Pink Kitchen Story: Relative in the 50's and 60""s had an all pink kitchen. It was NEVER used. She cooked in the basement and when you visited you sat on lawn chairs in the basement.

There was a kitchen table there and that's where they ate.

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

VaBelle35 — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 15:09:37 GMT

When I bought my condo, I had champagne white carpet installed on all floors. People immediately took off their shoes when they walked in.

I never asked and I can't think of a person who didn't take their shoes off in all the years I had it.