topic Re: Do you know any hoarders? in Home

Do you know any hoarders?

pprmntstx — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 13:32:29 GMT

A friend of mine is a hoarder. After many years, she has finally let someone help her clean out her house. She still has a long way to go, but is certainly on the right path forward. What about you...know any hoarders?

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

meallen616 — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 13:39:41 GMT

My neighbor's best friend is a hoarder. When I see her, of course, you would never know. Her marriage broke up and her kids moved out.

I hope some day she realizes she needs help.

I watch that show once in a while and really feel sorry for some of them. There's always a reason why it happens.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

justashopper — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 14:14:49 GMT

My neighbor was a hoarder. Her place was filled floor to ceiling stuff with just path through the rooms. Just one little spot to sit on her couch. Her refridgerator had the groceries, still in the bags, just piled in there. Her bedroom was the same, as was her bed with just one little spot for her to curl up in a ball on.

I knew all this because she asked me to feed her cat while she was away. I felt so bad for that cat and being in her place gave me serious anxiety. I don't know how she found anything. Surprisingly, it didn't stink inside her house, even with the cat. She told me her dad was the same way with the hoarding.

I didn't know her well... and frankly I didn't want to. That way of living signifies a serious problem. It is a mental health problem or at least it shows very poor judgment. What if there is a fire or some other thing.

I do find the show Hoarders fascinating, though. I don't know how people live like that. I am the complete opposite. I like clear tabletops and counters. lots of open space to relax.

When my neighbor stopped by my place. She was openly shocked by how clean it was and had the nerve to say to me-- "oh I could never live like this!"

How rude! I didn't say anything to her to judged her or her junk. But she obviously felt some kind of way with that reaction. lol. She eventually met a guy and moved in with him. She said he saw how she lived. So he was ok with it. I don't know. She moved away and I wished her all the best. lol.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

SloopJohnB — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 14:23:37 GMT

@pprmntstx wrote:
A friend of mine is a hoarder. After many years, she has finally let someone help her clean out her house. She still has a long way to go, but is certainly on the right path forward. What about you...know any hoarders?

@pprmntstx No, I don't know any. But I do remember, back in the day, (my day anyway, LOL) that we called them "pack rats."

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Meowingkitty — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 14:49:49 GMT

There is a guy down the street who went into the hospital last year. Don't know what happened but his kids I guess came over and ordered 3 giant construction dumpsters and filled them to the top and that was just the house. They didn't finish the garage or back yard. He has lived there since 1986 and I don't think he has done one thing to the house. No paint, no new A/C, no new roof. I can only imagine what it's like inside. He definitely needs help but it isn't my call.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

FranandZoe — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 15:24:22 GMT

I can't watch those shows - they give me anxiety.

I grew up in a house with a lot of clutter. "Stuff" on every surface. And I think later in life my Mom became a hoarder.. My grandmother was much the same way. They couldn't throw anything away. My husband was a bit like that too. Not as bad as some of these people but just too much junk for me. As a result - I think - I'm a neat freak. I'm constantly purging.

What I'll never understand is the garbage in some of these houses. It's much more than hoadring IMO. And I remember seeina a house years ago that had no running water for years. Can you imagine the filth and stench?

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Sweetbay magnolia — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 15:27:29 GMT

Yes. It appears as a deep and complex mental state of denial.

The facility to keep it "hidden" just exacerbates the denial. The worse it becomes, the greater the denial yet also the more evident to those around, hence greater denial, and on and on it goes.

Unraveling the underlying cause can be guided but has to come from the hoarding individual. The notion of "blame" needs to be re-considered, and "responsibility" to take its place.

I've run out of oxygen for this. (No, I am not a hoarder)

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Sooner — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 16:08:03 GMT

It's not unknown in rural areas with high poverty rates. People or their families were destitute so they can't throw anything away. Some are happy and proud of their "stuff."

Old cars in the yard, washers and broke down chairs and sofas on the porch, etc. Sheds and back yards stuffed with discarded items.

The name for it where I grew up was "junkers." They are poor and might need something, and many enjoy it as a hobby, some just don't have the ambition to deal with throwing something away. Too much trouble.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Mombo1 — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 16:28:59 GMT

@FranandZoe wrote:
I can't watch those shows - they give me anxiety.

I grew up in a house with a lot of clutter. "Stuff" on every surface. And I think later in life my Mom became a hoarder.. My grandmother was much the same way. They couldn't throw anything away. My husband was a bit like that too. Not as bad as some of these people but just too much junk for me. As a result - I think - I'm a neat freak. I'm constantly purging.

What I'll never understand is the garbage in some of these houses. It's much more than hoadring IMO. And I remember seeina a house years ago that had no running water for years. Can you imagine the filth and stench?

@FranandZoe I'm a neat freak too. My parents were meticulous so I guess it's inherited. Actually, I can't even stand dishes in the sink! Since I am retired now..I like to keep things simple. I recently donated half my closet of dressier work clothes and it was so liberating. My only weakness is shoes. But... my granddaughter has already claimed some to keep for her. Seeing that she is only 9, I doubt she will want them when they actually fit. So...For now she has them put aside in the corner of my closet. 🤗

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

KBEANS — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 16:49:14 GMT

Hoarding does not discriminate regardless of socio economic status. It is a mental illness and that's why it can affect anyone.

I too become anxious thinking about it. @FranandZoe I constantly purge stuff. I have read that could also become an issue.

I try to keep a happy medium, but I believe less is more.

Does anyone remember the story of Collyer's Mansion? It was a home in Harlem in NYC in the 30's and 40's.

They got buried in their rubble and died. My parents would always refer to it when our place would get messy!

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Tori3569 — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 17:14:54 GMT

@KBEANS wrote:
Hoarding does not discriminate regardless of socio economic status. It is a mental illness and that's why it can affect anyone.
I too become anxious thinking about it. @FranandZoe I constantly purge stuff. I have read that could also become an issue.
I try to keep a happy medium, but I believe less is more.

Does anyone remember the story of Collyer's Mansion? It was a home in Harlem in NYC in the 30's and 40's.
They got buried in their rubble and died. My parents would always refer to it when our place would get messy!

@kbeans I can't believe anyone but my family talked about the Collyer house! My mom used to say that all the time for the same reason. I was so used to hearing it I didn't even ask what she was talking about until I was a teenager, lol. Thanks for that memory.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Bri369 — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 17:24:26 GMT

I don't know any hoarders.

I am really careful about not overbuying anything. I don't need to store 100 rolls of paper towels or 10 cases of tomatoes. I don't like to see clutter anywhere. By clutter, I mean overstuffed closed and drawers. As soon as I use something, back it goes. I don't have stacks of papers all over. I know where every single item in my home is.

My husband,on the other hand, does not like to get rid of anything. He just loves his "stuff." His whole family is like that. Open space on a shelf, put something there. A drawer that's not overflowing, there's still room for something. My MIL has 3 microwaves in her kitchen. That's not necessary. She has a built in one that's too high for her to reach and then 2 others. She has 2 dishwashers. She doesn't even use 1 of them. Always has a pile of dishes in the sink. That just gives me so much anxiety.

My sister is the same. She has no order to where she stores things. Never can find anything. Half the time, she buys more of something because she can't find it or doesn't remember how much she has. I was helping her organize her kitchen, and I couldn't believe how many paper plates she had. I don't think she realized how many she had either. She kept them in 3 different cabinets. We pulled everything out and started organizing. She was shocked at how much she had. We went to the Container Store and started putting everything back in a place that made sense. She finally realized how much easier it is to find something and to keep track of how much "stock" she has. She's one that will buy something because it's on clearance or really cheap even if she doesn't need it. She "might" need it. LOL

My mission is to keep my home neat and orderly. I'm constantly going through and keeping things organized.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

On It — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 17:21:01 GMT

My next door neighbor was a hoarder. Her yard is filled with yard art some of which appears to be rather expensive. When her husband died a few years ago, some of their children came to help her go through his things. They filled 3 dumpsters on our street that I saw. I have no idea how many others were used.

Since that one weekend I have not seen any of her children visit. I do not believe there is room in her home for them. This is our vacation home so I do not know her all that well. I just know something isn't right.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Sooner — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 17:32:47 GMT

I think there are many different versions, people who love stuff, people suffering loss, insecurity, lonliness, and people who grew up in abject poverty. To those anything is precious or potentially useful.

Some mental illness, some just where life's circumstances left you. It's hard to break the cycle of poverty for many reasons: habit, comfort zone, guilt, lack of access to funding. . . And to guilt I'll add peer pressure. "You think you're better than us don't you?"

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

RedTop — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 18:09:21 GMT

Yes, a former coworkers husband is a hoarder. They live outside city limits and their yard currently has 7 cars, a truck, 2 boats, a camper, several riding mowers, and a trailer for hauling his stuff. They literally have no grass to mow because of all the things parked in the yard!

I have never been inside her house; just picked her up and dropped her off when we attended work related functions together. She's always been very verbal about her husbands buying/collecting problem, and complained about the massive amount of stuff stacked inside the house. She lost the dining room area to his collections and half the living room, but says they can still sit in the living room to watch tv, the kitchen is clear, bathrooms, and her half of the bedroom is clear. They do not have pets, and my friend says their house is not dirty or smelly; it's just too full of stuff her husband likes and sees as valuable.

There are several other places around this county that from the looks of the front porch and yard, hoarders live there. My neighbors in the trashy trailer had 2 visits from the county assessor who could not believe that place was actually lived in. Shortly after the 2nd visit some much needed improvements were made around the outside, and we are not seeing their trash bags piled up like before. The place is still a horrible mess, but the boys have done a few things in the last year.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

manny2 — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 18:50:32 GMT

@KBEANS wrote:
Hoarding does not discriminate regardless of socio economic status. It is a mental illness and that's why it can affect anyone.
I too become anxious thinking about it. @FranandZoe I constantly purge stuff. I have read that could also become an issue.
I try to keep a happy medium, but I believe less is more.

Does anyone remember the story of Collyer's Mansion? It was a home in Harlem in NYC in the 30's and 40's.
They got buried in their rubble and died. My parents would always refer to it when our place would get messy!

@KBEANS You are correct it is not about poverty. Hoarding does not discriminate, and it is found among all socioeconomic groups. It is recognized in the DSM-5. It is under the umbrella of OCD.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Lucky Charm — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 19:15:37 GMT

I don't know of any hoarders, but I have seen cars that were filled to the gills with stuff. And I'm not talking bags of groceries as though they were making the rounds at a couple of different grocery stores and then heading home to put them away.

I mean the back windows, the back seat and the passenger seat were packed to the ceiling with junk, trash, stuff. I don't know how they could drive their cars.

Actually, one older man drives a pickup truck with a cap on the back and it is piled high. He looks quite clean and neat in his appearance and I don't think he actually lives in his truck. There's only space for him to sit in the driver's seat. But there are just bags and bags of junk crammed into every spot.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

Bri369 — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 19:18:03 GMT

Whenever I've watched any Howrder shows, I notice the people are most always very neat and clean themselves. Most of their friends and family do not know the extent of their living conditions.

It always made me very sad to see families with children living like that. It must be very difficult for them

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

santorini — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 21:19:16 GMT

I used to think a hoarder meant someone who stocked up too much, as in lots of packs of toilet paper, 12 tubes of toothpaste, etc. I watched an episode of the Hoarders show and it was shocking. I had to convince myself that it was fake and just staged to be dramatic for the show. This show focused on twin sisters who lived together. They had no running water but still kept living there. You couldn't see the floors, and there was just one little empty square on the couch that she slept on. The other details were too horrible to type here but the things on the floor were not just extra, unused supplies. They used the floors as trash cans.

Re: Do you know any hoarders?

sometimesQVCaddict — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 21:06:35 GMT

I know 2 that live in higher end neighborhoods. One had a super neat outside which gardeners meticulously took care of, but inside was a different story. Another has a messy outside w junk lying around & the inside is a disaster. So having money or being poor doesn't discriminate among hoarders. I also drive by homes in my daily travels all over & judging by the obviously neglected outside, I can just assume what the inside looks like!

I think depending on your own definition determines what is "hoarding" to you. Some people are meticulous neat freaks & know every tiny object in their home & every tiny thing has a place. Some are more casual & are neat overall, but maybe have a junk drawer, closet and/or small area/garage/basement that are messy or need organizing. Some are messy & just don't like housework or are physically unable to tidy up. Some have lots of stuff & collectibles & like a lot of stuff surrounding them.

I fall into the casual category. Anyone could randomly walk into my home & it's neat, tidy & clean w no mess anywhere, but I have 2 infrequently used rooms that need work & better organizing.