topic Re: So, should we just all lie? in Home

So, should we just all lie?

Abrowneyegirl — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:10:09 GMT

Friends of ours recently redecorated and she painted the kitchen and eat-in area gray. Unfortunately with the light, the cabinets, etc the gray looks anywhere from light purple to a dusty lilac. When you put gray accessories with in the room it only makes the wall color MORE purple.

It is not bad if you like that color, however our friend is very offended that everyone comments on her purple kitchen. She corrects everyone with a little sass and tells them it is 'XYZ gray".

We are having a little brunch there tomorrow before an event and a friend suggested we tell the people that have not been there yet and those who have to simple say "Yes the gray is lovely." As our friend is now asking EVERYONE "what color is this paint?"

She is determined for someone/anyone to agree it is gray or at least looks gray.

Little white lie in order?

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Kardi — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:16:55 GMT

Sure. Why not? You’re friend doesn’t want the truth anyways.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

FranandZoe — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:18:05 GMT

I think in general gray CAN look lilac and vice versa. I recently got a pedicure with lilac polish and it definitely looked gray - couldn't wait to change it.

Tell her the truth - that gray CAN look lilac or in her case purple. Tell her how pretty it is.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

lolakimono — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:19:10 GMT

@Abrowneyegirl

I would suggest that she take pictures- first thing in the morning, at lunch, and again at dinner and see if the color "changes."

She may not see it, or it may be like the famous social media dress, where people saw one color or another.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

dex — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:22:55 GMT

If your friend likes the color then it doesn’t matter if it appears purple to others..it’s grey in her eyes.I think we all see color differently.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Jaspersmom — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:24:10 GMT

Of course the decent thing to do is just say the paint color is lovely. She'll figure it out on her own soon enough. What I've learned about paint is that all colors have another color undertone. White, for example, can have green, yellow or beige undertones just to name a few. Unfortunately, the way a color looks on a little chip or on someone else's wall can be deceiving. That's why it's good to buy samples and paint a few areas before deciding on a complete redo. I painted my bedroom five times before I finally found the right color for the room, light, shadows, etc. My kitchen had four colors in light and dark shades. The sample cans are worth purchasing to avoid making big mistakes. I had to learn the hard way. Good luck to your friend. IF one of you is very close to her and she asks for an honest opinion, then yes, she should be told the truth. Let us know what happens.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Allegheny — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:27:05 GMT

No. But you can clue them in that the color is gray and it seems homeowner is a little sensitive that most people see it reflects as purple. Leave it up to them. Grays are tough.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Isobel Archer — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:33:02 GMT

I've never understood why people feel the need to tell - or imply - to someone that her color choices - in home decor, or dress - are either not what the critic would choose or off for some other reason.

I have bold colors in some rooms in my home. Some love it (My husband and I are two - and I've gotten great complements) and some don't - and have felt the need to tell me that neutrals are always better choices.

The OP's tone - "if you like that color" and "should we lie" clearly indicates that she disapproves of the color - whatever it is - light purple, lilac or even gray. So it is no wonder that her friend was "offended."

I'd suggest that if the color is so offputting as to spoil appetites, that those who feel that way decline the brunch. Otherwise I'd find a way to graciously complement the new paint.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

ItsME — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:45:18 GMT

No. I like to hear the truth. If it looks purple, it looks purple. That isn't good or bad. Just what it looks like.

If she asks, the person asked should tell the truth as to what color it looks like to them. No need to comment if not asked. But, no one should lie. Sounds like an Emperor's New Clothes situation! LOL

The ony thing that matters is if the owner likes it. If she's not sure about it, and looking for opinions, she should want honest opinions. If everyone tells her a lie, it defeats the purpose and isn't doing her any favors.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

withaK — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:49:03 GMT

I'm sure the home owner knows.....I'd lie and say its lovely and thank you for hosting ! If pressed then I may say the decor may enchance the purple undertones or some such thing. It happened to my inlaws...they repainted the hallway to a light pink and it took darker tones bc of the burgandy carpet....well MIL did way she was tired of beige !!!!!lol

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Diva on The Q — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 13:53:42 GMT

If it means that much to her, just tell her it's gray and carry on with your day.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

nomless — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:37:16 GMT

It doesn't matter what the name of the color is, so go along and say it's gray if you are pushed into a corner where you have to state what the color is. Don't start a fight over a color name.

What matters is it is a shade she likes, so that's the end of the story, IMO. The opinions of others are irrelevant .

Re: So, should we just all lie?

MaryLamb — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:00:47 GMT

I wouldn’t say a word and would let everyone give their opinions. She might start to accept that it doesn’t look right and consider repainting.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Isobel Archer — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:19:18 GMT

@MaryLamb wrote:
I wouldn’t say a word and would let everyone give their opinions. She might start to accept that it doesn’t look right and consider repainting.

Wow

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Kitlynn — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:22:35 GMT

If you don't want to know the truth you shouldn't ask. It also should not matter what other people think as long as she likes it. Now that being said I would probably just respond by saying it looks like grey with undertones.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

MaryLamb — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:22:51 GMT

@Isobel Archer wrote:
@MaryLamb wrote:
I wouldn’t say a word and would let everyone give their opinions. She might start to accept that it doesn’t look right and consider repainting.
Wow

@Isobel Archer Oh, I’m sorry. I should totally be a jerk who runs around telling my friends to lie to each other. Carry on.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Fressa — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:32:16 GMT

I would tell her that the color I see leans to a purple undertone grey. Everyone sees color differently and lighting and time of day projects the color diffferently. I would also say that it doesn't matter what color I see as long as she like it. It's her kitchen.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Isobel Archer — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:36:40 GMT

@MaryLamb wrote:
@Isobel Archer wrote:
@MaryLamb wrote:
I wouldn’t say a word and would let everyone give their opinions. She might start to accept that it doesn’t look right and consider repainting.
Wow
@Isobel Archer Oh, I’m sorry. I should totally be a jerk who runs around telling my friends to lie to each other. Carry on.

Especially when your friend is clearly incompetent to choose appropriate color for her home. People have to tell her. Got it.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

MaryLamb — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:40:26 GMT

@Isobel Archer wrote:
@MaryLamb wrote:
@Isobel Archer wrote:
@MaryLamb wrote:
I wouldn’t say a word and would let everyone give their opinions. She might start to accept that it doesn’t look right and consider repainting.
Wow
@Isobel Archer Oh, I’m sorry. I should totally be a jerk who runs around telling my friends to lie to each other. Carry on.
Especially when your friend is clearly incompetent to choose appropriate color for her home. People have to tell her. Got it.

@Isobel Archer We all have been in a situation where we make a costly mistake, then try to convince ourselves that the result is what we wanted. She wanted a grey kitchen, and she didn’t get one. She wouldn’t keep asking everyone what color it is, if she was secure with the result. She is not a child. She is a grown woman who should be able to handle the truth about a paint color. I’m sure she will eventually repaint.

Re: So, should we just all lie?

Maggie Nolia — Sat, 08 Jun 2019 14:44:33 GMT

I fail to see any reason to run interference here. What a meddlesome person to suggest such nonsense.