topic Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help ! in Home

Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

casuallady — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 20:59:08 GMT

We just had a guy pickup a small dump truck of junk ! That should be good, but guess what our basement and loft still look ugly. The loft is overloaded with furniture.

I am frustrated, and hubby seems to care less.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

depglass — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 21:27:00 GMT

If he doesn't care one way or the other, do what you wish. I get the feeling this is not the first chapter of this story.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

Mom2Dogs — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 21:47:18 GMT

Casuallady, if your husband really does not care then I would get rid of what I wanted to and keep what I wanted.

I posted earlier about wanting to move, I had to have a conversation with my husband about his lack of enthusiasm about a move...I really want to move he is neutral, hard to buy a home with that attitude, I don't want to push him into something he does not want....so I told/asked him to at least call the bank about rates, etc... I do all the investigating and was afraid he was just along for the ride, after a conversation about me always being in charge he stepped up to the plate and is being more helpful....maybe you need to have a conversation with your husband about all the stuff, if he truly does not care then you're in charge of it and I'd do what ever I wanted to do with the basement items.

I will admit that when i have a project, I work on it until it is done, he tends to put things off so I am learning to try to be less competent, ha! Good Luck, I'd love to help you clean your basement, that is something I love to do....

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

sarpy — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 22:32:07 GMT

I would hire 2 Men and a Truck. They start charging when they leave their office. They will come to your place, load the truck with the stuff you don't want and take it to the dump, GoodWill whatever. Maybe that would open his eyes.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

casuallady — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 23:03:02 GMT

I wasn't very clear, he doesn't care if the basement looks ugly, and the loft is overloaded with furniture, but he does care about keeping lots of useless stuff. It has been a real tug getting to where we are. I am just getting tired. I actually like cleaning out and making things look nice, but is so difficult when he wants to hold on to stuff.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

ANewHue — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 23:10:40 GMT

I'm having the same issue I get rid of stuff and clean and before I know more stuff is piled high. It's very frustrating to me but I seem to be the only one that cares. I have to learn to close my eys and not let it bother me because it gets me crazy. Hopefully someday I'll get to have my basement done the way I want it. Don't give up hope.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

Lilysmom — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 23:15:27 GMT

Casuallady, I feel your pain. We moved after 26 years in one place and it is indeed a job. My husband is the keeper of useless things (my opinion, I know) in our house. When I just have to do it, I do it. If he doesn't want to participate, fine. If I throw out something he wanted to keep, tough. With that attitude, he usually pitches in and does his share. We negotiate some items and try to get rid of the rest. Don't give up, you're probably at least half the way there!!! If you give up now, you will just have to start at zero next time. I usually give myself a week to lay the groundwork and then plow on. Good luck to you!!! LM

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

AuntG — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 23:16:36 GMT

If a truck load of stuff was removed from your house, it has to look a lot better than it did. Don't you agree? I just want you to appreciate how much you did accomplish. Why not talk to DH tomorrow and tell him what needs to come out of the loft. If I were you, I wouldn't push too much on the basement, because no one will see that anyway, but I would try to get him to take more out of the loft.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

casuallady — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 23:18:19 GMT

On 3/10/2014 beaches21 said: I'm having the same issue I get rid of stuff and clean and before I know more stuff is piled high. It's very frustrating to me but I seem to be the only one that cares. I have to learn to close my eys and not let it bother me because it gets me crazy. Hopefully someday I'll get to have my basement done the way I want it. Don't give up hope.

I don't want a finished basement, just cleaned out, floor cleaned and painted, walls a fresh coat, and buy some very strong solid shelving. I don't want a lot of shelving, or hubby will fill it up. What is on our current ugly wood shelving is way to much stuff. Our steps need painted, and freezer and cabinets painted,...

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

Mominohio — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 02:18:17 GMT

I, too, feel your pain. I have a husband that tends to keep way too much, and often it is not worth keeping. I've managed to keep it out of my house and garage, mostly in his shop, but it drives me nuts. I've gotten to the place in the house where I throw/give away things when he isn't looking, and so much of the time, he doesn't even notice. If he sees me get rid of some things, he picks them out and puts them back, so I just do it when no one is looking!

AuntG is right, be proud of the work you have accomplished, and don't give up.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

casuallady — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 03:45:09 GMT

It does look better ! My loft is not full of junk, just too many pieces of furniture. I have one large shelving thing that we both agree needs to go, but he has fly fishing stuff in it, and I have some photo albums. I know where the albums are going. I am purging old pictures, and I have gotten rid of several albums. I can put them in the shelving unit in a spare room. I also want to sell or contribute to charity a CD player and speakers. We have a Bose and we rarely play either. We also have a small stand with a Christmas Cactus. The stand needs to go. I can put the cactus on another stand.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

KathyPet — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 03:53:33 GMT

So, I take stuff to the dump on a regular basis and simply don't ask or tell my husband ahead of time. he refuses to throw out anything. I finally threw out his skiis, boots and poles that he hadn't used since HS when he was 43 years old. he insisted that he keep them and we moved those things to three apartments and three houses before I discarded them and he never noticed they were gone. take my advice. Don't ask. Don't tell. Just call the trash removal company and have them come get the stuff.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

ilovedaisies — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 03:55:52 GMT

If he's like my husband and lots of others, he probably doesn't really care about what furniture you keep or get rid of. Maybe you could tempt him into getting rid of stuff by talking to him about having room in the basement for his best stuff, or even a "man cave" type of set up.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

Annabellethecat66 — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 04:23:31 GMT

Well at least you're moving some of your junk. I still have all of my junk here. I lost my momentum before I got started. I keep saying, "I'm a gonna start." But you have to start to finish!

As for men doing things. My late husband was amazing. He did and could do anything and everything. However, even he picked and choose what he did and when he did it. In a partnership there always has to be someone to come from behind and 'finish up'.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

casuallady — Fri, 14 Mar 2014 22:20:02 GMT

On 3/11/2014 annabellethecat said:
Well at least you're moving some of your junk. I still have all of my junk here. I lost my momentum before I got started. I keep saying, "I'm a gonna start." But you have to start to finish!

As for men doing things. My late husband was amazing. He did and could do anything and everything. However, even he picked and choose what he did and when he did it. In a partnership there always has to be someone to come from behind and 'finish up'.

Annabelle, I know you can do it. It is actually easier when doing it yourself. Don't get me wrong I love my hubby 45 yrs.

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

ive been framed — Sat, 15 Mar 2014 02:11:59 GMT

Hi casuallady! Be glad you started something- sometimes that's the hardest part! I had all I could stand living with our old finished basement/den.

So, last October I told DH, I'm gonna fix up the basement myself (it is true, easier doing it alone!), toss out anything I felt I needed to and repaint, fix, and redo anything I could, make it a place we WANT to go to relax and watch TV instead of HAVE to. He balked a little, but I went to work on it anyway and threw out so much junk. And some things that were DH's I threw out without him knowing! He didn't miss a thing. I just finished this week refinishing a cabinet area and painting faux granite on the counter and bar. The only thing I didn't do myself was laying the carpet.

Now that the place looks so much better, DH unexpectedly decided to build a bank of bookcases along one wall and that alone helped not only with the scads of books and photo albums down there but now holds a bunch we had taking up room upstairs. He now enjoys a 'Man Cave' in the den where he can read or watch TV. He says it was a good idea after all!

Re: Loosing Momentum, PLEASE help !

casuallady — Sat, 15 Mar 2014 13:30:33 GMT

On 3/14/2014 ive been framed said:
Hi casuallady! Be glad you started something- sometimes that's the hardest part! I had all I could stand living with our old finished basement/den.

So, last October I told DH, I'm gonna fix up the basement myself (it is true, easier doing it alone!), toss out anything I felt I needed to and repaint, fix, and redo anything I could, make it a place we WANT to go to relax and watch TV instead of HAVE to. He balked a little, but I went to work on it anyway and threw out so much junk. And some things that were DH's I threw out without him knowing! He didn't miss a thing. I just finished this week refinishing a cabinet area and painting faux granite on the counter and bar. The only thing I didn't do myself was laying the carpet.

Now that the place looks so much better, DH unexpectedly decided to build a bank of bookcases along one wall and that alone helped not only with the scads of books and photo albums down there but now holds a bunch we had taking up room upstairs. He now enjoys a 'Man Cave' in the den where he can read or watch TV. He says it was a good idea after all!

Congratulations ! I bet you feel like a weight has been lifted. I am going to get some plastic containers for the stuff hubby insists on keeping. We have gotten rid of a lot, and I am happy about that.