topic Re: What is the one thing in Home

What is the one thing

Mominohio — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 19:41:09 GMT

that after years of purging/down sizing/right sizing, you still don't have the kind of control over/results from, that you want to see.

I didn't want to put this in the middle of the purging thread, so thought I'd start this one.

Many of us have been weeding out the unneeded, unnecessary and unwanted things over the last few years, with varying levels of results.

Many of us have one (or more!) areas that we still don't have in the condition we really want it to be.

Care to share what yours is, why you think it is still hard for you to make it happen, and any plans to make it happen and how?

My most pressing are actually two things.

Linens. Not full blown out of control, but still way more than I probably need. I have a hard time parting with good linens, as the more time goes on, the harder it is to find truly good quality ones (sheets, towels, blankets, quilts, etc.).

Dishes. Not sure I'll ever get that one really under control. I love dishes and bakeware. I've gotten rid of some, but only a fraction of what probably should go.

My plan for the two.

Don't really have one that I'm committed to making work, other than severely limiting what comes in in those categories, and weeding out the truly worn out, chipped, damaged, thread bare, and not replacing.

Re: What is the one thing

DrakesMomma — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 19:46:01 GMT

For me it is pictures. Real pictures. Photographic pictures in frames on the wall. And black only frames.

Re: What is the one thing

phoenixbrd — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 19:51:27 GMT

@Mominohio your post reminds me of a quote by Emerson,

To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.... (a bit of a paraphrase)

I've dealt with the easy releases, what I'm faced with now requires a plan of action, motivation, and courage.

Re: What is the one thing

kittyloo — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 20:03:01 GMT

dishes is a hard one for me. l feel the need to have absolutely every size and shape of plate, bowl, whatever.

whenever i think "these should go" i'll even pick them up to go into the donation box, then think, they are so cute though. i may need them. when i do let them go, i always replace with something else. it's a never ending battle.

Re: What is the one thing

queendiva — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 20:11:06 GMT

@Mominohio: I am beginning to think we were separated at birth!

Dishes: Love them and used to have a ton. Got rid of most all during my previous move in 2006 when I decided I would be doing a lot less entertaining in a smaller home. Got rid of more last year. All the dishes I own fit on one shelf in one cabinet and were bought recently at thrift stores. I love and use them all, except for the Lenox Christmas pattern which I sold for five times what I paid at thrift.

Linens: My collection of fine linens is limited to napkins. They are housed in one shirt box. Manageable. Loved and used. I have no paper napkins in my house- never have.

I am sure I would have trouble parting with beautiful quilts. I am still using the same winter comforter and matching curtains for my bedroom purchased and used every fall/winter since 1997- I love them that much and they have matched my decor in 3 different homes with 3 different color schemes.

I have 3 large bins full of jar candles- close to 50 of them. No more permitted to enter the house.

The collection I love and continue to add to: handbags. Carefully curated. I love every one and never rule out a new one, unless it's over a certain price point. I have many Dooneys and love them. I parted with many prior to my move and have purchased 5 in the past 2 months! Irresistable sales. I can probably release a couple of them, probably not 5. All are stored/ displayed on closet shelves and all get used.

I also have too many coats and shoes. Not adding to either collection and can probably pare them down minimally. I will see what was not worn at the end of the season. My stash of beauty products is also larger than it could be.

I think that's it.

Re: What is the one thing

gidgetgh — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 20:14:18 GMT

Hmmm..... I don't know that I can pinpoint something that's TOO over the top, but a few areas I'm sure I'll tweak more as I go on:

Kitchen glasses- there are 2 of us. We only have family over at Christmas if it's our year to host. I mean, really, how many drinking glasses do we need? But, I kind of go by Marie Kondo's Konmari method. The glasses we have bring me joy. All of them. I've toyed with the idea of donating 8 brand new, never used, pretty acrylic glasses that I got from Bed Bath and Beyond summer of 2017, but I still hold on to them but I've looked at them a few times in the last two weeks and, if the normal pattern follows, that means they're on my mind and I'm getting close to donating them. If we actually DID have anyone over, I'd use those. But I'm really, really, really close to donating them. I'm big on acrylic glasses and this would at least get 8 out of there.

Christmas decorations/ornaments/tree- compared to many families, we have just about nothing. But we haven't put a tree up in 3 years and I haven't missed it to be honest. I need to have my husband bring the one large container of ornaments out of the small attic space accessible through our bedroom closet so that I can get rid of more and move what I DO keep to the basement. Again, in the grand scheme, we don't have much, but I've been procrastinating on this. We also have 2 small trees. I want to donate at least 1.

The Konmari method talks about your "click point". The point at which you feel you have just enough of whatever item. But I think the click point is an ever changing thing. Like the kitchen glasses. I thought I was at my click point, but now I'm not.

For other categories, purses are a continual review and sell/donate thing for me. I'm a purse person, but I'm changing the inventory frequently. I have way less purses than I used to have and I'm trying to get the collection down even more. I'm not at my click point yet.

Oh.... and we do have way too much Tupperware/plastic storage stuff for, again, two people. But it's all really really organized and I like all of it so I have no plans right now to reduce the inventory.

Re: What is the one thing

GenXmuse — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 20:16:12 GMT

Dishes here for me too! I’m not ready! But I seriously need another china cabinet.

Re: What is the one thing

Still Raining — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 20:37:16 GMT

I am remarkably purged and in the process I did best if I defined how many/what I wanted to be left with rather what I wanted to purge.

A few years ago when I moved I decided that only what could be arranged on the new walls would be kept. No more storage. I also decided that I did not want any bookcases, ergo no books. I only need 12 placements of dishes, period.

Still had some tears, but was done.

Admit shoes may be an issue, sigh.

Re: What is the one thing

loriqvc — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 20:46:27 GMT

For me, it's serving pieces—I am slightly obsessed with having just the right sizes, shapes, and colors of bowls, platters, and such for entertaining, so I've accumulated quite a collection over the years. The problem? I entertain less than half as much as I used to, so the primary purpose for these items now is making me smile when I open my "party cupboard." Granted, that's nice, but I sometimes feel guilty about keeping so much, especially when the majority of the items are large and take up a lot of space.

I am definitely still at the point where I'm unwilling to let many of my treasures go, though I do sell or give away a few every year; my solution right now is just to not buy more. I'm doing pretty well at that lately, particularly since I adopted the mantra, "That is beautiful/such a great idea, but I don't need to own it." If I make myself say that out loud when I encounter a great new find, it really does stop me in my tracks for long enough to think things through.

Good luck with your quest, @Mominohio!

Re: What is the one thing

Mom2Dogs — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 21:29:34 GMT

Not to gloat...ha, ha...but I don't have excess of anything...and I am being honest. I purged years ago and got rid of unnecessary stuff and never looked back. What I have in the house...linens, dishes, etc. is everything I want, in good shape, etc. The problem is I'd like to have some new things but my neat-nick personality keeps me from buying 'cause I don't know what I would do with the item I am replacing the new one with......I have a decent size home roughly 1800 sq ft. but I don't have linen closets, a walk in closet or pantry to store things in.

I did mention on another thread that I needed to go thru my closet..but I really don't have a huge amount of unused clothes, I just 'feel' like I should thin things out....I think I need therapy.

Re: What is the one thing

Chicagosuburbangirl — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 21:54:21 GMT

Things that once belonged to my mother.

All of her treasures cannot be mine, but it is hard to decide what to keep.

Re: What is the one thing

wagirl — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 21:55:08 GMT

I guess my big thing about the actual act of purging-----is being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. I am pretty good about getting rid of the stuff but getting started is hard. I would love to have a purging buddy come over and help me dig in. Or better yet a pro who can be non committal and just say YOU DON;T REALLY NEED THIS!I have gotten rid of alot of my old dishes and I am getting rid of the linens too---do I really need 5 sets per bed? But the thought of having to pack all this stuff up to move-------makes my teeth grind-----and that is in my future as a tree fell thru my house and we have to move out so the roof can be taken off and the whole upstairs repaired. Yikes!!!!

Re: What is the one thing

gidgetgh — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 22:08:25 GMT

@wagirl wrote:
I guess my big thing about the actual act of purging-----is being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. I am pretty good about getting rid of the stuff but getting started is hard. I would love to have a purging buddy come over and help me dig in. Or better yet a pro who can be non committal and just say YOU DON;T REALLY NEED THIS!I have gotten rid of alot of my old dishes and I am getting rid of the linens too---do I really need 5 sets per bed? But the thought of having to pack all this stuff up to move-------makes my teeth grind-----and that is in my future as a tree fell thru my house and we have to move out so the roof can be taken off and the whole upstairs repaired. Yikes!!!!

@wagirl- I’m sorry to hear about the tree.

If I can make a suggestion to you about decluttering since you said you don’t know where to start..... I’m a world class declutterer. Anyway, don’t “flit” around. Pick a room to start. Start small like maybe a bathroom. Start and don’t move on from there until that bathroom is done. Whether that bathroom takes you 30 minutes or 5 days. Then move on to the next room. Save your most cluttered or difficult spaces till last. Then hopefully the process will get easier as you go along.

Doing it that way, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as you finish each area.

Re: What is the one thing

software — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 22:45:57 GMT

@loriqvc wrote:
For me, it's serving pieces—I am slightly obsessed with having just the right sizes, shapes, and colors of bowls, platters, and such for entertaining, so I've accumulated quite a collection over the years. The problem? I entertain less than half as much as I used to, so the primary purpose for these items now is making me smile when I open my "party cupboard." Granted, that's nice, but I sometimes feel guilty about keeping so much, especially when the majority of the items are large and take up a lot of space.

I am definitely still at the point where I'm unwilling to let many of my treasures go, though I do sell or give away a few every year; my solution right now is just to not buy more. I'm doing pretty well at that lately, particularly since I adopted the mantra, "That is beautiful/such a great idea, but I don't need to own it." If I make myself say that out loud when I encounter a great new find, it really does stop me in my tracks for long enough to think things through.

Good luck with your quest, @Mominohio!

Your first paragraph describes me. I have more than I need of bakers, broilers, casseroles etc. I have favorite pieces for favorite recipes. But I don't entertain like I used to.

Re: What is the one thing

software — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 22:52:56 GMT

@gidgetgh wrote:
@wagirl wrote:
I guess my big thing about the actual act of purging-----is being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. I am pretty good about getting rid of the stuff but getting started is hard. I would love to have a purging buddy come over and help me dig in. Or better yet a pro who can be non committal and just say YOU DON;T REALLY NEED THIS!I have gotten rid of alot of my old dishes and I am getting rid of the linens too---do I really need 5 sets per bed? But the thought of having to pack all this stuff up to move-------makes my teeth grind-----and that is in my future as a tree fell thru my house and we have to move out so the roof can be taken off and the whole upstairs repaired. Yikes!!!!
@wagirl- I’m sorry to hear about the tree.

If I can make a suggestion to you about decluttering since you said you don’t know where to start..... I’m a world class declutterer. Anyway, don’t “flit” around. Pick a room to start. Start small like maybe a bathroom. Start and don’t move on from there until that bathroom is done. Whether that bathroom takes you 30 minutes or 5 days. Then move on to the next room. Save your most cluttered or difficult spaces till last. Then hopefully the process will get easier as you go along.

Doing it that way, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as you finish each area.

With all due respect for those of us who have the tendency towards clutter and "don't know where to begin" starting with one room doesn't work. I have to do one CORNER. For example, if there is a desk , cabinet or other piece of furniture in the corner, if I can totally purge and declutter that one piece, it's time for a victory dance!

I've tried the one room thing, I make a bigger mess.

And for those who think you could benefit from a "purge buddy", yes, try that if you can. My DD is a minimalist (wonder why??), very neat & organized, ,she knows where everything she owns is, and she has a great eye for how things work in a space. I try not to abuse her advice, but she's a great help to me. And when I declutter a spot on my own, she's very supportive.

Re: What is the one thing

tansy — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 23:03:29 GMT

I used to make hooked rugs (not latch hook) and even though my arthritic hands can’t cope with it anymore I cannot get rid of my beautiful wool yardage and related hooking paraphernalia. It’s all just barely crammed into my guest room. It’s embarrassing. My husband is a saint by never bringing it up. When I am back home, I swear I will clean it out:/

Re: What is the one thing

Meowingkitty — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 23:24:07 GMT

I am trying to make it a point to do a little bit every day otherwise it just gets overwhelming and I get tired and give up. Each day I take a couple of drawers in the bedroom to declutter. Today I did the top of the dresser and reorganized my jewelry boxes and got rid of some stuff. Tomorrow maybe two or three drawers. As far as the closet, that’s a two day project. One day clothes and one day shoes and purses. I have to many purses and will be selling some.

Re: What is the one thing

jeanlake — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 23:44:19 GMT

Finding it hard to downscale on coats and jackets. Our weather is all over the place in the Midwest and I keep thinking I'll need the variety of choices. I did stop purchasing new outerwear a couple of years ago.

Re: What is the one thing

RedTop — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 00:00:54 GMT

Like @Mom2Dogs, I have nothing that is still a problem area.

My purging and decluttering started a year before I retired, and has been an ongoing project for 7 years. This house filled with excess stuff during the 16 busiest and most difficult years of my work career when I worked 3 different shifts a week, and had a schedule that changed daily. During that period of time I focused on my family and what had to be done, like keeping everyone healthy, checking homework, paying bills and college tuition, doing laundry and getting to the grocery store.

I can’t relate to having multiple closets filled with just my clothes, or having lots of handbags/pairs of shoes, makeup, or special storage areas for numerous books, candles, extra dishes, etc. I’m not a shopper, I don’t like to spend my money, and I’m a minimalist when it comes to what I need to live my life.

I can relate to clearing out a loved ones home in a short amount of time after they die, and bringing a ton of their stuff into my house to sort. I’ve done it twice, and my husband brought many things from his mothers home when she passed 7 years ago. It took time to let some of those items go in ways that brought peace and closure.

I don't need to read a book on how to let things go, or how to get organized, I just needed to have time to look at what was here and make a decision on what to do with it, and then get it out of here! I also needed to light a fire under the other 3 people who live here to start looking at what they have, and what they need. Right now, every personal item type thing that belongs to me, would fit in the hatch space of my Toyota Highlander.

Re: What is the one thing

Mom2Dogs — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 00:25:14 GMT

@RedTop..You have had your hands full with a wild work schedule and a family...my hat is off to your!

My push to purge was moving....The house DH and I live in since our marriage 40 years this year is the one he and his ex lived in!!

It was not decorated at all so I have put my stamp on it but I'd like to pick out a house on my own....for what ever reason we cannot sell this house, much to my extreme disappointment.

Your comment about fitting your things in the car reminded me that I told my husband that our house is so move ready I could pack us up...with no help from him...in one day...and I really think I could do it...just wish I would get the chance to do it.....I'm gonna die here, and yes, I now to those might say appreciate what you have...I do....we all have dreams........