topic Re: Stuff-ocation! in Home

Stuff-ocation!

house_cat — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 18:58:55 GMT

I went to a friend's house last week. It's twice the size of mine and just she and her husband live in it. It's very clean, but there is so much stuff in it that she can only use the kitchen, living room, bathrooms and one of the bedrooms. Everything else is full of stuff - not in a dirty way like the "Hoarders" show, but full of stuff nevertheless. The first thing she said to me was, "I have a little problem with buying things".

I'm not judging her - we all have our issues. Here's what surprised me, though. She wanted to know where I got the Lock-n-Lock pie taker that I'd brought with me. I told her QVC. She said she'd never watched it or bought anything from QVC. I immediately shut up about it, because I didn't want to turn her on to something new. Her DH has confided in mine that he's hesitant to leave town for any period of time because she "goes shopping". That must be a hard habit to break.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

kitcat51 — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:07:58 GMT

What did your friend say when you told her you were going to write a post about her, her home, her shopping habits & what her husband confided to yours?

Re: Stuff-ocation!

house_cat — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:09:45 GMT

@kitcat51 wrote:
What did your friend say when you told her you were going to write a post about her, her home, her shopping habits & what her husband confided to yours?

I sense snarkasm.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

Kitlynn — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:10:35 GMT

I think some people just don't realize how much stuff they have purchased and they get things and then forget what they have gotten and the next thing they know they are being taken over by things. It is really hard for them to go through stuff and just clear out and purge. So they just keep getting more. I think all of us do it to some degree such as lipstick, purses, etc. For others it is in every thing. It is sad when this happens because they aren't enjoying anything they have bought.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

house_cat — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:14:04 GMT

@Kitlynn

No. You're right. She clearly was concerned about her problem and not enjoying her stuff. It makes me sad that I can't help, but I'm wise enough to know that I can't. It's between her and her husband to deal with.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

PhilaLady1 — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:33:08 GMT

Everbody's got something. Noone is perfect. A good thing is that your friend does have awareness. That's always a good first step.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

scatcat — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:37:01 GMT

Has she always hoarded?

My friend’s wife is a major hoarder. He thinks she can change but after decades, he’s fooling himself. She spends $500 a month on storage units on top of totally filling their house and her car. It’s a sickness

Re: Stuff-ocation!

house_cat — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:38:33 GMT

@PhilaLady1 wrote:
Everbody's got something. Noone is perfect. A good thing is that your friend does have awareness. That's always a good first step.

That's for sure! If she ever should ask me for help, I'll tell her for every pound of blubber I shed, she'll have to give up so much of her stuff. I don't hoard things, but being overweight is a type of hoarding in itself.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

Mom2Dogs — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:44:26 GMT

@kitcat51...this is an anonymous chat board....I do not see an issue

Re: Stuff-ocation!

goldensrbest — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:50:31 GMT

@house_cat I don't see anything wrong in you speaking of this, but i hope she does not know that you are on this chat forum.She might not feel that way.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

Lipstickdiva — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:54:53 GMT

If she can get ahold of herself and get her shopping under control, I think the best thing might be for her to sell, donate or toss stuff that she isn't going to use and then stop buying so much useless stuff. If she's can't get her shopping under control, even if she does do the above, she'll just start buying again.

Perhaps there is an underlying reason why she is buying "stuff." Maybe she's unhappy in some way and trying to make herself feel better with material things. There is some reason she is over buying.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

kitcat51 — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:59:46 GMT

@house_cat wrote:
@kitcat51 wrote:
What did your friend say when you told her you were going to write a post about her, her home, her shopping habits & what her husband confided to yours?
I sense snarkasm.

I did know what your answer would be before I asked just like you know your friends apology means she's deeply embarrassed about what she's doing...as a friend I would never share that with anyone but I'd ask her privately if she needed help.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

AuntG — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 20:01:07 GMT

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
@kitcat51...this is an anonymous chat board....I do not see an issue
====
Exactly, @Mom2Dogs. OP did nothing wrong in posting her observations. One thing the neighbor has going for her is that she keeps a clean house and recognizes she has a problem.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

kitcat51 — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 20:20:19 GMT

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
@kitcat51...this is an anonymous chat board....I do not see an issue

I don't care if its anonymous, I don't share personal info about family & friends unless I ask & if I asked it would be with the goal of getting helpful advice & they would be able to read it too.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

house_cat — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 20:42:28 GMT

@kitcat51 wrote:
@Mom2Dogs wrote:
@kitcat51...this is an anonymous chat board....I do not see an issue
I don't care if its anonymous, I don't share personal info about family & friends unless I ask & if I asked it would be with the goal of getting helpful advice & they would be able to read it too.

It's too bad you can't take it as an opportunity for us to discuss an issue that is not uncommon. I always learn from my forum friends.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

Mom2Dogs — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 20:47:43 GMT

@kitcat51....we all have our own opinon about this issue....and we can agree to disagree on this subject..... but if I NEED TO VENT about something/someone because discussing the issue with a friend is not possible, this is the place I would go.....my circle of friends is very small.....if I would vent to one of them I am sure it would get back to that person....which would open a can of worms.......we all need a place to air 'stuff' that happens in our lives.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

Drythe — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 20:49:25 GMT

@house_cat

My DH thinks twice about leaving me home alone, (although he does) because I always rearrange the furniture!

Re: Stuff-ocation!

house_cat — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 20:54:41 GMT

@Drythe wrote:
@house_cat

My DH thinks twice about leaving me home alone, (although he does) because I always rearrange the furniture!

Me, too! Years ago, when DH was working the mid-shift, he got home at 1 am and I had neglected to tell him that I changed the bedroom around. He came into the dark room and fractured his foot on the dresser. He's never let me live that down, and I've got to admit he had a right to be upset about it. I still do it, I've just learned to warn him.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

Wiscfan3 — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 21:06:22 GMT

We see so many families who are struggling to feed their children or have no money to buy basic necessities, and so many who have lost everything in floods, hurricanes, fires, tornadoes, etc. I wish there was some way that the people like your friend, who waste money on things they don't need, could help the ones who are struggling. It would probably give them more joy to know that they are helping someone, than any satisfaction they get from more stuff. Maybe many of them also help others, I don't know. I just see such great need vs such great waste.

Re: Stuff-ocation!

kaydee50 — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 21:13:06 GMT

It sounds like she's bored and shops to give her something to do. Definitely an addiction.

I don't see anything wrong with posting this about a friend. It can apply to a lot of people and unless her friend knows her "forum name" how would she know? And she didn't know about QVC so what's the problem?