topic Re: "Stuffocation" in Home

"Stuffocation"

lolakimono — Sun, 27 May 2018 23:00:01 GMT

Some interesting stats here-

Re: "Stuffocation"

Annabellethecat66 — Sun, 27 May 2018 23:34:48 GMT

@lolakimono Do you have my house bugged? Those pictures could be my house!

There's a comedian who does a whole routine about Americans and their 'stuff'.

It is very funny and with me, hits really close to home.

He talks about how so many of us have our house filled with 'stuff' and when it's full of 'stuff' we rent rooms to put more 'stuff' in.

The 'stuff' we've put in those rooms stays there. No one ever visits that 'stuff'. I can't remember much more but it's really funny and true.

There are even TV shows about people who bid on these 'rooms' to buy other people's 'stuff' so they can add to their 'stuff'.

Years ago my late husband (who was as neat as I am a junk stuffer) used to refer to my things as 'junk'. I'd say, "It's my 'stuff'! Don't call it junk ..... call is 'stuff'.

Hummmm??? I never could get him to call it 'stuff', to him it was always 'junk'. In my opinion, there is a vast difference. But, I'm the only one in my family who believes in the difference.

My oldest daughter is convinced there is a gene where people who have it are 'stuff' gatherers. (How'd you like that description?) "STUFF GATHERERS". I like that.

My late Mother was just like me. I never lived with her so I can't say I copied her.

Come to think of it maybe there is a gene that's carried for "Stuff Gatherers".

I am not a hoarder, neither was my mom. Not anywhere near that bad. I just have a lot of stuff and my stuff has a specific place in my home.

Re: "Stuffocation"

Mom2Dogs — Sun, 27 May 2018 23:36:30 GMT

I weeded out years ago...and never looked back. It is so much easier to clean the house without extra 'stuff'.

Re: "Stuffocation"

151949 — Sun, 27 May 2018 23:38:09 GMT

I live very frugally in comparison to many Americans , however, I still have way too much in comparison to what my Mom & my Grandmother had. My parents and grandparents were very happy in their lives despite having way fewer possessions.

Re: "Stuffocation"

Sweet Caroline 1 — Sun, 27 May 2018 23:47:59 GMT

Annabellethecat, you're comedian is George Carlin. I love his work. Lolakimono, thank you for posting this. Every bit of it is true. Thanks!

Re: "Stuffocation"

lolakimono — Sun, 27 May 2018 23:54:00 GMT

@Annabellethecat66

I don't know if you've followed my posts about having my entire house of flooring replaced.

I do not live in a palace. It is a 3 BR townhome with an unfinished basement. I do not have a garage. The challenge is how to coexist with two kitties, finish out the school year with stuff I need for work on a daily basis, and rip up an entire house of carpeting.

I had to rent a storage unit and hire movers to get the big pieces of furniture out, so that we could work around what is remaining to pull the carpet up. I have about 50% of my furniture left.

I have 4,000 pounds of flooring material being delivered in a few weeks, and I need space to house it. I'm not sure if I will be able to fit it in my basement. It is three pallets of materials.

I have read your posts about downsizing in the next few years, and my advice is to start the process NOW. I went this summer to help my mom during cataract surgery, and my "job" was to help her organize her art supplies. What she really meant was to turn in my late father's space into an art space. It took us almost the entire 10 days I was there to do this, and it was one room. Just the process of emptying the closet, moving everything into the hallways, bagging for donation, taking trash to the dump, breaking down things for recycling, dropping off items at her church and the local elementary schools, and going through paperwork took an eternity. I live out of state, as does another brother, and the time it would take us to go through an entire house could be months. I hope that you can surround yourself with treasures that bring you joy, and let the rest go. It is the best gift you can give to your girls.

Re: "Stuffocation"

Annabellethecat66 — Mon, 28 May 2018 00:22:45 GMT

@lolakimono I have tried to interest my 3 daughters on taking part in sorting all of the albums, videos, you name it (all 50 some years worth)....I understand, they live in different states and are busy.

My late husband wouldn't let me throw out one single toy, book, you name it, that belonged to my girls.

Much of their things are in the attic. I do live in a pretty big house that we raised 3 daughter in. Some of the rooms I don't even go in to. No need.

Sometimes I think of moving. My girls would like for me to move but I like the area I live in and definitely don't like going closer toward the Washington/Northern Va DC area.

Once I go upstairs (split foyer) I don't have to go up and down the stairs except to go in and out of the house.

I just don't worry much about it. I keep telling them they aren't going to know some of these people but....well...not my problem.

They are wonderful daughters. They look out for me when I need them. I'm 72 this year. I am in good health (for the most part).

I am comfortable that I can pay people to help me with things and I have really good friends who are THERE when I need them.

My daughters would like for me to move into a condo and just leave everything here, hire someone to pack all of it up.

I'm like, "OK, then what happens to "the stuff"? They think I'm attached to the house because my husband died here, but I keep telling them they're wrong. I just enjoy the house. We built it and I know everything about it.

Who knows? I might decide to move. I'm a person who decides something and moves on it.

When my youngest daughter decided to move to Denver, I helped her organize the move but she did most of the logistics.

I am familiar with companies who pack up everything, put it in pods, etc. I might have the same company come help me.

Right now, I'm fine. I do enjoy Denver (living in the city). That would make me more likely willing to move closer to my daughter who lives in the city here.

I have no intention of going through all of these albums, videos, etc and separating them. If my daughters want them, they can do that.

I've told them they could have this house free and clear. It's long been paid for. They don't want to live here, I understand that.....I guess.

So, until I decide where I want to live, I'll stay here with my 'stuff'.

Re: "Stuffocation"

house_cat — Mon, 28 May 2018 00:49:45 GMT

Interesting statistics. I think I'm a below average "stuffer" but I love the word "stuffication"... that's exactly how I feel when things get cluttered.

Re: "Stuffocation"

jannabelle1 — Mon, 28 May 2018 00:54:20 GMT

@lolakimono, well said. My advice is the same - downsize and go through "stuff" while you can and don't leave it to your children to take care of. My dear mother (with my help) finally decided to move out of her home and into a retirement (assisted living) apartment. I live out of state and arranged the sale of her house and the move, and encouraged her to start going through all of the stuff in the home she had shared with my deceased dad for 40 years. I should have known better to think that she could handle it at 85 years old, she had packed 1 box. It was a nightmare - I'm an only child, spent almost 2 weeks packing and going through her things, and ended up calling an estate sale company to liquidate what I couldn't handle. It was sad for my mother, and sad for me. When she died, my DH and I only had 3 days to clear out her assisted living apartment and again we had to call in people to just take the stuff we had no use for. Too many of us accumulate and hang on to too much stuff.

Re: "Stuffocation"

blackhole99 — Mon, 28 May 2018 01:18:33 GMT

I just went through my clothing again and have a box full to take to recycle.We still have not cleaned out our shed outside, but it's just junk in there that needs to be disposed of.

Re: "Stuffocation"

qvcfreak — Mon, 28 May 2018 02:25:17 GMT

I got rid of everything I didn’t need, use or knew I had when we downsized 2 years ago. I go through my closet after every season and if I didn’t wear something I donate it. I read somewhere to hook all hangers from the back, once you use the item, rehang it from the front. All items left hooked through the back were not used.

Re: "Stuffocation"

jeanlake — Mon, 28 May 2018 02:45:06 GMT

This subject interests me because I've known both tidy/minimalist and disorganized/stuff collectors in my extended family. I used to work with a college counselor who gave presentations on affluenza crisis in young America, or consumerism among upper middle class, wealthy and new rich. According to his research, needing excess doesn't just happen, it's a psychological malaise.

Well, that's not a happy thought, is it?

It used to mildly annoy me that my dad worked at not having quantity, but he did like quality. Now I get where he was coming from. It was especially nice when he passed and his tidy apartment was easy to pack up.

Re: "Stuffocation"

GCR18 — Mon, 28 May 2018 02:51:09 GMT

I had stuffocation, but I have been freed. I have too many clothes, but they fit in one closet. As I get free time, I will continue to pack some things for goodwill.

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BirkiLady — Mon, 28 May 2018 06:23:33 GMT

@jeanlakeWe were raised like your father. Cannot imagine having anything around that hasn't been used or worn in a year. It goes to Charity or the trash. Life is so much easier when its lived in an organized manner. Have always been grateful my husband was raised with the same attitude.It certainly made frequent moving simple! All of this talk of "decluttering" makes me cringe; I have pictured some kitchens and closets . . . and hope my mental images are so wrong.

Re: "Stuffocation"

queendiva — Tue, 29 May 2018 18:56:58 GMT

@lolakimono: what a great post! You have no idea how timely this is for me.

I have posted on these boards that I am preparing to downsize this summer. Stuffocation: what I great term! That is what I have been suffering from. My New Years resolution for 2018 was to cure my stuffocation, which I now know is the name of my disease. I am appalled at the amount of stuff in this house and how much I moved here when I last downsized in 2006. Kids are grown and moved out. It's my stuff not theirs. And a good amount that is their childhood stuff is my attachment.

I am doing this for myself, my mental and physical health and for them, so that they will not have to deal with it all when I am gone. I want to have more space and time in my life so that I can do more now and enjoy time with grandchildren in the future. It all starts now.

Re: "Stuffocation"

queendiva — Mon, 28 May 2018 10:43:41 GMT

@lolakimono: would you be able to share the link for your OP here? I would love to print out a hard copy to post inside my closet for frequent referral in my future un-stuffed home TIA..

Re: "Stuffocation"

lolakimono — Mon, 28 May 2018 10:48:44 GMT

@queendiva

The flooring project has been difficult, working around two kitties. They want to know where we are at all times, so if the door is closed they get crazy. My approach has been to go through EVERYTHING, and take it out of the closets, drawers, etc. so that while we do this, we can also declutter/organize. Everything is in chaos right now. We are 75% finished pulling up the main floor carpet, which is the LR and DR, but we just keep moving things around, pulling up another section, and moving things back. Right now our main floor has two chairs and two ottomans for furniture, and that's it for seating. We have no overhead lighting in our LR, so we have a chest that holds two lamps and some side tables/bookcases that hold others. Of course, we have the scratching posts and cardboard scratchers. We have a media console, with a giant TV that we are working around since it's so heavy.

In the meantime, I applied for a new job, so every day I am checking messages to see if there is any news. I have bins in my basement that are related to teaching, which I can't really purge until I find out if I am changing schools and changing levels. If I end up going to HS, it is a less privileged school, and many of the supplies I have could be used there, but I don't know if I could take them to the new school until school starts. I don't want to take them to my current school, in case I end up switching jobs, so they stay in the basement. If I change jobs, I would have to empty the entire classroom (have moved about 7 times in 9 years), which is its own project. I just keep plugging along day after day.

I had to tell my mom many days during her office makeover to art studio, "does this fit in to your new art space?". It was hard for her to let things go, but there were many "business" items that were no longer needed (e.g. 17 reams of copy paper). I did the math and showed her how many pages she would have to print EACH DAY to use up that much paper in her lifetime. She loves the space now, but it was a long ten days getting her to purge.

Re: "Stuffocation"

lolakimono — Mon, 28 May 2018 10:50:19 GMT

@queendiva wrote:
@lolakimono: would you be able to share the link for your OP here? I would love to print out a hard copy to post inside my closet for frequent referral in my future un-stuffed home TIA..

@queendiva

Here you go:

http://decluttrme.com/2015/12/20/stuffocation/

Re: "Stuffocation"

lolakimono — Mon, 28 May 2018 10:57:51 GMT

@queendiva

Here are some (I hope!) motivational pictures from helping my mom this summer. She has a three BR house. One BR is a designated guest room, and one was the office/extra guest sleeping. My brother has four kids, so she wanted a space for when they come over that the whole family could have a place to sleep. (I was not successful in getting her to purge any wall art. As an artist, many of the paintings are hers or from her friends. It's like having a gallery, LOL.) It is not a large space, but everything placement wise needs to revolve around the futon and being able to get into and out of the closet.

Re: "Stuffocation"

lolakimono — Mon, 28 May 2018 10:59:52 GMT

The bookcase only holds things related to art- inspiration books of things she wants to paint or has painted, and things about techniques. The bottom shelf is for works "in progress." She still works part time, so there are only certain days in which she can take classes and work on art.