topic Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home in Home

Excellent advice for a relaxing home

feline groovy — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:10:45 GMT

Things in Your Home That Are Making You Unhappy

It's time to take a second look at your decor.

HouseBeautiful.com January 8.2018

When you walk into a room, pay attention to how you feel. Do your surroundings inspire you? Or do you experience a vaguely persistent "blah" feeling? If the latter rings true, you might want to take a second look at the decor and clutter within the space. Surprisingly, these things can have an impact on your day-to-day emotions, according to experts.

Heirlooms and gifts.

Your aunt had great intentions when she passed down that fine figurine collection to you, but that doesn't mean you should keep it. "We hold onto heirlooms/gifts even though we don't like or enjoy them because we feel guilty giving them away," says psychologist and author Dr. Susan Bartell. "They weigh us down emotionally and cause physical clutter. We keep things that don't match our sense of style, and we then don't have space for items that would truly bring us joy."

Your kids' stuff.

It's not just a few toys on the floor — it's the daily tide of toys, clothes, accessories, and even artwork. "Kid clutter makes parents anxious, because it is so difficult to clean up and to find a space to keep it, so it worsens the feeling of being out of control — a feeling that so many parents already have around raising kids, when things aren't going smoothly," says Dr. Bartell.

Books you no longer love.

"Books inspire such strong emotions, because they have been portals into other worlds, they gave us other lives and expanded imaginations," says Christina Waters, PhD, author of Inside the Flame: The Joy of Treasuring What You Already Have. "We tend to keep those that have been with us during important times in our lives. It's like giving up a piece of our lives to let go of a beloved book." But when a book has the opposite effect, it can stir up negative emotions instead.

Your television.

If you have a habit of clicking on TV as soon as you get home, listen up: Excess noise causes excess stress (and makes getting through your daily chores more challenging), so it's better to store your appliance behind a cabinet to reduce your urge to keep it on at all times.

Your childhood keepsakes.

You'll never give up your favorite doll or teddy bear, but the less-important artifacts from childhood can be tough to part with — but their presence can take an emotional toll. "Facing up to the fact that a former treasure no longer holds its old magic is to acknowledge that we ourselves have changed. And often that realization forces us to ask ourselves, okay, what now would be a source of happiness?" says Waters. "Change always brings up questions of who we are and what we want out of our lives. To find that the collection of dolls we've had since childhood no longer enchants, is to be forced to grow up. Always a tricky prospect."

Your mirrors.

These decorative, reflective surfaces might not be the best choice of home decor. According to a report by researchers at the Institute of Psychiatry in London, a study of 50 people revealed that looking in the mirror eventually stressed them out about their looks. We're not suggesting you should start applying your mascara or curling your hair mirror-free, but you might want to limit mirrors to your bathroom to reduce the stress in your life.

Collections that no longer bring joy.

A once-beloved collection can become burdensome when you're no longer into the items. "The collection is associated with memories of a time in life or a person, and so the difficulty with parting can be the unconscious feeling you are abandoning the memory or person," says Dr. Gail Saltz , psychiatrist and host of "The Power of Different" podcast. "It helps to create your own very tiny memorial to the memory, like a note describing them or one piece that signifies the rest of the collection kept in a special place so you can know that removing the rest is not forgetting the person or memory."

Your unmade bed.

Skipping this chore has a surprisingly negative impact on your life. You see, organization is key to handling the daily hassles (and stressors) of life with grace, so starting your day off by tidying up your bedroom is crucial. And since making your bed every day might help you sleep better, and we all know being tired is a huge stressor, it's basically a win-win when it comes to your anxiety management.

Unused hobby supplies.

"Abandoned or unused hobby supplies are a form of aspirational clutter. It's much easier to collect the materials for a hobby than to make the time and effort to pursue it," says Francine Jay, the blogger behind Miss Minimalist and author of The Joy of Less. "And we feel that as long as we have a closet full of yarn, we're a knitter — even if we haven't touched our needles in months (or years!)." That stash perpetuates a particularly strong cycle of guilt and anxiety, since it's something you spent money on and didn't use.

Heavy drapes.

Thick velvet drapes shroud your living room in darkness and almost immediately attracts all the dust in your home. "Generally, the heavier your furniture and window treatments are, the heavier the atmosphere feels," says Laura Benko, holistic design expert and author of The Holistic Home: Feng Shui for Mind Body Spirit Space. "There are certain times when a space calls for a substantial, weightier drape, but choose your window coverings carefully and remember, 'light and airy' will make you feel light and airy!"

The wrong color.

"Color has a proven psychological impact on mood. We know that reds, orange, and fiery tones are active and stimulating colors, blues and greens are more relaxing, and gray and beige are neutral," Benko says. But she also stresses the importance of choosing a color you love, rather than one that's trendy. "Say you have a specific association with red — you can't stand it. Then that overrides the general consensus whose telling you what to paint your home," she says.

Broken items.

Every time you open the cabinet, there it is: your broken vintage teacup. It might be past repair, but you still hesitate throwing it out. "My theory is that it's a feeling of lack," says Anjie Cho, architect, certified feng shui consultant and founder of Holistic Spaces. "We're scared of not having enough, it's a poverty mentality. Which really is about not feeling "enough" or worthy in ourselves. The fear of letting go of things. But cultivating the poverty mentality only perpetuates it, and surrounding yourself with broken items creates a similar broken energy in our inner and outer lives."

That heap of old papers.

The worst thing about a pile of paperwork is knowing just how all over the place its contents can be. "Paperwork is overwhelming and tedious. Old greeting cards and correspondence is often just like broken items, it represents old memories that people are afraid to let go," says Collette Shine, professional organizer and founder of Organize and Shine. "Big piles of paper clutter can bring on anxiety, feelings of being overwhelmed, shame and definitely stress." Breaking the pile down in easier-to-tackle chunks can help deal with the overwhelming feelings.

Open storage.

"Using an extra shelf to store stacks of plates and spices is totally worth it, but don't over do it," warns Amelia Meena, founder of Appleshine, who says people have a tendency to store too many bins and tools instead of getting rid of unnecessary items as needed, creating clutter — which, we know can bring on feelings of anxiety and stress.

Decorative table trays.

When used correctly, these containers are tools experts like Maeve Richmond, founder of Maeve's Method, swear by. "They provide a target or 'drop zone,'" she says. The only problem? They often end up being a container for random clutter, which then serves as the focal point in your space, causing stress in a room you go to seeking relaxation.

Random mugs (or promotional freebies).

Sure, that mug was funny when you found it at the thrift store, but now the joke is a bit old. "This type of clutter is annoying and my clients have a hard time getting rid of this stuff," Shine says. "The conference swag also always seems like it would be useful, but it usually just ends up rattling around your kitchen or junk drawer. It's hard to let an item go when it's free or on sale, because of the perception that you got a good deal or you think it must be worth something."

Learning to let go.

While acknowledging what things in your life trigger negative emotions is half the battle, letting go of these objects can be surprisingly difficult. It might be better to reframe decluttering as an act of self-kindness. "Value your space as much as your stuff," says Francine Jay. "We need space to engage in activities we love — be that play with our children, do yoga in our bedroom, or dance a tango in the living room. It's what we do, not what we own, that makes life memorable and meaning."

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

on the bay — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:10:32 GMT

@feline groovy-

That has some helpful advice.

I don't totally agree with her last statement. The things we do vs what we have. I think both can be important to us.

Your signature line-so true!

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

Snicks1 — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:12:32 GMT

@feline groovy, I would agree with almost all of this. Although I have never really understood the "bring you joy" theory, in anything, other than people. lol

I dislike clutter a lot, so I don't have every surface covered in "decor". Less decor also makes for easier, faster cleaning, which, while it's a necessary daily evil, it also doesn't bring me joy.

Anyway, thanks for posting the article, I found it interesting to read,

Have a good weekend.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

tansy — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:17:19 GMT

Unused hobby supplies strikes a nerve😏

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

NorthernLights — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:21:40 GMT

Honestly, I could always learn a thing or two about keeping my home more organized. But what really keeps it relaxing is a moderate amount of guests.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

nana59 — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:43:47 GMT

@tansy wrote:
Unused hobby supplies strikes a nerve😏

Just came across a bin of soap-making supplies. Was a one-time activity I did with my grandchildren....ten years ago! It's on its way to be donated!

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

butterfly123 — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:52:51 GMT

@feline groovy

May I add a thought about home?

Learning to unplug electronics 2 hours before bed.

IPod, IPad, computer....

Thoughts?

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

DREAMON — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 03:52:52 GMT

The stacks of paper in my office make me tense as all get out. I can't wait till I get caught up with work and have that lifted. I love the Holidays but that combined with the end of the year make paperwork crazy.

I can't wait to get my relaxing home office back.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

Sweet_Serenity — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 09:22:46 GMT

Excellent topic! I'm a minimalist every part of my life. Including clothes, makeup, jewelry and my home decor. Realize "less is more" not for everyone. My lifestyle choices help keep me sane.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

AuntG — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 10:23:30 GMT

Childhood toys take me to a happy place so I'd have a hard time parting with them.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

CAMOGIRL — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 10:44:03 GMT

I am definitely an unmade made culprit... I go thru times of making it up and it looks nice and then I go for awhile without making it up -laziness?, don’t not really care?, both??. I have been doing this for several years now... and, I was taught at a very early age to make my bed every morning not unless I was sick and still in it. You know, the perfect corners, sheets pulled tight and tucked under, pillows fluffed, bedspread on straight...

So, what am I going to do this morning as soon as my husband gets up - yep, make that bed!!! 😀

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

jackthebear — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 11:20:15 GMT

@AuntG wrote:
Childhood toys take me to a happy place so I'd have a hard time parting with them.

that's good to keep them then

I think the point here was that they often may not and people keep them anyway,

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

qualitygal — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 11:25:27 GMT

@NorthernLights wrote:
Honestly, I could always learn a thing or two about keeping my home more organized. But what really keeps it relaxing is a moderate amount of guests.

In this same vein for me, it's the phone not ringing. (My add and bold).

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

Nataliesgramma — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 12:24:58 GMT

Enjoyed the article...Thanks for sharing

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

AngelPuppy1 — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 12:47:18 GMT

Wonderful article! But some of these are difficult! At least for me. I am a keeper. My husband gets rid of too much and I keep too much. One of the things I attribute it to, is the fact that growing up, I didn't have a lot. My parents were not well off and we got what we needed and a few treats here and there. But when I got something I really liked -- say a new pair of shoes -- I was hesitant to wear them because I was afraid they would get ruined or worn out and then I would not get another pair! I have this hang up now. If 1 is good, then 2, 3 and more is better! I feel like I am over-compensating.

I have seen pictures of homes or actually been in people's homes and had this instant feeling of relaxation or contentment. I couldn't even put my finger on why they made me feel this way. Some homes were very sparse and some had a lot of stuff!

I keep things as a way to keep me connected to times gone by, people who are no longer here, and past experiences.

I have a strong connection to my "stuff." I wish I didn't. Yes, I do feel I border at times on having a problem but so far these things give me comfort!

And as for my home being relaxing --- for the most part, it is! I do want to get rid of some things though to make it feel even more relaxing and open!

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

Teddie — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 13:17:11 GMT

@DREAMON wrote:
The stacks of paper in my office make me tense as all get out. I can't wait till I get caught up with work and have that lifted. I love the Holidays but that combined with the end of the year make paperwork crazy.
I can't wait to get my relaxing home office back.

Me too, @DREAMON

My home office is bothering me tremendously. When I’m running around cleaning up the house, any paperwork I find goes into the office onto the desk. Then I shut the door to that room. I used to be meticulous about that room and my desk. Everything was organized and put away. Now the desk has become a dumping place for all the paperwork. I don’t like the feeling of disorganization. That is one of my projects to hit.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

Harpa — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 13:22:46 GMT

I really agree with the excess television (radio or other) noise! I can't listen to music casually like my DH can. (I guess because I'm a musician.)

No TV in our living room, that's for sure!

The rest of the list pretty much doesn't apply to me, since I'm a person of peace, harmony & generally no clutter.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

Karie2022 — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 13:40:31 GMT

@Snicks1 wrote:
@feline groovy, I would agree with almost all of this. Although I have never really understood the "bring you joy" theory, in anything, other than people. lol

I dislike clutter a lot, so I don't have every surface covered in "decor". Less decor also makes for easier, faster cleaning, which, while it's a necessary daily evil, it also doesn't bring me joy.

Anyway, thanks for posting the article, I found it interesting to read,

Have a good weekend.

This^^ the less stuff one has everywhere the cleaner the house looks; I also hate clutter, makes me crazy and stressed, but I’m ocd so that plays into it I’m sure😂 I have a bakers rack that has very little on it, drives my mother crazy, she thinks it should be full of items...different strokes I guess

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

DREAMON — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 14:16:28 GMT

@Teddie wrote:
@DREAMON wrote:
The stacks of paper in my office make me tense as all get out. I can't wait till I get caught up with work and have that lifted. I love the Holidays but that combined with the end of the year make paperwork crazy.
I can't wait to get my relaxing home office back.
Me too, @DREAMON

My home office is bothering me tremendously. When I’m running around cleaning up the house, any paperwork I find goes into the office onto the desk. Then I shut the door to that room. I used to be meticulous about that room and my desk. Everything was organized and put away. Now the desk has become a dumping place for all the paperwork. I don’t like the feeling of disorganization. That is one of my projects to hit.

I hear ya.....We own a business and the office is in our home. I try to keep it as organized as possible but this time of year is the worst.

Good Luck with your organization.

Re: Excellent advice for a relaxing home

Regal Bee — Sat, 13 Jan 2018 14:44:43 GMT

This is a great article....thanks for sharing.

I always make our bed, keep the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and keep the laundry done. To me, these are essential to a peaceful home.

I like everything picked up and ordered all the time and yes, it is work but worth it.

Never a television in our living room. That space is for talking and entertaining.