topic Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum in Kitchen

Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

FunkyHulaGirl — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:02:54 GMT

A friend of mine sent me an email inviting me to her home for dinner and a DVD movie on Sunday. She said she'll make corned beef, and asked me to bring dessert.

I really would like to see her, but there's a problem: I really, really don't like corned beef! Do you think it would be appropriate to tell her that I'd love to come, but since I don't eat corned beef I'll pick up something for me to eat instead? Or should I just decline?

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

ValuSkr — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:06:47 GMT

Didn't she ask if corned beef would be okay for you? I would have said, in the nicest way possible of course, that I really didn't care for it. Say you can come after dinner and will bring dessert and look forward to seeing her. Hopefully she'll pick a movie that's not objectionable.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

Colonel Meow — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:07:32 GMT

I would simply explain what you have just shared here, that you really don't care for corned beef. If she is a gracious hostess, she will find another meal to serve. Her invitation was to share your company, not that particular meal - and I'm sure she would not mind making that accommodation, as any true friend would.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

missy1 — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:08:00 GMT

Are you the only one invited over for dinner? She should have asked if you like corned beef? I would email her and tell her the truth.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

alicedee — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:09:00 GMT

Instead of saying you "don't like" corned beef, can you say something like "Oh darn, I can't eat corned beef. But I really want to come...would it be ok if I just eat the other dishes, and can I bring something else to contribute?"

If she's a close enough friend, that should be ok to say.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

wonderfulworld — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:13:52 GMT

If I really wanted to see her I would go. Put a small amount of corned beef on my plate with the other offerings. Cut it in small pieces, push it around and eat the rest, hide the corn beef under a cabbage leaf. When your meal is over jump up to help clear and put it in the sink.

And have a big helping of the desert you brought. I have an aversion to corn and any kinds of beans, spicy foods...you get the idea. I always go. Eat two rolls.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

Kitlynn — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:20:46 GMT

I would just be honest with her and then if she says she loves it or something like that then I would just say I really want to see you and spend the evening visiting and watching a movie so do you mind if I bring my own meat along with desert. I wouldn't be offended at all if I were her. I have a friend that does that because the only meat she eats is chicken so she always brings that for herself and then just eats whatever sides we have.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

blackhole99 — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:42:36 GMT

I wouldn't say anything to your friend about the corned beef, if she cared whether you liked it or not she would have asked. I would just eat what I liked at the dinner and avoid the corned beef.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

FunkyHulaGirl — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:51:41 GMT

Well, for the past few weeks we've been intending to get together at her place, order in a pizza, and watch a movie we both wanted to see.

Here's what she wrote; I don't know what "boiled pot" is (potatoes?), or Italian cabbage, but to be honest, none of it sounds appealing. It sounds like she already bought a corned beef.

Wanna come over Sunday afternoon for a belated St. Patrick's Day
dinner...3pm? Making corned beef, boiled pot, Italian cabbage (my mom's concoction)
and Irish soda bread (Irish MIL's recipe). If so, would you be willing to
bring desert?

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

Alsee — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 00:54:35 GMT

On 3/17/2015 alicedee said:
Instead of saying you "don't like" corned beef, can you say something like "Oh darn, I can't eat corned beef. But I really want to come...would it be ok if I just eat the other dishes, and can I bring something else to contribute?"

If she's a close enough friend, that should be ok to say.

Well said. This is exactly the way I would handle the invitation too

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

Daysdee — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 02:44:33 GMT

I've seen corned beef and cabbage referred to as ""New England Boiled Dinner"" in some (old) cookbooks.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

doglover3 — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 02:54:32 GMT

I wouldn't say a thing, go, enjoy the meal with just putting a tiny tiny bit of the corned beef on your plate and eat everything else and just leave that saying, boy, am I full, can't even finish my meal. Just don't take much corned beef to start with OR just say I love the potatoes and cabbage but am not fond of corned beef so hope you don't mind if I just eat the potatoes and cabbage.

I love the potatoes and cabbage with the corned beef but like you, I don't care for corned beef at all.

I don't think she being a friend would mind at all if you say you love the potatoes and cabbage cooked in with the corned beef but don't care for the corned beef itself. I think that would be better than saying or hinting she make something different when she says it is a belated St. Patrick's Day dinner.

I have done this and no one has ever said a thing. We have a friend that is strict vegetarian and while I always make sure to have things on the table for him I make what I am planning for the others to enjoy and he is satisfied he always says. It is never a biggie.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

Colonel Meow — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 03:01:25 GMT

On 3/17/2015 FunkyHulaGirl said:
Well, for the past few weeks we've been intending to get together at her place, order in a pizza, and watch a movie we both wanted to see.

Here's what she wrote; I don't know what "boiled pot" is (potatoes?), or Italian cabbage, but to be honest, none of it sounds appealing. It sounds like she already bought a corned beef.

Wanna come over Sunday afternoon for a belated St. Patrick's Day
dinner...3pm? Making corned beef, boiled pot, Italian cabbage (my mom's concoction)
and Irish soda bread (Irish MIL's recipe). If so, would you be willing to
bring desert?

After reading that this is specifically a belated St. Patrick's Day dinner, I revise my earlier recommendation. I would tell your friend that I would be delighted to attend the party, and leave it at that. It sounds as though there will be plenty of other food to eat instead of the corned beef, so you certainly won't starve.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

January121 — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 03:17:56 GMT

I would tell her the truth so you don't have to pretend or make excuses when you are there ... the truth is always the right way to go. I am sure she will understand.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

Still Raining — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 03:24:02 GMT

Don't say anything, since it must be in honor of St. Patrick's day, just go and eat all the other dishes and take a knock-out dessert. If anyone asks, you can be honest and say that you don't care for the corned beef. I would guess that no one will notice. Have a good time.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

doglover3 — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 04:29:32 GMT

On 3/17/2015 Still Raining said:
Don't say anything, since it must be in honor of St. Patrick's day, just go and eat all the other dishes and take a knock-out dessert. If anyone asks, you can be honest and say that you don't care for the corned beef. I would guess that no one will notice. Have a good time.

agree and have a nice time

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

occasionalrain — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 04:45:03 GMT

Say nothing about her menu, just don't take the food you don't care to eat. No one with manners would ask you why you didn't choose the corned beef.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

occasionalrain — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 04:47:40 GMT

On 3/17/2015 January121 said: I would tell her the truth so you don't have to pretend or make excuses when you are there ... the truth is always the right way to go. I am sure she will understand.

No, it isn't always the right way to go. If you tell a hostess you don't like her menu, it puts her on the spot to provide something you do like.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

FunkyHulaGirl — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 04:56:39 GMT

Well, it's going to be just the two of us (unless her son doesn't have to work and joins us), so I can't really hope she'll get distracted while I feed the food to her dog. Frankly, boiled potatoes and cabbage don't appeal to me either; I think I might just go with the suggestion that I tell her I "can't" eat corned beef, tell her I'd love to spend the afternoon with her, and ask if she didn't mind if I brought something else for me to eat - I could pick up a sub or a pizza or something.

I figure if she already has the corned beef she's going to cook it anyway, so she can have it for a few meals, but I'm not putting her on the spot by expecting her to provide something else for me. Of course I'll bring a dessert.

Re: Slightly OT: Dinner invitation conundrum

Mrsq2022 — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 05:09:51 GMT

On 3/17/2015 FunkyHulaGirl said:
Well, it's going to be just the two of us (unless her son doesn't have to work and joins us), so I can't really hope she'll get distracted while I feed the food to her dog. Frankly, boiled potatoes and cabbage don't appeal to me either; I think I might just go with the suggestion that I tell her I "can't" eat corned beef, tell her I'd love to spend the afternoon with her, and ask if she didn't mind if I brought something else for me to eat - I could pick up a sub or a pizza or something.

I figure if she already has the corned beef she's going to cook it anyway, so she can have it for a few meals, but I'm not putting her on the spot by expecting her to provide something else for me. Of course I'll bring a dessert.

How about this one - I know I sound like a liar but I really am not at all. Could you say something like "Id love to come! I'm having a big late brunch, so probably won't eat too much, but will bring dessert!!" That way, if she doesn't want to make an extravagent meal she has an out, but if she wants to cook that and have it anyway, fine for her to do so. Then you could have a big late brunch, and pick over her food and have dessert