topic Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work? in Kitchen

How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Tigriss — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:06:31 GMT

Big family issue last night. My sister cooked frozen green beans with a bit of brown sugar in them for the kids (yeah not my favorite either, too sweet in a veggie that shouldn't be). Then my mother came behind her and went to add seasoned salt to that flavor profile, but ended up dumping the whole container in it since she thought the lid came off and the shaker was there. She often doesn't pay attention. When she asked why, "I like season salt in them." Great but not with brown sugar as well.....well...you put it on the fries and in chex mix. She said sweet and savory go together. She just didn't seem to comprehend the differences in the flavors especially when cooking them for a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old. If she wanted it in hers, then she could do that on her plate.

Then she started in on the BBQ, a Boston butt cooked in a slow cooker with a whole pile of BBQ sauce and what I can guess was water. My sister did it. I pulled the fat off, shredded it, and put it back in her sauce in the crock to soak while the rest got done. My mother then asks why I didn't skim the fat off before doing that like she does when she cooks a chicken. The sauce already had so much fat in it from the BBQ sauce my sis put in that the fat didn't just float like it does in water and chicken broth. The sauce didn't separate like chicken fat does. Then my sis calls today about the fatty sauce that she made. I told her to trim the fat off the butt first, but oh you need fat in pulled pork. She didn't want to hear that with a butt that fatty, you can cut the fat off and still have plenty left over.

Neither of them are cooks or bakers. My mother's idea of learning from a cooking show is to add PORT to gravy for fried cube steak. It was like eating grape jelly. Instead of trying a bit in a different bowl, she just dumped a cup of port into it like "they" do with wine. Port is wine right.....Neither of them understand that something just don't substitute like others and it takes knowing flavors to know what will and won't work and even then, just test it in a small, separate bowl.

My ma's cooking has never been great, nor her baking. I started baking my dad's birthday carrot cake when I was 10. Ma is ADD and would forget to add something or add too much and so on. In the past few years she has bronzed a stainless steel tea kettle on the stove top by it boiling dry and her in the shower forgetting it was there. It is a miracle that the house didn't burn down. She then put pot holders on the electric burner not paying attention to it being hot. My sister got her cooking skills from ma and did a bit better, though she lacks the patience to do it or over thinks it.

How do you deal with cooks like this in your family? I know my way isn't the right way, but somethings are just wrong, plain and simply wrong. Not everything that I cook is awesome, but when I experiment it isn't the whole night's meal!

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

lolakimono — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:25:28 GMT

Do you all live together?

If not, I would order Chinese food for the next get together- lots of salty and sweet!

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Tigriss — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:28:25 GMT

No, it was a case of too many cooks in the kitchen.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

this is my nic — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:29:39 GMT

Oh, my! Have them to your house for meals. Evidently, there's no hope in either one of them preparing an edible dish.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

adoreqvc — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:33:27 GMT

This is my humble opinion but if you love them then you have to be sure that they are not allowed to use the stove anymore.

If a person has ADD that is a definite medical problematic issue, and they should not be using any type of stove to cook or bake with.

The house could burn down with everyone in it.

If they cannot remember things they should not be using a stove at all, and someone else should be doing all the cooking.

Another choice is for another family member to buy a portable convection cook top and let them plug it in and use that under supervision of course. If they remove the pot from it the item will auto shut off. The pots just have to hold a magnet to the bottom when tested to ensure the bottom of the pot is magnetic in order for the pot to work on induction cook tops.

You have temperatures to set your degrees to as well as #'s. .....and they all come with a user guide and recipes......so there are choices.

It is much safer to use than a stove especially for elderly and those who have problems.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Tigriss — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:37:09 GMT

Not everything is so bad. Ma can do a roast in the oven with veggies but when she gets a wild hair to just toss something in, she really gets a wild hair.

My sister is more of the semi-homemade kind of cook. When we have family dinners like Easter, she will do a salad. She uses canned chicken for soups and tacos and things. My nephew had a stomach virus last week and she let him eat cheetoes and something else instead of a base diet for stomach viruses BRATS, bananas, rice, apple sauce, and tea, instead of whatever. She gave my niece a doughnut when she had a stomach virus. Common sense goes out of her head in times like that. The same night of my nephew's stomach virus, my mother decieds to cook chicken soup for him from scratch with bone in chicken thighs and all since it will be better for him. By the time it was cooked, he was in the bed asleep. When she went to pick the stuff up, I asked her why not use peas and carrots mix, chicken bullion, chicken breast, and G-Free noodles (he has a wheat allergy) so he could eat it for supper. Nope, he needs the old fashioned kind.

Growing up we often had supper at 9 or 10 at night!!! I and my sister both eat supper by 6 at the latest if at all possible. That we do agree upon that!

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Kachina624 — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:37:48 GMT

Too many cooks spoil the stew...or something like that. Can you shoo them out of the kitchen? If not you'll have to grin and bear it.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

wildcat fan — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:39:56 GMT

At family gatherings, I set the table, clear the table, and wash/put away dishes. While Mom and Sis are in the kitchen, I entertain the grand kids. Two cooks in that kitchen are plenty without adding me to the mix. Their style is not as healthy as we're used to, but I figure it's OK since we don't do it every day.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

wildcat fan — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:40:30 GMT

On 2/22/2015 lolakimono said:
Do you all live together?

If not, I would order Chinese food for the next get together- lots of salty and sweet!

Love this suggestion!

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Tigriss — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:43:04 GMT

On 2/22/2015 adoreqvc said:
This is my humble opinion but if you love them then you have to be sure that they are not allowed to use the stove anymore.

If a person has ADD that is a definite medical problematic issue, and they should not be using any type of stove to cook or bake with.

The house could burn down with everyone in it.

If they cannot remember things they should not be using a stove at all, and someone else should be doing all the cooking.

Another choice is for another family member to buy a portable convection cook top and let them plug it in and use that under supervision of course. If they remove the pot from it the item will auto shut off. The pots just have to hold a magnet to the bottom when tested to ensure the bottom of the pot is magnetic in order for the pot to work on induction cook tops.

You have temperatures to set your degrees to as well as #'s. .....and they all come with a user guide and recipes......so there are choices.

It is much safer to use than a stove especially for elderly and those who have problems.

Ma does take meds, but still just doesn't think sometimes. She is 60 in May, so she can do as she pleases in her own house. She just doesn't get those lines when at my sister's or my house. My sister and I both agree to supervise them when our folks have the kids. Yesterday, she was going out with the kids, and then decided to make her coffee that she started in the Keurig, which the first one went everywhere because she didn't pay attention and it didn't have the cup taht the K-Cup rests in so the water went everywhere and she didn't seem to know why. I cleaned that up and fixed it, but as she was heading out the door she went to get the coffee with the kids already out. It wasn't just a grab the cup and go, it was a 5 minute ordeal of putting stuff in the coffee cup. She is absent minded like pumping gas, going into pay, being in line, and talking, then forgetting to pay, or buying milk and leaving it behind....getting out and into the car takes forever because she is doing little fiddle things....The more I write the more I feel she needs supervision, but her younger sister is the same way as is their mother. I can't go shopping with any of them. I have a list, I get the list, and I go home. She will have a list, but go up and down every isle and still not get what is on her list. My sister and I just downloaded a GPS tracker app so we can find her when she doesn't respond. Yesterday she left her phone at home and dead. There isn't an app for that.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Plaid Pants — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 01:45:42 GMT

On 2/22/2015 tigriss said:
On 2/22/2015 adoreqvc said:
This is my humble opinion but if you love them then you have to be sure that they are not allowed to use the stove anymore.<br />

If a person has ADD that is a definite medical problematic issue, and they should not be using any type of stove to cook or bake with.<br />

The house could burn down with everyone in it.

If they cannot remember things they should not be using a stove at all, and someone else should be doing all the cooking.

Another choice is for another family member to buy a portable convection cook top and let them plug it in and use that under supervision of course. If they remove the pot from it the item will auto shut off. The pots just have to hold a magnet to the bottom when tested to ensure the bottom of the pot is magnetic in order for the pot to work on induction cook tops.<br />

You have temperatures to set your degrees to as well as #'s. .....and they all come with a user guide and recipes......so there are choices.

It is much safer to use than a stove especially for elderly and those who have problems.

Ma does take meds, but still just doesn't think sometimes. She is 60 in May, so she can do as she pleases in her own house. She just doesn't get those lines when at my sister's or my house. My sister and I both agree to supervise them when our folks have the kids. Yesterday, she was going out with the kids, and then decided to make her coffee that she started in the Keurig, which the first one went everywhere because she didn't pay attention and it didn't have the cup taht the K-Cup rests in so the water went everywhere and she didn't seem to know why. I cleaned that up and fixed it, but as she was heading out the door she went to get the coffee with the kids already out. It wasn't just a grab the cup and go, it was a 5 minute ordeal of putting stuff in the coffee cup. She is absent minded like pumping gas, going into pay, being in line, and talking, then forgetting to pay, or buying milk and leaving it behind....getting out and into the car takes forever because she is doing little fiddle things....The more I write the more I feel she needs supervision, but her younger sister is the same way as is their mother. I can't go shopping with any of them. I have a list, I get the list, and I go home. She will have a list, but go up and down every isle and still not get what is on her list. My sister and I just downloaded a GPS tracker app so we can find her when she doesn't respond. Yesterday she left her phone at home and dead. There isn't an app for that.

Are you sure that your mom doesn't have Alzheimer's or dementia?

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Tigriss — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 02:23:11 GMT

This behavior is normal for her ever since she was a kid, so nope. She is a RN, and so are many others in the family, so we are also aware of the symptoms and are not a family that is blind to medical concerns and don't deny someone has a condition to pretend it doesn't exist. My great aunt, her mother's brother's wife, has Alzheimers, so we are aware of the symptoms and the like. Nope, she is just the absent minded type. It is funny, she can sit and read for hours all the while tuning out everything around her, but get her doing something else and she is all over the map. We have to shout or take her book for her to tune into the real world. I see the traits in my sister and nephew, but fortunately I took after my father. If my sister needs something done around the house, I generally do it. Install a new faucet, sink, ceiling fans, fixing the fridge and washer, thing like that. I worked under my father on the farm as much as in the kitchen and sewing room with my ma and grandmother. We installed the GPS app on her phone because she went missing for 3 hours. Her mother last talked with her when ma was heading into WalMart. She was in there for 3 hours without hearing her phone or messages. We finally got a hold of her when we retraced her steps. She didn't know what the big deal was. She knew we expected her for supper and knew how long it should have been, but she didn't seem to care how long she was gone. I'm not that late....was her response. She ran into a coworker and they toured WalMart together. She gets to talking and all is lost. She will talk to anyone about anything at anytime. If she was younger, we would be preaching stranger danger to her. We are also in a small town, so we can get a hold of someone that will have seen her or know where she is. Small towns are like that in knowing your business. It works well for us.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

nunya — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 02:33:50 GMT

Sounds like a control issue with all. I'll be the first to admit it drives me batty to see people make things differently than I would.

In your situation, it's 3 people trying to have input . Maybe assign each person one dish they can make anyway they want. lol good luck.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Tigriss — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 02:36:31 GMT

Good idea nunya...We will try that. Do your part and stay out of the others?

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

BichonEmma — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 02:39:24 GMT

The boiling the kettle dry and burning stuff on the stove sounds like my mother (and the questionable cooking). She has been like that my whole life so I feel your pain tigriss. A few weeks ago my mother melted a pastic bag on her glass stove top

I got my mother an electric kettle because I was afraid she was going to burn the house down after she left for the day with the stove on kettle run dry by the time I got there. The electric kettle turns itself off when its dry.....well worth the $25

She would also frequntly forget about rice and other grains (since she's wheat free she eats a lot of rice) so she got a rice cooker a couple years ago. Again something that turns it self off

Oh and I do not eat her cooking, ever. I will bring her food but not go over there to eat

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

AuntG — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 02:42:34 GMT

I'd deal with it by never eating anything they made. Hope they don't decide to write a cookbook.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

nomless — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 02:50:03 GMT

Enjoy the time with family, don't get stressed about the food.

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Tigriss — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 03:26:56 GMT

On 2/22/2015 bichon_emma said:
The boiling the kettle dry and burning stuff on the stove sounds like my mother (and the questionable cooking). She has been like that my whole life so I feel your pain tigriss. A few weeks ago my mother melted a pastic bag on her glass stove top

I got my mother an electric kettle because I was afraid she was going to burn the house down after she left for the day with the stove on kettle run dry by the time I got there. The electric kettle turns itself off when its dry.....well worth the $25

She would also frequntly forget about rice and other grains (since she's wheat free she eats a lot of rice) so she got a rice cooker a couple years ago. Again something that turns it self off

Oh and I do not eat her cooking, ever. I will bring her food but not go over there to eat

We could very well have the same mother. I have bought her an electric kettle!! It was the best money you could spend for those that are absent minded and just for anyone that boils water. I use mine for everything from my Areopress coffee to hot chocolate to water for iced tea....I love it. I also have a few rice cookers and electric pressure cookers and my Ninja. Ma's stove is down to one burner only. She is redoing her kitchen after all these years with the goldenrod colored appliances and floors. I unloaded 5000lbs of bamboo hardwood for her flooring. Then there are the kitchen cabinets and appliances. She wanted an induction range with two ovens...that was super hard to find under her specs (which means she made it up in her head from seeing others and putting the things she likes into one that doesn't exist). They had to replace their hot water heater, so they got an on demand one for my mother's super long showers, and now she has a gas range and double wall oven. I am scared of that. Pot holders burn quicker on a gas range! We could get our mother's to move in together and look out for each other!

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

Allegheny — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 03:36:46 GMT

When you were writing about your mom, this is what came to mind.

march to the beat of a different drum (To do things in one's own way regardless of societal norms and conventional expectations)

Re: How to deal with family members whose taste buds don't work?

chrystaltree — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 03:38:53 GMT

I'd give anything if my mother was alive to cook a bad meal. That's the risk you take when put a bunch of women in one kitchen without a plan. Mayhem. So, grin and bear it. In our family, the person who is hosting the family dinner cooks it. There's no group cooking. If the others are contributing to the dinner, they bring a prepared dish. .