topic Re: Co-Volunteer in Kitchen

Co-Volunteer

HonnyBrown — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 13:27:50 GMT

One of the volunteers at the farmers market can talk forever about nothing. She's one of those types. I find working with her very tedious, but I appreciate that she is a fellow volunteer.

Back in February, the Vendor Committee had a meeting. The actual content of the meeting took 20-30 minutes. We were there for over 3 hours because of her anecdotal stories.

For some reason, she thinks I have an interest in cider. The entire time that we are working, she will talk about cider. I had no idea there was enough information about cider to fill two hours, and I could care less.

I have told her that I have no interest in cider; I have changed the subject, to no avail; I even yawn when she talks.

I find myself volunteering less because I have to work with her.

How do you handle people like this?

Re: Co-Volunteer

debic — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 13:54:58 GMT

I don't have a clue sorry. Move to a different station? I know a guy who always puts earbuds in and the cord into his pocket. He flies a lot and doesn't like getting caught in these kind of pockets. People think he's listening to music and he ignores them. LOL, probably wouldn't work at a farmers market, but maybe.

Re: Co-Volunteer

Poodlepet2 — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 13:59:42 GMT

You have to "re-direct" them constantly, and state your point, and don't give them time. For example, at that meeting, somebody could have said something to the tune of " We all have busy lives and I enjoy being here, but we have work to do. Ok, here is how we are dealing with problem A, let's move on to problem B".....and this is going to sound rude to you, but if she is constantly going off on tangents, be honest with Poodlepether....It sounds as if she is engaging in attention getting behavior: she thinks she is witty and wants to be heard, but you can always make your observations clear, and hopefully she will get the message. ....and you can always walk in the opposite direction when you see her coming.

Re: Co-Volunteer

jackthebear — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 14:00:05 GMT

Be tough

tell you have to get busy with what ever you are doing and will talk to her later.

Who is running the meeting?

Can you speak up and say ""lets get back on topic so we can get out of here on time""

Re: Co-Volunteer

BOYINTX — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 14:03:22 GMT

I am not mean but those situations I run from. Tell her how you feel. I am sure she would tell you how she feels.

No if i start yawning were in trouble

Re: Co-Volunteer

millieshops — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 14:12:05 GMT

You can't change her, so you have to change yourself. Walk away. Tell her Lisa Robertson stories. Whatever works to make you the happy one for a change.

Is there a reason you have to volunteer where the cider lady is - same place, same time? If not, the answer is easy - volunteer at a different time or at a different activity.

As for that long meeting - I'd be sure to drive myself and leave after a half hour! Further, I'd say something to the person in charge because if it's as bad as you say, they're in danger of losing volunteers if this keeps happening.

Re: Co-Volunteer

HonnyBrown — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 15:16:27 GMT

Jack, the meeting was in February. I put that in to show how much she talks.

We man the information booth for two hours. For me, that's set. She usually stays on after the previous "shift" so she can talk to me about cider. Because she isn't scheduled to work, I don't know until she sits down that she will be working.

I don't half mind her talking about anything other than cider. It makes the time go by faster.

Re: Co-Volunteer

HonnyBrown — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 14:45:33 GMT

She sent me an email offering me a book on cider. I responded telling her that while I appreciate the offer, the book should go to someone who has an interest in cider.

She said she will bring the book to the farmers market!

Re: Co-Volunteer

expatgal — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 15:55:56 GMT

You just reminded me of why I hate volunteer work. I know, that sounds horrible. But in reality (at least for me) it sounds great on paper but isn't for me. Either there are 1 or 2 people who want to be "chiefs" and do little to no grunt work, or you have people like you are describing here. I find it more depressing than rewarding. She's a leech, plain and simple. You've told her clearly you have zero interest in cider and she still hounds you about it? I would stop being so "nice" ... but that's just me.

Re: Co-Volunteer

Sooner — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 16:03:08 GMT

On 10/16/2014 expatgal said:
You just reminded me of why I hate volunteer work. I know, that sounds horrible. But in reality (at least for me) it sounds great on paper but isn't for me. Either there are 1 or 2 people who want to be "chiefs" and do little to no grunt work, or you have people like you are describing here. I find it more depressing than rewarding. She's a leech, plain and simple. You've told her clearly you have zero interest in cider and she still hounds you about it? I would stop being so "nice" ... but that's just me.

Yes, I had to learn the hard way about leeches! Also, I agree 100 percent about volunteer work. So often a few people are sidetracked, arguing, petting one another, goofing off, being beautiful, or whatever while the worker bees do all the work. And usually the others get to decide how the worker bees are going to do their work.

Bad attitude????

Re: Co-Volunteer

Poodlepet2 — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 16:05:52 GMT

May I ask a silly question-and please enlighten me....but is cider like wine? I suppose you can make cider out of different kinds of apple's, and maybe there are nuances-just like wine, but what is the deal with this woman talking about cider????? Poodlepet

Re: Co-Volunteer

Hoovermom — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 16:33:36 GMT

Can you take a little break from this volunteer position? From your posts it is obvious that she is not hearing you (email about book). Who heads up the volunteers? Ask to be moved away from her. Volunteering is suppose to be "fun", not a dreaded time.

Re: Co-Volunteer

HonnyBrown — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 17:35:48 GMT

Poodlepet, cider is like wine only as far as the fact that it has an alcohol content. I know wine; that's why I'm the Wine Coordinator. I have no clue about cider, and I don't know why she attaches me to it.

Expat and sooner, you both are right, in that volunteering can drain the fun out of you. But this is normally an easy and fun job. Most of us get along well and the people we are helping (customers) appreciate it, as well as the Market Master.

Hoovermom, volunteers at the market have different duties: the come in to set up the stations (that's what she does), then the information booth for the first two hours (me), the information booth for the last two hours, then breakdown.

The market relies on volunteers to function. I sign up for the first shift. Cider Lady will drop by, as a lot of volunteers do, and start working. How do you ask the Market Master to turn away much needed help?

Re: Co-Volunteer

chrystaltree — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 17:38:21 GMT

I usually just walk away...... The meeting might have lasted three hours but I doubt that you were required to sit there for three hours.

Re: Co-Volunteer

Sabatini2 — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 17:39:44 GMT

HonnyBrown, since your interest is in wine, the Cider Lady is probably trying to connect her passion to yours, and perhaps trying to impress you a little along the way?

Re: Co-Volunteer

Foggy morning — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 18:17:03 GMT

You could tell her you've apparently developed an allergy to apples and you don't even like to talk that much about them. Good luck!

Re: Co-Volunteer

ChynnaBlue — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 18:24:59 GMT

Honny, is there a reason you have to work with her? Can you ask the person in charge of scheduling volunteers not to station the two of you in the same area or ask for alternating shifts? It's important to let the people in charge know she's an issue because she may be chasing other good volunteers away, too. Maybe they can redirect her efforts.

In the meantime, you could try:

* Getting bold and telling her you're not interested in cider and she should find someone else who is.

*Explaining that you don't want to hear about cider because you're not interested in it, but open the conversation up by asking her about other things she's interested in that you might have in common and talking about those things.

*Telling her you have an allergy or had a bad cider experiencing. Tell her about that time (that made up time) that you drank some at a party and then vomited and dry-heaved for days. Go into detail - chunky, gooey detail.

Re: Co-Volunteer

Lucky Charm — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 19:06:39 GMT

I think she suffers from a social disorder. I know people who can only start conversations of one subject. If they are involved in other conversations, they will bring up the subject into any conversation. It's awkward, but I just go along with it.

I would not let her or anyone sidetrack a meeting for three hours or one hour going off subject. I would have politely excused myself once business was done being discussed.

Re: Co-Volunteer

ChynnaBlue — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 19:26:21 GMT

On 10/16/2014 Lucky Charm said:
I think she suffers from a social disorder. I know people who can only start conversations of one subject. If they are involved in other conversations, they will bring up the subject into any conversation. It's awkward, but I just go along with it.

I would not let her or anyone sidetrack a meeting for three hours or one hour going off subject. I would have politely excused myself once business was done being discussed.

I agree.

Sounds like the person in charge of that meeting could use a copy of Roberts Rules of Order and some lessons in time management agenda creation. A written agenda helps people stick to topics and move along.

I facilitate a lot of meetings and there are people who need to be redirected often, and it's the facilitators job to do that. If it's a group that meets regularly, the facilitator usually knows who those people are and can head it off early or even talk to those people in advance of the meeting, explaining that they're glad the person showed up and enlisting the talker's help in keeping to the schedule.

Another way to address this is to have a group social after meetings. If the team can get through the agenda on time, everyone can meet for drinks and off-topic chat at a favorite local place nearby. That's what one of my monthly workshop groups does and we always end on time.

If a meeting has no scheduled end time or goes way past the scheduled end time, it disrespects everyone's time and that's not acceptable.

Re: Co-Volunteer

HonnyBrown — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 20:53:54 GMT

I'm going to be straightforward (again) and tell her that I have no interest in cider. If that doesn't work, I will be rude.

As for the meeting, it was held at her house. There were four of us total, and had she not interrupted every time someone said a word, we could have had a productive meeting that concluded after 30 minutes, max. Because of her stories, it lasted over 3 hours and it was torture. It happened so gradually, that we didn't realize what was occurring until it was too late.

I know for next time.

Chynna, while I'm scheduled to work a certain time, she shows up when a volunteer is needed.