topic Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT in Kitchen

I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

ScrapHappy — Mon, 17 Feb 2014 23:18:20 GMT

I just don't know what to make for dinner anymore. And since I don't know what to make for dinner, I don't know what to buy when I grocery shop. Add to that, a family of three with all different likes and dislikes and schedules. My daughter, 8, does not care much for red meat and with school, eats dinner between 5:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. A little background on her, she was very premature ( 1 pound) and eating has been a big issue with her from day one. Even some things that kids love: chicken nuggets, chicken pot pie, hot dogs...for the most part doesn't like it. My husband prefers red meat. Works late and gets home between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. So I'm usually still in the kitchen at times washing dishes @ 9 p.m. Me....I'd like to eat more healthy, prefer chicken over meat and actually prefer meatless meals. Giving the cost of food, I cringe at buying groceries for three different meals every day. I hate frequent trips to the grocery store when I'm doing day by day planning because I don't know what to make. I'm constantly on line looking at recipes. This has been going on a long time and I'm pulling my hair out. Any help, advice, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

goodstuff — Mon, 17 Feb 2014 23:29:30 GMT

It's probably time for you to stop feeling obligated to cater daily to the desires of every family member. I'd suggest you rotate the types of meals you prepare: some days red meat, some days fish or chicken, and either a meatless day for you or plenty of veggies and starches that you can enjoy while leaving off the meat the rest of the family is eating. It's good for your family members to defer to each others' favorites from time to time and to eat and learn to enjoy a wide variety of foods. I'd make a brief, matter-of-fact statement about this to your family.......and then DO it. Fix one dinner and keep a portion warm or ready to heat up in the microwave for family members coming in late. Clean up your kitchen and load the dishwasher ahead of time, and then you can just add the last eater's dishes to the load. No more cooking a special meal late and cleaning up at 9:00 p.m.

I winced when I read about your "premature" daughter who has "food issues". Oh, dear. I had a picky eater too, and I totally wish I had handled things differently when she was young. I used to worry, coax, bargain, try to coerce her to eat. It all became a huge power struggle, and she ate poorly and had food hangups for years. I'd suggest you stop obsessing about her food and eating. Fix a variety of nutritious meals and have healthy snacks available, and let her eat what she wants and leave what she doesn't want. Don't fix special meals for her and don't worry about her. She is no longer "premature", and I'm betting she won't starve to death. Things will probably get much better if you stop making her food issues yours.

My problem eater, BTW, is now in her 30's and eats anything that isn't tied down. Once it wasn't a big drama with Mommy, her food issues were totally gone. Spinach, beans, beef, fish, beets, salads -- she eats it all. Hope others can learn from my mistakes.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

peachesncream — Mon, 17 Feb 2014 23:43:26 GMT

I agree with goodstuff: rotate rather than cater.

That's what we did when our kids were growing up. The problem with serving children only their favorites (all of the time) is that they never try anything new. Tastes can change over time.

I can remember when my son was little, I never though he would learn to like a vegetable, other than corn or potatoes. Now, he is grown and married, eats a variety of foods and is the main cook in his home. He even loves salads!

We never forced food on them. I put out a healthy meal and let them choose, from what was on the table. No side meals.

If you want to eat lighter, I recommend the Cooking Light website. They have a message board, too, and tons of free recipes on the website myrecipes.com. You can find family meals that are lighter on the fat and calories. We use many of their recipes.

Could you give your DD a healthy snack (fruit, cheese and crackers or peanut butter) and serve dinner at 7? I'm a big believer in family meals, if possible.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

Mindy D — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 00:11:31 GMT

What does she like?

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

luvdoodles — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 00:43:39 GMT

Oh I remember those days so well when our daughters were young. Very picky eaters and my husband worked two jobs and didn't get home until around 11:00pm. Sometimes they wanted tuna sandwiches for breakfast, so that's what I made. Neither one was crazy about eggs. Veggies were out of the question. Raw carrots with ranch dressing were the only veggies they ate. Then I had to make something that my husband could reheat in the microwave when he got home. I am glad those have gone by. One is now married and the other lives with her boyfriend and they will eat anything now.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

dex — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 01:20:05 GMT

I like to make fajitas when I have picky eaters.cook meat and veg separately .put out toppings and let them build their own.easy to reheat for your husband too.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

lovesrecess — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 01:26:27 GMT

the rule at our house is the kids and grandkids HAD to take at least one bite of a new food or one they ""hated"".....every time it was served....eventually they decided they liked it in most cases...but one granddaughter still thinks anything green is evil....except for pickles!

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

lovesrecess — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 01:27:59 GMT

On 2/17/2014 GoodStuff said:
It's probably time for you to stop feeling obligated to cater daily to the desires of every family member. I'd suggest you rotate the types of meals you prepare: some days red meat, some days fish or chicken, and either a meatless day for you or plenty of veggies and starches that you can enjoy while leaving off the meat the rest of the family is eating. It's good for your family members to defer to each others' favorites from time to time and to eat and learn to enjoy a wide variety of foods. I'd make a brief, matter-of-fact statement about this to your family.......and then DO it. Fix one dinner and keep a portion warm or ready to heat up in the microwave for family members coming in late. Clean up your kitchen and load the dishwasher ahead of time, and then you can just add the last eater's dishes to the load. No more cooking a special meal late and cleaning up at 9:00 p.m.

I winced when I read about your "premature" daughter who has "food issues". Oh, dear. I had a picky eater too, and I totally wish I had handled things differently when she was young. I used to worry, coax, bargain, try to coerce her to eat. It all became a huge power struggle, and she ate poorly and had food hangups for years. I'd suggest you stop obsessing about her food and eating. Fix a variety of nutritious meals and have healthy snacks available, and let her eat what she wants and leave what she doesn't want. Don't fix special meals for her and don't worry about her. She is no longer "premature", and I'm betting she won't starve to death. Things will probably get much better if you stop making her food issues yours.

My problem eater, BTW, is now in her 30's and eats anything that isn't tied down. Once it wasn't a big drama with Mommy, her food issues were totally gone. Spinach, beans, beef, fish, beets, salads -- she eats it all. Hope others can learn from my mistakes.

great advice, goodstuff! I think the 9pm kitchen duty needs to end in a hurry.......the daughter will never eat anything other than what she wants if that is all that is given to her.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

kitty60 — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 15:02:41 GMT

So glad I don't have to do that anymore. I would try to "layer" meals. I would plan one meal that I would start out and feed to my son and then add other ingredients for us later. Son would eat browned burger with rice and a veggie, I could than add sauces, seasonings, etc for a much more flavorful meal for husband. Same with chicken, it got easier the longer I did it. Now dh and I will make a meal out of just about everything. Every meal is not our last nor will we go without tomorrow.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

151949 — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 15:34:26 GMT

Sinc i have been trying to cut my fats in an attempt to lose weight and avoid diabetis my DH and I are at an impasse about meals. I told him my compromise plan is : 2 days a week red meat - 2 days a week white meat (chicken , turkey etc) 2 days a week fish and 1 meatless meal. he says ok but when he is served the meals that are not red meat he gripes all evening long. So much for support from him in my attempts to lose! So now , in an attempt to stop the whining I have started to make him a hamburger on the grill in addition to whatever else I make, which is certainly not cost effective and is a pain in the neck too but it does shut him up.So , last night for instance I made a chicken and rice cassarole and he ate that PLUS his hamburger.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

Poodlepet2 — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 16:07:23 GMT

Happy, I think you've been given some great advice. I'm not diabetic, but I'm watching my A1C and I basically follow a diabetic diet. There are some excellent magazines and on-line resources for us that are chock full of great recipes that the entire family can eat.

As far as your daughter goes, I was in the same situation with my 19 year old daughter. She was off the charts on the low-end and I was given the worst advice by our pediatrician-but I was frightened too because she was globally developmentally delayed and was classified moderate to severely autistic. Our pediatrician's advice was to give her what she wanted and over time, she would eat normally.....that did not happen...."Sara" would not eat if she did not like it-which of course caused us-her parents- to panic. We tried to keep the drama down and not cajole or make a scene-but it's not easy.

Make life easier on yourself. Listen to your inner chef: prepare what you believe to be healthy and if she doesn't like it, oh well. That's hard for you to swallow-it was hard for me, but the result is, to this day, my daughter is an incredibly picky eater and has horrible dietary habits. I kept junk food out of the house, but when she was old enough to start cooking, she would create food heavy on refined carbs, sugar and fat....

Oh, in addition to the diabetic magazines and cookbooks out there, there is a fabulous magazine called "Clean Eating"....no artificial anything there, but great whole food that is truly not fussy to prepare at all-and delicious. Best of luck to you.

Poodlepet

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

fthunt — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 18:23:44 GMT

Spanish Rice Casserole - ground beef w/onions/grn peppers - can tomatoes - rice (of course)

Boiled Dinner - either chunk of ham or corned beef w/boiled onions - carrots - cabbage - potatoes

Italian Casseroles - lots of food websites with great recipes (stock up on bottled sauce - pasta)

Grandma Brown's bakes beans (can) - to go with hamburgers - toss salad or whatever

Baked Chicken w/BBQ sauce or Italian sauce - w/salad or rice or pasta

Tuna Noodle Casserole - w/veggie on the side

Split chicken baked - anything can go with that

There are thousands of options - go through a few recipes and jot down what you'll need at the grocery store to make those tempting dishes!

Enjoy your adventure!

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

BLH — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 18:27:02 GMT

Woman's Day magazine has a whole month of menus. I use it all of the time. Also our local senior citizen center serves meals and they list the menu in the newspaper. I get good ideas from that. They are always healthy meals.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

Sameaslast — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 18:43:12 GMT

Just cook what you want to cook...catering to a child is a very bad idea unless there is a serious physical issue which you didn't mention...catering to a husband is also a bad idea...you are not a hired cook, and my family would quickly get the message if I were treated like one, believe me! The red meat eater is old enough to know there are other kinds of food out there that won't kill him...and the little one is young enough to learn...the last thing I would do is spend my time shopping for and cooking 3 separate meals...I have more respect for myself than that...and my family would know better than to expect it!

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

Lipstickdiva — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 18:51:30 GMT

I don't have any children but I do have a picky eating DH. His normal work hours get him out of work at 3:00 however, he often has to work overtime and is on-call for his job one week a month which means he may be home and have to leave again, he may get home at his normal time and stay home or in the case of last night, he got home at 8:45.

I completely sympathize with you being in the kitchen still cleaning things up at 9:00 at night because I'm often the same. My DH works very, very hard at his job, outside in extreme weather conditions and there is no way I'm going to cook a meal when I get home from work at 5:15 and then expect him to eat it heated in the microwave. Blech

Maybe it's because neither of us really eat leftovers and I rarely heat anything in the microwave that I feel this way.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

Allegheny — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 18:53:59 GMT

i've been curious about something, perhaps someone could enlighten me. In my husband's family there are six great nieces/nephews who we see frequently. These children range in age from 4 to 11. I am appalled at what they eat. At family dinners something different always has to be prepared for the kids, i.e.., mac & cheese, hot dogs, pizza, noodles, french fries. The sweets run rampant.

The parents and grandparents are all healthy, balanced eaters, yet they cater to the children just to get them to eat. At what age should parents get a handle on this? I never had children so I don't know how I would react.

Growing up my mother never made us special meals. If there was something we didn't like, we avoided it and ate the other items served.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

151949 — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 19:33:00 GMT

On 2/18/2014 Allegheny said:
i've been curious about something, perhaps someone could enlighten me. In my husband's family there are six great nieces/nephews who we see frequently. These children range in age from 4 to 11. I am appalled at what they eat. At family dinners something different always has to be prepared for the kids, i.e.., mac & cheese, hot dogs, pizza, noodles, french fries. The sweets run rampant.

The parents and grandparents are all healthy, balanced eaters, yet they cater to the children just to get them to eat. At what age should parents get a handle on this? I never had children so I don't know how I would react.

Growing up my mother never made us special meals. If there was something we didn't like, we avoided it and ate the other items served.

According to my niece the pediatricans now a days tell the parents to make the children whatever they want to eat - and not to make an issue out of eating vs not eating because as they get into their periods of growth spurts they will be hungry and they will eat. her oldest was horrible about not eating - he would not even eat the special foods she made for him that he liked - til he was 8 then , all of a sudden , he started eating everything she gave him. IMO - they just do this as a attempt to manipulate you anyway.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

Allegheny — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 19:43:17 GMT

On 2/18/2014 happy housewife said:
On 2/18/2014 Allegheny said:
i've been curious about something, perhaps someone could enlighten me. In my husband's family there are six great nieces/nephews who we see frequently. These children range in age from 4 to 11. I am appalled at what they eat. At family dinners something different always has to be prepared for the kids, i.e.., mac & cheese, hot dogs, pizza, noodles, french fries. The sweets run rampant.

The parents and grandparents are all healthy, balanced eaters, yet they cater to the children just to get them to eat. At what age should parents get a handle on this? I never had children so I don't know how I would react.

Growing up my mother never made us special meals. If there was something we didn't like, we avoided it and ate the other items served.

According to my niece the pediatricans now a days tell the parents to make the children whatever they want to eat - and not to make an issue out of eating vs not eating because as they get into their periods of growth spurts they will be hungry and they will eat. her oldest was horrible about not eating - he would not even eat the special foods she made for him that he liked - til he was 8 then , all of a sudden , he started eating everything she gave him. IMO - they just do this as a attempt to manipulate you anyway.

Thanks happy housewife, I never had the nerve to ask the parents. I didn't want to appear critical.

BTW, bet you're glad you're not in Pittsburgh today! Everyone up here is pretty much out of salt and streets and highways are a disaster. Temps are warming up though and conditions are improving.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

ChynnaBlue — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 20:12:12 GMT

Sometimes my mom made what I wanted to eat, sometimes she made what my sister wanted to eat, sometimes she made my dad's favorite - but we all at the same thing, whatever it was she made that night, picky or not. Some nights you got your favorite, some nights you ate someone else's favorite - as long as I got a turn, I didn't really care. Kids who are catered to grow up to be adults with limited food experiences and get stuck. My parents traveled the world and I grew up eating international dishes, which I still do today. I've never been a meat and potatoes person because I didn't grow up that way. Limiting kids when they're young is setting them up to be limited for life. I am always surprised at how many of my adult friends refuse to go to a place that doesn't serve hamburgers or won't try Thai, Indian, Cuban, Greek, Brazilian, etc food because they're not used to it and it's weird. I took one friend to a chain Italian place and he claimed that the only things he recognized on the menu were spaghetti and lasagna because those were the only Italian dishes (besides pizza, I guess) that he'd ever been exposed to. You do your kids no favors when you only serve what they like and don't expose them to new things.

If people eat at different times, you might want to consider a slow-cooker. There are healthy and light crock pot cook books, so crock pots don't mean unhealthy. You can start it and have it finish for your early eaters, then keep it warm for the later eaters. It also means fewer dishes to wash, which I love. You can look for one that has removable dish-washer safe interior to make clean up even easier. The last person eating can rinse it and put it in the dishwasher or put it back in the fridge if there's enough for tomorrow.

You should also check out Meatless Mondays. Meatless Monday gives meat-eaters an easy way to eliminate meat from their diet one day a week. It's good for you AND good for the planet. Google Meatless Monday and you'll find lots of information and recipes.

Re: I'M IN SUCH A DINNER RUT

Lotus — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 20:21:11 GMT

I'm always in a rut too.....I always seem to make some variation of chicken...maybe chili...salmon and once in awhile steak.

I never made different meals for my family.....they got what I made and if they were hungry they would eat. I grew up that way too.....and it actually expanded my tastes.

I was never a short order chef.