topic Re: FEAR OF CUTTING in Beauty

FEAR OF CUTTING

Shanus — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:01:40 GMT

I’ve been growing out my pixie w/ many short layers for about 6 months & have finally reached a curly bob...chin/jaw length. Yes, I can’t avoid a “trim” to get rid of any damaged wisps. What I consider, “Please take a dusting off the ends and do not create layers” & what my stylist considers a “trim” are 2 different things.

My appt. is this morning at 10. I’m figuring I’ll offer to pay for a full haircut, if that’s her issue, & remind her that her last “trim” set me back 3 months in the growth process. She’s been my stylist for many years. At first, I was going every 3 weeks to have my hair dyed dark to cover grey roots & since she’s a color specialist, when I decided to let my hair go its natural white/silver, she helped w/ that transition. She’s wonderful w/ color, toner, conditioning services, but the CUT scares me. Maybe it’s just me, but at 69, my hair’s not growing as fast as before. Every inch off is 2 steps backwards.

So, it’s time to assert myself. In spite of how I come across here, I will go far to avoid any confrontation. Will report back if I have a pixie cut again, crying enough tears to fill a bucket and ready to change stylists.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

PINKdogWOOD — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:15:24 GMT

@Shanus Oh my, I feel your pain - first, growing out the pixie as I am doing exactly the same thing!!! and yeah for about the last 4-6 months. The second is going to our stylists to talk about just how much we want/need taken off and praying s/he is listening.

I was just at my salon on Tuesday for color and for the 2nd or 3rd time now, did not get any cut off. I love my girl Audrey and she too is fab with color. We talk about ideas and then she has at it. I never worry about my color.

If I were you and you really feel you need a 'dusting off the ends' I'd really stress upon her that 'as you both know, I'm still growing it out. PLEASE just a dusting, please do not cut anything more than the VERY ends, please not even an inch!'

Hopefully your stylist will get it right this time. And if she again screws it up, NO TIP. Maybe she'll get the hint this time.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

Sweet_Serenity — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:15:16 GMT

@Shanus

I know that feeling! Watch closely! Stop her if the case. Good luck!

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

JeanLouiseFinch — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:15:46 GMT

@Shanus Maybe you were kidding, but saying something like "take a dusting off the ends" is vague so there could be a misunderstanding between you and your stylist. I don't think it's the price being charged as much as it is a communication issue. Make sure she understands you. Before she gets the shears in her hand, the best thing you can do is to specify how much you want taken off - 1/4", 1/2", or whatever, and tell her you're trying to grow out your layers. Actually point on your head where you want the length to fall and so forth. The other thing is to bring a picture with you, of what you're trying to acheive, either by today's cut or what you're trying to grow your hair into. Keep in mind, though, that those pictures of celebrities and such may not be suitable for your hair due to your own amount of hair, texture, cowlicks, etc.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

Shanus — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:16:27 GMT

@PINKdogWOOD wrote:
@Shanus Oh my, I feel your pain - first, growing out the pixie as I am doing exactly the same thing!!! and yeah for about the last 4-6 months. The second is going to our stylists to talk about just how much we want/need taken off and praying s/he is listening.

I was just at my salon on Tuesday for color and for the 2nd or 3rd time now, did not get any cut off. I love my girl Audrey and she too is fab with color. We talk about ideas and then she has at it. I never worry about my color.
If I were you and you really feel you need a 'dusting off the ends' I'd really stress upon her that 'as you both know, I'm still growing it out. PLEASE just a dusting, please do not cut anything more than the VERY ends, please not even an inch!'

Hopefully your stylist will get it right this time. And if she again screws it up, NO TIP. Maybe she'll get the hint this time.

@PINKdogWOOD 🤞

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

Shanus — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:21:51 GMT

@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:
@Shanus Maybe you were kidding, but saying something like "take a dusting off the ends" is vague so there could be a misunderstanding between you and your stylist. I don't think it's the price being charged as much as it is a communication issue. Make sure she understands you. Before she gets the shears in her hand, the best thing you can do is to specify how much you want taken off - 1/4", 1/2", or whatever, and tell her you're trying to grow out your layers. Actually point on your head where you want the length to fall and so forth. The other thing is to bring a picture with you, of what you're trying to acheive, either by today's cut or what you're trying to grow your hair into. Keep in mind, though, that those pictures of celebrities and such may not be suitable for your hair due to your own amount of hair, texture, cowlicks, etc.

@JeanLouiseFinch I completely understand your points. With curly hair, taking off 1/8” when wet = 1/2” when dry. I take pics of my own hair last time it was this length about 3 yrs. ago...that should be sufficient, no? Many photos of movie stars and models are either photo shopped or they have extensions for length/fullness.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

happycat — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:25:19 GMT

@Shanus, goodl luck. I would have her position the chair you are sitting in where you can see the mirror. The worst of my hair cut fatalities have been when I was turned away from the mirror.

It really shouldn't be this difficult to get a good hair cut/trim or whatever we want.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

Abrowneyegirl — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:26:34 GMT

Ugh! I have been through this and I have found that bringing a photo of the hair style that is your GOAL of growing out your hair helps.

Then you can say, "Can you shape my hair toward this goal"

If not you are going to end up in the wrong direction with every cut.

To put it another way it is like getting into a taxi and telling the driver to drive a "little bit" then getting upset that you are on the wrong side of town. It is MUCH more clear to say "I need to buy milk at the market take me toward the store."

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:42:25 GMT

I'm lucky, even though I go to the salon every 4 weeks, my stylist and I have a discussion before she gets started. Sometimes I only want my bangs trimmed, and that is all she does. Be firm, it's your hair !

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

dex — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 13:23:32 GMT

Just tell her that you want such a slight trim that nobody not even yourself would notice.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

San Antonio Gal — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 14:03:23 GMT

Good luck at your appointment @Shanus and please let us now how it goes!

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

CatsyCline — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 14:09:13 GMT

Do not cut it. Do you truly need a cut? How much damage can your hair possibly have? Understand what you are saying about a dusting, however if your stylist cuts 1/8th of an inch and your hair shrinks a 1/ 2 inch with each cut it will take years to grow out. Of course it will be 2 steps back each time.

sometimes a great colorist is not so great with the shears.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

Mary Bailey — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 14:15:48 GMT

I've been growing out my long layers for all one length.

DH just trims off the "worst" of the ends. He also colors my roots when I need to do my whole head every few months. I color my own roots every other week at temples and part.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

HSB1204 — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:29:39 GMT

@Shanus Good luck. Unfortunately I've been in the same situation many times. My hair doesn't grow very fast so it's extremely aggravating when you're trying to grown out your hair and you just want a tiny trim and they take off several inches. I've tried it all from telling them "just the bare minimum" to actually holding up my hair and showing them how much I was willing to let them cut off. It didn't work.

I've finally found a wonderful stylist who actually listens to me and she only cuts off what I want her to cut but I've had to deal with a lot of stylists who didn't listen before I found her.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

chrystaltree — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:42:34 GMT

I never understood grown women who stay with a hairstylist despite the fact that they don't like the stylists work. What is the story with that? I know women from their 80's to their teens and I don't a single woman who find herself in this situation. Just hoping to get the haircut she wants but sitting there mute while things go wrong...lol Sorry, that really is funny. Telling a hairstylist what you want BEFORE she does anything is NOT being comfrontational. It's being an adult and it's being considerate to the hairstylist because they cannot read our minds. If you tell her what you are looking for and what you don't want....it's a win-win for both of you.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

RetRN — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:45:34 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
I never understood grown women who stay with a hairstylist despite the fact that they don't like the stylists work. What is the story with that? I know women from their 80's to their teens and I don't a single woman who find herself in this situation. Just hoping to get the haircut she wants but sitting there mute while things go wrong...lol Sorry, that really is funny. Telling a hairstylist what you want BEFORE she does anything is NOT being comfrontational. It's being an adult and it's being considerate to the hairstylist because they cannot read our minds. If you tell her what you are looking for and what you don't want....it's a win-win for both of you.

A little empathy can go along way when someone else is struggling with an issue. But, glad you have all the answers and solutions in your life.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

NycVixen — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:50:48 GMT

I had a pixie for several years. I absolutely love it and may go back one day.

What I did was not cut my hair until it was shoulder length. My hair grows extremely fast so following my advice means you will most likely have a long awkward phase. I didn't have any wispy ends during that time since with short hair it gets cut regularly so it was very healthy. I have wavy hair and this is the only way I could grow it out without dealing with bad haircuts.

I would wear headbands etc. until it was long enough. Good luck.

I suggest you go to a new stylist that will be eager to please until your hair grows longer or get a new one altogether.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

GingerPeach — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:54:45 GMT

@HSB1204 wrote:
@Shanus Good luck. Unfortunately I've been in the same situation many times. My hair doesn't grow very fast so it's extremely aggravating when you're trying to grown out your hair and you just want a tiny trim and they take off several inches. I've tried it all from telling them "just the bare minimum" to actually holding up my hair and showing them how much I was willing to let them cut off. It didn't work.

I've finally found a wonderful stylist who actually listens to me and she only cuts off what I want her to cut but I've had to deal with a lot of stylists who didn't listen before I found her.

WHY do they do this? Take off INCHES when you have clearly told them a HALF inch?

I gave up. I've been cutting my own hair for years. Now I don't have to fix anybody else's mistakes and if the hair looks good, I'll take the compliment and if not, I take the responsiblity.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

Trinity11 — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 16:34:57 GMT

@GingerPeach wrote:
@HSB1204 wrote:
@Shanus Good luck. Unfortunately I've been in the same situation many times. My hair doesn't grow very fast so it's extremely aggravating when you're trying to grown out your hair and you just want a tiny trim and they take off several inches. I've tried it all from telling them "just the bare minimum" to actually holding up my hair and showing them how much I was willing to let them cut off. It didn't work.

I've finally found a wonderful stylist who actually listens to me and she only cuts off what I want her to cut but I've had to deal with a lot of stylists who didn't listen before I found her.
WHY do they do this? Take off INCHES when you have clearly told them a HALF inch?

I gave up. I've been cutting my own hair for years. Now I don't have to fix anybody else's mistakes and if the hair looks good, I'll take the compliment and if not, I take the responsiblity.

@GingerPeach, I have layers in my hair. I would never be able to cut the back. I tried a few years ago and it was a disaster.

Re: FEAR OF CUTTING

GingerPeach — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 16:50:25 GMT

@Trinity11 wrote:
@GingerPeach wrote:
@HSB1204 wrote:
@Shanus Good luck. Unfortunately I've been in the same situation many times. My hair doesn't grow very fast so it's extremely aggravating when you're trying to grown out your hair and you just want a tiny trim and they take off several inches. I've tried it all from telling them "just the bare minimum" to actually holding up my hair and showing them how much I was willing to let them cut off. It didn't work.

I've finally found a wonderful stylist who actually listens to me and she only cuts off what I want her to cut but I've had to deal with a lot of stylists who didn't listen before I found her.
WHY do they do this? Take off INCHES when you have clearly told them a HALF inch?

I gave up. I've been cutting my own hair for years. Now I don't have to fix anybody else's mistakes and if the hair looks good, I'll take the compliment and if not, I take the responsiblity.
@GingerPeach, I have layers in my hair. I would never be able to cut the back. I tried a few years ago and it was a disaster.

I don't mind practicing on myself, @Trinity11, and now there are even helpful Youtube videos that weren't around when I first started. I cut layers.

My first big breakthrough was finding and using Glamour Guide to Hair. Published in 1986 but it includes classic and easy styles still worn today. (Some are outdated, sure, but a lot are still "today.")

It has all sorts of styles from long to short with illustrated instructions on how to cut.

(My copy is in pristine condition. The only Google feature I found on this pans it dreadfully, but they are so wrong. Sorry, Google.)

If you like, I will copy and post relevant pages from the book so you can judge for yourself. Just let me know how you like your hair to look and I'll find an example of the cut that fits the description. Just if you're curious.)