topic Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO?????? in Beauty

WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

lyn61 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:02:05 GMT

I work with someone who is over-the top VAIN. So i am responding to the lady who posted WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS....

This lady talks about her hair, her face, her body etc...IT NEVER ENDS, When she gets her hair colored, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. When she sees that her hair is getting damaged due to straightening it everyday, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. When she sees more wrinkles, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. Don't tell her she looks tired because she will OBSESS about that ALL DAY LONG. She looks in the mirror at every chance .....I could go on and on about her..

MY POINT IS THIS...Life has to be torture for those that constantly think their life means nothing if they don't have the perfect body, clothes, makeup, hair etc..

No one really cares if i go to the store in sweats and no makeup.no one will remember me as "THAT GIRL" how dare she dress or look like that!

My CONCERNS IN LIFE are ANIMAL ABUSE, and the horrors man inflicts on man..

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Ms X — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:10:19 GMT

Do you con

@lyn61 wrote:
I work with someone who is over-the top VAIN. So i am responding to the lady who posted WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS....

This lady talks about her hair, her face, her body etc...IT NEVER ENDS, When she gets her hair colored, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. When she sees that her hair is getting damaged due to straightening it everyday, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. When she sees more wrinkles, its all about that ALL DAY LONG. Don't tell her she looks tired because she will OBSESS about that ALL DAY LONG. She looks in the mirror at every chance .....I could go on and on about her..

MY POINT IS THIS...Life has to be torture for those that constantly think their life means nothing if they don't have the perfect body, clothes, makeup, hair etc..

No one really cares if i go to the store in sweats and no makeup.no one will remember me as "THAT GIRL" how dare she dress or look like that!
My CONCERNS IN LIFE are ANIMAL ABUSE, and the horrors man inflicts on man..

Do you consider yourself superior to her? Are you a better person? Does her focus on her looks, according to your description, mean she doesn't care about anything or anyone else?

How is your post slamming her less offensive than the other post about women letting themselves go? (I didn't find it offensive, but some said they did.) I'm not trying to pick a fight, but these questions do come to mind.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

lyn61 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:11:58 GMT

look, thats NOT my intention here...Did I say I thought I was better than her? WE ARE WORK FRIENDS.. 5 days a week! I have to hear it all day long..I thought I made my point very clear. People like you just want to start something thats NOT THERE

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Ms X — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:17:57 GMT

@lyn61 wrote:
look, thats NOT my intention here...Did I say I thought I was better than her? WE ARE WORK FRIENDS.. 5 days a week! I have to hear it all day long..I thought I made my point very clear. People like you just want to start something thats NOT THERE

Well, then what is your intention if it's not to paint yourself as caring about so many important things and this "friend" of yours as just a superficial person who cares only about her looks?

BTW, a person doesn't have to be all dressed up to look good. Similarly, a woman who cares a lot about how she looks can still be a very caring, good person who does a lot for other people (maybe even more than the woman who isn't "vain").

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

lyn61 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:18:01 GMT

Just making a point. A POINT...POINT...POINT.........

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Q4u — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:22:02 GMT

I feel great sympathy (and compassion) for anyone who obsesses over their looks incessently because there is no permanent fix to it... all we can do is to reasonable take care of ourselves and grow old gracefully. Even those kicking and screaming their way into old-er age can't stave it off....(think Melanie Griffith) and there comes the point where even face lifts stop working because there is "somelthing" inside the eyes (the soul maybe?) that tips off those looking at them.

To spend the day obsessing about one's looks is (to me) a total waste of time. Be the best you can be, fix and tweek if you must and then relax about it.... life's too short and we're all going in the same direction....

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

on the bay — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:22:36 GMT

I know someone like this and I think you are right that it must not be very peaceful or fun to constantly be obsessed and worried about every part of how they look.

I do like to dress up when I feel like it and wear no makeup and not such good clothes when I feel like it.

I don't feel superior or inferior, jealous or otherwise. I think everyone just has different priorities. Yet sometimes these can turn into obsessions.For example, I used to be totally into how the house looked. I enjoyed decorating but it got to be something I just immersed myself in too much probably as an escape from unhappy things at the time.

The important thing is how that person feels and what they like and what matters to them. There is no point in judging someone else's choices. An opinion is one thing, or thinking, well thats not me but I think its mean to judge someone based on our own opinions if that makes sense

and I try not to do it and when I do, yes I don't like being like that!

I do admire people who always look put together, I just never seemed to be able to do that though I can look and feel pretty. But I am most interested in how people feel on the inside and like you said how animals are treated.That is so important to me and how people treat each other.

In a perfect world, animals would never be hurt.

One of my greatest wishes!

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Ms X — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:22:37 GMT

@lyn61 wrote:
Just making a point. A POINT...POINT...POINT.........

Isn't it just another form of vanity for one woman to criticize another by saying she's concerned about important issues while other women are just vain and obsessed with their looks? I'm not aiming this at you alone. It's really a commentary on that other thread as well. I think whatever a woman decides is fine as long as her doctor doesn't feel she's harming her health by not following a healthy lifestyle. In my book, both you and your friend are okay in your choices.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Annabellethecat66 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:26:13 GMT

@Ms X I thought you made a very viable point. @lyn61 I didn't think she was trying to 'pick a fight'. I think she was just asking a question.

None of us are in your position. We are hearing your side of this problem. Read it out loud and see what you think.

She's probably a very insecure person. My middle daughter is very pretty. She's been told that all of her life. I used to say, "There's more to you than your looks and your body". She was one of the most insecure people I know. Yet she came across as being conceited and full of herself.

Well, she had what we call "an attitude adjustment" after she had her first baby (some things shifted) Ha!

She's still beautiful and has a great body but now she's more interested in keeping an eye on her three wonderful daughters. Priorities change.

Just think of this person as someone who might not have many friends (if she's like you say she is, she probably doesn't).

You don't have to love her, just accept her the way she is and don't let it bother you.

When you get angry and let someone make you have a bad day, you are giving them control over what kind of day you have. Think about it that way.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Ms X — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:29:25 GMT

This discussion reminds me of the old homemaker/career woman back-and-forth. Feminism is all about making the choice that you feel is best for you at any given time.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Zita — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:38:00 GMT

But you have to admit, women who do this are boring!

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

luv-the-Q — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:41:29 GMT

I work with two women who are VERY obsessed with their looks. One woman is perfectly dressed, has a perfect body, perfect make-up and perfect hair. She is one of the sweetest, friendliest, and most caring people I know. They both are. One would do anything for you that you asked. If someone judged them because of their overly concern about their looks it would be a huge misjudgment.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Q4u — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:42:16 GMT

Tell her one day that she looks wonderful that day.... that her hair and make up look very pretty, that whatever she's doing, to keep it up, it's great.....

I'm betting it will make her day and that she doesn't have anyone telling her anything remotely like this in her life....

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

SeaMaiden — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:45:17 GMT

Being around someone obsessing over them selves would be hard to deal with all day long. Think how hard it is for that person to have to live with themselves 24 hours a day. I am sure they are very unhappy never being happy with themselves.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

NycVixen — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 06:22:39 GMT

Actually, I find that you more attractive a woman is, the more people around her focus on it. I've been told my whole life that I'm attractive and unfortunately both family and friends zero in the second they see me on how I look that day. There is a lot of pressure to always look perfect once you are deemed to be good looking. This is actually what makes a lot of attractive people very insecure because they are indeed not perfect.

Like I've posted before, I have a scholarship to a well known university yet hardly none of my family or friends outside of school ever ask me about that. I cut my hair very short over 2 years ago and my mom just got over it. Every time she saw me to had to tell me to let my hair grow back since I'd lost my 'grace'. Meanwhile, the whole point to cutting my hair was to look more professional so I can be taken seriously.

OP, your co-worker is not vain but insecure IMO. People who are secure don't voice out their flaws because they don't have them in their eyes or it doesn't bother them.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Annabellethecat66 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 02:15:45 GMT

@NycVixen WOW! Very well said.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

ILTH — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 02:28:52 GMT

@luv-the-Q

I had the same experience with a coworker. Obsessed with her looks (which doesn't harm anyone else, so, why should anyone else care? Live and let live); the kindest, most caring person.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

ladyroxanne — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 02:56:28 GMT

i feel very sorry for anyone that is so insecure in their looks that they obsess on them all the time. what a terrible existence that must be. they have my sympathy and i hope that if i had a friend like that i would be able to be gracious enough to accept her the way she is.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

Danielle46 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 03:11:52 GMT

I don't feel there has to be something wrong with a woman because she takes pride in looking her best. I always want my hair & make up looking great, I love and buy beautiful apparel, my husband and I eat healthy and we both work out 4 days a week. I want to have and keep a beautiful body and I love that my husband looks amazing. I'm not insecure, I just love looking my best, it makes me feel great and quite frankly several of my friends are similar in the way they take care of themselves. I would never leave the house with no makeup and in sweatpants and my husband dosn't dress like that either. Our way of dressing casual is a great pair of jeans or cords, boots great sweater and bag. In addition, it sure doesn't hurt that after 23 years of marriage my husband compliments me every single day. I have a fulfilling & great life, looking my best doesn't consume it. Maybe your just jealous of your friend at work. By the way, my mother always looked and dressed beautiful. She would never walk out the house in sweatpants, no makeup etc. I don't know anyone who does.

Re: WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS ALSO??????

NJgirl 1205 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 03:24:37 GMT

I think anyone who obsesses over anything is difficult to be around. Over the years I have had coworkers, friend and relatives who "obsess" on all fronts from looks to decorating homes to children to animal rescue to travel and volunteer work, you name it! All of it is rather tiresome when you have to hear about it all day every day.... unless, of course, you happen to obsess over the same thing..

As a side note, I recall 2 women at work who years ago would always talking about collectible dolls. The porcelain dolls sold on tv, by Marie Osmond, at swaps, flea markets etc. This is ALL they would talk about and while we thought they were obsessed, to them it was perfectly normal. I was young but remember thinking they were crazy to be wasting so much energy, time and money on dolls. Now it's live and let live and to each his own.

I wonder, is a deep interest or passion the same as an obsession? I think we often label someone obsessed when our interests don't align.