topic O/T personal habits in public? in Beauty

O/T personal habits in public?

theatrebiz — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 15:07:09 GMT

Okay, I fear a lot of you are going to just tell me to live and let live...but I am wondering if the situation/person I am about to describe does this when she is nervous and doesn't realize how gross it is, or if she just doesn't realize how gross it is....

Here goes - a junior colleague of mine has a habit of using an old fashioned hankie to thoroughly clean her nose, then she shakes it out, refolds it and puts it back in her pocket. And she does this in public, in a meeting, whenever and where ever the mood (or nerves) hit.

Maybe I am particularly sensitive to this, but I have to look away, it just grosses me out. I understand if your nose is running you might need a tissue (the kind you throw away) to wipe or blow in public, but this goes beyond that.

I mean I wear invisilign braces, and I do not take them out in front of people when I am about to eat. I either take them out (privately) in advance of a meeting (where food is served) or I excuse myself and go to the restroom. It does not bother me to see my own spit, but I think it would be totally disgusting for someone to watch me pull these out of my mouth with strings of saliva dripping off of them!

Anyway, do you think I should pull her aside and suggest her nose cleaning should be done in private, whenever possible? suggest she use tissues (which, by the way our office provides so there are boxes all over the place)? Leave it alone?

thank you in advance for you consideration.

Michele

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

KMBSAB — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 15:16:05 GMT

It's gross for sure but I am not sure that I would say anything.

Curious to see what other think. I think it would be hard to approach her about it.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

expatgal — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 15:16:23 GMT

After 20 years in the corporate world, I strongly advise you to look away and let it ride. There simply is no good way to approach her about this without making her angry, uncomfortable, or embarrassed. One of the Vice Presidents of the company I worked for had his little "habit" that became the joke that wouldn't die. No matter what the situation, no matter who he was with, no matter how many people ... he nervously was compelled to "adjust himself". Just look away.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

Mrsq2022 — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 15:24:40 GMT

Let it go or IF it really bothers you and prevents you from working or distracts you to the point that it interferes with your job, tell Human Resources....but don't confront the employee. Depending on how you went about it, it could be perceived as confrontational or picking on the employee.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

twocent — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 15:35:54 GMT

This is beyond nauseating. I would have to say something , but should you? No . Probably not.

I got raked over the coals in another thread , as I have a problem with those who clean, dig, examine - and blow at a restaurant table, then toss the tissue/napkin on the table.

I suggested they excuse themselves, out of manners and respect for those seated with them - as well as others .

I was "insensitive to those with illness."

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

Angel1948 — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:21:00 GMT

How gross is that? I would want to say something. It I doubt if I would though. I do not blow my nose in public because I think it's gross .i worked with a woman years ago that would wear sleeveless blouses and didn't shave under her arms and she had a lot of hair and must not have used deodorant either and I wanted to say something so bad, in fact some of us wanted to give a bar of soap, never did but it was a thought .

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

jurby — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:24:25 GMT

On 3/11/2014 CAshopper2011 said: Let it go or IF it really bothers you and prevents you from working or distracts you to the point that it interferes with your job, tell Human Resources....but don't confront the employee. Depending on how you went about it, it could be perceived as confrontational or picking on the employee.

Considering i work in HR the first thing you should do is talk with your coworker in private. Going to HR without talking with your coworker first is only going to have HR say to you "Have you talked with your coworker about it already?". if you don't HR is going to tell you to do so. only after you talk to your coworker first and the situation doesn't get rectified that way will HR be willing to take action, and only after you've also spoken with your boss/supervisor/manager.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

chrystaltree — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:34:02 GMT

It's gross and disgusting. And you should say NOTHING. You think she's going to thank you for telling her she's a disgusting pig? You'll only antagonize her and that could create a different set of problems. Depending on what your supervisor is like, you might try privately discussing this with him or her. Approach it from a health perspective (which it is), stress how unsanitary her behavior is and ask for advice. But don't be surprised if he or she backs away from the situation. It's a no win situation. Also, if Miss Piggy has a close friend at work, you might try enlisting that person's help.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

haddon9 — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:36:35 GMT

Oh Yuck!!!! She ""shakes it out""?! Sounds like she could be spreading germs as well as looking gross. You have my sympathies having to be around this. I don't know what I would say but I just might ask why she doesn't like using paper tissues.

Hmmm maybe on second thought you might want to whip out some hand sanitzer when she does this...might get the hint.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

katkitty — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:40:30 GMT

On 3/11/2014 jurby said:
On 3/11/2014 CAshopper2011 said: Let it go or IF it really bothers you and prevents you from working or distracts you to the point that it interferes with your job, tell Human Resources....but don't confront the employee. Depending on how you went about it, it could be perceived as confrontational or picking on the employee.

Considering i work in HR the first thing you should do is talk with your coworker in private. Going to HR without talking with your coworker first is only going to have HR say to you "Have you talked with your coworker about it already?". if you don't HR is going to tell you to do so. only after you talk to your coworker first and the situation doesn't get rectified that way will HR be willing to take action, and only after you've also spoken with your boss/supervisor/manager.

Going to HR is really extreme. If a habit of a co-worker bothers you, then look away.

It's not lewd behavior; it is personally gross to you because it is something that you wouldn't dream of doing in public. 'I'm too nice to say something to that employee (?) so I'll get HR to deal with what I don't like.... to stop it.'

Are you prepared to open up a can of worms in the workplace by running to HR? It may be a gross thing.... and also equally smart to turn a blind eye if it does not interfere with work performance.

Running to HR smacks of childish grade school tattling over such a thing.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

Treeinwind — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:40:57 GMT

I don't think I would mention it but maybe you should. I once trained a gal who had to do some kind of treatment on her gums, then she would rub it on them and use my keyboard. I didn't say anything, just sanitized my keyboard after telling her to go practice at her desk on her own for awhile. She didn't last long and I never mentioned it to anyone. Maybe I should have.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

chrystaltree — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:42:21 GMT

On 3/11/2014 jurby said:
On 3/11/2014 CAshopper2011 said: Let it go or IF it really bothers you and prevents you from working or distracts you to the point that it interferes with your job, tell Human Resources....but don't confront the employee. Depending on how you went about it, it could be perceived as confrontational or picking on the employee.

Considering i work in HR the first thing you should do is talk with your coworker in private. Going to HR without talking with your coworker first is only going to have HR say to you "Have you talked with your coworker about it already?". if you don't HR is going to tell you to do so. only after you talk to your coworker first and the situation doesn't get rectified that way will HR be willing to take action, and only after you've also spoken with your boss/supervisor/manager.

NO WAY would anyone in HR, in this day and age, give anyone such BAD advice. The very last thing any employee should ever do is approach someone who obviously has "issues" over something like this. As a manager, I have never dealth with this particular problem but I have had employees with body odor issues, bad breath issues. We even had a woman who wore very thin cotton dresses....and no underwear. It was ALL on display for everyone to see. My staff brought their complaints to me, I went to HR and HR always told me to distance myself and to say NOTHING to the offenders and to advise my staff to say nothing. We are a large company with a large Occupational Health department and in those instances, HR didn't even speak with the stinky employees. HR referred the matter Occ Health and the nurses from that department handled things. You have problem with a coworker, you go to your supervisor manager first. If that fails, you go to HR. You never approach a problem employee yourself.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

twocent — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:06:52 GMT

I am not saying this to be snarky. About the time she ""shook it out"" - I would be vomiting .

That's just me.

I really feel for you- having to be subjected to this. I almost gagged -just reading about it.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

Puppy Lips — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:10:41 GMT

Yuck, yuck, and yuck. Look away and don't say anything. If she does not know this is gross, I doubt she will change. I am sure others are grossed out by this too.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

gazelle77 — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:11:41 GMT

I personally never have understood the idea of a hanky and blowing your nose SNOT on it and putting it back dirty into your pocket or purse to use again. Now that we have tissues- kleenx and such, hankys should never be used.... are just a bacteria laden gross awful thing to reuse and reuse..... makes me want to vomit!Most Women no longer( I hope!) use rags now that there is Kotex pads. A hanky is like a rag. GROSS!!!

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

kcladyz — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:33:23 GMT

I do not see the problem. I thought everyone blew their nose in public. Now I would not shake the hankie in public and spread germs but who uses a hankie these days? Does not everyone just use tissue or toilet paper and throw it away?

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

circles — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:47:32 GMT

I think hankies are filthy ....why ...in this day and age...would people still use them...just reading your post made me sick to my stomach...I hate when anyone blow their nose when we are seated at the table to eat....especially those that really honk it out....then proceed to touch the bread...that I have to eat, too....

I once worked with a woman ....who was so nice....but really had bad body odor...and as we worked in a small space there was no moving away from the smell...I spoke to our boss and he brought her into the office.....and she cleaned up real good...

In another instance...a different job...I worked with a woman who would floss at the table..there she would be...at the lunch table flinging out her teeth junk...and she made a huge production of it....totally gross...fortunately I could move away from her or eat at a different time then her...so I wasn't subject to it on a daily basis...

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

HappyDaze — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:08:19 GMT

That is really really gross but no, you shouldn't discuss it with her as it really isn't your place. We all probably have things we do that bother others (maybe not this extreme though!).

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

twocent — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:09:42 GMT

On 3/11/2014 kcladyz said:
I do not see the problem. I thought everyone blew their nose in public. Now I would not shake the hankie in public and spread germs but who uses a hankie these days? Does not everyone just use tissue or toilet paper and throw it away?

Well that speaks volumes.

Re: O/T personal habits in public?

Shogirl — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:12:57 GMT

I honk my hooter loudly and alot (that's my husband's terminology), but he's the only one I do it in front of. If I have to do it at work or at a restaurant, I go to the restroom and start honkin'.