topic Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words in Beauty

O/T: A mother's eloquent words

suzyQ3 — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:03:25 GMT

A long-time friend and associate of my husband is a woman whose son was murdered in a case that has been much in the news in SoCal since the murder occurred in 2010. The murder occurred during the robbery of a medical marijuana dispensary where the young man was employed.

Yesterday the two accused men were convicted to life in prison without possibility of parole.

Here is the mother's very poignant statement in court during the sentence hearing:

I appreciate the opportunity to address the court and the community in this way, honoring the memory of so many murdered children whose parents never get to see the justice of the inside of a courtroom and on behalf of my husband, Matthew’s father, Don Butcher, unable to attend the trial or today due to health and east-coast retired law enforcement attitude considerations.

Boy this s*cks.

I’d like to start by thanking, well, everyone! Thanks to Judge Marcus – you ran a fair, brisk trial and are so clearly committed to blind justice in its practical & purest form. Thank you to the jurors. Your willingness to serve is where our collective commitment to democracy meets the road. I thank each of you for listening so attentively to the details I couldn’t bear to see.

Thank you to the office of the District Attorney and especially to now Judge Deborah Brazil. She is relentless. Thanks to LAPD detectives English & King who NEVER gave up. Thanks to Marlene, a volunteer with the Mayor’s Crisis Response Team, who stood with me in the late evening of Thursday, June 24, 2010 while I waited to hear confirmation that the young man shot to death on the hard concrete floor of the Higher Path medical marijuana dispensary was my son.

Thank you to Luisa ForReal and the advocates of the DA’s Victim-Witness Assistance team. Their work and support is invisible until you need them and then: Wow!!!

Thank you, Urban Jones, Jr. for surviving, for fighting to live to tell the story. Because you survived, we stand here today seeking justice. Everything you do from that night on honors Mateo’s memory. And your mom’s love and perseverance. Thank you, Victoria McCullough . Urban Jones.

Frank, Dylan Greenleaf Stickybud, Natalie Nicole Farias, Justin Taylor, Molly Rhodes Navarrete, Michelle Buehler, Liz Greenwood, Michael & Suzanne, Michael Norbut & Annie, Tim Parks, Lynelle, Shoushan Kevranian Baghboudarian, Lidia Lizbeth Lopez, Hector C. Rodriguez -- Everyone!

Matthew Benjamin Butcher was born on a cold, rainy St. Patrick’s Day in 1983. His first word was ball followed closely by dog, pronounced “Dawwwwdg!” with great excitement, and for a while our little world was divided into balls and dogs. He was a sweet baby, a delightful child, smart, stubborn, and inquisitive as an art, or for sport.

God, I loved him!

Matt was a gifted athlete with a smart eye and a big heart. The condolence notes I received from Matthew’s coaches across the years shared many kind words about his competitive spirit, selfless commitment to the team, love of the game.

He was a good man.

He was his mother’s son, never crossed a picket line, always rooted for the underdog. He worked at the Higher Path because he believed in the healing benefits of marijuana.

I’ve heard stories – stories a mother would never otherwise hear. Matthew was a good man, a good friend, a lover, not a fighter, a kibitzer, a committed golfer, a better brother than anyone except Steven Butcher knew; he treated women with respect – the prayer of every mother raising a son.

I miss him every day.

I wear his deodorant. Every morning I put on his scent, something manly and Gillette-y.

Last week I found myself chatting with my lovely young dentist, Dr. Helen Song. She stopped, put her hand on my arm when she realized the import of her telling me: “I was born in 1982.”

Matthew would have turned 30 on March 17th of 2013. I will never know Matthew at 32. Or at 39. I will never cuddle his babies, the way I’m supposed to get to do. I’ll never get to spoil Matthew’s children, sugar them up and send ‘em home.

They’re right. It is the worst thing that can happen. You figure, as a mom -- you figure the one thing you gotta do is to keep them alive. Job one. Safety & health. Burying a child defies the way everything is supposed to work.

This trial has been little about Matthew. He is gone, and, other than the occasion when I feel him driving with me, his hair long and loose, his beard full and red, his eyes twinkling at me the way they did, nothing will bring him back.

Matt Butcher was 5’8” and weighed 135 lbs. dripping. He’d give you the shirt off his back. There was no reason to kill him, there was no need to kill him.

It was senseless.

And so: In the name of justice, we ask that these murderers never again walk among us, that they never ever get the chance to kill another mother’s son. Please, we ask for a sentence of life in prison with absolutely no possibility of parole.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Fabilola — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:04:54 GMT

With all due respect, this is Beauty Banter….

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

suzyQ3 — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:11:55 GMT

On 1/11/2014 Fabby said:
With all due respect, this is Beauty Banter….

I know I ruffled your feathers recently, but are you serious?

You know very well that many posters who enjoy one another here occasionally post a topic that doesn't relate to Beauty. Do you plan on scolding all of them?

Oh, and you know what I do when I don't want to read a topic, related or labeled O/T? I don't open it.

I suggest that you read the mother's words here. You might benefit from her strength and love.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

karin334 — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:17:04 GMT

How touching and strong. Thank you for sharing.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

jetts_mom — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:18:43 GMT

What beautiful, loving, yet heart wrenching words from a mother who has faced what a parent should never have to - burying their child. It's not the natural order of things, and to have them taken in any way is something I cannot imagine. I would lay my life down to save my daughter's.

Thank you for sharing. May I only hope to be able to face adversity with this kind of grace.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Kcubed — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:23:45 GMT

On 1/11/2014 Fabby said:
With all due respect, this is Beauty Banter….

Yes, and this is a beautiful speech. It brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing, OP.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Caribbean Candy — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:30:58 GMT

suzy q3 thanks for the post. How very sad for the Butcher family. This post made me reflect on how we all need to appreciate how fragile life is. Something I fail to do. Also there are O/T 's on this board often enough so I wouldn't worry about what you posted.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

beauty queen — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:50:22 GMT

What beautiful words for such a sad occasion. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes we lose sight of things. Thanks again

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

suzyQ3 — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:50:49 GMT

I'm so glad that these words touched others the way they touched me. Thanks for your replies so far.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Irshgrl31201 — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:56:01 GMT

Wow. That was beyond beautiful.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

sage4 — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:05:04 GMT

SuzyQ3 why did you have to post this? It brought tears to my eyes. I don't think I would have been able to stand up in court and say those words. I don't read Beauty Banter but when I saw O/T I had to see what it was about and I am so glad it did. It really touched me.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

curlywhitedog — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:15:18 GMT

On 1/11/2014 Fabby said:
With all due respect, this is Beauty Banter….

The fact that you add the words "with all due respect" doesn't change the fact that you were disrespectful. Ever lose a child? Obviously not, but those of us who have do not need people like you deciding what we post on behalf of those who have or, for that matter, where we post it.

You own the OP an apology although I won't hold my breath waiting for it to come and neither should she.

Maria

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Miss Lizzie — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:31:22 GMT

As a Mother that lost a beautiful daughter on her 24th birthday.... All I can say is AMEN

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Miss Lizzie — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:33:13 GMT

On 1/11/2014 Fabby said:
With all due respect, this is Beauty Banter….

This was uncalled for. I feel sorry for you.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

curlywhitedog — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:40:21 GMT

On 1/11/2014 Miss Lizzie said:
As a Mother that lost a beautiful daughter on her 24th birthday.... All I can say is AMEN

Miss Lizzie:

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my child the day before his 15th birthday. So much sadness in this world and then there are people like Fabby who don't have a clue.

Maria

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

BellaCarro — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:46:57 GMT

On 1/11/2014 beauty queen said:
What beautiful words for such a sad occasion. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes we lose sight of things. Thanks again

Couldn't have said it better myself so ITA

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

suzyQ3 — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:59:29 GMT

I am so sorry for any of you who had the unthinkable happen. I'm glad if you found some comfort in this post.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Miss Lizzie — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 23:12:43 GMT

On 1/11/2014 curlywhitedog said:
On 1/11/2014 Miss Lizzie said:
As a Mother that lost a beautiful daughter on her 24th birthday.... All I can say is AMEN

Miss Lizzie:

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my child the day before his 15th birthday. So much sadness in this world and then there are people like Fabby who don't have a clue.

Maria

Thank you Maria. My heart goes out to anyone that has lost a child. Our hearts will always be broken. But you just go on somehow. Maybe even stronger. People like Fabby are probably young and have not experienced life's hardships. It is hard to understand when you have not had trials. And I certainly hope she never does. My point is she can't help it. It's ok. And yes this is a Beauty Board but a lot of us are friends and at times we like to share other thoughts.

Liz

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

whitedogs — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 23:58:29 GMT

Thank you for posting this heartbroken mother's words - especially on a beauty board. It is indeed beautiful. There are more meaningful things in our world than anti-aging products.

Re: O/T: A mother's eloquent words

Naturesbeauty — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 00:04:53 GMT

On 1/11/2014 Fabby said:
With all due respect, this is Beauty Banter….

This was so undue........that said! This is why I only read and don't post here any more! Hope this will help those who post such needless things that only "HURT!" On "NEGATIVITY".........Negativity of any kind is never productive, it drags a person, a community down. Its easy to be negative and its human nature to be negative. But, it does no good to be that way! It only brings hurt, anger, frustration, nasty comments etc. and fosters the worst of human nature and in the end, tears down rather than builds up! Positivity is never mindless!! It is a difficult thing to attain and takes focus, determination and hard work but the payoff is big when we are hit with disaster. Positivity will determine whether we will go down with the ship or rise above circumstances and be happy in anything. Not for nothing is the advice to think on the positive in any situation given by all great thinkers. It leads to peace and tranquility in lives.