It sounds like this is a very hard situation for both of you and that you are both dealing with complex feelings.
You question whether your brother is an alcoholic. If he was, then he would have exhibited problem drinking consistently throughout his life. The amount you note he drinks would not necessarily indicate alcoholism. What is likely to be happening with him is that he is using the drinking right now just to be able to deal with his life. He is probably using alcohol to self medicate, which would be understandable. If a doctor prescribed him some medications to help him cope with his pain, you probably wouldn't find it so objectionable. Using anything to stop feeling the pain of life or to numb oneself is not a good long term strategy, but it is understandable for a while. Think about what he has been through. I have not lost a child, but people say that is the worst pain ever. Then you lose your marriage, you go through a divorce which is a very difficult thing and creates pain that only others who gave experienced divorce can understand, you lose your livelihood, and you have to rely on someone else to take you in. The pain of these types of life experiences are not individual but cumulative - and by that I mean they keep building on each other so that the next trauma is even worse than it would be if it had been the only bad thing to happen to you. I can imagine that he is at the end of his rope because everything in his life has fallen apart. We don't know if he saw battle as a veteran, but if he did, that can also be a pretty horrific experience. In a way, you may be the only think he still has to hang on to that can remind him that life can be good. Despite everything he's been through, he has not given up on life or on himself. He is working a little, and he is actively working so that he can have another career and a future. That is a very positive sign and something you can both be proud of. A little support, compassion, understanding, and some leeway can really help him to get his life back together.
I can appreciate your discomfort with him drinking in your home. I'm sure you knew he drank alcohol before he came to live with you. You probably knew he'd have an occasional drink in your home. But he is drinking more than you are comfortable with. I'm not asking you to answer this publicly, but ask yourself what it is about the drinking that is truly bothering you. Not at a surface level, but deep down. If you pray or meditate, then you can become still and ask the question about yourself and see what answer comes to you. I'd guess there may be something other than 'suspecting he is an alcoholic'. For example, it could be that you are concerned his life could spiral further out of control, or that it could become more than you feel capable of dealing with, perhaps the stress of having someone around who is in so much pain is just too much for you or it makes you uncomfortable, or feeling helpless because you love him but don't know how to help him. Different people would respond in different ways in your situation. Some would never have permitted their brother to live with them, some would kick him out, some might ask him gently when he makes a mistake like getting rid of leftovers - what was happening with you? What were you thinking or feeling when this happened? And they might say - it's OK, it's not a big deal. You just needed to get your feelings out. Is there something else that might help the next time you feel like this? To me, it seems like this happened because he was angry with life, or maybe angry with God, but he didn't have a better way to deal with his feelings. I know that for men, they are told that they are supposed to be strong and hold in their emotions that he may not even be aware of what he is feeling. Or he may be afraid of feeling because it would be too painful.
I wonder if your brother's cooking was a way for him to feel he had some value and that he could contribute to your household. This whole thing is very hard for you too, so maybe you and he need to have an occasional conversation about what you both need for this situation to work and to share you deep feelings, fears and concerns. He probably also needs to talk to someone so that he can get help in sorting out his feelings.
Good luck to you. I pray that this experience will turn out to be a blessing for you both.
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