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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@ANewHue wrote:

I'm sorry but I need to vent this out because if I don't I'm going to explodde.  Why can't people just live without having to insinuate something bad is going to happen to you because you are over 50.  I've had/have way more than my share of bad health in my life and when I feel good I feel great.  Age is just a number to me, life to me is a state of mind.  Nothing is more of a bummer than when someone gives me that "oh you look good " remark.  It doesn't just happen, it takes a lot of work to look good at any age. I just happen to like to workout and have been doing it most of my life.

a few months ago, a relative who had band surgery asked me in front of others "when are you going to gain weight".  I was so annoyed I replied "now why would I want to do that , just to have to lose it?"  IMO that was as rude a remark if I were to say to her "when are you going to lose some weight".  I couldn't resist and followed it up with "I dont eat".   She's probably telling everyone I'm sick.   I just feel people are wishing you bad because you took care of yourself.   Can't people just live after a certain age.  

 

 


 

i heard it all 2. in 1 ear out other

 

hnj

hckynut(john)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,781
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Tired of this

[ Edited ]

There are people who thrive on misfortune.........especially someone else's..............

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,163
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

@ANewHue, next time, ask her if she's willing to share some of hers. Those people are just bores!! They can't help themselves and it shows you how really "small" they are.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,201
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

When I was younger, a young woman, I was so insecure about my looks --- well, about my body, everything.  If I was told that I was pretty, had nice hair, a lovely figure --- I would think -- do I really??  I had no confidence --- still don't.

 

I was always thin and then a little later when I had to work at it --- which I did --- and hard --- watched my diet religiously --- and exercised constantly --- people would make snarky comments --- such as --- oh, but you were always thin --- so, you don't have to do anything to be that way.  Or, you're not like us --- we eat a mouthful of food and we get fat.  

 

Or --- I'd get comments the other way --- you're so darn skinny --- you look terrible --- like you never eat.  Go eat a cheeseburger.  

 

I used to go home and cry and feel so hurt by all these comments.

 

My mother told me -- these people are just jealous and are trying to just pull you down to make themselves feel better.  

 

You take pride in yourself and you work hard to look the way you do.  Don't let anyone   tear you down!!!  It's their problem -- not yours!!!  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,583
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

@ANewHue wrote:

I'm sorry but I need to vent this out because if I don't I'm going to explodde.  Why can't people just live without having to insinuate something bad is going to happen to you because you are over 50.  I've had/have way more than my share of bad health in my life and when I feel good I feel great.  Age is just a number to me, life to me is a state of mind.  Nothing is more of a bummer than when someone gives me that "oh you look good " remark.  It doesn't just happen, it takes a lot of work to look good at any age. I just happen to like to workout and have been doing it most of my life.

a few months ago, a relative who had band surgery asked me in front of others "when are you going to gain weight".  I was so annoyed I replied "now why would I want to do that , just to have to lose it?"  IMO that was as rude a remark if I were to say to her "when are you going to lose some weight".  I couldn't resist and followed it up with "I dont eat".   She's probably telling everyone I'm sick.   I just feel people are wishing you bad because you took care of yourself.   Can't people just live after a certain age.  

 

 


Ha! Just wait until menopause settles in and the weight floods over your body and turns you into the blob. Thats exactly how I have been feeling lately. I've got medical problems but have always kept my weight in check. I'm tall and have always been thin until the dreaded big M hit. Bam! Excess weight came on in floods! I live life now with one huge diet trying and trying to keep the fat off of me. Enjoy your health now and don't let anyone get under your skin.

"Pure Michigan"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,284
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@AngelPuppy1 wrote:

When I was younger, a young woman, I was so insecure about my looks --- well, about my body, everything.  If I was told that I was pretty, had nice hair, a lovely figure --- I would think -- do I really??  I had no confidence --- still don't.

 

I was always thin and then a little later when I had to work at it --- which I did --- and hard --- watched my diet religiously --- and exercised constantly --- people would make snarky comments --- such as --- oh, but you were always thin --- so, you don't have to do anything to be that way.  Or, you're not like us --- we eat a mouthful of food and we get fat.  

 

Or --- I'd get comments the other way --- you're so darn skinny --- you look terrible --- like you never eat.  Go eat a cheeseburger.  

 

I used to go home and cry and feel so hurt by all these comments.

 

My mother told me -- these people are just jealous and are trying to just pull you down to make themselves feel better.  

 

You take pride in yourself and you work hard to look the way you do.  Don't let anyone   tear you down!!!  It's their problem -- not yours!!!  


@AngelPuppy1 - been thin my entire life - no matter what I did or do and those comments that I underlined are just as hurtful as those at the opposite end of the spectrum.  To me they aren't compliments or anything remotely close to a compliment.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,078
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Think of it this way, she had to have surgery to fix her weight, you have taken care of yourself, some people just  want to be the center of attention. Also , some people just try ,and try to keep weight off,and it is difficult for some.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,873
Registered: ‎07-03-2014

ANewHue, perhaps if you saw this as it really was, you wouldn't bother with the ill feelings that resulted in what that person said. obviously it was from jealousy. you take great care of yourself and put in time and effort in doing so, which is highly commendable. that doesn't come easy with everyone. some prefer the easy way out, some don't care, and others just like to be a b about it and choose to put others down because maybe they feel crappy about themselves. the next time you hear a slight like that (but hopefully you won't), feel flattered instead and say, I'm fit and healthy and I feel good about myself!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,015
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Even my own family members (female cousins) claimed I must be anorexic since I never gained weight and lost all pregnancy weight within four months.  They did the lap band ect.  and are still overweight while I have always been active and exercised daily.  This started when I was a teenager and finally now in our mid to upper 50's they believe they may have been wrong about my so called "disease".  No health issues I did not die and I am still the same as I was back in the late 70's. 

I got the same comments about go eat a cheeseburger and no bigger than a minute.

It took decades to prove to FAMILY I was healthy and not sick in mind or body.  They did get the full chest and got left flat in the dirt on that score, oh well.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,454
Registered: ‎01-13-2013

@ANewHue Why do they do it - because that's the way people are.

 

Best to pay them no mind.