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Registered: ‎07-17-2010

@goldensrbest wrote:

Speaking for myself,it is a life long struggle,  pretty much


 

Yes, for me too, @goldensrbest.

 

It has really worn me out.  It's been a little over 30 years now that I've been dealing with depression.  I was a child when it started.  I had almost 7 fairly good childhood years, and then depression hit pretty suddenly.

 

Have you had any luck with treatment?  I used to get some relief from my meds, but they don't seem to be doing much now. 

 



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
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Posts: 8,788
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

@mistriTsquirrel

 

I thought of you often when you were gone for awhile.  Every time I go over to my sisters and see her squirrel collection, I think of you. I won't go into what has helped me as you have asked people not to do that....... who believe as I do.  I wish to respect that.  I hope you don't mind that...... when I think of you .....I say a little prayer.  I also would like to see you go somewhere to meet people and develop friendships with those who would relate and build you up.  Sending loving and caring thoughts your way.

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@jubilant wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel

 

I thought of you often when you were gone for awhile.  Every time I go over to my sisters and see her squirrel collection, I think of you. I won't go into what has helped me as you have asked people not to do that....... who believe as I do.  I wish to respect that.  I hope you don't mind that...... when I think of you .....I say a little prayer.  I also would like to see you go somewhere to meet people and develop friendships with those who would relate and build you up.  Sending loving and caring thoughts your way.


 

Thank you, @jubilantHeart

 

I'm happy to receive prayers.  I went back to look at my original post, trying to remember what I said.  I guess I have kind of a love/hate relationship with religion, because I would like to have some sort of faith, but my mind questions things to a degree that I don't.  

 

I don't mind that people have their own beliefs, I think I was just hoping to avoid having a lot of people tell me that I just need to have faith and things will get better.

 

It's been almost 4 years since I started this thread, and I think I feel better about religion in some ways and worse about it in others.

 

I have tried prayer.  I have asked God to give me some sort of indication or feeling that I'm not talking to myself, but I wind up feeling like I'm talking to myself.  I still pray when people ask for prayers though, because it can't hurt.

 

As for friends, I feel like the ones I've had have hurt me so much that I don't even want to seek out friends anymore.  I have online friends, and that is good for me.  Maybe someday I'll want people in my life offline, but I don't often like being around them at this point.

 

I'm glad to have online friends like you though. Heart

 

Thanks for thinking of me, Jubilant. Smiley Happy



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
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Posts: 17,476
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

mistriTsquirrel wrote:

dooBdoo wrote:

 

          Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, @mistriTsquirrel and @becca lou, and all who are dealing with challenges we might never know about.   "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." (Rumi)  Have a safe, peaceful weekend.❤️

 

 


Thank you, @dooBdoo!!  Heart

 

I hope you will have a nice weekend as well.  You are a sweetheart, and you deserve it.  Smiley Wink


 

          Thanks, so much, @mistriTsquirrel.   That's so kind of you to say.   I did post a long reply to yours on 3/22 but there were tons of website problems and parts of my reply were generating error messages.   Happened with several replies on several threads, so I deleted them all.   Not really words of wisdom, anyway...   just a reminder that when we keep doing the same things we get the same results so I hope by trying new avenues you'll get better results and life will start to look brighter for you.  

 

          Change can be painful and frightening but if we're existing in a quagmire of horrid depression and despair, we're already in pain and fear so we have to take action and move to a new place.  Holding on to the status quo of unhealthy relationships or old patterns can seem comforting on some level, usually because it's familiar, but it doesn't move us forward or create healing and it keeps us stuck in quicksand.

 

         Another point:  holding onto negative thinking, negative expectations, is self-fulfilling.   Positive thinking isn't going to generate a miracle, and a pot of gold, rainbows, or unicorns won't magically appear, that's for sure.   But switching from negative thoughts and moving toward discovering and nurturing an attitude of gratitude and watching for and expecting good things can affect us physiologically, emotionally, and mentally, and that's why effective therapy teaches us to practice it.

 

         You're not alone, no matter how it might seem that you are.  There are people out there, in your world, who understand and who can help if only you'll ask and receive.    Many of us speak from having been there, and many of us are still coping with these things.    So I hope our comments here translate not as harsh, sterile, cold platitudes but, instead, as what they are:   gentle, tender, warm, notes and scribbles from the heart.   My love to you, sweet mistri.❤️

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
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Posts: 17,476
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

goldensrbest wrote:

Speaking for myself,it is a life long struggle,  pretty much


 

          I didn't know that about you, @goldensrbest.    Many of us can relate, and this thread has been helpful -- sometimes it's active, other times not so much, but it's always here.    (((hugs))) to you ❤️ and also to @CareBears ❤️ who has been on my mind today.

 

 

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
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Posts: 5,354
Registered: ‎07-17-2010

@dooBdoo wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@dooBdoo wrote:

 

          Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, @mistriTsquirrel and @BeccaLou, and all who are dealing with challenges we might never know about.   "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." (Rumi)  Have a safe, peaceful weekend.❤️

 

 


Thank you, @dooBdoo!!  Heart

 

I hope you will have a nice weekend as well.  You are a sweetheart, and you deserve it.  Smiley Wink


 

          Thanks, so much, @mistriTsquirrel.   That's so kind of you to say.   I did post a long reply to yours on 3/22 but there were tons of website problems and parts of my reply were generating error messages.   Happened with several replies on several threads, so I deleted them all.   Not really words of wisdom, anyway...   just a reminder that when we keep doing the same things we get the same results so I hope by trying new avenues you'll get better results and life will start to look brighter for you.  

 

          Change can be painful and frightening but if we're existing in a quagmire of horrid depression and despair, we're already in pain and fear so we have to take action and move to a new place.  Holding on to the status quo of unhealthy relationships or old patterns can seem comforting on some level, usually because it's familiar, but it doesn't move us forward or create healing and it keeps us stuck in quicksand.

 

         Another point:  holding onto negative thinking, negative expectations, is self-fulfilling.   Positive thinking isn't going to generate a miracle, and a pot of gold, rainbows, or unicorns won't magically appear, that's for sure.   But switching from negative thoughts and moving toward discovering and nurturing an attitude of gratitude and watching for and expecting good things can affect us physiologically, emotionally, and mentally, and that's why effective therapy teaches us to practice it.

 

         You're not alone, no matter how it might seem that you are.  There are people out there, in your world, who understand and who can help if only you'll ask and receive.    Many of us speak from having been there, and many of us are still coping with these things.    So I hope our comments here translate not as harsh, sterile, cold platitudes but, instead, as what they are:   gentle, tender, warm, notes and scribbles from the heart.   My love to you, sweet mistri.❤️


@dooBdoo

 

Part of the difficulty with being very depressed is that you don't feel hopeful.  It's pretty much impossible to think positively when your hope is in steep decline or is absent.

 

I'm trying to figure out how to get my doctor to listen to me regarding the meds.  I've thought a lot about it, and I don't want to take an add-on when my base medication isn't even working.  I will just wind up having to change my main antidepressant anyway, so why not do that first and see if that is sufficient?  I don't want to try a medication that can cause permanent neurological problems, lactation, seizures and/or other weird and disturbing side effects.  I don't know how I will get through to him, because he doesn't seem to listen to anything I say.  

 

I don't know for sure whether a new SNRI will help or not, but I feel that trying a new one is the most logical option.  My current one is probably going to be horrendous to come off of.  It is so well known for being terrible to withdraw from that there's an entire forum for it (http://www.cymbaltawithdrawal.com/).  If you Google "Cymbalta withdrawal," there are plenty of horror stories told by people who have suffered while coming off the drug.  My doctor doesn't think it would be any big deal (!!!) even though I've been on Cymbalta for 10+ years.  I'm scared ****less of what it's going to be like.  I remember how awful it was starting Cymbalta, and if the withdrawal is going to be anything like that...I don't know what I'm going to do.  Honestly.  It was horrible.  It helped me for years, but when I was first on it there were moments when I questioned whether or not I was dying.  I just kept telling myself that things would be alright, even though I wasn't sure that was true.  I don't know if I have the strength to do that this time, but I don't know what other option I have.

 

I'm stuck.  I have to change anti-depressants, but I know I'm going to feel deathly ill doing it.  I've gone for a few days not taking it, and on day three I start to get sick.  I'm not looking forward to this.  There are 2 I haven't tried; if neither one works, I guess I will have to start looking for clinical trials in my area, if there are any.

 

 



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
Super Contributor
Posts: 422
Registered: ‎02-02-2016

@mistriTsquirrel You will never know how many lives you have touched via this thread....Love reading the postings..I and mant others can relate to this thread..we smile when you are happy and we become down when we know you are down...~Gracie

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,354
Registered: ‎07-17-2010

@gracie2014 wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel You will never know how many lives you have touched via this thread....Love reading the postings..I and mant others can relate to this thread..we smile when you are happy and we become down when we know you are down...~Gracie


@gracie2014

 

Thank you, Gracie. Heart

 

I hope the down posts don't mess with your mood too much.  

 

Maybe I should post a humorous link or something at the end of each sad post so that I can end it on a good note.  

 

Image result for thinking squirrel statue



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
Super Contributor
Posts: 422
Registered: ‎02-02-2016

@mistriTsquirrel, no just keep it real..everyone can relate..folks may not admit it but we all go through bouts of depression..people don't realize there is a difference in long term ve short term depression..just keep doing what you are doing.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,476
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@dooBdoo wrote:

 

          Thanks, so much, @mistriTsquirrel.   That's so kind of you to say.   I did post a long reply to yours on 3/22 but there were tons of website problems and parts of my reply were generating error messages.   Happened with several replies on several threads, so I deleted them all.   Not really words of wisdom, anyway...   just a reminder that when we keep doing the same things we get the same results so I hope by trying new avenues you'll get better results and life will start to look brighter for you.  

 

          Change can be painful and frightening but if we're existing in a quagmire of horrid depression and despair, we're already in pain and fear so we have to take action and move to a new place.  Holding on to the status quo of unhealthy relationships or old patterns can seem comforting on some level, usually because it's familiar, but it doesn't move us forward or create healing and it keeps us stuck in quicksand.

 

         Another point:  holding onto negative thinking, negative expectations, is self-fulfilling.   Positive thinking isn't going to generate a miracle, and a pot of gold, rainbows, or unicorns won't magically appear, that's for sure.   But switching from negative thoughts and moving toward discovering and nurturing an attitude of gratitude and watching for and expecting good things can affect us physiologically, emotionally, and mentally, and that's why effective therapy teaches us to practice it.

 

         You're not alone, no matter how it might seem that you are.  There are people out there, in your world, who understand and who can help if only you'll ask and receive.    Many of us speak from having been there, and many of us are still coping with these things.    So I hope our comments here translate not as harsh, sterile, cold platitudes but, instead, as what they are:   gentle, tender, warm, notes and scribbles from the heart.   My love to you, sweet mistri.❤️


@dooBdoo

 

Part of the difficulty with being very depressed is that you don't feel hopeful.  It's pretty much impossible to think positively when your hope is in steep decline or is absent.

 

I'm trying to figure out how to get my doctor to listen to me regarding the meds.  I've thought a lot about it, and I don't want to take an add-on when my base medication isn't even working.  I will just wind up having to change my main antidepressant anyway, so why not do that first and see if that is sufficient?  I don't want to try a medication that can cause permanent neurological problems, lactation, seizures and/or other weird and disturbing side effects.  I don't know how I will get through to him, because he doesn't seem to listen to anything I say.  

 

I don't know for sure whether a new SNRI will help or not, but I feel that trying a new one is the most logical option.  My current one is probably going to be horrendous to come off of.  It is so well known for being terrible to withdraw from that there's an entire forum for it (http://www.cymbaltawithdrawal.com/).  If you Google "Cymbalta withdrawal," there are plenty of horror stories told by people who have suffered while coming off the drug.  My doctor doesn't think it would be any big deal (!!!) even though I've been on Cymbalta for 10+ years.  I'm scared ****less of what it's going to be like.  I remember how awful it was starting Cymbalta, and if the withdrawal is going to be anything like that...I don't know what I'm going to do.  Honestly.  It was horrible.  It helped me for years, but when I was first on it there were moments when I questioned whether or not I was dying.  I just kept telling myself that things would be alright, even though I wasn't sure that was true.  I don't know if I have the strength to do that this time, but I don't know what other option I have.

 

I'm stuck.  I have to change anti-depressants, but I know I'm going to feel deathly ill doing it.  I've gone for a few days not taking it, and on day three I start to get sick.  I'm not looking forward to this.  There are 2 I haven't tried; if neither one works, I guess I will have to start looking for clinical trials in my area, if there are any.

 

 


 

            @mistriTsquirrel, I can understand, even though no two people are identical.    I've been working with treating and managing my clinical depression for about 20 years now.   3 inpatient stays, one for 3 weeks, and I'll go back if I find myself in danger again.    Fighting it is hard.   Hearing, absorbing, learning, and practicing the tools to meet the challenges and keep afloat is not easy and honestly for many of us it's not ever "finished."    Keep in mind that many of us do know exactly what it's like to live with severe, sometimes crippling and dangerous depression.    We're always a work in progress.    But the fact remains that negative things we tell ourselves aren't helpful, and that includes some of the negative websites that tend to go beyond informing us and, instead, make us too fearful of change.   We need to inform ourselves, but then we have to be brave and move beyond the "what ifs."   As an example, I took Cymbalta for years.   When I stopped it, I followed the directions to the letter, gradually stepped it down, and I didn't have any adverse side effects.    I hope you'll be frank with your doctor...  if you think he doesn't listen, tell him that.   If the way he's communicating is pushing you away, explain that.   I know some doctors aren't good, or aren't a great match for us, and some therapists are less than what we need, and that makes the process so much more difficult.    Wish I could help more, but again we only can do so much via internet friendships.   Please, take good care of yourself.❤️

 

 

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova