Re: Dan Wheeler

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@blackhole99 wrote:
@Qgirl26 wrote:
@fingerlakesny wrote:
he's not wearing his wedding ring any more though.
@fingerlakesny, what does that have to do with anything? I have been widowed 2 years this month and although I still wear mine, I keep toying with the idea of removing them. It's a tough, tough decision and one that every widow or widower has to face. Not all will remove theirs but I'm sure it's something they all wrestle with. I struggle with this a lot and have tried to get other's views on it but it's a deeply personal choice for each person. It's not that I no longer love my husband but it's that, for me, I feel like I'm misrepresenting who I am NOW by wearing them. I feel at some point in the near future, I will remove them because it's one way of moving forward. It's a part of the healing process. We all do it differently so I never put anyone down for when or if they choose to remove their rings. Dan was clearly devoted to his wife and by removing his rings, he's not saying otherwise. He's just made a personal choice to move forward in his own way.
I think people mention the ring thing because of the very public way he chose to grieve. IMO his wife is not dead that long for him to be moving on, but he may be the kind of guy who doesn't feel complete without a woman. If he's healed already good for him, he's no kid.

What would be a long enough time?

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

BalletBabe · ‎03-05-2011

My hubby passed last March. I removed my ring a month later, and now wear his ring and mine around my neck. I don't think there is a correct anount of time that a person should wait. We all have to do what is best for us. I personally get comfort in holding the rings in my hand at times.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

Some woman will snatch him up. I see it time and time again with people I know. For some reason it seems to be different with widows. Hummm????

Jamma · ‎03-10-2010

@BalletBabe wrote:
My hubby passed last March. I removed my ring a month later, and now wear his ring and mine around my neck. I don't think there is a correct anount of time that a person should wait. We all have to do what is best for us. I personally get comfort in holding the rings in my hand at times.

I think perhaps age has a lot to do with removing your wedding rings. I am not young and lost my DH 12/22/15, we were married 53 yrs. I can say without a doubt I will not remove my rings or switch them to my right hand.

Thats me---I think eveyrone has to do what they feel is right for them. I look down at my hand and remember the day he placed the engagement ring there and the day the wedding ring was placed there and it gives me comfort.

Jamma

Tissyanne · ‎12-07-2012

@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
Some woman will snatch him up. I see it time and time again with people I know. For some reason it seems to be different with widows. Hummm????

He has two daughters, and three granchildren to consider. I wonder if they would be accepting of him marrying again? They are a big part of his life, and the youngest daughter still lives with him.

Qgirl26 · ‎03-20-2010

@BalletBabe wrote:
My hubby passed last March. I removed my ring a month later, and now wear his ring and mine around my neck. I don't think there is a correct anount of time that a person should wait. We all have to do what is best for us. I personally get comfort in holding the rings in my hand at times.

@BalletBabe, from one widow to another, I am so sorry for your loss. I like your idea of wearing the rings around your neck. This is something I will very much consider. I still have not removed mine (it really is a very hard decision, I've worn them for so very long!) but if I do, that's what I might do with mine. My right hand is chunkier than my left so moving it over to that hand won't work for me. Thanks for sharing what you did. That's a good way to keep our rings close to my heart.

pattypeep · ‎06-06-2011

@Qgirl26 When my dad died, mom gave me his wedding ring and I wore it around my neck for a long time. When mom passed, I put them both together on the chain and wear them from time to time, but leave them together on the chain always.

Happy Friday!