Dog dilemma

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

We took in my dad's dog a couple months ago. He is a male Pekinese, and he is deaf. He has been sort of a challenge, but he is doing well. This is the SECOND dog we took from my dad when he said he couldn't care for them. We also took a male Pomeranian a few years ago. In NO WAY did we want ANY dog, but we did it for my dad. We had decided no more dogs after losing our dog after many years. So, we now have 2 dogs from my dad.

My dad is 89, and he really can't properly care for a dog. He didn't let him out enough and he soiled all over his house. He didn't get him groomed on schedule. My brother's wife said NO to taking the dog (even though we had already taken one), and she was going to take Buddy back to the shelter. My husband and I felt really bad, so we offered to take him.

NOW, my dad is saying he would like the dog BACK. He is so lonely and misses the dog. It's not that we WANTED to do this, but felt it was the right thing. We are feeling that we should not give the dog back, for the dog's sake.

Now my stomach and head hurt! We tried to make the best of this situation. My husband and I feel we should NOT give him the dog back. I love my dad dearly, but I think this would be a BAD IDEA.

Any thoughts?

Hyacinth

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

Ugh, what a predicament you are in! I sympathize with you @hyacinth003 and I am truly sorry that you are going through this. It was extremely kind of you and your husband to take these dogs.

Anyway, to get to the issue at hand, I think it is in the best interest of the dog AND your father, for you to keep the dog. Your dad, obviously, cannot care for the dog properly so it wouldn't be fair to put the dog back in that situation. And if the dog is doing his business in your dad's house, then that's not good for your father.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

eddyandme · ‎09-24-2011

Do you live relatively close to your Dad? Was thinking perhaps every morning of evening (after work?) you and the dog could drop in for 'coffee and'; or, someone could stop by nitely, drop his dog off for an overnite and pick him up in the morning. It's a commitment on your part, but, I'm sure your Dad would like your company, plus his furbaby's, and, you or you DH might actually enjoy it! Afterall, at 89, we have to face the sad fact of life - you won't have him forever. Why not make the most of your time together and good memories in the future?

GingerPeach · ‎03-12-2010

I agree with @Citrine1, @hyacinth003

I think the best interest of the dog is for you to keep him, and if or when possible, take him to visit your dad.

It does no one any good for the dog to be left to his own devices at your dad's home.

Dogs, or any other pets, are supposed to be cared for and not just be a device to forestall loneliness. Surely it's good if they can be both, but the care component must be there.

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.

NickNack · ‎03-10-2010

I agree that you would know what is best for the dog. If your father wasn't taking him out on a regular basis or getting him groomed, he wasn't properly caring for him. I think you should be firm and stand your ground about this. I hope you can make your dad understand that this is what's best for the dog.

I commend you for taking in two of your dad's dogs when you didn't want them. Your dad should appreciate you and can visit the dog at your house. My dad is at the point where he isn't making the best decisions either. My sister and I have had to step in several times.

The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau

SXMGirl · ‎07-07-2010

It is wonderful that you took in your dad's dog, It looks like you have your hands full. Elderly do better when they have their pets. Is it possible that the dog spend weekends with your dad and you hire a dog walker to take the dog out for several walks over the weekend? Or, if you live close enough, let the dog spend days with your dad and then bring the dog to your home in the evening? I know that is a lot of work, but you seem to really love your dad and having his dog with him will probably be good for him.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!

Kitlynn · ‎03-09-2010

THe best thing for the dog is to have a stable home where he is let out and groomed properly and just over all good solid care. It is definitely a hard position to be in but at times we just have to step up and make those hard decisions. You have done the right thing and I am sorry for your Dad but it sounds like he is not capable of taking care of the dog on a daily basis. It would be nice if he can see the dog and maybe have a couple hours of visitation when and if that would work out for you. Don't second guess yourself just know you are doing what is right all the way round Plus it is really not fair to the dog to pull him back and forth.

GRACIE · ‎04-14-2010

There is no dilemma, follow your heart. You know it would be a bad idea to give the dog back. Have you father over for a visit, or let the dog visit. But under no circumstances give the dog back. Sometimes doing what's best, is the hardest thing to do.

Perkup · ‎03-09-2010

I know this isn't the answer you're seeking, but how about keeping the dog and finding a really nice cat for your Dad. Cats can used an automatic feeder, a littere box and an auto waterer. They honestly require little care. Your Dad would still have something alive and active in the house, but would not have to do due diligence every day. Litter box could be cleaned every couple of days, and feeders/water containers can be loaded every few days - no need for daily feedings. You could stop by periodiclly to see that everthing is done. I know your Dad loves dogs, but sometimes a cat can be a great companion. Just a thought.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@Perkup wrote:
I know this isn't the answer you're seeking, but how about keeping the dog and finding a really nice cat for your Dad. Cats can used an automatic feeder, a littere box and an auto waterer. They honestly require little care. Your Dad would still have something alive and active in the house, but would not have to do due diligence every day. Litter box could be cleaned every couple of days, and feeders/water containers can be loaded every few days - no need for daily feedings. You could stop by periodiclly to see that everthing is done. I know your Dad loves dogs, but sometimes a cat can be a great companion. Just a thought.

@Perkup***Wat a great idea, Girl!