Mom to Mom

[gracie2014]

@LilacTree Dealing with a situation with a niece I helped to raise, she has done some pretty nasty things as has her mom..I love her but can't wait for her to leave my home...don't like the person she has become...but love her...she and her mom recently did something bordering in illegal..won't know until the investigation is over...but she must leave..moved in with two young children, a cat and a mastiff puppy the size of a small pony..no asking..just moved in until her home sells...does not want to work..spends child support money on ; eyebrow threading, hair, nails, new clothes and shoes every weekend..I am over it..have I said that enough..over it.

[tansy]

Lilac, are you still seeing a therapist?  If so, can you share a little of her comments on this situation?

I love both of my children, but as adults if one of them seriously harmed the other in some manner, I would cut off that child until he made it right with his sibling.

[gracie2014]

Her role model is Kim Kardashian....seriously? I just turned 62 and can't deal with the mess...she doesn't realize you have to pay for a mortgage...believes the bank is going to give her the house for free..the chick has not paid her mortgage in over two years...prefers ordering out food or taking the kids out to eat..a case of champagne taste with a beer budget..

[LilacTree]

---

@gracie2014 wrote:

@LilacTree Dealing with a situation with a niece I helped to raise, she has done some pretty nasty things as has her mom..I love her but can't wait for her to leave my home...don't like the person she has become...but love her...she and her mom recently did something bordering in illegal..won't know until the investigation is over...but she must leave..moved in with two young children, a cat and a mastiff puppy the size of a small pony..no asking..just moved in until her home sells...does not want to work..spends child support money on ; eyebrow threading, hair, nails, new clothes and shoes every weekend..I am over it..have I said that enough..over it.

---

@gracie2014

That's a lot to put up with.  Is her mom your sister or your husband's relative? 

My situation is nothing like this.  I did write about it years ago when it was going on and don't want to bring it up again . . . not trying to be mysterious, just wanting to know how most of you would feel after an estrangement caused by one daughter who did something really hateful to another daughter that split my family permanently.

[gracie2014]

Her mom is my sister..

[LilacTree]

---

@tansy wrote:

Lilac, are you still seeing a therapist?  If so, can you share a little of her comments on this situation?

I love both of my children, but as adults if one of them seriously harmed the other in some manner, I would cut off that child until he made it right with his sibling.

---

@tansy

You were around at the time, Tansy, and may remember this situation.  Apologies either way will never happen, there is too much . . . I guess I have to say it . . . hate.  If I reconciled with the one who caused it, I would lose my other daughter, who has never done a mean thing to me or anyone else.  But I still love both, differently, and my next birthday I will be 80, and I am not healthy.  

I feel as though I am behind a brick wall with two doors in it and I can only open one, and my feet are stuck in cement.  I dream this often and I know the reason.

As to the therapist, she said she couldn't help me.  I will try to find another one.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

  Yes, I would love my child no matter what they did.

  Even if they were a serial killer or rapist, I would still love them.

  I have actually thought about this subject at length....just because I think about things like that.....

[gracie2014]

@LilacTree I have always been the one trying to heal situations like the one you are describing..but too much has happened recently...there are rivalries in my family...this sister and her daughter are often at the center of the mess..I just want to find a log cabin with a stream in the back on some mountain..where these folks can no longer disturb my peace....just me and my poodle.

[LilacTree]

---

@gracie2014 wrote:

@LilacTree I have always been the one trying to heal situations like the one you are describing..but too much has happened recently...there are rivalries in my family...this sister and her daughter are often at the center of the mess..I just want to find a log cabin with a stream in the back on some mountain..where these folks can no longer disturb my peace....just me and my poodle.

---

@gracie2014

Ahh, know the feeling well, gracie.  I am so sorry this is happening to you.  It is not fair.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@gracie2014  Your log cabin sounds idyllic - (as long as it has internet, LOL!)