What age should baby start daycare?

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

DS and DDIL are expecting our first grandchild in November. DDIL says they can only afford for her to stay at home three to four months. They both work for the government and do not want to lose their positions with jobs so hard to come by nowadays. Ideally, they'd like me to babysit. DH and I would love this as we are both retired and are not big fans of daycare(generational I guess) They live one and a half hours from us. As I was a stay at home mom until DS went to school full time and then worked in a school so I was home when he was. I was never comfortable with day care. Just wondering since so many have to use it nowadays, at what age do most babies start daycare?

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

Daycare around here accepts babies at 6 months.

I watched my granddaughter for the first 2 1/2 years of her life while my daughter and hubby worked. Loved every minute of it...especially rocking her to sleep.....

Shelbelle · ‎03-09-2010

My little grandson, now 9 mos, has been in daycare since he was 3 mos, my daughter had to return to work. He seems to love it, when she drops him off, he goes right to his teachers with no fuss. The activities they do with even the infants are to be commended, things I never thought to do with my kids as a stay at home mom.

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

Hi Shellbelle - nice to see a familiar poster. I don't post much anymore but do remember you from before especially regarding Isomers beauty!

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@Starpolisher wrote:
DS and DDIL are expecting our first grandchild in November. DDIL says they can only afford for her to stay at home three to four months. They both work for the government and do not want to lose their positions with jobs so hard to come by nowadays. Ideally, they'd like me to babysit. DH and I would love this as we are both retired and are not big fans of daycare(generational I guess) They live one and a half hours from us. As I was a stay at home mom until DS went to school full time and then worked in a school so I was home when he was. I was never comfortable with day care. Just wondering since so many have to use it nowadays, at what age do most babies start daycare?

You will not be babysitting you will be providing fulltime free daycare, are you up for that?

Heart of Spade · ‎10-12-2014

My answer is NEVER! Reading this made me really sad. No baby would "love" going to daycare. What little baby loves being away from it's mother at that age, all day long? That is something people say to themselves to relieve their guilt. When a baby appears to "love" going to daycare it's because it has developed a maternal bond with a total stranger. If I was the mother of that child, I'd feel really sad about that; certainly not happy. There is no way anyone will ever convince me a baby is going to receive the attention, nurturing, and love it needs to thrive while stuck in a daycare setting.

Furthermore, there is no study that says children in daycare (or even preschool) learned things that made them better prepared for school. Studies do show that, within the first few weeks of school, all the kids are essentially at the same place academically no matter what preschool education they have had. And kids raised at home typically have better behavior and temperament because that haven't been raised in a survival of the fittest-type setting.

Doesn't anyone ever wonder if there is a correlation between the tremendous amount of ADHD/ADD diagnoses and the fact that so many of our kids are now raised in a daycare setting?

And at the end of the week, between what is spent on daycare and non-essential services and material possessions, I bet most people could afford to have one parent at home with the children. Maybe a part-time evening job would help with finances or parents working different shifts if both absolutely have to work.

None of this may seem ideal, but as a society, we have to stop thinking it's ok to have strangers raise our children!! Whose values and morals do you want instilled in your children? Yours or some person you don't even know?

Sorry if you disagree with me, but I think, deep down, you know I'm right.

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

@Starpolisher Hi! I will answer about what DD & her DH did...daycares in their area start very accepting at a very early age. Their first child (while they were living in Pittsburgh) attended day care as soon as DD went back to work.

They moved to a more rural area and found a daycare that is excellent to the extreme...they provide all snacks, bottles and even diapers! There are not a humongous number of children.

To my way of thinking, there are some plusses to daycare. First, our grand daughter is a very sociable type and she actually gets the socialization and art/craft/music/dance that ours didn't. (I was a SAHM)

There are some minuses also, which I think would be worse if she attended day care in the larger, more "citified" atmosphere of the first one.

The main drawbacks we have seen so far are 1) infections (which any grand child of ours would be getting anyway and 2) behaviors such as hitting, that our DGD needs to learn not to do.

Another plus, our DGD learned about the difference between "baby" and herself... so that when her new brother (still a newborn) came home, she had a good idea of how to treat him and she was very accepting of him.

The daycare worked with her on this...

I hope you find a good situation... whatever you choose will be best for them.

The other dynamics that I have about daycare that need to be counteracted with children is the tendency to "bond" with other children against adults. I don't like this and still don't know if this facet has been counteracted successfully with her...it is too soon to tell.

The teens I taught at school increasingly displayed "pack" behavior against all adults. I attributed this to daycare and to lack of parental bonding.

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~

Reba055 · ‎06-23-2014

I think it's better if they can start when they are older toddlers. I don't agree that they shouldn't go at all. It helps with socializing skills and adapting to situations. No one should have to feel guilty about doing what they have to do. I can tell you that I volunteered a lot when my daughter was in kindergarten/elementary school and kids that never went to daycare were terrified and had a hard time adjusting to school. Much more likely to be shy and withdrawn. And it's not as easy to teach younger children as some moms think it is. While some are very good and their child is prepared, many times they are lagging Way behind. I know, I did a lot of tutoring with these kids. It's a tough world out there today. Sorry, it might not be popular to say, but it's true. Maybe they could find someone to come into their home until the child is older?

I'm not bashing stay at home moms either. I've done a little of both. I wouldn't want to send my baby to a daycare if I could do something else.

tends2dogs · ‎05-08-2010

@Heart of Spade wrote:
My answer is NEVER! Reading this made me really sad. No baby would "love" going to daycare. What little baby loves being away from it's mother at that age, all day long? That is something people say to themselves to relieve their guilt. When a baby appears to "love" going to daycare it's because it has developed a maternal bond with a total stranger. If I was the mother of that child, I'd feel really sad about that; certainly not happy. There is no way anyone will ever convince me a baby is going to receive the attention, nurturing, and love it needs to thrive while stuck in a daycare setting.

Furthermore, there is no study that says children in daycare (or even preschool) learned things that made them better prepared for school. Studies do show that, within the first few weeks of school, all the kids are essentially at the same place academically no matter what preschool education they have had.  And kids raised at home typically have better behavior and temperament because that haven't been raised in a survival of the fittest-type setting.

Doesn't anyone ever wonder if there is a correlation between the tremendous amount of ADHD/ADD diagnoses and the fact that so many of our kids are now raised in a daycare setting?

And at the end of the week, between what is spent on daycare and non-essential services and material possessions, I bet most people could afford to have one parent at home with the children. Maybe a part-time evening job would help with finances or parents working different shifts if both absolutely have to work.

None of this may seem ideal, but as a society, we have to stop thinking it's ok to have strangers raise our children!! Whose values and morals do you want instilled in your children? Yours or some person you don't even know?

Sorry if you disagree with me, but I think, deep down, you know I'm right.

I am right there with you, Heart of Spade. This is not popular thinking nowadays. People think they need so many "things" that they must have 2 incomes. The cost of daycare is astronomical and if there is more than one child.......wow. I can't imagine any job being more important than raising your own child. People have "careers", well, this is a career!

Fear not Brothers and Sisters! I have read THE BOOK..........we win!!!

Jayjay · ‎03-11-2010

@tends2dogs wrote:

@Heart of Spade wrote:
My answer is NEVER! Reading this made me really sad. No baby would "love" going to daycare. What little baby loves being away from it's mother at that age, all day long? That is something people say to themselves to relieve their guilt. When a baby appears to "love" going to daycare it's because it has developed a maternal bond with a total stranger. If I was the mother of that child, I'd feel really sad about that; certainly not happy. There is no way anyone will ever convince me a baby is going to receive the attention, nurturing, and love it needs to thrive while stuck in a daycare setting.

Furthermore, there is no study that says children in daycare (or even preschool) learned things that made them better prepared for school. Studies do show that, within the first few weeks of school, all the kids are essentially at the same place academically no matter what preschool education they have had.  And kids raised at home typically have better behavior and temperament because that haven't been raised in a survival of the fittest-type setting.

Doesn't anyone ever wonder if there is a correlation between the tremendous amount of ADHD/ADD diagnoses and the fact that so many of our kids are now raised in a daycare setting?

And at the end of the week, between what is spent on daycare and non-essential services and material possessions, I bet most people could afford to have one parent at home with the children. Maybe a part-time evening job would help with finances or parents working different shifts if both absolutely have to work.

None of this may seem ideal, but as a society, we have to stop thinking it's ok to have strangers raise our children!! Whose values and morals do you want instilled in your children? Yours or some person you don't even know?

Sorry if you disagree with me, but I think, deep down, you know I'm right.

I am right there with you, Heart of Spade. This is not popular thinking nowadays. People think they need so many "things" that they must have 2 incomes. The cost of daycare is astronomical and if there is more than one child.......wow. I can't imagine any job being more important than raising your own child. People have "careers", well, this is a career!

I totally agree as well. I was just talking with a friend last night about how many new moms just don't stay home any longer.....Sure, some of them do need to work but many of the ones I know are only working for extra money. Buying a starter home isn't a smaller home any longer, it's 3,000+ square feet home. Then the mom has a part time job selling skin care or something else to help their "families" future. That was the excuse this mom made to her 2 children as they closed on a $460,000.00 home.
I understand some moms do need to work but some also can take a break from their career to raise their little ones until they go to school full time.
I was a stay at home mom and we had to make sacrifices and I think many of our 30ish year old couples nowadays only want more and more and more.

As far as daycare goes, I cannot comment because I have never used one and although I know many grandparents watch their grandchildren, it's a burden on some of them but they do it. My dil has her mother watching my 2 grandchildren full time, and it's a hour drive each way. No further comment but her mothers' whole life right now is raising her grandchildren during the week as well as anytime they need someone on the weekends.