Mom to Mom

[KarenQVC]

The reality is that most people can tell if a child is autistic or some other diagnosis. We don't tend to criticize those. If a handicapped person annoys me, I just leave without comment. However the brats raised by narcissistic parents are the worst. In that case I do leave--but only with comment to management. Those nasty parents don't deserve my advice--let them live with the animals they are raising. By the way, I was once treated to several teens having dry sax in a drugstore!

[hyacinth003]

On 9/29/2014 MotivatedMomma said:

While I believe that children need to learn respect and correct behaviors when out in public, I also work with special needs children and I've learned to temper my thoughts, actions and opinions when around children who are acting up. You have no idea what the actual situation is for this particular child nor what the parent(s) are going through at the time. While I believe that parents have a responsibility to teach their children appropriate behaviors, before you judge make sure you feel confident that you know the family's situation before throwing accusations out there.

Thank you for that! As the mother of a special needs child (ASD), I got dirty looks a lot of the time.

You really don't know what might be going on with a child. I did NOT allow her to behave badly in public, and would remove her if I could. I would talk to her before we went places if possible.

If we had to wait anywhere, it was a special kind of hel*! She was extremely hyperactive, and people misjudged the situation all the time.

It took me quite awhile to not let it bother me.

But, I do think there are standards that should be adhered to in public for most kids.

Hyacinth

[Tinkrbl44]

OH BOY .......... some will hate this and some will love it, but I have to share my experience .....

I was in the local Walmart not long ago and the minute I walked in the door and went for my cart, I heard a kid screaming ..... hoping they were in the checkout line.

I shopped for a while and ended up in the back of the store and this kid was a few aisles over, SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS ...... not talking loudly ..... SCREAMING. People were looking at each other with the "she should do something" expression .... but the mother totally ignored his hysterics.

After a solid 5 minutes of non-stop screaming, I finally called over to the mother and said "Can't you shut that kid up!!".

She went ballistic ...... screaming at me, that her precious child is only 15 months old and "learning to express himself" .... and HOW DARE I say anything about her child ....

I stared at her until she finished and said, in a low voice, this is a public place, not a playground, and the people in this store shouldn't have to endure misbehaving children. If your child can't behave in public, get a baby sitter !!!

She swore a few expletives and left ...... and THREE people came over to me and said thank you ...

I don't see why WE have to tolerate kids who haven't been taught how to behave in public.

And .... when I see kids yelling and recklessly running up and down the aisles ..... I immediate say (quite loudly) ... HEY !!! BE CAREFUL!!! WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER??

Usually a mother will come running, slightly embarrassed .... but she gets them in check.

Yeah, I know some will think I went too far ..... but SOMETIMES the parents have to be embarrassed into doing something.

Whatever it takes .... I can tell you from experience that the store manager won't do anything!

[Lovethesea]

I have noticed for several years that mothers shopping with their children say NOTHING to them when they are running, yelling, screaming, crying with their mouths wide open, pulling items off shelves, climbing under racks of clothing with sticky treats all over their mouths and hands... shall I go on!? That these mothers say nothing to their children baffles me. Also, I have seen toddlers and pre-schoolers walking a block ahead of their parents on sidewalks where cars conceivably could back out of driveways, and where the small child could easily walk or run into a cross street. What is wrong with parents of young children today? Are they overreacting to their own childhoods with parents who actually taught them how to behave? What happened to holding your child's hand while walking outdoors? Oh, and let's not forget these small children running loose in parking lots. So very dangerous! It often crosses my mind when observing such behavior that their parents must be trying to get rid of them (perish the thought).

[drizzellla]

OH the stories I could tell. I worked for 6+ years at the Disney Store. It didn't take me long to come to the conclusion that the reason the kids act the way they do is because of their parents. In fact I used to say to my parents over and over again how glad I was that I had them for my parents. It was sad because there were kids that you enjoyed seeing and interacting with and then there were kids that you knew the store would be trashed and displays ripped apart. We even had kids use in the plush mountain display as their bathroom, more than once.

After awhile it isn't fun to deal with the parents yelling at you because they can't find their kid and "why wasn't I watching their kid. What am I being paid for?????" And dealing with rude people. Time to move on

[glitzandglam]

We recently went away for the weekend and had the misfortune of staying in a hotel with a bunch of families whose kids were attending some kind of sports tournament nearby. To say that the hotel was OVERRUN with loud, screaming, ill-behaved children is a complete understatement. The worst was watching mothers take their kids to the indoor pool (that did not have a lifeguard) and LEAVE. Unbelievable.

[BOYINTX]

oh i detest that TRYING TO EXPRESS -mess.....

[Java]

I work with special needs children, and I bet you wouldn't think there was anything diagnosed with our group if you saw them out in public. They "look" like your average child. Developmentally, however, we are all still working on it. I now tend to give kids the benefit of the doubt. And in many cases of children on the spectrum, you are trained to ignore the tantrum.(not rewarding bad behavior)

On 10/4/2014 KarenQVC said:

The reality is that most people can tell if a child is autistic or some other diagnosis. We don't tend to criticize those. If a handicapped person annoys me, I just leave without comment. However the brats raised by narcissistic parents are the worst. In that case I do leave--but only with comment to management. Those nasty parents don't deserve my advice--let them live with the animals they are raising. By the way, I was once treated to several teens having dry sax in a drugstore!

[Mama Mia]

My DH and I were shopping in Walmart one day and this mother had two kids standing up in the cart, a no no anyway. They got beside me and the girl, about four or five, just screamed, the loudest scream I had ever heard, when they got beside me. I turned and "Stop that" and she did. The mother got confrontational and told me to "not talk to her child like that."

so I told her if she would have taught her some manners, I wouldn't have to, and kept on shopping.

I go to the next aisle over, and here they come. The mother apologizes to me, but then said,"look now she's crying" like it is my fault. I just again told her to teach her some manners and walked on. I am 76 years old and can't believe the way the kids act these days. And the mothers don't care one bit.

mm

[chrystaltree]

.....find a hairdresser that doesn't allow children in the shop unless they are getting their hair done. Yes, there are bad parents in the world. Yes, there are overly permissive parents in the world. We can't do anything about them or their irritating, bothersome children. We can refuse to do business with those who cater to them.